Benny the Bull is Free

For Bulls fans fearful of having to endure a long season without Benny the Bull traversing the sidelines, take a deep breath. The misdemeanor charges against Benny have been dropped.

"Charges of misdemeanor battery and driving within a parkway were filed against Barry Anderson, the Benny the Bull mascot. Police said Anderson, in his bright red bull costume, threw a punch at a sheriff's deputy on July 2, knocking off his glasses and breaking his watch."

All of this happened at the Taste of Chicago this summer. Apparently Benny was riding a mini motorcycle through the Taste without a permit and allegedly a fistful of vodka (when I say allegedly, I mean I'm making that up) when an off-duty cop tried to stop him.

Benny took off running (thinking he could just blend into the crowd, I'm sure) but ultimately was caught and charged.

When reached for questioning about today's decision, Benny had this to say:

"Today is yet another great day in the American justice system. The innocent have been set free from the shackles of society's most arcane of laws. I stand before you today a free mascot and a free man. Go Bulls!"

Benny then did a two backflips before finishing with the splits and twirling a basketball on his finger.

MVP Watch 2006

With the emergence of Jermaine Dye as an American League MVP candidate, I've decided that for the final month of the season I will keep tabs on what each of the candidates are doing to earn the award. My 5 contenders for the AL MVP are:Jermaine Dye, Derek Jeter, David Ortiz, Travis Hafner, Justin Morneau.

1. Jermaine Dye - 3-5 2 runs 2SB- .327 39 HR 106 RBI -Jermaine Dye was a spark plug yet again for the Sox last night. After falling down 4-0 early, the Sox had plenty of chances to get back into the game and failed. Finally, they broke through in the 8th when Tadahito Iguchi hit a 2 run homer to tie the game at 4. Dye followed that up with a single and then stole second, allowing him to score on Jim Thome's single. The Sox won 5-4.
2. Derek Jeter -4-8 2RBI 1 run 1SB- .339 12 HR 83 RBI -Jeter and the Yankees split a double header against the Tigers yesterday. Jeter went 3 for 5 in the day game, and 1 for 3 in the nightcap. In the second game Jeter had a two-run single to tie the game at 2-2, though the Yankees would go onto lose.
3. David Ortiz -1EKG 1Bedpan 1 Gurney barely large enough to cover him- .287 47 HR 121 RBI - Papi was released from the hospital yesterday, but there's still no telling when he will return to the Red Sox lineup.
4. Justin Morneau -0-3 2K- .317 32 HR 110 RBI - Justin went o for 3 as the Twins lost their second consecutive game against the Royals and fell 1.5 games behind the White Sox for the wild card.
5. Travis Hafner -2-4 2HR 2RBI 2R- .310 42 HR 116 RBI - Pronk had 2 home runs, including one to tie the game at 2 in the 8th inning. Jhonny Peralta would be the Cleveland hero, though, hitting the game winner in the 10th inning. If Pronk were on a winning team, he'd be on top of this list.
   

The Pittsburgh Pirates Hate Black People

Did the Cubs just get swept by the Pittsburgh Pirates? The only team in the National League with a worse record than theirs?

I haven't spent much time around here discussing the Cubs and for good reason.

They suck. Hard.

On their latest 6 game road trip to St. Louis and Pittsburgh the Cubs went 0-6. Four of the losses were the walk off variety.

"You go out and hope for the best and prepare for the worst, and you take what comes. Right now, it seems to be the worst."

-Michael Barrett

That's the spirit, Mikey!

But there's still some good news for Cubs fans to hold onto this 2006 season:

• There's only a month left
• Dusty Baker only has a month left
• Only 10 days until the Bears kickoff at Lambeau Field

Seriously, from this point on all Cubs fans should start rooting against the Florida Marlins.

If the Marlins somehow manage to make the playoffs it will be very hard for Jeffrey Loria to fire Joe Girardi. But if the Marlins don't make it, Loria will get what he wants and fire him.

Then, hopefully, Jim Hendry will be smart enough to swoop in and snatch Girardi up.

Look at what he's done in Florida. Girardi has taken a team and its pitching staff more inexperienced than the Cubs and has them contending for the playoffs.

Who knows what he could do for the North Siders?

Baseball Tonight 8-31-06

Three games to watch as I figure out a way to kill Joe Torre for not bringing in Mariano Rivera last night.

• New York Yankees (78-53 1st AL East Randy Johnson 14-10 4.96) vs. Detroit Tigers (83-50 1st AL Central Jeremy Bonderman 11-6 3.92)-Fuck you, Joe Torre! I don't care how big your lead in the division is or if he pitched earlier in the afternoon, bring in Mariano at the end. When you played Mortal Kombat and were told to "Finish Him" did you just punch the guy? No, you ripped out his spine. Baseball is no different, Joe. The White Sox should be 3.5 out of first. Oh, and I'm taking the Yankees this afternoon. (ESPN 1:05PM Est.)
• Minnesota Twins (76-55 3rd AL Central Johan Santana 15-5 3.01) vs. Kansas City Royals (49-85 5th AL Central Jorge De La Rosa 3-3 8.13)-Okay, if the Twins lose this game today they should be officially eliminated from the playoffs. I said it earlier this season when KC swept Boston (dome may notice that the Red Sox have played like ass since) and I'm saying it again now. The Royals seem to have a thing for messing up wild card hopefuls. They swept Boston, managed to split 4 games with the White Sox, and are now on the verge of sweeping Minnesota. Somehow, I think Johan Santana figures out a way to stop the force that is the Kansas City Royals. Twins salvage one today. (1:10PM Est.)
• St. Louis Cardinals (70-61 1st NL Central Jeff Suppan 10-7 4.77) vs. Florida Marlins (65-67 3rd NL East Dontrelle Willis 9-10 4.01)-The Cardinals ended the Marlins' nine-game winning streak last night with an offensive explosion. Today, I don't think it will be so easy against Dontrelle Willis, but I'm still going to take the Cardinals. (8:10PM Est.)

Yesterday: 1-2 (W-Athletics L-Diamondbacks Twins)

Season: 65-57

Baseball Tonight 8-30-06

Only Mother Nature could keep the Tigers from losing their grip on the AL Central last night - and me from a 2-1 evening.

• Oakland Athletics (76-56 1st AL West Barry Zito 14-8 3.64) vs. What's Left of the Boston Red Sox (71-61 2nd AL East Curt Schilling 14-6 3.95)-Oakland goes for the sweep today over the Red Sox, who will be without David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, Wily Mo Pena and David Wells. Wells is reportedly about to be traded, not something a team that considers itself in the hunt would do, especially when their biggest problem is pitching. Schilling takes the mound tonight just one strikeout shy of 3,000 in his career. Hopefully that milestone will be enough for him tonight, as I don't expect the makeshift Red Sox lineup to give him much support against Zito. Take Oakland. (3:35PM Est.)
• Arizona Diamondbacks (64-68 4th NL West Claudio Vargas 10-8 5.14) vs. San Diego Padres (67-65 2nd NL West Mike Thompson 3-5 5.07)-Well, last night the Padres were able to finally pass the Reds for the Wild Card lead. Tonight they start the process of trying to hold onto it. Rookie Mike Thompson takes the mound; he hasn't won a game since June 20th. The Padres are also one of the likely destinations for the aforementioned David Wells. They could use him this afternoon, cuz I'm taking Arizona. (6:40PM Est.)
• Minnesota Twins (76-54 3rd AL Central Boof Bonser 3-4 5.18) vs. Kansas City Royals (48-85 5th AL Central Luke Hudson 6-5 5.94)-The Twins weren't able to hold onto the Wild Card lead for long, losing 2-0 last night at home to the lowly Royals. The Twins' red hot bats of last week have cooled considered; they've managed only 1 run in their last two games. But there is hope: Luke Hudson has been rocked in his last 2 road starts. Something tells me the Piranhas get their fill tonight. Taking the Twinkies. (8:10PM Est.)

Yesterday: 1-1 (W-Oakland L-Angels)

Season: 64-55

Hate to Say I Told You So

So maybe, just maybe, Ozzie Guillen is starting to listen to what I asked him to do. Whether he reads Foul Balls or just checked the email I sent him, I can't be sure. Hell maybe it's just Jermaine Dye telling him with his bat.

Whatever it is, I may just be getting my wish.

When I wrote a week ago that I felt the Sox would be best served to move Jermaine Dye to the #3 spot, I hoped Ozzie would agree with me. When Jim Thome tweaked his hammy that night in Detroit, I got my wish. I never wanted to see Thome get hurt but luckily it was nothing major.

So Jermaine Dye was moved to the #3 spot in Jimmy's place, and ever since he's been pretty solid. He won the AL Player of the Week award for last week, his second time this season. In the 6 games that JD has taken Thome's spot in the lineup he's 8-for-20 with four home runs and 20 RBI.

It now appears Ozzie is considering moving JD to the #3 spot even after Thome returns to the lineup tonight.

"Having Dye on base, then Paulie or Thome in a row, you have a chance to score. That's in my mind right now."
-Ozzie Guillen

Guillen says the move would only be temporary, lasting only as long until he feels that Thome is fully recovered. Still, if Dye continues to hit the way he has the last week, why bother taking him out even when Jimmy is 100%?

According to the Elias Sports Bureau, in 41 first inning at bats this season Jermaine Dye is hitting .439 with seven home runs and 24 RBI. In the last 12 White Sox games, Jermaine has homered in his first at bat 5 times.

Along with the campaign to keep JD in the #3 spot, there's also the newest one brewing around Chicago.

JD 4 MVP

With David Ortiz in a hospital for who knows how long, and the Travis Hafner playing on a sub .500 team, it's not out of question that Jermaine Dye will win the AL MVP. Even without Ortiz and Hafner's circumstances, it's hard to say that JD isn't the best candidate for the award.

He's batting .324 with 39 HR and 106 RBI. He still has a month left in his season too, a month in which he could catapult the White Sox back into the playoffs to defend their World Series title. Like a lot of players who win the MVP award, Jermaine has been absolutely brilliant since the All Star break. Since the break JD has hit .335 with 14 HR and 38 RBI.

His biggest competition for the award will probably come from the Yankees' Derek Jeter. While Jeter's batting average is 13 point higher than JD's, his power numbers pale in comparison.

Without taking anything away from Jeter's accomplishments, I don't see much of a competition here.

I've seen Jermaine Dye play every day this season, and I can without a doubt say there is NOBODY in the American League more deserving of the award.

Delmon Young's Strange Debut

The last time we saw Delmon Young he was busy throwing his bat at an umpire in the minors.

Tuesday night, Young was in Chicago making his Major League debut.

In the bottom of the first inning, after Rays' starter Casey Fossum walked both Scott Podsednik and Tadahito Iguchi, Jermaine Dye sent a fly ball deep to right field. Delmon drifted back to the fence, got there in plenty of time, and then seemingly forgot to jump and catch the ball. Instead, the ball landed right on top of the fence and bounced over for a three-run homer, Dye's 39th of the season.

In the top of the second inning Young came to the plate for his first Major League at bat greeted by a chorus of boos.

The very first pitch he saw drilled him in the left arm.

The crowd cheered.

Whether Garcia did it intentionally or not, there's one thing that pitch accomplished: it got Garcia on the umpire's good side. I thought I noticed that Freddy had a strike zone a little bit larger than the Devil Rays got for the rest of the evening.

"Now in the future we will handle our own problems and we don't want anybody else to think they need to discipline us. For me, I want the word out that's the last time it should happen. It's over for him. It's obvious what [the White Sox] did. Nobody else needs to discipline us, we'll take care of that ourselves."
-Tampa Bay manager Joe Maddon

I have a feeling it won't be the last time.

Young did get his first career hit in the 6th inning off Garcia, a two-run homer that got out of the park in a hurry. It closed the White Sox lead to 7-5.

And in the 8th inning the Rays retaliated by beaning A.J. Pierzynski.

Who didn't see that coming?

Maybe Joe Maddon should heed his own advice about Young when it comes to Pierzynski. I've never seen a guy hated so much for absolutely nothing.

The White Sox would get the last laugh, though, when Pierzynski came around to score on a Ross Gload double that made the score 12-9.

Bobby Jenks would come on to pitch a perfect 9th inning and tally his Major League-leading 37th save of the season. The sloppy victory (the Sox had a 7-0 lead after 2 innings) moved the White Sox back into the wild card lead as the Twins were shutout 2-0 at home against Kansas City. The Sox also gained a half game on the Tigers, whose date with the Yankees was rained out.

Vlad the Impaler

Last night in Seattle the Mariners beat the Angels for the second straight time, beating up on Jered Weaver in what was the worst start of his career. In only 4.2 innings of work Weaver allowed nine hits and 4 runs - including 4 home runs.

Chris Snelling had two of the home runs, his first of the season. Still, nothing that happened in the game would matter after the 8th inning.

With one out in the top of the 8th, there was a sickening thud that could be heard throughout Safeco Field. Vladimir Guerrero hit a line drive back through the middle, and directly off of Seattle reliever Rafael Soriano's head. (Video here) Soriano immediately collapsed to the ground holding onto both sides of his head. He was attended to immediately by the Mariners training staff for a few minutes before finally being placed on a backboard and carted off the field.

It's said that he never lost consciousness, but suffered a concussion. He spent the night at Harborview Medical Center for observation.

"The preliminary tests right now are reassuring. We don't feel it's anything very serious."
-team physician Dr. Edward Khalfayan

There's absolutely nothing more scary in the game of baseball than when line drives are smoked right back at a pitcher. Pitchers generally have no time to react and are usually nothing more than sitting ducks. Most times when pitchers do get hit, they're lucky enough to catch it on the thigh or somewhere harmless. The few times when they take it off the head, though.......

"It's the scariest thing in sports, no doubt about it. When it does happen, it's nauseating."
-Mariners reliever J.J. Putz

Hopefully, Soriano will be okay but you know when he finally gets back out on a mound what happened Tuesday night will be fresh in his memory.

Baseball Tonight 8-29-06

For Papi to watch from his hospital room.

• New York Yankees (77-52 1st AL East Chien-Ming Wang 15-5 3.81) vs. Detroit Tigers (82-49 1st AL Central Nate Robertson 11-10 4.10)-Possible preview of the ALCS this week in the Bronx. It's a battle of two pitchers heading in opposite directions. Wang is 7-1 with a 3.06 ERA in his last 9 starts, while Robertson is 3-7 with a 5.50 ERA in his last 10. The Tigers have been struggling as of late, and lost 3 of 4 to the Yankees in Detroit earlier this season. I'm taking the Yankees tonight, causing the Tigers AL Central lead to shrink even further and Tiger fans to sleep even less tonight. (7:05PM Est.)
• St. Louis Cardinals (69-60 1st NL Central Mark Mulder 6-6 6.77) vs. Florida Marlins (64-66 3rd NL East Scott Olsen 10-7 4.42)-The Marlins have won 8 in a row and are within two games of Cincinnati for the wild card in the National League. The Cardinals are coming off a three game sweep of the Cubs but send Mark Mulder to the mound. In his last two starts Mulder has given up around 412 runs. Oh, and he has a career ERA of 10.24 against the Fish in his career. I'm taking the Marlins tonight. (8:10PM Est.)
• Seattle Mariners (62-69 4th AL West Jarrod Washburn 7-12 4.37) vs. Los Angeles Angels (69-63 2nd AL West Jered Weaver 9-1 1.92)-The Mariners finally ended their 20 game losing streak against divisional opponents by beating the Angels 2-0 last night! Tonight we witness a battle between two pitchers both determined to prove that they have their first name spelled the right way. I half expect Subway Jared to run out of the crowd and choke both of them with 6-inch Subway subs. As far as who's going to win the actual game, let's just say it's spelled J-E-R-E-D. Angels win tonight. (10:05PM Est.)

Yesterday: 2-1 (W-Athletics Dodgers L-Padres)

Season: 63-54

Who are they Gonna Blame for the Curse this Time?

Things are going horribly wrong for the Boston Red Sox right now. AL MVP candidate David Ortiz has left the team indefinitely due to an irregular heartbeat. Ortiz had already spent time in a hospital this month for what was thought to be dehydration and fatigue.

Nobody knows if or when Ortiz will return to the Red Sox lineup, but of course the team isn't their greatest concern.

"It's not good. This game is nothing compared to someone's health or family. We don't play games with people's lives. I don't know any of the details. All I can do is pray for him."

-Red Sox reliever Mike Timlin

Still, this could not have come at a worse time for the Red Sox. Ever since catcher Jason Varitek had arthroscopic surgery on his knee August 3rd, the team has been on a steep decline. Each day they fall further behind the Yankees and the AL Wild Card.

To make matters even worse, they had to put rookie starter Jason Lester on the 15-day DL yesterday and they've been without Manny Ramirez in 4 of their last 5 games thanks to a sore right knee.

I don't think the Red Sox will be returning to the postseason in 2006.

Oh God, Please Don't Be Paris Hilton's!!

Matt Leinart is going to be a father.

If you're anything like me, the very first thought that ran through your head was probably, "God no! Don't tell me Paris is procreating!!"

Relax, it's not hers. The Anti-Christ will have to wait a little longer to start its reign of terror on Earth.

Apparently the mother of the baby is none other than USC women's basketball player Brynn Cameron. Neither party has confirmed the news as of yet but Cameron is redshirting this season and will return to play next year.

If it is true, it's been a pretty good week for the first round pick out of USC. He had a very impressive performance against one of the NFL's best defenses, the Chicago Bears, this weekend and is now poised to become a father.

Looked Fine to Me

There was a lot of concern surrounding Carson Palmer's return to an NFL field last night, even from Palmer himself, who said physically he felt fine but wasn't sure about his mental state. Palmer admitted he still thought about the hit to his left knee that ended his - and the Bengals' - season last year.

While Bengal fans talked all off season of how Kimo Von Oelhoffen's takedown of Palmer was deliberate, Bengals players seemed to vent their frustrations by breaking just about every law possible short of murder (give it a week).

All Carson Palmer did was work on getting his knee better. Despite being told it was an injury with a 12-16 month recovery window, Palmer returned to the field last night after only seven-and-a-half months.

It didn't take long to ease Palmer's concerns. After completing his first pass to Chris "Lock Up Your Teenage Daughters" Henry, Palmer was tackled by Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila. He popped right back up.

"It felt good to get hit and to know my knee could withstand the contact. They can talk all they want about you being ready to go, but until you get hit, until you get pressure on the knee from another player, that's when you know you really feel confident about it."

-Carson Palmer

The collective sigh of relief could be heard throughout Ohio. A few plays later, Palmer took off for an 11 yard scramble, before sliding to the turf to a chorus of "GET DOWN!!" from fans, coaches and probably some teammates.

After 25 minutes of play, Palmer left the field for the night. He had completed 9 of 14 passes for 140 yards and three touchdowns. He picked the Packers secondary, particularly fellow Heisman winner Charles Woodson, apart.

The real story of this game may in fact be just how horrible Brett Favre looked. On the Packers opening series, Favre lost the handle on the football without being touched. Dexter Jackson picked it up, dropped it, picked it up again, and returned it 29 yards for the touchdown.

On the next series Favre threw an interception. He was seemingly under pressure every play, behind a offensive line featuring 2 rookie guards.

Ahman Green also made his return to an NFL field last night after a thigh injury ended his 2005 season. He managed 18 yards on 8 carries.

Judging from last night, 2006 is going to be a lot more of the same for both teams. The Bengals are a team on the rise and appear ready to challenge the Steelers for the AFC North, while the Packers look to be in for a long season.

See you on September 10th, Brett.

In other NFL news the Jets named Chad Pennington their opening day starter, while the Texans are considering dropping Domanick Davis from their 53 man roster. Can Mario Williams play running back?

I Love My Chicago Bears

Over at Deadspin they've been doing daily previews of football teams written by fans of each team. Many different writers from a wide variety of professions have been chosen to write about why they love their teams so much.

For some reason, some of these guest writers are missing a large part of the memo. Take these three, for example:

1. Cleveland Browns
2. Houston Texans
3. St. Louis Rams

All are nothing more than obituaries. Hell, the guy who wrote the Rams piece doesn't even LIVE in St. Louis. He was a Los Angeles Rams fan.

Now, Will Leitch is not going to ask me to write a preview for the Bears this season or probably any season for that matter. That's okay, I can live with that. I know I'm not a big enough name.

But I do have one thing some of those name writers don't:

A blind love for my team.

The Chicago Bears.

Even when they're coming off a 3-13 season, I still feel in my heart of hearts that they'll get to the Super Bowl the following year.

I've been a Bears fan for as long as a person can be a fan of a team. FOR-EV-VER.

As a young child I would sit in the living room watching football with my parents and after every tackle point to the television and exclaim "He down!! He down!!"

In other words I was already a better color commentator than Joe Theismann.

I don't have many memories of the Bears victory in Super Bowl XX. I was only five years old at the time and no doubt incredibly drunk. I do recall the victory parade afterwards. Watching the team drive down State Street, confetti flying everywhere, thousands of fans braving the freezing cold to cheer.

I also remember the 1987 season when the Bears led the Redskins 14-0 in a divisional round game at Soldier Field. I then remember the Redskins coming back to beat the Bears 21-17.

Playoff losses are always hard to take, especially when you care so much about a team. But this was the worst. It ended with Walter Payton sitting on the bench alone, crying, the last game of his amazing career. I cried too.

Next season, the Bears were still the top team in the league, finishing 12-4 and tying for the best record in the NFL. Of course, as I would unhappily grow accustomed to, the Bears lost to the eventual champion 49ers in the NFC Championship game.

I remember that offseason my going to a Toys R Us with my parents to meet Jim McMahon and my dad saying, "Try not to dislocate your shoulder signing all those autographs."

My dad hated Jim McMahon.

Not much would change in the early 90s. The Bears would continue winning, only to be beaten in the playoffs.

In 1992 the Bears lost two of their biggest icons from the 80's. Mike Singletary retired and Mike Ditka was fired.

And then... January 19th, 1993... the darkest era of Chicago Bears football in my lifetime would begin.

Dave Wannstedt was named head coach of my Chicago Bears.

I don't remember much from Wanny's five-year reign of incompetence (my psychologist says I've suppressed the memories). From looking up record online that period can basically be summed up as follows: there were a lot of losses and a lot of anguished looks from Wanny before, during and after games.

After Wannstedt came the Dick Jauron era, easily the most boring of all time. Sitting through post-game press conferences with Jauron was like watching a continuous loop of Ben Stein in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

The Jauron era featured memorable quarterbacks named Cade McNown, Shane Matthews, Jim Miller, Moses Moreno, Chris Chandler, Henry Burris and Kordell Stewart.

Then came the magical season of 2001. The Bears somehow managed to go 13-3 and earn a first round bye in the playoffs. I was in Champaign at the time and invited my friends over to watch them take on the Eagles. We watched in horror as Jim Miller separated his shoulder early in the game, realizing our postseason fate now relied on the arm of Shane Matthews. The Eagles realized it too and showed us no mercy, hammering us 31-19.

It would be the final game played at the original Soldier Field.

But when one door closes, another opens.

The next season the Bears played at Memorial Stadium in Champaign, Illinois. A stadium located about 6 blocks south of my apartment.

This was the year I became a Bears season ticket holder. My buddies - Silvio, The Leemer, Kevin, Bill - and I were in heaven. We were sure that the Bears would continue their run from 2001 into 2002 and we'd be witness to our first Super Bowl win in 17 years.

It never happened.

After a quick 2-0 start, the team finished 6-10. None of us ever wavered in our allegiance, though. We went to every game and got as drunk and rowdy as any real fan should be in support of their team.

2003 unleashed the new Soldier Field. Surely one of the ugliest stadiums I have ever seen from the outside. It literally looks like a spaceship landed in the middle of the old Soldier Field.

None of that mattered though, cuz it was what would happen inside that counted.

It was September 29th when the Bears unveiled their stadium on Monday Night Football against the Green Bay Packers. And it was my second year as a season ticket holder, having moved back from Champaign.

We'd hardly settled into our seats before Ahman Green took off for 68 yards down the sideline on a touchdown run. The final score would be Packers 38, Bears 23 but it was never even that close. The highlight of the game was when Kevin tried to get into a fight with a green grizzly bear in a Favre jersey. After pelting it with peanuts, the bear finally stood upon its hind feet and turned towards Kevin. Standing no less than 9 feet tall the bear let out a mighty roar that quickly put an end to Kevin's drunken bravado. He turned to Jason and me for support but was met with two stares that said "This one's your dance, cowboy."

It would be the final season for Dick Jauron, who would be replaced by some guy named Lovie the next offseason.

You can imagine how I felt about a guy named Lovie taking over for my Monsters of the Midway. But at least he said the right things. His goals were to beat the Packers, win the division and win the Super Bowl.

That's like telling a guy you can set up an orgy for him with Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johansson.

Lovie's first season was marred by injuries, and nothing much came of it. Last year though....oh boy, last year.

Most Bears fans still have the bitter taste of Steve Smith running wild left in their mouths. I still remember our defense, though. The defense that returns in its entirety this year.

As I wrote at the top, no matter how badly the previous season ends, I'm always confident the Bears will get to the Super Bowl. So obviously this season, I'm ecstatic. Not only did we win the NFC North last year, the rest of the division completely sucked ass and from everything I've seen so far, they still do.

That means that we've basically already had our ticket to the playoffs punched. All we have to do is go out there and stay healthy.

You want to know why the Bears are going to win the Super Bowl this year? Cuz they're the motherfucking Chicago Bears. With a defense that's not just intent on stopping you, they want to HURT you too.

They're going to win the Super Bowl because they have the best defensive line in the NFL, led by Adewale Ogunleye, Alex Brown and Tommie Harris.

They're going to win the Super Bowl because they have the reigning NFL Defensive Player of the Year playing middle linebacker, Brian Urlacher. They also have the next coming of Derrick Brooks playing the weak side in Lance Briggs.

In the secondary they have Nathan Vasher, Mike Brown, Chris Harris, and Peanut Tillman roaming back there, waiting to make big plays.

On offense we have Thomas Jones, the first Bear to rush for 1,300 yards since a certain guy named Payton, and he's pissed off this year. He's got a chip on his shoulder over having Cedric Benson breathing down his neck.

How can I be optimistic about a team that has Rex Grossman playing quarterback? Cuz Rex has a center named Olin Kreutz who has a gun and isn't afraid to use it. He not only hits opponents, he breaks his own teammates jaws (Fred Miller).

Hell, it doesn't even matter what the offense does. Did the Bears have a great offense in 1985? No, they had a good running back and an amazing defense. Sound familiar?

On February 4th, 2007 in Miami, Florida there will be one team standing victorious above all others.

It will be a certain team, from a certain city on a certain lake in a certain state.

That team will be the Chicago Bears.

Baseball Tonight 8-28-06

Didn't make any picks yesterday, I was too busy sleeping on my lawn.

• Arizona Diamondbacks (4th NL West 63-67 Brandon Webb 13-5 2.99) vs. San Diego Padres (66-64 2nd NL West Woody Williams)-The Padres are now just a half game out of the NL Wild Card spot thanks to a recent run of 5 victories in their last 7 games. Tonight they play the Diamondbacks at Chase Field, where they have always struggled for wins. The DBacks counter with Brandon Webb, who has slowed down a bit lately. Woody Williams starts for the Padres, looking for his 4th straight win. I'm taking San Diego tonight. (9:40PM Est.)
• Oakland Athletics (74-56 1st AL West Esteban Loaiza 7-7 5.12) vs. Boston Red Sox (71-59 2nd AL East Kason Gabbard 0-2 3.38)-The Red Sox nosedive continued this weekend as they were swept in a three game series at Seattle. They've fallen 6.5 games behind the Yankees and 5.5 back of the Twins for the Wild Card. Also, Manny Ramirez has sat out the last few games due to a sore knee. Tonight they start Kason Gabbard, who at AAA was 1-7 with a 5.23 ERA. Those numbers totally deserve a start. The A's send out Esteban Loaiza who has been phenomenal in August. He's 3-0 with a 1.77 ERA in 5 starts this month, including a complete game shutout against the Blue Jays in his last start. The Red Sox are done, and they lose again tonight. (ESPN2 10:05PM Est.)
• Los Angeles Dodgers (68-62 1st NL West Brad Penny 13-7 3.95) vs. Cincinnati Reds (67-64 2nd NL Central Chris Michalak 1-1 4.76)-The Reds were so thrilled to be in a tie with the Cardinals for first they decided to go lose three in a row this weekend at San Francisco. They're now 3 games back, and hold only a half game lead on the Padres. Tonight they face Brad Penny and a loss. Take the Dodgers tonight as the Reds lose their wild card lead. (10:10PM Est.)

Saturday: 2-1 (W-Angels Dodgers L-Tigers)

Season: 61-53

While You Were Drinking

A recap of what you may have missed this weekend

• White Sox lost Wild Card lead - The Twins took 2 out of 3 from the Sox this weekend and, with that, the Wild Card lead. It was a pretty frustrating series, as the Sox had chances to win all three games. On Friday they jumped out to an early 3-0 lead, then lost 5-4. Saturday, Jermaine Dye capped a comeback in the ninth inning with a two-run homer off of Joe Nathan, only to see the team lose in 11. Sunday afternoon finally saw a complete effort as the Sox won 6-1. The best news of the entire weekend may have been Mark Buehrle on Sunday afternoon. He went 7.1 innings only giving up one run in what was his best start in what seemed like 14 years. Also, Twins pitcher Brad Radke, who's been throwing with a torn labrum for a few weeks now, may be done for the season. The bad news: Jose Contreras had his third horrible start in a row and there has to be something wrong with him. Brandon McCarthy came on and pitched very well, only fueling the fire to MOVE HIM INTO THE GODDAMN ROTATION.
• Cardinals sweep the Cubs - Maybe the Cubs don't own the Cardinals after all. After Gary Bennett hit a walk off grand slam on Sunday night, the Cardinals finished their three-game sweep of the Cubs, and expanded their division lead to three games. It was the second night in a row Bennett had a walk off winning hit against the Cubs; Dusty Baker speculates that it's because Bennett is most definitely a racist. The sweep came at the best possible time for the Cardinals cuz after the Reds tied them for the divisional lead last Thursday, they got swept in San Francisco this weekend. Still, I don't even think the National League should have playoffs this season. Just award the Mets the pennant now. Nobody else in the NL even deserves a playoff spot.
• Matt Leinart treats Bears as just another groupie - Apparently the Cardinal really is the state bird of Illinois, cuz Cardinals dominated Chicago teams all weekend. Matt Leinart picked the Bears defense apart like he was still at USC and playing against Southwest North Dakota State. The Cardinals won 23-16 but it wasn't even really that close. To make things worse, Alex Brown dislocated his shoulder in the first quarter but says he'll be ready to play by the season opener. Rex Grossman didn't play as God awful as he had but then Brian Griese came on the field and again made it look incredibly easy. It wouldn't be football season in Chicago if Bears fans weren't chanting the name of the backup QB.
• Barry Bonds played for the Carolina Panthers!? - There was a report released this weekend about several Carolina Panthers seriously abusing steroids during the team's Super Bowl season in 2004. No names have been officially released, but there are enough clues in the report for those who want to do the research.
• Patriots give Deion Branch permission to seek trade - The team and Super Bowl XXXIX MVP are way off on contract negotiations. I wouldn't mind seeing the Bears go after Branch but I'm sure they would have to pay an incredibly high price to get him. Besides, I'm like the Patriots here: I really don't think that Branch deserves as much money as he's asking for. He's a nice receiver to have but I hardly consider him to be a game breaker.
• Cowboys fine Owens $9,500 - The official reason behind the team's fining Owens was for "being a total douchebag." Owens skipped out on a few team functions this weekend while continuing to train for next year's Tour de France. "I have to do it for America, man. Lance retired, the guy who won this year was a cheat. I have to restore the glory to America, man. I'm a patriot." Seriously, for any of you who had Pre-season Week 3 in the office pool, collect your prize. How much longer until Bill Parcells just shoots him?
• In other "Texas is Filled With Rich Morons" news - Ever wonder what winning a national championship does for a University? Well the University of Texas has used some of that BCS money to install the world's largest HDTV at Royal-Memorial Stadium. It's a 1608 inch screen. I mean, why go to the game to actually watch it live when you can go to the game and watch it on a 1608 inch HDTV? I hope it collapses.
  

Baseball Tonight 8-26-06

What a wonderful day yesterday was. I went 0-3 in my picks, and the White Sox blew an early 3-0 lead to the Twins and lost 5-4. I'm in such a good mood right now.

• Los Angeles Angels (68-61 2nd AL West Ervin Santana 12-6 4.28) vs. New York Yankees (76-51 1st AL East Cory Lidle 10-9 4.45)-Ervin Santana has never lost to the Yankees in his long, illustrious two-year career. He's 3-0 with a 2.65 ERA against the Yankees. Since coming to New York, Cory Lidle hasn't given up more than 3 runs. I'm taking the Angels. (FOX 4:05PM Est.)
• Cleveland Indians (59-68 4th AL Central Jake Westbrook 10-8 4.18) vs. Detroit Tigers (81-48 1st AL Central Justin Verlander 15-6 3.05)-The Indians beat the Tigers last night and of course, as happens everytime the Tigers lose, the Sox have to lose too. Jake Westbrook has been roughed up by the Tigers throughout his career, and I think he will again tonight. Taking Detroit. (7:05PM Est.)
• Arizona Diamondbacks (63-65 3rd NL West Miguel Batista 10-5 4.52) vs. Los Angeles Dodgers (66-62 1st NL West Derek Lowe 11-8 3.84)-Apparently the Dodgers have to do things in streaks. They've lost 4 in a row, and their divisional lead is back to a single game over San Diego. Luckily for them, I'm back to save their asses. Take the Dodgers. (9:40PM Est.)

Yesterday: 0-3 (L-Mets Cubs Reds)

Season: 59-52

Baseball Tonight 8-25-06

Three games for Albert Belle to watch from the comfort of his jail cell.

• New York Mets (78-48 1st NL East Brian Bannister 2-0 2.89) vs. Philadelphia Phillies (64-63 2nd NL East Randy Wolf 2-0 5.61)-The Mets have won seven in a row and eleven at Shea Stadium. Tonight, they start a series against another hot team. The Phils had won 5 in a row before getting their ass handed to them by Carlos Zambrano and the Cubs yesterday. This is a huge series for the Phillies cuz a sweep would move them to within 11.5 games of the Mets. I hope you realize I'm kidding. It is important for the Phillies though cuz they are only 2.5 back of the Reds and Cardinals for the NL Wild Card. But I don't think they can slow the Mets down tonight. (7:10PM Est.)
• St. Louis Cardinals (66-60 1st NL Central Jeff Suppan 9-7 5.03) vs. Chicago Cubs (54-73 5th NL Central Juan Mateo 1-1 3.79)-As far as the Cubs season is concerned, they have nothing left to play for this year. They do however have a chance to help ruin their arch-rival's season. After being swept by the Mets this week, the Cardinals have fallen into a tie with the Cincinnati Reds for the NL Central lead. To make things worse they start Suppan tonight, who is 1-2 with a 5.32 ERA this month. Also the Cardinals are 5-11 against the Cubs this season, but 3-3 at Busch Stadium. I'm taking the Cubs tonight as St. Louis fans creep closer to the edge of the ledge. (8:10PM Est.)
• San Francisco Giants (62-66 4th NL West Matt Morris 8-11 4.67) vs. Cincinnati Reds (67-61 2nd NL Central Aaron Harang 13-8 3.72)-The Cardinals will be looking westward tonight for an old friend to help them out. Unfortunately for them, that old friend is 0-4 with a 6.46 ERA over his last seven starts. Matt Morris will be opposed by the ace of the Reds staff, Aaron Harang. With a win tonight Harang would tie Carlos Zambrano for the NL lead with 14. The Reds are looking to be in first place for the first time since June 8th. It's very important for the Reds or Cardinals to win the division, cuz winning the Wild Card gets you a first round series against the Mets. Though I don't like the Reds too much, I think they deserve the spot more than the Cardinals this year. Tonight, I think they finally get it back. Take the Big Red Machine. (10:15PM Est.)

Yesterday: 2-1 (W-Mets Indians L-Orioles)

Season: 59-49 (Now a season-high 10 games over!)

Albert Belle Sentenced to Jail Time

I guess we could call today "Follow Up Friday" or something equally as stupid and contrived. Anyway....

Albert Belle has been sentenced to serve 90 days in jail and 5 years supervised probation for stalking his ex-girlfriend. Belle has already served 29 days of his sentence. If I'm any good at math that means he has 61 days to go before he can start putting more GPS transponders on ex-girlfriends' cars and running down trick-or-treaters in his SUV.

Belle pled guilty to stalking his ex back in July. He was originally arrested and charged in February, then rearrested on May 17th after contacting the woman again.

The biggest loser in all of this may be former Indians' teammate Jason Grimsley. Yes, the same Jason Grimsley who was busted by the DEA for his dealings in steroids.

Looking to get past the negative publicity of his recent steroid troubles and relive the glorious days of "Batgate," Grimsley had been watching season one of FOX's Prison Break for the last few weeks. He was devising a plan to bust Albert out of prison once he got there.

Foul Balls contacted Grimsley at his home to ask him what he's gonna do now. He said he was "devastated" by the news. When asked what he was going to do with himself now Grimsley replied,

"I uh, I....I....I just don't know. You prepare for something for so long, and then this happens. I mean what's the point of busting him out if he's only gonna be in there for a coupla months right? Hey, you wouldn't happen to know anybody that would wanna buy some HGH would you?"

NFL Network Segment on Holley Mangold

I made enough fun of Holley Mangold the last time I wrote about her. It's all out of my system now.

You may remember Mangold as the younger sister of Jets rookie lineman Nick Mangold. You also may remember that Holley is a 300+ pound center for her varsity football team.

I know you remember that "fat girls give the best head cuz they're always hungry." Ok, so maybe it wasn't ALL out of my system.

The NFL Networks Solomon Wilcots did a segment on Holley and her brother Nick last night. It's actually a pretty entertaining segment, so in case you want to see her in action, here's the YouTube clip.

A Laugher at Comerica

The White Sox did everything a team needs to do to win a baseball game Thursday afternoon.

They hit the ball,



they caught the ball,

and did they ever throw the ball.

The 55 minute rain delay before the game turned out to be nothing more than a stay of execution for the Tigers. Jermaine Dye would hit his 36th home run of the season with two outs in the first inning to give the Sox a 1-0 lead, and that would be all Jon Garland needed.

Garland was absolutely masterful in his complete game shutout, running his record to 15-4. After a Curtis Granderson single in the third inning, Jon didn't yield a hit until the ninth inning. He went the full nine, allowing only six hits with a walk and two strikeouts.

"That's as good a pitching game as we've had all year. He did everything that a pitcher is supposed to do out there."

-Ozzie Guillen

Jon has really stepped up and made himself the ace of this White Sox staff. His 33 wins over the last 2 seasons are the most by any pitcher in baseball. Whatever the hell he's been eating in the morning, he needs to start sharing the recipe with the rest of the White Sox starters.

As for the offense, they only needed a single run, but were just as happy to put up a 10 spot. The Sox combined for three home runs in the game, all with two outs. A solo and three run bomb by Jermaine Dye, and another 3 run shot from Juan Uribe. Actually nine of the Pale Hose runs came with two outs.

I've run out of superlatives to describe Jermaine Dye. After today's game, he is now the White Sox Triple Crown King. He leads the team with a .325 average, 37 home runs, and 99 RBI. He was 3-3 today with the 2 homers, 3RBI and 4 runs scored.

Here's JD's stat line for the complete four game set at Comerica.

.437 (7/16) 4HR 7RBI 6R

That's kind of acceptable.

Still the best part of today's White Sox game was not the fact we won 10-0, or any of JD's homers. Nope, it was an out made by Tigers first baseman Sean Casey in the 5th inning.

Casey lined a ball to third that Joe Crede just missed gloving. Instead, Crede slowed the ball down as it rolled into left field. Sean Casey thought Crede caught the ball. He took about two steps towards first and stopped before turning back towards the dugout.

Casey then noticed that the ball was still in play and sprinted to first base, but by then it was too late. Pablo Ozuna picked the ball up in left field and fired across the field to first base getting Casey by a half step.

A 5-7-3 putout.

I remember I almost got thrown out at first base once on a line drive to right field in Little League. Imagine how embarrasing it has to be to get thrown out at first from left field. Casey slammed his helmet to the ground in frustration before returning to the bench.

Apparently he was serenaded with boos, but I didn't notice. I was too busy laughing my ass off.

I've never seen anything like it, and I highly doubt I ever will see it again. I'm hoping somebody puts it up on YouTube soon. If they do I will post it here.

Also as far as Jim Thome, it's likely that he will miss the big weekend series at home against the Twins starting tomorrow. Tigers pitcher Nate Robertson doesn't seem to think that Thome's injury will matter.

"That's the best lineup in baseball, even without Thome."

-Nate Robertson

Way to try to cover your ass, Nate.

Zbikowski Cleared of NCAA Violations

A quick follow up on something I wrote about Saturday. Notre Dame safety Tom Zbikowski and a couple Notre Dame basketball players have all been cleared of any NCAA violations.

It all started when Zbikowski did a bump for a locally televised sports show called Sportz Dogs. A bump being just a short little,

"Hey I'm Tom Zbikowski, and I wanna send a shout out to all my boys back in the B-Grove. Tiny, C-Loose, Icepick, T-Bizzle, and Buttplug. Oh, and you're watching Sportz Dogs on WSBT. Peace!"

Technically, these things are an infraction of NCAA by-laws, so once the school became aware of the problem, it turned itself in.

"Technically, the issue did involve the players' eligibility, so we had to seek reinstatement. Between Tuesday at 5 p.m. and Wednesday evening, they were ineligible for competition. The NCAA determined that it was a secondary violation with no additional sanctions and no eligibility consequences for the student-athletes."

-Notre Dame Associate Athletic Director Mike Karwoski

So that means Irish fans can stop worrying, not that any of us really were. Tommy will be patrolling the secondary and returning punts for us in this, the year Notre Dame finally wins the BCS National Championship.

Baseball Tonight 8-24-06

Three games for you all to watch tonight while I watch the Sox/Tigers game I Tivo'd while at work this afternoon.

• Baltimore Orioles (56-70 4th AL East Mr. Anna Benson 10-9 4.63) vs. Minnesota Twins (73-52 3rd AL Central Boof Bonser 2-4 5.51)-I'm hoping the trend that's seen the Boofmeister go winless on the road this season continues. Really need the Twins to lose so the Sox can get some breathing room. Anna Benson's husband did pretty well in his last start against Toronto, and Baltimore has been playing well lately. They failed me last night, but I'm gonna try 'em again tonight, taking Baltimore. (7:05PM Est.)
  
• New York Mets (77-48 1st NL East Dave Williams 2-3 6.90) vs. St. Louis Cardinals (66-59 1st NL Central Jason Marquis 13-11 5.70)-The Mets are looking for a sweep over the free falling Cardinals. With a loss tonight and a Reds win in San Francisco the Reds and Redbirds will be tied for the NL Central lead. Jason Marquis won his last start agains the Cubs but was aided by 11 runs scored for him. Pujols has hit Williams pretty well in his career, but the way the Mets offense is going right now, it won't be enough. Takin' the Amazins. (ESPN2 7:10PM Est)
  
• Kansas City Royals (46-82 5th AL Central Mark Redman 7-8 5.79) vs. Cleveland Indians (57-68 4th AL Central C.C. Sabathia 8-8 3.29)-Only the Kansas City Royals could score 10 runs in the first inning and then lose a game. They squandered a 10-1 lead last night, losing to the Indians 15-13 in extra innings. Something tells me the Royals won't get anywhere near 13 runs tonight against Sabathia. Take the Indians. (8:10PM Est.)
  

Last Night: 2-1 (W-Mets Yankees L-Orioles)

Season: 57-48 (Season best 9 games over .500!)

Limping Away with a Victory

So the good news is the White Sox beat the Tigers Wednesday night, 7-5.

Unfortunately the bad news outweighs the good.

After hitting a missile into left center field, Jim Thome did his best Barbaro impression around first and came up with a tender hamstring. I don't think we're going to have to shoot Jimmy, but a lot of Sox fans may have wanted to blow their own heads off at the site of him limping off the field.

When you're going to have to fight tooth and nail to get into the playoffs and you feature a pitching staff that just loves to give up runs, it hurts to lose a guy with 36 HRs and 91 RBIs. Of course, there is some good that could come of it, as I'm sure Jermaine Dye will be taking Thome's place in the 3 hole of the lineup while Jimmy's out.

It was all part of my devious plan.

As for how long Thome's going to be out, nobody's exactly sure right now. Ozzie said he thinks he'll have his DH back by Friday against the Twins. Jimmy has no idea:

"I don't think it's a cramp because a cramp usually goes away. There's probably a strain in there. I've never had a hamstring injury. We'll think the best, re-evaluate it and do our best to get back as quick as possible."

-Jim Thome

That theory about cramps leads me to wonder if Jim took the right career path. He's obviously qualified to be a doctor.

There were other problems lurking within the victory.

Freddy Garcia got those runs he's been pissing and moaning about, and still almost lost the game. I'm getting really tired of the Sox taking a lead one inning, and then the pitching giving it all back the very next.

After a clutch (what new?) 2-out three run homer off the bat of Jermaine Dye in the top of the 1st inning, the Tigers got three right back in the bottom half. It wasn't all Freddy's fault though as Rob Mackowiak continues to struggle in center field. For Mackowiak, picking up fly balls is like like Lance Bass trying to pick up a hot chick: comical and utterly pointless in the end.

Luckily for Garcia and the Sox, Joey Clutch rode to the rescue yet again. In the second inning Crede pulled a curveball out of the left batter's box and at his shoetops over the left field wall with a swing that made Vladimir Guerrero blush. It was his 100th home run of his career.

A few innings later Joey hit the 101st of his career into left center. By the way, Tigers fans hate Joe Crede as much as Sox fans love him. Of his 101 career blasts, 20 have come against the Tigers.

Garcia would get pulled in the sixth inning with two Tigers on base, one out, and a 6-3 lead.

Matt Thornton came in and immediately gave up a 2-run double to Sean Casey, who's been absolutely raking since he put on a Tigers uniform. Personally I think Matty gave up the double just to piss Freddy off, cuz after that he was typical Thornton.

Once again, Thornton, Mike MacDougal, and Bobby Jenks would pitch 3.2 innings and give the Tigers nothing.

There has to be a way to just let those guys throw three innings apiece 4 out of every 5 games, and then let Garland pitch a game to give them all a rest, isn't there? I swear every game I'm praying for our starters to be in trouble in the 5th inning just so we can get the bullpen in there.

So, luckily, the White Sox were able to take advantage of Tigers starter Zach Miner, who only lasted 1.1 innings, but that leads me to my next point.

There's been a lot made over the White Sox struggles at the plate during the three games prior to tonight. There's the one side (the one I'm on), genuinely worried about how lethargic the offense has looked and the team as a whole.

Then there's the other side that brings up the fact the Sox have played against three of the AL's best pitchers in those three games; Johan Santana, Justin Verlander, and Kenny Rogers. They say, "It's not that we've sucked, it's that we've been facing great pitching."

Well that's EXACTLY what my concern is. Who in the hell are the White Sox going to be facing in the playoffs, if they make it? It's not going to be the pitchers from the Devil Rays and Royals. If you Sox fans need a refresher course on what happens to teams that can't hit good pitching in the playoffs, just try to remember what happened to the Red Sox, Angels and Astros in last year's postseason. I believe those three teams combined to go 1-11.

Tomorrow afternoon's game is a must win if the White Sox want to have a realistic shot to win the AL Central. Thankfully, Jon Garland is pitching. If the South Siders lose, they'll be 7.5 games out with only 36 left to play, and let's face it: The Sox will not be 8 games better than the Tigers in that span.

Baseball Tonight 8-23-06

Here are three games I'd rather watch than my White Sox right now.

• Baltimore Orioles (56-69 4th AL East Rodrigo Lopez 9-12 6.03) vs. Minnesota Twins (72-52 3rd AL Central Matt Garza 0-2 11.74)-The Twins weren't able to take advantage of the White Sox loss last night, getting beat by the Orioles 6-1. Tonight they start 22-year-old Matt Garza, Liriano's replacement, who hasn't exactly been good in his first two starts. In fact, he's been bad. Though I don't expect Nick Markakis to hit three more home runs, I'm gonna go ahead and say he gets one. Also, Rodrigo Lopez has been a much better pitcher in August than he had been all season. I'm taking the Orioles tonight, not so much cuz I believe in them, but more cuz I need them to win. (7:o5PM Est.)
• New York Mets (76-48 1st NL East Steve Trachsel 12-5 4.79) vs. St. Louis Cardinals (66-58 1st NL Central Mark Mulder 6-5 6.09)-With the Cardinals' record, the only other division in baseball that they could play in and still hold first place is the NL West. In fact, their 66-58 record would be good for only 4th in the AL East and Central, and third in the AL West. Which is to say, the Cardinals are just an average team. In fact, so average that they are only one game ahead of the Reds (the Reds and Astros are tied 2-2 in the 7th inning as I type this). Tonight, Mark Mulder returns from the DL to make his first start since getting annihilated by the Chicago White Sox for 9 runs in 2.1 IP, the game the Cardinals would lose 20-6. Meanwhile, the Mets are so bored with their divisional lead that last night they decided to spot the Cardinals a 7-1 lead before they started playing. Carlos Beltran would hit a walk off home run in the 9th to give the Mets an 8-7 win. The Mets win again tonight, but not in such a dramatic fashion. (7:10PM Est.)
• Seattle Mariners (57-68 4th AL West Felix Hernandez 10-11 4.50) vs. New York Yankees (75-49 1st AL East Chien-Ming Wang 14-5 3.86)-Last night's other walk off was when Adrian Beltre led off the 9th inning with a solo shot to give the Mariners a 6-5 victory, the first in their last 11 games. Tonight, though, the Yankees start Wang, and something tells me that a pitcher with a sinker as nice as his, pitching in cavernous Safeco Field can only help the Yankees. Especially when the Yankees face Hernandez, who's been hit around pretty good his last two starts. Yankees win....THE Yankees win. (10:05PM Est.)

Yesterday: 3-0 (W-Blue Jays Phillies Angels)

Season: 55-47

White Sox: Extreme Makeover Edition

Okay, I don't even want to talk about last night's White Sox/Tigers game. It was pretty fucking pathetic. If you want to read about it go here, but in a nutshell:

The Tigers played baseball last night and the White Sox didn't.

I'm not gonna complain about the fact that home plate Dan Iassogna had two completely different strike zones last night. I'll let Ozzie stick to doing that.

What I am going to complain about is the Sox' inability to suck it up and deal with it.

The difference between last year's team and this year's team is that last year the Sox wouldn't have given a shit about the umpire and played through it. This season's team just seems to want to bitch and moan at the umpire all night.

Also, I will always have a hard time understanding why the Sox have no problem hitting 97 MPH fastballs, but can't seem to hit 70 MPH changeups. So what if there's movement? When I was 5 years old and my dad tossed me underhand pitches. There was movement on those too, but it didn't stop me from hitting the ball.

For Chrissake, Kenny Rogers can't throw a ball over 85 MPH, so what the hell are you all in such a hurry for?

And do none of you notice how the Tigers have made a living off of us the last few days just poking the ball to the opposite field? Considering the fact they've outscored you 11-1, maybe you should.

But the White Sox biggest problem, as it has been all season, is their pitching. I can't fix that. All I can think of involves starting Mike MacDougal, Matt Thornton, and Bobby Jenks. That obviously isn't possible.

So the White Sox just have to accept that they're going to have to score five runs a game if they want to win regularly.

That's well within reach for the Sox but even with the best offense in the league, I still think some changes need to be made to the lineup. The current one worked well at the beginning of the year but that's cuz Jim Thome was out of his mind for the first month and a half.

Right now a little makeover might be just what they need:

1. Rob Mackowiak/Pablo Ozuna LF - Pods just isn't working out this season. Granted, Mackowiak isn't your prototypical leadoff hitter, but he's more capable of getting on base than Pods is right now. Ozuna could platoon against lefties.
2. Tadahito Iguchi 2B - Gooch has been hot/cold all season but he's still the Sox' best suited player for the 2 hole in the lineup. He seems to be the only one on the roster who can maintain his original game plan to stay up the middle and opposite field all the time.
3. Jermaine Dye RF - Thome's been in the 3 spot all year. For the first few months, while he was hitting over .300 and homering every other at-bat, it was fine. But as of now, Thome is striking out too much to be a #3 hitter, and also, is easily walked with a runner on 2nd to set up a double play with Konerko on deck. JD is the team's best hitter right now and that's who the #3 spot is typically reserved for. No team is going to pitch around JD to get to Thome. I am getting incredibly sick of seeing Podsednik and Iguchi left on base in the first inning lately, and I think moving Jermaine up in the lineup solves this problem. It also removes the opponent's ability to just bring a lefty in against Podsednik. Since Iguchi has struggled against lefties this season, other teams have gotten into the habit of bringing in a southpaw to face Pods, Iguchi and Thome. With JD lurking that's harder to do this cuz they then face the prospect of having JD face the lefty or letting Thome go against a righty.
4. Jim Thome DH - Thome is just more suitable for the cleanup spot. Plus with Konerko behind him it sets up the whole right-left-right in the middle of the order.
5. Paul Konerko 1B - Konerko hasn't really done anything to deserve a demotion from the cleanup spot, it's just for the symmetry of the R-L-R. Also in the 5 spot it's more likely Paulie comes up with runners in scoring position, which generally makes him focus more on taking the ball back through the middle instead of turning on everything.
6. A.J. Pierzynski C - If AJ could learn to just go to with the pitch to left field all the time he'd probably still be hitting around .325. As it is he's still hitting over .300, which comes in handy in this spot for two reasons: if there are runners on base, AJ can drive the runs in; if he's leading off an inning or there's one out he gets on base for Joe Crede behind him.
7. Joe Crede 3B - It's nice to have a guy hitting .300 with 25 HR and 80 RBI batting 7th in your lineup. Joe tends to get a lot of clutch hits late, so it never hurts to have him down here if at the end of a game the Sox are in the lower part of the lineup.
8. Alex Cintron SS - This isn't just due to Juan Uribe's year long struggles at the plate. It's also thanks in part to Juan's lack of focus in the field this season. Cintron isn't exactly a big drop-off defensively and he's a much better hitter than Uribe right now, especially in late inning situations, which the Sox sorely need.
9. Brian Anderson CF - Brian is really just for defense, even though his bat is starting to come around. If Ozzie still wants to give him days off against tough righties, he can move Mackowiak to center and keep him in the leadoff spot while playing Pods in left and having him bat 9th. That way if Pods does get on base you have a speed threat on with some of your best contact guys coming up to the plate.