Hang Ten

A quick look around the interweb while trying to avoid the gay train wreck that is Deadspin today.

1. What are your favorite athletes dressing up as for Halloween? [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
2. Drew Brees has mommy issues. Maybe he blames her for that freakish mole on his face? [With Leather]
3. Your weekly Monster of the Midway [Bears NFL Fanhouse]
4. Bill Belicheck's son loves the sweet ganja. [The Big Lead]
5. James is pretty sure that he's going to win our Foul Balls HORSE competiton. [Fleece the Pig, Flog the Pony]
6. The Basketball Jones podcast needs your help! I subscribe to it, you should too. [The Basketball Jones]
7. This was the only thing on Deadspin today worth reading, and that's because it was written by the guys at Free Darko. Since the Bulls are playing the Heat tonight, we found it appropriate. [Deadspin]
8. Shawne Merriman is giving up the appeal of his suspension. No word on whether he's giving up steroids. [ESPN]
9. Much like this season, Jeff Bagwell will not be playing for the Houston Astros next season. [Fox Sports]
10. We at Foul Balls are very excited to introduce to you a new blog. It is the work of our wonderful, underappreciated editor Panger. She's always kept a political blog over at Petulant Times, but now she enters the wonderful world of sports blogging with 28 Days. [28 Days]

We Do This for the Love of the Blog

But that doesn't mean we don't like free swag once in a while!

So when we got an email from Sprint today, we were purty excited. In it we were informed that Sprint will be sending us a free phone to use for 6 months, with all the trimmings. All we gotta do is answer a form for feedback on the service afterward.

Here's what they actually said.

"The Sprint Ambassador Program is all about exploring our latest products and services and allows you to give direct feedback to Sprint. We recently launched Sprint NFL Mobile content and want to provide you with the full experience, at no charge. Sprint NFL Mobile enables you to track your players, earn bragging rights, and become a fantasy football fiend.So what’s the deal?As a qualified participant, we will send you one Sprint Power Vision (mobile broadband) phone and provide you with 6 months of all-access service (at no charge). In addition to NFL Mobile, you’ll have access to the Sprint Music Store, live TV broadcasts, gaming, and more. Yes, you will also have unlimited free calling and data service. It’s a pretty good deal and all we ask for in return is your candid feedback (you decide how much and how often)."

This is the phone we're getting, a Fusic LG 550.

You also may have noticed the new banner at the top of the page, and along the side for Busted Tees. Feel free to click on those banners and peruse their wonderful selection of t-shirts from time to time. Their shirts are guaranteed to get you laid. Seriously.

And Introducing - Foul Balls HORSE 10-31-06

You all may remember our Baseball Tonight feature during the MLB regular season in which we picked three games a night. Then, in the playoffs I was challenged by Panger, a challenge I won.

Well, we enjoyed it just a little bit, and decided we'd like to expand the concept. So with the NBA season starting tonight, we came up with the idea to have the same competition for basketball. There are some changes, though.

It's still a competition, but no longer just between Panger and me. Nope, now we've invited two good friends of ours here at Foul Balls. Jeeves from the Chi-Sox Blog, and James from Fleece the Pig, Flog the Pony and Chi-Sox Blog to join us.

There are also some changes to scoring. We'll keep track of W-L records, but the contest will be based on points. Here are the ground rules:

• Each day will consist of 3 games (or less depending on schedule that day) for each contestant to choose from.
• Each contestant will choose the winner of the game. For every game they get correct, they earn 1 point.
• There is one Double Down allowed per day. What that means is that any contestant can choose a game in which they want to Double Down. If they pick the correct winner, they get 2 points. However, if they choose wrong, they lose 1 point. Contestants do not have to Double Down on any games if they choose not to.

Tonight there are two games for the four of us to choose from.

Miami Heat (0-0 Atlantic Division) vs. Chicago Bulls (0-0 Central Division)-The NBA season starts off with the defending champions facing the team that probably gave them more trouble in the playoffs last season than anybody. It's also the first game in which the Bulls will get to show off their big offseason free agent signing, Ben Wallace. (TNT 8:00PM Est.)

• Fornelli's pick-Chicago
• Panger's pick- Miami (Boooo!! Hiss!!!!)
• Jeeves' pick-Chicago (Double Down)
• James' pick-Chicago (Double Down)

Los Angeles Lakers (0-0 Pacific Division) vs. Phoenix Suns (0-0 Pacific Division)-It's a rematch of a first round playoff series in which Phoenix held off the Lakers in 7 games. Is this the year in which the Suns finally get over the hump and make the NBA Finals with their high scoring offense? Also it's possible that Kobe Bryant will not be playing for the Lakers. (TNT 10:30PME Est.)

• Fornelli's pick-Phoenix (Double Down)
• Panger's pick- Phoenix
• Jeeves' pick- Phoenix
• James' pick- LA Lakers

If You Can't Take the Heat, Get Rid of the Kinchen

I'm sure you all remember our post yesterday about ESPNU's Brian Kinchen.

Well, Brian won't be working any games this weekend. Said ESPN's Josh Krulewitz (making a record two appearances on Foul Balls today!),

“The comments were inappropriate and we apologize. He will not appear on our air this weekend and his future appearance schedule is under review.”

Kinchen, now that he's been suspended, is obviously sorry about the whole thing too.

“I sincerely apologize for my extremely poor choice of words. They were completely inappropriate and not at all a reflection of who I am or of the way I perform my work. I have learned from my mistake and look forward to continuing my broadcasting career.”

Personally we find the whole thing to be, well, kinda gay.

Tommy the Dago Presents: Fearless NBA Predictions

Why do we post these things at the start of a sport's season? Is it so, at the end of the year, we can look back on our predictions and see just how horribly ignorant we were/are? No. It's so we can find that one thing we got right, and gloat about it.

"Did you see the Charlotte Bobcats win the Southeast Division? Yeah, we called that."

You say something like that at the bar, and then you just relax and watch the ladies fight over you. It's a beautiful thing.

Oh, and we also like to keep our predictions void of any actual reasoning behind them. We find analysis takes time, time we could be using to find stupid YouTube videos to post here.

Onto the fearless predicting!! (* denotes playoff team)

EASTERN CONFERENCE

ATLANTIC DIVISION

1. New Jersey Nets *
2. Boston Celtics *
3. Toronto Raptors
4. New York Knicks
5. Philadelphia 76ers

CENTRAL DIVISION

1. Chicago Bulls *
2. Detroit Pistons *
3. Cleveland Cavaliers *
4. Milwaukee Bucks
5. Indiana Pacers

SOUTHEAST DIVISION

1. Miami Heat *
2. Orlando Magic *
3. Washington Wizards *
4. Charlotte Bobcats
5. Atlanta Hawks

WESTERN CONFERENCE

NORTHWEST DIVISION

1. Utah Jazz *
2. Denver Nuggets *
3. Minnesota Timberwolves
4. Seattle Sonics
5. Portland Blazers

PACIFIC DIVISION

1. Phoenix Suns *
2. LA Clippers *
3. Golden State Warriors *
4. LA Lakers *
5. Sacramento Kings

SOUTHWEST DIVISION

1. Dallas Mavericks *
2. San Antonio Spurs *
3. New Oreans/Oklahoma City Hornets
4. Houston Rockets
5. Memphis Grizzlies

CONFERENCE FINALS

• East: Heat over Bulls
• West: Spurs over Clippers

NBA FINALS

• Spurs over Heat

The Captain is Locked Up

As you're going to learn soon, we're pretty excited about the Bulls season starting tonight. You know what got us even more excited though?

Kirk Hinrich signed a new 5-year deal with the Bulls last night.

"League sources said the deal is worth $47.5 million and starts in the 2007-08 season at roughly $7.8 million. The deal will pay Hinrich approximately $11.42 million during its final season in 2011-2012."

It was the Bulls' final offer before last night's 11:59 PM league deal deadline. Had the two sides not been able to reach an agreement, Hinrich would have become a restricted free agent at season's end.

Maybe it was just love of playing in Chicago or maybe it was the fact that his most likely destination next season would have been Milwaukee. Whatever the reason, we're happy with it.

I'm reeeeeeeich beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeitch!

Hinrich's an invaluable asset to this team both on the court and off. He's a leader, and basically coach Scott Skiles' doppelganger on the court.

The deal works out well for Hinrich also in the fact that when the contract expires, he'll only be 31, and have another contract left in him before retiring.

NFL Week 8 Recaps - The Bears Just Scored 3 More Touchdowns While We Wrote This Headline

We are oh so grateful for our Chicago Bears. If not for them, we'd be forced to confront the fact that we are having what's by far our worst season ever picking games.

Sure, it's the first year we've done on Foul Balls, but we've always been in office pools and stuff before this. We've finished below .500 before, but only a few games. This season if we're a few games below .500 each week we feel good about it.

Onto the bloodletting.

Titans 28 Texans 22
There were a few games this week in which teams QB's didn't even throw for 100 yards, yet their team still won. It's what's commonly referred to as "The Kyle Orton Offense" that the Bears used to great success last season. This was one of those games. Vince Young only threw for 87 yards, but ran for 44 and a touchdown. David Carr was pulled by the Texans, which made Sage Rosenfels the game's most prolific passer. Too bad they weren't showing this one here! (My pick: Texans +3 Loss)

Jaguars 13 Eagles 7
After this game we're really starting to question how good the Eagles actually are. In our season preview we picked em to win the NFC East, and were quietly appreciative of their hot start. Now they're 4-4, and it doesn't look like they're gonna catch the Giants anytime soon. Donovan McNabb sucked in this game, and has many Eagles fans and fantasy owners truly pissed off at him right now. The Jaguars were "led" by David Gerrard, who like Vince Young, threw for only 87 yards in his team's victory. (My pick: Eagles -7 Loss)

Falcons 29 Bengals 27
Of course the QB who isn't supposed to throw as much as run had his second consecutive Marino-esque game. Mike Vick threw for 290 yards and 3 TD's to give him 7 TD's in the last two weeks. This was much like the Falcons/Steelers game. One of the more entertaining options this week. As for Ocho Cinco, the Falcons roughed him up a bit, but he did make a touchdown catch and gets to keep that golden mohawk. (My pick: Bengals -3.5 Loss)

Giants 17 Buccaneers 3
The Giants kept on rolling in the Barber Brothers Civil War. They didn't get too much offense this week, but it wasn't needed, anyway. The Giants are the team I think the Bears lose their first game of the year to, in two weeks on Sunday Night Football. (My pick: Buccaneers +9 Loss)

Bears 41 49ers 10
I don't know how the Bears convinced the NFL offices to let them schedule a game against a high school team in the middle of the season, but I think a lot more franchises are gonna try it now. This game was one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. (My pick: Bears -16 Win Best Bet)

Packers 31 Cardinals 14
Brett Favre reminded young Matt he was sporting that stubble long before Leinart ever nailed his first girl. The Packers had two rushers go over 100 yards (Ahman Green 106 Vernand Morency 101) and Brett Favre finished off what was a strong October for him. (My pick: Packers -4 Win)

Chiefs 35 Seahawks 28
Larry Johnson is back. After a pretty so-so start to the season, LJ scored four touchdowns this week against Seattle. The problem for the Chiefs, how bad is their defense if they're giving up 28 points to the Seneca Wallace and the Seahawks? We know the Seahawks defense is bad; they've given up at least 28 points in their last 4 games. Lots of people are asking what happened to this defense since last year. It's pretty simple, really. Last year the Seahawks were jumping out to leads on teams early, forcing opponents to rely on the pass. So their D only had to pin their ears back and rush the passer. This year they're falling behind, and the defense is being exposed. (My pick: Chiefs -6 Win Best Bet)

Ravens 35 Saints 22
This was an ugly game. There were 6 turnovers (5 by the Saints) and the Ravens jumped out to an early 21-0 lead. It was over from there. I'm still not convinced about this Ravens team just yet, even though this was a pretty good game for them. The Saints played like we thought they should have played the first 6 games of the season. (My pick: Saints -1.5 Loss)

Chargers 38 Rams 24
Ladainian Tomlinson is still the man. He had another outstanding game rushing for 183 yards and 2 touchdowns as the Chargers put the wood to St. Louis. On the defensive side of the ball, Shawne Merriman took his "supplements" before the game and sacked Marc Bulger three times. He then ripped his heart out and ate it while the San Diego crowd cheered. (My pick: Chargers -9.5 Win)

Raiders 20 Steelers 13
The Raiders have won two games in a row. In other news, peace has been declared in the Middle East, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and George Bush have brunch together, and hell has frozen over. Talk about a fall from grace for the Steelers. They've gone from Super Bowl champions to having the same record as the Raiders, 2-5. (My pick: Steelers -9 Loss)

Browns 20 Jets 13
We have Reuben Droughns on our fantasy team, and he's been riding the bench all season. This week we started Deuce McAllister even though he was going against Baltimore. McAllister ran for 15 yards. Droughns had 125 yards and a touchdown. The lesson here is that no matter who it is, if you have a RB on your team going against the Jets, he's a must start. Thankfully we won our game anyway. (My pick: Jets +1.5 Loss Best Bet)

Colts 34 Broncos 31
Peyton Manning has done it again, leading his team on a last-minute game- winning drive. We learned this week that the Broncos defense is good, but they aren't that good. Champ Bailey shut down Marvin Harrison, but Manning just picked on Darrent Williams all day instead as Reggie Wayne finished the game with 10 catches for 138 yards, and three touchdowns. (My pick: Colts +2.5 Win)

Cowboys 35 Panthers 14
Everybody in Dallas is now a Romosexual. This much was evident after the game when coach Bill Parcells was kissing any man that came within 3 feet of him. As disturbing as those visuals were, Cowboy fans didn't care after seeing new starter Tony Romo throw for 270 yards and a touchdown, all while avoiding the Bledsoe Back Breaking Interception that they'd become used to seeing. (My pick: Panthers -6 Loss)

Patriots 31 Vikings 7
Tom Brady does not care about your loud ass dome! The Patriots just dominated this game, their only mistake being the Vikings punt return for a touchdown. (My pick: Vikings +2.5 Loss)

Week 8

• Overall: 5-9
• Best Bets: 2-1

Season

• Overall: 36-56-6
• Best Bets: 11-12-1

Revenge is a Dish Best Served in Court

You remember Harold Reynolds, right? Our favorite longtime analyst on ESPN's Baseball Tonight.

Then I'm sure you also remember Harold getting fired by ESPN for sexual harrassment at the end of July. Well, now Harold is going to get his revenge for what he feels was an undeserved punishment.

Reynolds is taking his former employer to court.

"I have tried everything possible to handle this situation quietly behind closed doors. After numerous conversations and multiple mediation discussions with ESPN executives, it is clear that ESPN had no intention of solving this problem amicably. For 11 years, I served ESPN with enthusiasm and dedication. It is unfortunate that ESPN has handled this process in an unprofessional manner. At the end of the day, my integrity, reputation and family are my top priorities, and for those reasons I need to set the record straight and clear my name."

We hope Harold wins his case. We weren't very happy when he lost his job, as he was the only person on Baseball Tonight besides Karl Ravech and Peter Gammons who we wouldn't like to see killed.

Fire John Kruk.

Fire Jeff Brantley.

Fire Steve Phillips.

Fire Orestes Destrade.

Fire everybody but Ravech, Gammons and Reynolds! They're all we ever really needed.

So he tried to get a little play from some of the ladies working in the studio.

So what?

If you were forced to sit between John Kruk and Steve Phillips for an hour, you'd run after the first woman you saw too, it's only natural.

Of course ESPN doesn't want Reynolds to win his case, nor do they think he will. In the words of spokesman Josh Krulewitz,

"The suit is without merit. We stand by our decision and have no further comment now that litigation has begun."

Them's fightin' words!!

(Update: As always, the Smoking Gun has come up with a copy of the complaint.)

The Chicago Bulls - A Key Part of the Nuclear Family

The Bulls' season kicks off tonight against the defending champion Miami Heat but I have some advice for Shaq and Dwayne Duane Dwyane Wade.

I wouldn't mess with the Bulls tonight or ever for that matter. And it's not the presence of Ben Wallace in the middle.

It's not just for your safety, either. It's for our entire country. Check out this little tidbit from Sam Smith's Monday column in the Chicago Tribune:

"Though it's not part of the NBA's advertising campaign, it's widely known around the league office that North Korean leader Kim Jong Il is an avid NBA fan with a preference for the Bulls. His sons have been spotted wearing Bulls jerseys on their regulation courts at the presidential palace."

Mess with the Bulls and Kimmy Boy is bound to blow the country to hell.

Yes, I would prease rike a Ben Warrish jelsey!

We're guessing Michael Jordan is largely responsible for this. His worldwide fame is the only reasonable explanation as to why the insane Oriental Don King wise and handsome leader even knows what the NBA is.

Maybe if we give him courtside season tickets he'll reconsider that whole building nuclear ("It's nucular.") weapons thing? It couldn't hurt, right?

Oh, and Osama Bin Laden? Huge Bears fan.

Hang Ten

A look around the interweb while we try to figure out if life is still a journey we wish to travel after opening our copy of the Chicago Sun-Times and seeing that Jay Mariotti wrote the exact same thing we did about Brian Urlacher this morning.

1. Since we've been fed about 4 Cardinals posts a day at Deadspin, we're well aware how Cardinals fans feel but what about Tigers fans? [Sports N' Spice]
2. Speaking of Mr. Leitch....I don't care if your Cardinals just won the World Series, there is no excuse for white people dancing. [With Leather]
3. The Sunday Afternoon Smorgasbord always leaves us feeling fulfilled. [The Mighty MJD]
4. Lord of the Rings nerds like basketball too. That and wearing costumes, so I guess tomorrow is one big orgasmic experience for them. [Fleece the Pig, Flog the Pony]
5. Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas is one of our favorite athletes, and the reasons for his quirky behavior are starting to become more apparent. Even if you don't like the guy, go ahead and read this article. [The Big Lead]
6. Keep an eye on your dog if Tony LaRussa is around. [Deadspin]
7. The 49ers still don't think the Bears are that good. Of course, they're 2-6, so they probably don't know what good looks like. [Chicago Tribune]
8. If they show up at any of my ex-girlfriends' houses I bet $20 she'll say "Eh, I've seen bigger." [10,000 Takes]
9. We're not sure if a black cat crossed CA's path while he wrote this, or if he typed it while under a ladder. [Ron Karkovice Fan Club]
10. Ranking the NBA's Eastern Conference. We're very excited by the start of tomorrow night's Bulls, and NBA season. Be sure to check out our new contest tomorrow. It should be fun. [Blog-A-Bull]

A special extra bonus link for you all, as we just found this out now. (We weren't around the computer or TV all day) It looks like Mark Buehrle won't get to be a Cardinal next year after all!

Not That There's Anything Wrong with That

ESPNU announcer Brian Kinchen has some good advice for young kids, and well, anybody in general. During Saturday's Iowa victory over Northern Illinois, he gave some advice on catching a pass.

"Caress the ball."

He then realized what some of the more immature types (why's everybody pointing at us?) might think of that statement, and he was hit with a sudden realization.

Is it really gay to caress the ball? What if it's a girl ball? Is it still gay then?

What if it's your ball? I mean isn't caressing the ball what most teenage boys spend every free minute doing? Does that make all teenagers gay?

There's a lot of questions here that need to be answered, folks.

Foul Balls Top 25: Week 9

Well, thanks to Oregon State, the poll here at Foul Balls looks just like every single other poll in the country when it comes to #1 and #2.

Make no mistake about it, there's a bias here at Foul Balls, especially when it comes to the USC Trojans. We were delighted to see them lose on Saturday to the Beavers. It made us giddy.

Of course, it also presented us with the problem of replacing the Trojans in our Top 5.

Normally we would just bump up #6, in this case Louisville. But we don't much respect the Big East Conference when it comes to football. Basketball yes, football no. So, if we bump the Cardinals up to #5, that would give us two Big East teams in our Top 5, something we aren't too comfortable with.

Our option, #7 Auburn. No stranger to our Top 5, Auburn spent the first five weeks of the season as our #2. The problem with the Tigers is they just didn't look like a Top 5 team against Ole Miss this weekend. Sure, they won but had to struggle to do it.

After Auburn, there was #8 Notre Dame. Now trust us, there's nothing we'd love to do more than put our Irish back in the Top 5. I mean they beat the crap out of Navy, 38-14. Of course, the problem there is that it's Navy. Not exactly elite competition.

How about Tennessee? Pretty impressive to go into Columbia and beat the Gamecocks 24-17 on Saturday night. Still, it's hard to justify letting the Vols jump four spots over three other teams that didn't lose.

With Florida it's the same problem, jumping five spots over four teams.

So who did we decide? Read on.

TOP 5

1. Ohio State 9-0 (1) W 44-0 vs. Minnesota - Ohio State has reached the JV portion of their schedule but unlike almost every other team this season, they aren't having a problem with it. There haven't been any close calls or near upsets. Ohio State has been in charge of every game the minute they step on the field. We're just counting down the weeks until the Michigan game. (Next game: @Illinois)

2. Michigan 9-0 (3) W 17-3 vs. Northwestern - It was a pretty miserable day on Saturday, so I guess we can forgive the Wolverines for only beating Northwestern by 14. Michigan benefits from USC's loss, and takes over the #2 spot. We're just counting down the weeks until the Ohio State game. (Next game: vs. Ball State)

3. West Virginia 7-0 (4) BYE - The Mountaineers got a week off, and get to move up a spot in the rankings. I hope they chose to spend their time off wisely cuz on Saturday they have a pretty important game to play in Kentucky. (Next game: @Louisville)

4. Texas 8-1 (5) W 35-31 @ Texas Tech - What is it with Texas/Texas Tech games? Is there a rule that states no defense shall be played? Tech QB Graham Harrell had 365 yards passing at halftime. The Longhorns hadn't given up that many yards passing in a game this season. Oh, and the Longhorns also trailed 31-21 at that point. They played defense in the second half, shutting out the Red Raiders, and completing the comeback. (Next game: vs. Oklahoma State)

5. Louisville 7-0 (6) BYE-Okay, okay, we did it. We now have two Big East teams in the Top 5. Still, there's only one reason we made this choice. Deciding between the other candidates was too difficult, and since Louisville plays West Virginia this weekend, one of them has to lose and, therefore, won't be here next week. (Next game: vs. West Virginia)

THE REST

6. Florida (11) W 21-14 vs. Georgia
7. Auburn 8-1 (7) W 23-17 @Mississippi
8. Tennessee 7-1 (9) W 31-24 @South Carolina
9. Notre Dame 7-1 (8) W 38-14 @Navy
10. Cal 7-1 (10) BYE
11. USC (2) L 33-31 @Oregon State
12. Arkansas 7-1 (14) W 44-10 vs. Louisiana Monroe
13. LSU 6-2 (13) BYE
14. Boston College 7-1 (15) W 41-0 vs. Buffalo
15. Rutgers 8-0 (16) W 24-13 vs. UConn
16. Wisconsin 8-1 (17) W 30-24 vs. Illinois
17. Oklahoma 6-2 (19) W 26-10 @ Missouri
18. Boise State 8-0 (18) BYE
19. Georgia Tech 6-2 (23) W 30-23 vs. Miami
20. Oregon 6-2 (22) W 55-12 vs. Portland State
21. Virginia Tech 6-2 (25) W 24-7 vs. Clemson
22. Clemson 7-2 (12) L 24-7 @ Virginia Tech
23. Texas A&M 8-1 (UR) W 31-21 vs. Baylor
24. Wake Forest 7-1 (24) W 24-17 vs. North Carolina
25. Tulsa 7-1 (UR) W 30-20 vs. UTEP

Dropped from rankings: Missouri, Nebraska.

Don't Drink the Hater-ade

So the Bears are 7-0 now, thanks to a 41-10 decimation of the 49ers at Soldier Field.

But that's not what we're here to talk about.

See, despite laughing our way through what appeared to be a Bears scrimmage against an overmatched high school team, we've had something on our minds all weekend. Something that's been bugging us.

For the second time in three years a major publication has polled NFL players asking who they believe is the most overrated player in the league.

Two years ago in a poll published by The Sporting News, players picked Brian Urlacher.

This year, players polled by Sports Illustrated picked Terrell Owens. But who's in second?

Brian Urlacher.

Maybe we misunderstand the concept of being overrated. Looking in the dictionary to doublecheck, we read:

Okay, we still don't understand how Brian Urlacher fits that description.

Did anyone see the Bears game against the Cardinals a few weeks ago on Monday Night Football? You know, the game where the Bears trailed 23-3 late, and then #54 literally took over and led the Bears to a 24-23 win?

I do believe Urlacher had 25 tackles in that game.

That's right, 25 tackles.

How about yesterday?

Did you see the play where he blitzed Alex Smith, batted Smith's pass up into the air and then, as he was being pushed to the ground, managed to make a one-armed interception?

Kinda like that one-armed interception he made against the Panthers in the playoffs last season.

So exactly how in the hell can anybody say this guy is overrated?

"Bunch of haters, in my opinion,"
-Bears Defensive Coordinator Ron Rivera

He's right.

Could the simple fact be that the majority of players being polled are just, dare we say, jealous?

It's not hard to imagine. I mean, who in the NFL wouldn't want to be 6 feet 4 inches, 258 pounds, and run a 4.5 40 yard dash?

Urlacher has skills that are out of this world. When you look at his game, it's pretty hard to find a weakness.

He can blitz the quarterback.

He can stuff the run.

He can drop into pass coverage and cover any position on the field, whether receiver, running back or tight end.

The one slight against Urlacher that actually had merit was his inability sometimes to get off of blockers. Watch any Bears game now and you'll see that isn't a problem anymore.

He has no weakness.

We have to wonder what the results would be if the coaches, not players, were being polled. Try finding a defensive coordinator in the NFL who wouldn't want Brian Urlacher playing middle linebacker for them.

What does Urlacher think of all this you ask?

"I don't care. Watch the film. I don't know what people are saying. All I can do is go out there and play hard and try to help my team win."

It's not just Urlacher who players seem to think is overrated. There is also some talk that the Bears' defense as a whole is overrated, an accusation that actually does seem to bother Brian.

"No one expects us to do what we do. No one wants to give us any credit. Everyone wants to say [opponents] didn't play well. There's a reason [opponents] didn't play well."

That reason is Brian Urlacher and the rest of his teammates.

Maybe it's the polls that are overrated.

Still Figuring This Out

We don't want to disrespect the St. Louis Cardinals but we have no idea how in the hell this team won a World Series.

Seriously, what the hell?

I could understand if Albert Pujols stepped up and put the entire team on his back and carried them there. That wouldn't be so shocking. But it didn't happen that way. Pujols got progressively worse throughout the playoffs, and in fact had an abysmal World Series by his standards. Look for yourselves:

• Division Series: .333 (5/15) 1HR 3RBI
• LCS: .318 (7/22) 1HR 1RBI
• World Series: .200 (3/15) 1HR 2RBI

So if it wasn't Pujols, it had to be Chris Carpenter, right? He just had to pitch every day and this team had itself a chance.

Carpenter was fantastic, that much is true, but it was his two counterparts in the "rotation" who shocked everybody. Jeff Suppan went 1-1 in 4 starts with a 2.49 ERA. Jeff Weaver, who was released in Anaheim for his kid brother, went 3-2 in 5 starts with a 2.43 ERA.

Both Suppan and Weaver had better ERA's than Carpenter.

Taking Pujols' place in the lineup was Scott Rolen, David Eckstein, Jim Edmonds, and Yadier Molina. Molina was the biggest shock of them all. He hit .216 in the regular season (the lowest average for a position player to start a Series game in twenty years) but managed to hit .358 during the playoffs, including the home run that sent the Cardinals to the World Series.

So the Cardinals managed to win only 83 games during the regular season, a record that would have earned them no higher than third place in any other division, fourth place in the AL East or Central. Yet they beat a team that won 97 games (Mets) to get to the World Series and a team that won 95 games (Tigers) to win that World Series.

Did they get help along the way? Of course they did. The Cardinals share responsibilty for winning the World Series with the Tigers' free swinging hitters and errant throwing pitchers.

Was it the greatest World Series of all time?

No.

Are the Cardinals the greatest team of all time?

God, no.

Does any of that matter?

Nope.

No matter what we want to say about this last few weeks, this World Series was just another example why baseball really is our greatest game. Anything can happen, and anybody can win. For the seventh consecutive season we have a new champion.

No matter what we believe about the superiority of our favorite team (in three games the White Sox outscored St. Louis 34-11 in a June sweep) or whether the Cardinals were even the best team in this World Series, there is absolutely nothing anybody can do to take away what the St. Louis Cardinals did on Friday night.

Congratulations, St. Louis, even if we still have no idea just how you did it.

While You Were Drinking

A recap of what you may have missed this weekend

• Your 2006 Champions - The Cardinals shocked the world and beat the Tigers 4-2 on Friday night in St. Louis to win their first World Series in 24 years. Jeff Weaver was out of his mind, and David Eckstein won the World Series MVP award as the streets of St. Louis ran red with Cardinals fans.
• Where would he go? - In case you missed it, Barry Bonds filed for free agency after the World Series ended. I can understand that he wants to explore his options, but where would he go? Outside of San Francisco he's despised. So if he wants to DH, that leaves Oakland but with the year Frank Thomas (who also filed for free agency, along with Nomar) just had, I can't see the A's wanting to do that. The Yankees? With Sheffield, Giambi, and Bonds, could we just change their name to Team BALCO?
• I'm a winner - The Baseball Tonight contest between Panger and I came to a conclusion with the end of the World Series, and the proud winner of the contest was yours truly. The Franchise is Fornelli, and Fornelli is the Franchise. I am now also rocking my prize, a Tommie Harris jersey. Thanks for the free money, Panger!
• Pudding pops for all! - Bill Cosby's Alma Mater, Temple, won its first football game since November 13th, 2004. That's 20 losses in a row. The Owls beat the Bowling Green Falcons 28-14.
• A legend died - Legendary Celtics coach Red Auerbach died Saturday at his home of a heart attack. Auerbach won 9 NBA titles as head coach of the Celtics, and also helped put together 7 more championship Celtics teams in the 70's and 80's.
• Tony Stewart wins in Atlanta - But since he isn't in the Chase for the Nextel Cup race, it doesn't actually mean anything. What does matter is that Jimmie Johnson moved to within 26 points of Chase leader Matt Kenseth with only three races left.

Laugher at Soldier Field

So it's pretty apparent that if anybody in the NFC wants to get to the Super Bowl, they better pray that the Bears don't get homefield advantage in the playoffs.

Another game at home, another dominant win.

It was 41-0 at halftime, people!! HALFTIME!!!

The 49ers spent the whole day bent over grabbing their ankles but they are from San Francisco, so they're probably used to that kind of stuff.

The Foulest of Our Balls

Another week has come to an end at Foul Balls. What glorious times we had!! Here's the "best" of the last 7 days.

• Donovan McNabb just cannot handle his liquor.
• We weren't too happy with the way the Shawne Merriman story got buried by the crap on Kenny Rogers' hand.
• Does my dad not love me as much if he never pulled a gun on one of my coaches?
• Joe Girardi would much rather sit at home on his couch in his underwear eating Cheetos.
• What do Francisco Liriano, Mel Gibson, and Pete Doherty have in common?
• I hear we're going to be named Godfather.
• Chad Johnson chadiano regresa y él celebra la herencia española.
• We are now some of Tiki Barber's biggest fans.
• Your tax dollars at work America.
• Help us make the world a better place for the children.

Eating Cardinal

It's no secret that we here at Foul Balls thought the Cardinals didn't have a shot in hell of winning the World Series. I also know that we aren't alone.

There was a sign held by Cardinals fans last night that read, "The Experts are Idiots." Well, we're no experts here, but we are idiots.

Congratulations to the Cardinals, keep that trophy warm for our White Sox, would ya?

We'll write a full recap of what we think happened on Monday but it's pretty apparent that the Tigers need one more bat in that lineup. (Along with bigger gloves for their 1st and 3rd baseman to catch errant throws from pitchers.) Well, it looks like there is one bat available for the right price.

And we don't mean for him, we mean your soul.

Hang Ten

A look around the interweb

1. Mark Buehrle is at the World Series again. But does he want to go back as a member of the White Sox? [Rivalfish]
2. Introducing Lou Piniella's replacement. [Fleece the Pig, Flog the Pony]
3. What do Notre Dame fans and gay men have in common? We all love Brady Quinn. [Deadspin]
4. Looks like I won't be watching Monday Night Football this week. [The Big Lead]
5. You've been a bad boy, Smokey! [The Mighty MJD]
6. It's time for some Bochy Ball in San Francisco. [SFGiants.com]
7. Can I get that rat super-sized? [SI.com]
8. Is this good news for Illini fans who are still nursing broken hearts courtesy of Eric Gordon? [Mark Tupper]
9. If I played golf, I would want to play for NYU. [With Leather]
10. Breaking News: I'm starting to wonder if maybe I should change my Eagles/Jaguars pick. The Jags just got better. [ESPN]

Baseball Tonight - World Series Game 5

Hey, look, a Tigers pitcher just threw a ball away. Somebody please explain to us how the 83-79 St. Louis Cardinals can be up 3-1, just one win away from a championship, with Albert Pujols a paltry 2/12 in this series.

It just doesn't make any sense, people.

Also, as for those writing about that the World Series should be moved to a warmer climate (hello, Mariotti), please shut up. For the first time in ten years rain postpones a World Series game and you morons are writing about it as if it is a huge problem with the sport.

I know it caused for an extremely slow news day in sports, but when that happens, just do what we at Foul Balls do. Make up completely ridiculous stories.

Anyway, onto the baseball.

TOM'S PICK

• St. Louis Cardinals (10-5 Jeff Weaver 2-2 2.91) vs. Detroit Tigers (8-4 Justin Verlander 1-1 7.47) St Louis leads series 3-1-It's one thing if the Cardinals end the American League's dominance and beat the Tigers, but they can't do it this easily, can they? Look at last night's game. Every single break went the Cardinals way. The Tigers played well; they just made a couple mistakes. Granderson slipped on the wet grass, Craig Monroe had to play a little shallow to have a chance to throw out a runner and as a result let Eckstein's double go just off the tip of his glove, and Fernando Rodney had seen so many Tigers' pitchers make throwing errors, he thought he was supposed to throw that ball down the right field line. Still, there's only one thing I need to know when picking this game tonight. That's the fact that lifelong Cardinals fan Will Leitch will be at the game, and the Cardinals are 0-7 when he has made an appearance at their games this season. The last game he went to? Wednesday's Game 4. You know, the first rainout in 10 years of a World Series game. So we're gonna go out on a limb, and ride the Deadspin Curse, to take the Tigers to extend this series. (Also, we fail to mention that the Tigers were down 3-1 to St. Louis in 1968 too, and they won that series in 7.) (FOX 8:27PM Est.)

PANGER'S PICK

• Cardinals vs. Tigers-I want to pick the Tigers, I really do. Besides, I'm a Cubs fan which means, of course, I hate the Cardinals.(Did I mention seeing Lou Brock at the game last night started me drinking again?) Inside though, there's this gnawing feeling that I'm going to have to watch those evil Red birds celebrating tonight. CARDINALS. (and by the way, the fact I have a "hunch" + Will Leitch's attendance at the game pretty well clinches a Tiger's win.)

STANDINGS

1. Fornelli 18-11
2. Panger 11-18

Tommy the Dago Presents: NFL Week 8

Okay, so we got back on the good side of .500 with last weeks picks. We're hoping to carry that momentum into this week, because we still have a long way to go to reach respectability.

Best Bets in CAPS

Titans vs. Texans (+3)
Since both of these teams suck, I figure they'll stay close to each other on the scoreboard. The difference is David Carr has Andre Johnson to throw to. Vince Young has....um....Drew Bennett?

Eagles (-7) vs. Jaguars
The Eagles have to bounce back after last week, right? Brian Westbrook will have a huge game against the newly mediocre Jaguars defense, and so will Donovan.

Bengals (-3.5) vs. Falcons
Ocho Cinco has spoken, and when Ocho Cinco talks he usually backs it up. Besides, even if Deangelo Hall can cover 85, they still have to stop TJ Whoosyamomma. I don't think Vick has another 4TD game.

Giants vs. Buccaneers (+9.5)
The Buccaneers are that team that really isn't that good, but they're good enough to stick around and give themselves a chance. Sometimes they hit that 62-yard field goal, most times they don't, but they always keep it close so I'll take all those points.

BEARS (-16) vs. 49ers
If this game wasn't at Soldier Field, I'd be taking SF. I do have one concern. Last season without Mike Brown the Bears gave up an extra 50 yards rushing a game. That could keep the Niners offense on the field a little longer, and possible get them a cover. Still, I'm a total and complete homer.

Packers (-4) vs. Cardinals
The Packers have proven they can beat bad teams. They beat Detroit and Miami on the road, and now they get Arizona at home. I'm taking the Packers.

CHIEFS (-6) vs. Seahawks
This is all simple math really. Seattle Seahawks-Matt Hasselbeck-Shaun Alexander+Seneca Wallace+Maurice Morris x Arrowhead Stadium=Long day for Seahawks.

Saints (-1.5) vs. Ravens
I have a theory. The Saints are for real, and the Ravens aren't. Therefore I'm taking the Saints.

Chargers (-9.5) vs. Rams
The Rams have been pretty okay so far this year, but their run defense isn't very good. So I think that LaDainian should have himself a pretty nice Sunday, and that the Chargers will cover.

Raiders vs. Steelers (-9)
Congratulations, Raiders, you beat Arizona. Pittsburgh can't be as mediocre as they have been. Can they? Seriously, what's that say about a team when I'm concerned with picking them over the Raiders?

Browns vs. JETS (+1.5)
Are the Jets the worst good team or the best bad team? I'm not sure, but either way they're better than the Browns.

Broncos vs. Colts (+2.5)
This is the first real test for the Broncos defense. Champ Bailey can't cover Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne, and Peyton Manning is good enough to beat any defense. In the end the Broncos lack of offense will catch up to them in this game.

Panthers (-6) vs. Cowboys
The Panthers are maddeningly inconsistent at home, but Tony Romo didn't exactly set the world on fire after replacing Drew Bledsoe on Monday Night.

Vikings (+2.5) vs. Patriots
The Vikings are that team that you can see is good, you just have no idea why. Brad Johnson? Chester Taylor? Their best player is their left guard Steve Hutchinson. They do get the job done, and they have an opportunistic defense that helps them win games though, so I gotta take the Vikings getting points in that loud ass dome.

Won't You Hate Mariotti Too?

For those of you who weren't aware, we aren't exactly big fans of Jay Mariotti here. In fact, we hate him.

So yesterday when we got an email from the fellas at a new blog dedicated to hating Jay Mariotti, we were intrigued.

Especially so when the email was about signing a petition to get Mariotti fired. Nothing like a little grassroots activism/hate to get us going.

So we signed the petition, and we think you should too.

Fire Jay Mariotti.

Go ahead, be a hero.

Hey Sailor!

We understand that, as our beloved Notre Dame prepares to play the mighty Midshipmen of the Naval Academy this weekend, the Naval students must be a little bitter.

I mean, they have lost 42 consecutive times to the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame.

Because of that, we don't much mind this video a couple of cadets made mocking one of our favorite movies of all time, and our favorite college football team.

After all, we have Wake Up the Echoes and they get In the Navy by the Village People. So I think we win.

As for the video, there are all kinds of errors. First of all, Charlie Weis wasn't Rudy's coach, and if he was, he wouldn't coach him in that awful Irish accent.

What do you think they do with those mats when they aren't slamming fellow men onto them? Oh........

Wha Happen?

We're gonna start today off by explaining what happened yesterday. We know many of you suffered through sleepless nights over the fact a Hang Ten was never posted yesterday.

We're sorry. Blogger wouldn't let us access Foul Balls while they underwent maintenance. By the time Blogger was back up, it was time for us to start drinking beers and watching baseball.

What really upset us though was a long emotional piece we had planned on writing yesterday. You see, yesterday was the one-year anniversary of the White Sox winning the World Series.

Since we're still a bit tipsy as we write this, we're gonna forego the post. To sum it up, we would have waxed poetic about what great times we had, before eventually we started going on an angry rant about how a team that went 83-79 during the regular season is ONE WIN AWAY FROM A WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONSHIP and our beloved White Sox sit at home watching it all. (If the National League were a person, we'd kick it repeatedly. Then after we knocked him out we would write dirty words, and draw dirty pictures on their face with a Sharpie.)

What the fungus!?

No, we're not bitter.

Instead though, we'll just link you to the original piece we wrote after the Sox won it all last year.

Baseball Tonight-World Series Game 4

Second verse, same as the first. We can't be sure that there will be baseball played tonight, as it's still raining in St. Louis. In fact, for all we know this World Series may not be over before November.

As you've no doubt figured out by now, Panger and I's picks are the same. But we'll rehash it a lil bit for you in case you're too lazy to click that link up thurrrrrr.

TOM'S PICK

• St. Louis (9-5 Jeff Suppan 1-1 1.86) vs. Detroit Tigers (8-3 Jeremy Bonderman 1-0 3.00) St Louis leads 1-0-I'm picking the Cardinals. That David Eckstein just looks so cute in his home whites!! (FOX 8:27PM Est.)

PANGER'S PICK

• Cardinals vs. Tigers-I don't feel as good about it anymore, but I'm still gonna take the Tigers. Maybe the day off will halt the Cardinals' momentum.

STANDINGS

1. Fornelli 17-11
2. Panger 11-17

The Tiki Torch

Giants running back Tiki Barber is none too happy with some things being said about his impending retirement at the end of the season.

Last night on his Sirius Satellite Radio show, The Barber Shop, Barber let his thoughts be known.

He's upset by a group of commentators who have called him a distraction to the New York Giants, accusing him of quitting on the team.

What does Barber think of them?

"I will call them idiots, because they have neither spoken to me, nor any one of my teammates or any of my coaches. Yet all they do is criticize me for being a distraction with this retirement thing"

Specifically, Barber is mad at the Gary Myers of the New York Daily News and ESPN's Tom Jackson and Michael Irvin.

Tiki's most personal remarks were directed to our favorite and yours, Michael Irvin.

"That includes the ultimate character guy, facetiously speaking of course, Michael Irvin. Please get a clue on how to be a journalist. Don't make blanket assumptions about it [retirement]. And obviously, as was evidenced [Monday] night, I am a huge distraction to the New York Giants."

What Barber is referring to was the 114 yards he gained to help the Giants beat the Cowboys 36-22 on Monday Night Football.

We at Foul Balls have never much liked Tiki Barber. We've found him to generally be a pretty boy football player, more concerned with his image and what he's going to do after football. But if he keeps up this kind of stuff, especially the calling Irvin an idiot parts, he's going to be climbing up our rankings.