Subway, Eat Fresh
The Bulls lost the Super Bowl Preview matchup against the Pacers last night, 98-91 but it wasn't anything going on the court that caught our interest.
It was the celebrity sighting in the crowd. Who could it be? We're in the middle of freaking Indiana. There're no Nicholson or Britney sightings in Indianapolis. Yes, Larry Bird was there, but Bird is always at the Pacers games, he works there.
So who was it?
It was Jared.
Subway Jared.
Aren't you excited!?
Okay, so it wasn't Jared himself, as much as it was the person accompanying him. Let's just say that if this is what eating Subway sandwiches gets you, well, we know where we're having lunch tomorrow. (We're trying really hard to not make some kind of 6-inch sub reference right now.)
Of course, it's not just eating Subway sandwiches that helps you lose weight. Jared knows that exercise plays a big role in shedding the pounds. So Jared has used that celebrity status of his to date way outside of his league.
Ya, we'd be smiling too. Here's a more telling profile shot of Jared's blonde friend.
You can get a lot of exercise on that thing.
We also got some video of the pair in their seats, but we have to apologize for the craptastic quality of the picture. What do you want from us? We're a blogger, we can't afford all that fancy equipment. So all you get is us recording our television on the digital camera.
17 comments:
Damn, it can't be that hard to get on tv. What am I doin' wrong?
Let's see: I don't drive a white Ford Bronco, I know I can't sing, I'm not a waiter in an up-scale Manhattan bistro, I don't know anyone who's Jewish, my house wasn't destroyed by a hurricane.
What can I do to get on tv and get a dame like? Maybe I'll just kill Jared; that should do the trick, no?
You can't say that Subway doesn't take care of its spokespeople.
Looks like Jared's getting ready to munch on a tuna melt after the game.
Jaret will definitely be enjoying a few helpings of tuna, that's for sure!
trust me, those aren't free weights he's handling. jerod's paying for that gym membership by the hour.
> What can I do to get on tv and get a dame like? Maybe I'll just kill Jared; that should do the trick, no?
You're not stalking Jodie Foster, are you?
I thought he was married? He has a wedding ring on in the Subway ads.
I'm suprised no one has mentioned the fact that Jared is now really FAT. I can't wait for the next Subway commercial!
statistically speaking 1 ocurrence is an outlier. now we need to see master thespian with anna nicole.
Jerod is NOT fat. He on tour right now, going from school to school...speaking to kids about eating healthy and sharing his story. He was at our school today (I am a teacher) and he looked AMAZING. What have YOU done?
You are a teacher? You have horrible grammar.
Jared got divorced a few years ago. So he is up for grabs. My friend works out at the same gym as Jared and she says he is a big grouchy butt with man boobs. She said he is rude to the trainers and other patrons. Seriously, with the money from Subway wouldn't you think he would have the excess skin taken off? Perhaps he could have a personality overhaul while he was at it.
Actually, I am a friend of Jared. He is a very nice guy and is very generous with his money and time. He is human so he does some stupid things just like we all do! Also, he is extremely busy with visiting schools and developing his new foundation, this is the reason he is unable to remove the "excess" skin. And he does look great; he is not fat at all!!
Actually, I am Jared's secret twin. We are also friends, and I am a teacher at a school he recently visited, and in my free time, I work at the gym where he goes.
So I win!
Seriously though, I hate Jared from Subway. He's the sole reason I don't go there anymore. Everytime one of their commercials comes on, I cry out, "Ach, Jared, I loathe you!" My wife just rolls her eyes.
Have a care now. For I am Jared's long-forgotten secret triplet! My half-sister was Jared's first wife, who's a teacher at a school he recently visited, and I walk my dog by the gym where he works out, if you can call waddling on a treadmill working, and I do adore my brother so, even though he fails to recognize my existence. He's the reason Subway™ is my favorite sandwich place. Every time I see him on T.V., I get hungry for another Subway™ and my wife goes, "There, there, you can't possibly be hungry after that Big Mac™ and supersized Coke™.
I am Jared, and I will someday rule the world. And that day I will decry that all men shall have man boobs, even if it means plastic surgery. Bwahahahahahaha!
This isn't fair. Years ago, I donated some of my DNA to construct Jared, and now I find out it was shared with some of you. That genetic institute owes me some royalties!
I'm speculating that she's not his girlfriend. She's probably just sitting in the seat next to him, or it's a blind date, because they don't 'act' like they're together (no eye contact, their heads barely turn toward each other, there's no leaning). And she's way too trampy-looking (black corset) for a classy guy like Jared.
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