Hey, Roundie! Yeah, I'm talkin' to you!
Ya know, I've been tattooed, crushed, sent into orbit, peppered and kissed goodbye but I've always been a pretty good sport about it.
Until now.
Your crazy lies about me and your Missus yesterday crossed the line.
I know you're upset about the way you've been REEEE-JECTED! by David Stern and the NBA.
But that's no cause for your bad behavior.
Look, I don't know you very well - I go back way further with my pal Roundball - but man, you don't think I understand what you're going through?
Dude, Selig's messed me with so much, I'm wound up tighter than Kenny Rogers. [EDITOR: We apologize for the error. Rawlings was referencing Kenny Rogers.]
Still, you don't see me coming apart at the seams or hurling wild accusations at my ladies, Spalding, Titleist or Dunlop.
And you don't see me giving up.
You gotta have hope, Orange Roundie.
Okay, you got kicked outta the NBA. So WHAT?! That's the way the ball bounces (which I hear was one of your problems but hey, that's another story for another day...).
You've still got a couple days left. Show 'em what you're made of!
Take it to the hole!
Nothing but net!
Roundie, I know you don't wanna end it all. Come on, say it with me, brotha:
WE'RE HERE, WE'RE SPHERE, GET USED TO IT!
Good. That's more like it.
And there's something else, Roundie. After the New Year, I've got a new gig for you. It's not the action-packed life you're used to, I know, but it will provide for your wife and kid.
Ya see, dozens of rich yet incredibly stupid art "collectors" have actually paid over 150 grand for each of these:
Think I'm kidding? Think again.
Looks like the Missus will be able to keep her Mercedes after all.
And don't worry, I'll be sure to keep an eye on her while you're on the job.
Peace out.
2 comments:
I'm really hoping that this is the first and last use of the Ball to Ball tag.
don't test me.
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Try to play nice with each other, or else I will remove your comment.