NFL Week 13 Recaps

We were so torn apart yesterday by those "Joe Crede/Freddy Garcia for A-Rod" rumors (as it turns out, totally false.... Ken Williams and Brian Cashman did meet early Tuesday morning to talk trade but it involved the Sox sending a starter to the Bronx for bullpen help.... so let's just start the "Yankees looking to trade Mariano Rivera" whispering right now), we completely forgot to write our NFL picks recap from this last weekend.

Some would say we did it on purpose, to spare ourselves public embarrassment.

To this we ask, have you read this blog? How could we embarass ourselves any further?

Anyway, since our mother demanded a pay raise after her stellar performance in Week 12, we decided to do it ourselves Week 13. (Our sister wouldn't return our calls.) The results were mom-like.

Bears 23 Vikings 13
The Bears clinched the NFC North for the second straight year. Immediately, panic set in. Why? Cuz Rex Grossman sucks ass right now, that's why. Rex sucked so bad this week that while watching on television, former Bears quarterback Cade McNown said to himself, "Man. That guy sucks." McNown then turned back to the drive-thru window he was working to ask some 40-year-old soccer mom if she wanted some fries with that shake. (My pick: Bears -9 Win Best Bet)

Cardinals 34 Rams 20
Anyone else notice, after barking about how the Rams would be the surprise team this season, Bill Simmons hasn't had much to say about them in recent weeks? Listen, Simmons, I apparently know nothing about football this season either, but that hasn't stopped me from confessing my mistakes. Also, what's the ETA on a 25,000 word column on the Red Sox signing J.D. Drew yesterday? Shouldn't that be up on Page 2 by now? Oh yeah, the Rams lost to the Cardinals. (My pick: Cardinals +7 Win)

Titans 20 Colts 17
This is word for word what I wrote last Friday: "I make this pick with the distinct feeling that Vince Young is going to run wild against the Colts, and knowing full well that it already happened earlier this year. The problem is, I don't learn from mistakes." So, to sum it up, I'm incredibly good at predicting my mistakes and not very good at picking football. (My pick: Colts -7.5 Loss)

Saints 34 49ers 10
Reggie Bush dominated the Niners, scoring four touchdowns. It was about damn time. If that's the kinda stuff we can expect to see from him in the future, then maybe all the hype was justified. Of course, next week, he won't do crap. (My pick: Saints -7 Win)

Falcons 24 Redskins 14
The Redskins quickly jumped out to a 14-0 lead in this game before remembering they suck. (My pick: Redskins -1.5 Loss)

Browns 31 Chiefs 28
This will cost the Chiefs a playoff berth. Not only did they lose to Cleveland, but they lost to them in a game where they held a 14 point lead and the Browns had to go to their second string quarterback Derek Anderson. Who? Exactly. (My pick: Chiefs -5.5 Loss)

Patriots 28 Lions 21
Every week the Lions impress me with their ability to suck. They had this game and, of course, blew it. They're the Lions. On the plus side, if Detroit had been able to beat New England in Foxboro a week after the Bears couldn't, it would not have felt good. (My pick: Patriots -14 Loss)

Chargers 24 Bills 21
The Bills may not be going anywhere this season, but they're playing real well lately. They gave the Chargers a run for their money, and for the second consecutive week the Chargers struggled with an "inferior" opponent. (My pick: Bills +6.5 Win)

Jets 38 Packers 10
The Jets thashed the Packers and continued their ride of a schedule that makes Notre Dame blush. All this so they can experience the honor of getting raped by whoever they play in the first round of the playoffs. (My pick: Jets Pick 'em Win)

Jaguars 24 Dolphins 10
The pendulum that is the Jaguars kept swingin' this weekend, and they put a stop to the red-hot Dolphins. I know absolutely nothing else that happened with this game, just that I can chalk it up as a W. (My pick: Jaguars Pick 'em Win)

Texans 23 Raiders 14
How many of you watched this game? David Carr is the AFC's answer to Rex Grossman. Of course, the rest of the Texans suck, too. (My pick: Texans +3 Win)

Steelers 20 Buccaneers 3
The Steelers basically dominated Tampa all day. Jon Gruden elected to kick a field goal late in the game to keep the Steelers from shutting them out. Not that it matters. Neither of these teams are going anywhere this season. (My pick: Steelers -7.5 Win)

Cowboys 23 Giants 20
This was one of the more entertaining games this week. It was nice to see that Tony Romo is actually human. Of course, nobody will remember that after the throw he made downfield to Jason Witten while running to his left to set up the game winning field goal. Not many quarterbacks can throw a ball 50 yards while running to their left. Well Rex Grossman can, but only to defensive backs. (My pick: Cowboys -3.5 Loss Best Bet)

Seahawks 23 Broncos 20
Jay Cutler sure looked a lot like Jake Plummer in his debut. Of course since his name isn't Jake Plummer, the Bronco fans didn't seem to mind. (My pick: Seahawks +4 Win Best Bet)

Eagles 27 Panthers 24
Gotta love the Eagles fans cheering when Jeff Garcia went down, and then booing when he returned to the field. Those folks are so classy. Of course, all Garcia did was go out and throw three touchdowns to lead the Eagles to victory. (My pick: Eagles +3 Win)

Week 13

• Overall: 10-5
• Best Bets: 2-1

Season

• Overall: 74-94-7
• Best Bets: 17-21-2

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