"Hey Isaiah? Yeah, this is the Blazers. What would you say if we offered you Kevin Garnett, Clyde Drexler, next year's #1 pick, and Stephen A Smith's Cheetos for Channing Frye and Madison Square Garden?"
"I'd say, deal!"
The draft was bound to be one of the better ones in recent memory, not for the quality of players, but because noone really knew for sure what anybody was going to do. The only thing we could be sure of was the New York Knicks would make a horrible pick, which they did, and Jay Bilas finding 4,392 different ways to say "athletic."
Instead of dissecting the entire draft, though, I'm just gonna stick to the two newest members of the Chicago Bulls and two of my favorites from the University of Illinois. Please beware though that the rest of this entry will be written in

Stephen A. Smith-O-VISION. (Patent Pending)
QUITE FRANKLY I WAS VERY HAPPY WITH WHAT THE BULLS DID IN LAST NIGHT'S DRAFT! I HAD BEEN GOING BACK AND FORTH ON WHAT I WANTED THE BULLS TO DO WITH THE #2 PICK IN MY MIND FOR A FEW WEEKS NOW!
TRADE IT!!
KEEP IT!!
TAKE TYRUS THOMAS!
TAKE LAMARCUS ALDRIDGE!
I WANT BRANDON ROY!
QUITE FRANKLY I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WANTED! TYRUS THOMAS WAS THE HIGHEST GUY ON MY DRAFT BOARD(btw my draft board consists of my closet door and a black Sharpie) SHOULD THE BULLS KEEP THE PICK! I WAS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH HIS "FREAKY ATHLETICISM" (thanks for that one, Jay Bilas) DURING THE NCAA TOURNAMENT! MY ONLY REAL CONCERN WITH THOMAS WAS THAT HE MAY TURN OUT TO BE NOTHING MORE THAN A SHORTER VERSION OF TYSON CHANDLER!
QUITE FRANKLY TYRUS SOUNDS A LOT LIKE TYSON! THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CHANDLER
AND THOMAS THOUGH IS THE FACT THAT THOMAS IS SUCH AN AMAZING ATHLETE! WHEREAS CHANDLER SOMETIMES LOOKS LIKE HE'S MOVING IN CONCRETE, THOMAS FLIES AROUND ALL OVER THE COURT! THOMAS ALSO HAS THE ABILITY TO STEP OUTSIDE AND DRAIN THE 15-17 FOOT JUMPER THAT WILL BE VERY USEFULL IN THE BULLS SCREEN AND ROLL OFFENSE!
THE BIG PROBLEM WITH THOMAS WILL BE THAT I DON'T THINK HE'S GOING TO BE FULLY READY FOR AT LEAST A SEASON OR TWO! SO THE BULLS WILL STILL HAVE TO ADDRESS THEIR NEED FOR AN INSIDE PLAYER IN FREE AGENCY THIS SUMMER! THERE HAVE BEEN RUMORS FLOATING AROUND OUT THERE THAT BEN WALLACE IS INTERESTED IN WHAT THE BULLS HAVE GOING ON! STEPHEN A. TOLD US SO, AND WHEN STEPHEN A. SAYS SOMETHING YOU KNOW IT'S THE TRUTH!
QUITE FRANKLY THE PROSPECT OF HAVING A HINRICH-GORDON BACKCOURT, A NOCIONI-THOMAS-WALLACE FRONTCOURT, AND BRINGING IN LUOL DENG, CHRIS DUHON, AND THE BULLS SECOND PICK-THABO (rhymes with Bob-O) SEFOLOSHA(rhymes with um........Mefolosha?)OFF THE BENCH GETS ME EXCITED!
AS FAR AS THABO SEFOLOSHA, QUITE FRANKLY I HAVE NO IDEA WHO IN THE HELL THIS MAN IS! BUT I LIKE HIM! HE WAS BORN IN SOUTH AFRICA, PLAYED IN ITALY AND WAS ON THE SWISS NATIONAL TEAM! FROM WHAT I HAVE HEARD FROM ANALYSTS AND SEEN ON LIMITED VIDEO, SEFOLOSHA APPEARS TO BE THAT TYPE OF LONG 2 GUARD THE BULLS WANTED!
HE'S A STRONG ON THE BALL DEFENDER AND CAN GUARD ANYBODY FROM A POINT GUARD TO A SMALL FORWARD WELL! IN OTHER WORDS HE'S THE TYPE OF PLAYER THAT BULLS GM JOHN PAXSON AND COACH SCOTT SKILES ABSOLUTELY LOVE!
MY FAVORITE PART OF THE SELECTION OF SEFOLOSHA IS GETTING TO HEAR BULLS COLOR ANALYST JOHNNY "RED" KERR SAY HIS NAME! THAT SHOULD BE A DAMN GOOD TIME!
QUITE FRANKLY I WAS ALSO VERY EXCITED TO SEE FORMER ILLINOIS GUARD AND BIG TEN PLAYER OF THE YEAR DEE BROWN GET SELECTED BY THE UTAH JAZZ! HE WILL BE RE-UNITED WITH COLLEGE TEAMMATE DERON WILLIAMS THERE AND THEY CAN CONTINUE WITH WHERE THEY LEFT OFF AT KAM'S AND OTHER CAMPUS BARS IN SALT LAKE CITY! SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT DEE MADE A MISTAKE BY GOING BACK FOR HIS SENIOR YEAR BECAUSE LAST YEAR HE WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOTTERY PICK!
WELL, QUITE FRANKLY, I DON'T THINK DEE BROKE HIS FOOT ON PURPOSE DURING SUMMER WORKOUTS BEFORE LAST SEASONS DRAFT! SO IT CAN'T BE HIS FAULT THEN, CAN IT?! I DON'T THINK DEE WILL EVER BE A STAR IN THE NBA, BUT I CAN EASILY SEE HIM BECOMING A VALUABLE ASSET FOR THE JAZZ COMING OFF THE BENCH! HE BRINGS LIFE TO AN OFFENSE! YOU DON'T CALL A GUY "THE ONE MAND FAST BREAK" CUZ HE'S BORING. MY BIGGEST QUESTION ON DEE, CAN HE EVOLVE INTO A PURER POINT GUARD!? RIGHT NOW, HE'S MORE OF A 2 GUARD IN A POINT GUARD'S BODY BUT QUITE FRANKLY, WITH THE WAY THEY'RE OFFICIATING THE NBA THESE DAYS, THAT COULD WORK OUT TO HIS BENEFIT!
THE OTHER ILLINOIS ALUMNUS, JAMES AUGUSTINE, WAS SELECTED BY THE ORLANDO MAGIC! I SEE AUGUSTINE AS BEING THE TYPE OF ROLE PLAYER THAT GOOD TEAMS WILL NEED! HE CAN COME OFF THE BENCH AND SPELL SOON-TO-BE-ALL-WORLD JOSH HOWARD, GET THE MAGIC SOME REBOUNDS AND SCORE SOME POINTS ALONG THE WAY! PLUS HE'LL BE ABLE TO GO ON ALL NIGHT BENDERS WITH HIS FELLOW ROOKIE AND DRAFTEE, J.J. REDICK!
QUITE FRANKLY, I GIVE THE CHICAGO BULLS A GRADE OF B+ IN THEIR 2006 DRAFT! (You can grade them yourself by voting in the poll on the right of the page) THE ONLY REASON I AM NOT GIVING THEM AN A IS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT SEFOLOSHA AND TYSON CHANDLER IS STILL A BULL!
HOPEFULLY THAT SITUATION CAN BE RECTIFIED IN THE COMING WEEKS!
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