Minnesota:Land of a Thousand Freaks

You know there were a few sad stories in the sports world today. Northwestern football coach Randy Walker died of a heart attack, LA Laker forward Lamar Odom lost his six- and-a-half month old son the Cubs played.

Then there was this story.

This happened on March 30th!? How in the hell have I not heard about this before today?

Seriously, what the hell is going on in Minnesota? First, there was the Minnesota Vikings sex boat incident, and then Eddie Griffin felt left out and decided to get drunk, drive and then watch a little porn to top it all off. Or get it all off, whatever way you want to look at it.

When will Johan Santana get busted for pimping 12-year- old boys to opponents before games? (It tires batters legs, and therefore gets them out in front on his changeup.)

I want to know what life is like in the Timberwolves locker room after this. Hell, what is life like period after you get busted for something like this? I mean in Griffin's stat column from now on will it say, 7.4 Points per game, 5.8 Rebounds per game, and 3.2 Ejaculations per trip to the 7-Eleven?

Also am I the only one wondering what movie it was that he was watching? Teenage Sluts 32? Big Backyards 12? Young Smooth Asian Boy Cinema Volume 4? What was it?

Also if you're comedian Eddie Griffin, do you sue too? I mean, isn't this defaming his good name?

Will I ever not find this story to be absolutely hilarious?

Can I stop asking stupid questions?

You betcha!