Extreme Makeover-Chicago Cubs Edition

There are a lot of Cubs fans calling for the head of manager Dusty Baker right now, and for the most part their bloodlust is justified.

Baker was supposed to be the savior, and in 2003 he was only six outs away from being just that.

My, how things have changed.

After a 9-3 loss to the Florida Marlins Wednesday afternoon the Cubs have reached rock bottom. It wouldn't be that big of a deal had it not been the third game in a row the Marlins took from them to complete a three game sweep.

They were outscored in the series 23-8.

And keep in mind, the Cubs didn't have to face Dontrelle Willis either.

There are about 14 players in the Major Leagues right now who make more in one season than the combined payroll of the Florida Marlins.

So, the Cubs find themselves 18-28 and 12.5 games behind the St Louis Cardinals in the National League Central.

The last three weeks have been an absolute nightmare for the Cubbies. In May the team is 5-18, and they have been outscored 68-121. Obviously, the loss of Derrek Lee has not been an easy one to overcome but baseball is a game played by teams of 25 players. Not one.

That's where the blame comes in. If Dusty Baker was worth the money he's being paid, he could help the team get over the loss of their All Star first baseman. Instead it seems Baker has resigned himself to the idea that this team cannot win without Lee. When you look at him in the dugout during a game he shows absolutely no fire.

In contrast Joe Giradi, the Marlins' manager and former Cub, actually grabbed one of his players by the collar and screamed at him in the dugout during his teams' sweep of the Cubs.

At what point does Dusty realize that just sitting back and crossing your fingers isn't going to work? When does he hold the team meeting where he flips over some Gatorade coolers and kicks some bats around the clubhouse?

Late in 2004 Ozzie Guillen tore into his White Sox team for their lack of fire at the end of the season. In 2005 they led from wire to wire all the way to a World Series championship. Earlier this season new Tigers manager, Jim Leyland, ripped his team both publicly and privately after a home loss. Ever since the Tigers have been the best team in baseball and now post a 31-14 record.

But Dusty just sits there, chewing his toothpick.

Now I don't think it's fair to just pile on Dusty. Announcer Thom Brennaman brought up a very good point during the White Sox/Cubs game on Saturday.

This season the Cubs are without Mark Prior, Kerry Wood, and Derrek Lee. As a result they're struggling. Well, imagine if the St. Louis Cardinals lost Chris Carpenter, Mark Mulder, and Albert Pujols (not that I think Prior and Wood really compare to Carpenter and Mulder right now and DLee is no Pujols either but nobody is, so that's no slight to DLee). Where would they be? I can tell you where they wouldn't be: first place.

The difference is Tony LaRussa wouldn't just sit there and say "Aw shucks." He'd probably let the team know that missing those three players was no excuse for playing horrible baseball.

And that's what the Cubs do. Not only do they get beat by their opponents but anytime they have a chance to win they beat themselves, whether not executing a bunt or getting doubled off second base every third time you reach it. (Hello, Jacque Jones!)

So, yes, I think Dusty Baker needs to be fired. But he's not the only one. I think that the entire Cubs organization needs a complete overhaul.

I'd start with firing General Manager Jim Hendry. Hendry made some great moves for the Cubs in the 2003 pennant run. Robbing the Pirates of Randall Simon, Kenny Lofton, and Aramis Ramirez almost got this team to a World Series.

Since then, though, Hendry has done nothing. It's as if he's still in shock over what happened. His mantra is "We have all the parts we need, we just need to stay healthy." So instead of developing a Plan B in case Mark Prior and Kerry Wood can't stay off the DL, he's decided to just stand pat year after year. As a result, Prior and Wood spend more time on the DL than on the mound, year after year. Then Cub fans are heard to utter that familiar "Wait til next year," refrain.

Let's look at some of the things Hendry has done:

• He got Derrek Lee-His greatest move as a General Manager, hands down, bar none. Derrek Lee is a franchise player, and potential Hall of Famer. If it wasn't for Albert Pujols, he'd be your starting first baseman in the All Star Game for the next 10 years.
• The Nomar Trade-At the time this seemed like a high risk/high reward trade. If Nomar could stay healthy (there's that phrase again) he could have been a great asset to the team. Instead, he struggled through an injury-riddled 18 months on the North Side. He was let go in the offseason (correctly) and is now hitting .370 for the Dodgers. That hurts, but I can't blame Hendry for the move.
• Dontrelle Willis-Yes, he was a Cub at one point. He was traded to the Marlins along with a few others in exchange for Matt Clement and Antonio Alfonseca. (*Thanks to Silvio for coming through on that one. I forgot who the Cubs got for him. Can you blame me, though?) Clement worked out for a few seasons while Alfonseca blew as many saves as he could. We all know what Dontrelle has done. Wouldn't Dontrelle look good in pinstripes right about now?
• Refusal to sign any Free Agent pitchers-With the exception of Greg Maddux, year in and year out Hendry has opted to rely on the fragile arms of Prior and Wood. He has been burned by it every year. This offseason he could have added an arm like Kevin Millwood or a Kenny Rogers. Instead he chose to rely on Glendon Rusch, Rich Hill, Jerome Williams and Angel Guzman.
• Trading for Juan Pierre-Let's see. 2005 was Juan Pierre's worst season ever in the Major Leagues. He hit only .276 (career low) with an on base percentage of .326. He did have 57 stolen bases, though. This year Pierre is batting .230 with a .269 on base percentage and 14 stolen bases. Meanwhile, Luis Castillo was also available and he could have filled the leadoff spot just as easily. Instead, he's in Minnesota....hitting .340. One of the players the Cubs traded for Pierre, pitcher Ricky Nolasco, beat them on Monday. He also hit a home run. On the season Nolasco is 3-1 with a 2.89ERA.
• Signing Jacque Jones to a 3 year deal-Like Pierre, Jones was coming off his worst season in 2005. I could understand a 1 year deal for Jones, but why a multi year deal? Now he's basically impossible to trade. Last year Jones hit .249. You know how many guys wish they could sign a 3 year $27 million deal for hitting .249!? So far this season Jones has been hot and cold. He's hitting a solid .278 with 7 home runs and 19 RBI. There would be a lot of teams interested in a guy like that come July 31st. Well if they wouldn't have to pay him $9 million a year for 2 more years they would be anyway.

Just recently Hendry was asked what the team's biggest problem was. His reply? "Offense." He's half right. It's true that the Cubs have a National League worst batting average of .244. Of course, the team ERA of 4.92 (15th of 16 in the NL) probably doesn't help much either.

So what are Hendry's plans regarding pitching help? You guessed it! Kerry Wood, Mark Prior and Wade Miller. Kerry Wood has made 2 starts and now the team is not so sure when he'll be able to make his 3rd start thanks to shoulder discomfort. Gee, Kerry Wood's shoulder hurts. Whooda thunk it? Mark Prior continues to throw in some rookie league games, but word is, his velocity leaves a lot to be desired right now.

It doesn't stop at Hendry, though. It keeps going up the ladder to corporate shill of a Team President Andy MacPhail. MacPhail has proved year in and year out that he is more interested in the bottom line than putting a winning product on the field.

In other words he's absolutely perfect in the eyes of the Tribune Company.

What would be best for the Cubs would be for the Tribune to sell the team. That's not going to happen anytime soon though.

So what else is there?

Blow it up.

Fire Baker, fire Hendry fire MacPhail. Try to trade Jacque Jones and Juan Pierre (I hear the Yankees need outfield help, and they aren't shy when it comes to spending money) for prospects. Do the same with Greg Maddux and Todd Walker. If you can't get rid of Kerry Wood - and face it, you can't - let him go in the offseason and rid yourself of the problems that go along with him. Throw Aramis Ramirez's name out there and see what you can get. I wouldn't look to deal him, but if a good enough offer comes along it would have to be considered.

I would probably give Mark Prior a little longer due to the high reward potential. Start with Carlos Zambrano and Derrek Lee as your foundation and build a team around them. Yes, there will be a few lean years to deal with, but how is it any different from what's going on now? Instead of 18-28, it's 15-31?

Most people probably won't believe this, but I'm personally bothered by the Cubs struggling. A few years ago it looked like there might be a dynasty starting. With a rotation that consisted of Mark Prior, Kerry Wood, Carlos Zambrano, Matt Clement and Greg Maddux, a World Series title didn't really seem that far fetched.

Imagine if the Cubs were playing as well as the White Sox are right now. This city would be absolutely hysterical with the possibility of a Cubs/White Sox World Series. That's what I want for this city. I want it to be the baseball capital of America.

I mean, look at the intensity displayed from last weekend's inter-city showdown. That was between a first place team and a fifth place team. If the Cubs were in first at the time, there may have been shots fired during the scrum.

The baseball season is a long one, and there are lulls. It's during those lulls that the Cubs fan-Sox fan dynamic works best. With both sides ripping on each other just to kill time. I loved partaking in such banter with Cubs fans.

These days, not so much. Cubs fans are depressed, and generally when you tell them that the Cubs suck, they just nod their head and say "Ya, we do."

What fun is that? It's May 25th and just yesterday Vic told me that his baseball season is over. He's ready to start prepping for our Fantasy Football draft in August. He also told me he's afraid his wife is going to leave him if she finds out that he just doesn't care about the Cubs anymore.

Not only are the Cubs losing games, but now they threaten families.

What are they going to do to fix it?

They will probably resign Baker, Wood, and Prior through 2011 and give Andy MacPhail a raise.

Oh, and, of course, they'll raise ticket prices another 20% next season to pay for those new contracts, and then they'll scalp those same tickets to their fans at a 50% mark up.

Cub fans will keep supporting them too. It's in their blood. I mean seriously, sometimes it just reminds me of that girl who's in an abusive relationship. Her boyfriend/husband beats her all the time, but she never leaves cuz she thinks she can change him.

I got news for you, Cubs fans. You can't. You can only blow the whole thing up and start over.

Random Thoughts

• The White Sox swept the A's!!! This is like only a step or two down on the ladder of Greatest Sox Accomplishments of My Lifetime. The A's kill us. It was the first time we swept them in any series since 1997, and first time in a series here since 1987.
• The Bulls ended up getting the #2 pick in this year's NBA draft and I'm thrilled. For the first time in a while I get the feeling that no matter what we do with this pick we are going to improve. Whether we trade it or end up with a Tyrus Thomas, LaMarcus Aldridge or a Brandon Roy, I think we'll be better. Realistically the Bulls are only one veteran big man from being one of the top 3 teams in the Eastern Conference.
• It never ends for AJ Pierzynski. A new Sports Illustrated poll of MLB players reveals that he is the player that the most of his peers would like to see get beaned. He got 18% of the vote. Barry Bonds finished second with 14%. Apparently, he also got 42% of the vote from AL Central players. The best part? Around 7 White Sox players have already come forward and told AJ they voted for him. Whether you're an athlete, musician or what have you this is a good thing. If people either love you or hate you with no in between, even though they don't know you, you know you're doing something right.
• I hope the rest of the Mavs/Suns series is as good as Game 1. (With the way the NBA officials call the last 4 minutes of games right now, I suspect they will. Seriously, just watch. Any team that is down around 8-15 points with 4 minutes left will get EVERY SINGLE CALL until it's down to a one or two possession game. What, you thought that the playoffs had been this exciting by accident?) In what will probably hurt the Suns more than the Mavs though, both teams are dealing with injuries.
• Speaking of the Mavs/Suns, I smell a fight a brewing. There were altercations between Jerry Stackhouse and Raja Bell and Steve Nash. A flagrant foul delivered by Tim Thomas to Jerry Stackhouse. Another flagrant foul that wasn't called (part of that thing I was talking about in the final 4 minutes a few sentences ago) by Erick Dampier on Boris Diaw. All of this and it's only the first game. I think both of these teams are doing everything in their power to shed themselves of the soft label, and that includes fighting.
• I can't tell you how pissed I was when TNT ruined the pairing of Steve Kerr (my favorite NBA color guy, and arguably the best out there right now) and Marv Albert by throwing Doug Collins in there.
• I'm not surprised by how much more I like watching Dwayne Wade when he's tearing the Pistons a new one, and not the Bulls. Funny how that works. Shaq can still kiss my ass, though.