Saturday, January 13, 2007

Why the NFL Isn't Coming to L.A.



So you thought it was just about soccer?

Ah, grasshopper, things in L.A. are never quite what they seem.

The signing of David Beckham is a symbol of how far removed this town is from ever having an NFL team.

Of course, it was looking pretty dismal for pro football long before Becks planned to set his golden peds in our fair city.

After all, we have two professional hockey teams, two professional baseball teams, two professional basketball teams, two rival college football (not to mention basketball and baseball) teams.

And yet the second largest media market in the country has been unable to field a pro football team for well over a decade.

It's not an accident and it's not changing soon. Here's why:

Who's gonna host them? Last November, the city of Pasadena, home of the Rose Ball, throttled NFL suitors and squashed any hopes of a pro team moving there. By a three-to-one ratio, voters said "no" to negotiations with the NFL - and that was with zero dollars at stake. NFL stadium concepts in Carson, Anaheim and the Coliseum are headed in the same direction. Bottom line, after untold hours and dollars spent, the league is back to square one.

Who's gonna pay for them? Just a couple months ago, NFL team owners were given an estimate of $1 billion to build a stadium here - and that's if construction were to start now. There's just no incentive for the current 32 owners to make that kind of investment, especially when you consider Angelenos, who comprise that big honkin' media market mentioned earlier, are now tuning in to watch one or more of their teams. Why spend a billion dollars in order to give up free ad revenue?

Who is the Los Angeles Idiot Hero who would pony up a billion plus for a vanity purchase? He doesn't exist. At least he hasn't shown his face yet. Don't forget, the people who have the money in this town already run the sexiest vanity business in the world: Hollywood. They don't need to buy a team to hang in the Skybox, get a starlet's attention or hobnob with LT. Cuz what LT really wants to do is direct. (That or fuck a starlet. Both of which a studio mogul can arrange for.)

Who's gonna come watch? There are four basic types of sports fans in this town and not one is gonna come running to a new NFL team:
  1. The Anglo transplants. In good ole days, when you moved to a new city, you basically lost your old team, so changing allegiances kinda made sense. But a global media village (read: NFL Season Ticket) pretty much torpedoes that. I haven't missed a Redskins or Bears game in five years. It's going to take more than a catchy team name and some hot player or two to pull me away.

  2. Native Angelenos. Football? Who needs football? This is a diehard Dodgers and Lakers town, maybe Angels too, now that they're winning (see below). And if you absolutely gotta have it, one of the sexiest professional football teams in America is right down the road. No, not the Chargers. We're talking USC. There isn't a pro team that engenders the depth of support USC receives from this town. I've lived through both and, trust me, the USC/UCLA rivalry is hands down more intense than Redskins/Cowboys. The good news: L.A. fans, while as crazy as those from D.C., are much better looking.

  3. The immigrant transplants. Lots of guys here might be debating the integrity of Nick Saban or the sanity of Rex Grossman, but for an increasing number of male Angelenos, football means means El Tri not Ocho Cinco. "Forget it, Jake. It's Boyle Heights." Virtually every single immigrant repopulating this country speaks fluent soccer not NFL. That's one of the big reasons investors are willing to ante up a $250 million for a single player. That and -

  4. Kids. Growing up playing the game and raised by "soccer moms," they're learning the language of soccer early. And here in L.A., no pro team means no football hardwiring in those growing crania. David Beckham's presence in the States will push the soccer connection even further. And that is likely gonna bite the NFL in the proverbial over the coming years.

Who's gonna give a damn? I've lived in a lot of places but this town takes the gluten-free, sugarless cake when it comes to sports fickleness.

Like everything else here, L.A. loves winners and despises losers. Well, "despises" is too strong a word. That would imply Angelenos give a shit. Which, if you're losing, they don't.

Granted, Los Angeles is also known for its obsession with the "new." Like a corpulent middle-aged studio head hauling out his 22-year-old, Gucci-clad, 34DDD trophy wife (or the distaff version, a cut Abercrombie and Fitch himbo), a new NFL team might engender some fascination.

At least for about two years.

Then, if they're not winning, in this town they'll be toast.

Just ask the ex-trophy wives. Or the Clippers.

So, if you live in L.A., just find a team you like from one of the 32 and go for it. Cuz the Galaxy is the only pro football team L.A. is gonna see for quite awhile... maybe ever.

And if you don't live here, before you wave off the Lower Left Coast as a bunch of gridiron-deprived freaks, remember this:

What happens here, happens in the rest of the country a decade later.


¿Estás listos para fútbol?!

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

where the hell is that bitches leg?

Anonymous said...

"What happens here, happens in the rest of the country a decade later."

Funny, I don't remember any race riots on the east coast a decade after Rodney King...

Anonymous said...

Los Angeles doesn't have a football team because the city and its residents have no soul.

That's why they lost their team in the first place, and that's why they like to watch soccer on TV. Heck, if L.A. would have lifted a finger, the Houston Texans wouldn't have become the Houston Texans, they would have been in Los Angeles. A minority of NFL owners were of the opinion that the NFL should have simply refused to expand into Houston in the first place, but should have held out for an L.A. team.

"What happens here, happens in the rest of the country a decade later."

I don't know...it's been at least10 years since the random freeway shootings, and they don't seem to be happening anywere else...

Fornelli said...

"I don't know...it's been at least10 years since the random freeway shootings, and they don't seem to be happening anywere else..."

I don't know. The folks in Washington DC a few years ago, and Northwest Indiana just this year, might say different.

Besides, I'm pretty sure Panger didn't mean gang riots when she said that. She meant trends in culture and other things of that ilk.

So yes, in 10 years, Lindsay Lohan will be stumbling around drunk in Ames, Iowa before getting gang raped in a cornfield.

DP said...

Funny, I don't remember any race riots on the east coast a decade after Rodney King...


Don't tell that to the folk in Cincinnati.

J Money said...

Fairly certain Cinci isn't on the East Coast.

PANGER said...

this conversation seems to have gotten somewhat off track.

to clarify, i meant that california is a proven bellwether state. which is to say, things that happen here culturally - and yes, sometimes socially/politically - tend to spread through the country within about a decade. (enough qualifiers for you?)

if you want proof of the specific point made in this piece, check out recent demographic shifts in states like iowa, michigan, minnesota, illinois, and further east in the carolinas, georgia, florida, etc. even maine.

now back to our regularly scheduled sports stories and half-naked scarlett johannsen pics!

Kurt said...

All I can hope for is this arrogant smug opinion Californians are having about themselves doesn't spread to the rest of the country.

Demographic shifts occur all the time. This isn't the country following California. This is individuals running away from California. These are immigrants looking for opportunity. Because California has not provided opportunity to anyone except for the select few that make movies.

The country used to follow California. This was because California provided opportunities one could not find at home. One would move to California use your personal ideas, built in your home state, to create something wonderful. Now the creative people are leaving California many to Phoenix. The only thing staying in California is the arrogant idea that you are better then everyone.

Anonymous said...

Maybe its arrogant to point out that saying the creative industries are moving to Phoenix over LA is CRAZY, but there it is.

Good post about why the NFL isn't coming to LA. People who don't live here, or haven't live here, really don't understand the culture and are content with just mocking it as being shallow based on some incredibly shallow observations (freeway shootings, movies!). What it really comes down to is people who watch sports are fine with watching their distant NFL teams and the Lakers, et. al, and the population in general doesn't want to pony up 1 billion for a stadium because NFL owners are too good for one of the many that already exist (Rose Bowl, LA Collisum, Home Depot center).

You all can keep think the losers in Houston and Cleveland who paid all that money for their pathetic franchises are the real winners and LA sucks.

Zach said...

i'm a jersey guy so bear with me... but can someone explain how the bay area can support 2 teams and LA can support none ?

The cultural argument doesn't seem to work bc isn't the bay area seems even more stereotypically incompatible. and of course the college teams are very popular in so-cal

It just seems tragic that LA has to stoop to such a weak city in San Diego to get their NFL fix (and there goes your immigrant/demographic argument too)

Anonymous said...

I wish ppl would do a little research before they opened there mouth. LA is already in the process of getting a team we already bought the land for the stadium. Its in the city of industry between the 10 and 60 freeway less than an hour drive from down town LA the blueprints have already been made and actual construction can start as early as summer of 2010 and a team playing in it as early as 2012 all they need is the team. Most likely its going to be Jacksonville due to the fact that they haven't sold out a game all year and their average attendance is less than 50,000. Also on the list is oak,SD,SF,min,NO,and Jacksonville. Now there's no way in hell the city of new Orleans is giving up the saints. The Vikings and 49ers have to much history. And al Davis things he controls the fan base in LA but the only raider fans I see are dumbass cholos and misguided kids. Which only leaves two teams the jags as I've stated and the chargers due to the fact that there lease at qualcomm stadium is up and the city of sandiego doesn't want to build them a new stadium but there fan base is large so that hurts their chances of coming. So if u ppl stop talking shit about LA and try to find out the facts then maybe it wont seem like ur all talking out of ur ass I'm dry if I sound offensive but I take pride in where I'm from and don't appreciate ppl disrespecting it. And to Jersey boy have u ever been to Diego customer it is a beautiful city with much to offer. I'm dry if there's to much sun shine warm weather and great scenery. And u guys wanna talk about racial incidents especially ones that happened close to 20 years ago. All I have to say is LA is the most diverse city in the world ethically and religiously. I welcome any arguments with open arms because I don't like how ppl use stereotypes inplace of facts.