She Knows How to Cup the Balls

Through the years, women have fought long and hard to get on equal footing with their male counterparts. It's been a long struggle, and a tough one at that. It's made especially tougher when you realize that most young girls have to rely on role models like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and of course, the classy Tara Reid.

But fear not, ladies, there is a new soldier amongst your ranks, and she's fighting the good fight.

Her name is Amy Wilkes, and she's been wronged by The Man.

Or more specifically, the Chicago White Sox.

For seven years, Amy Wilkes says she served as a loyal White Sox ball girl.

But in 2003, she and the team's other ball girls were all fired because the White Sox thought that rowdy fans were more likely to charge onto the field when girls were present, according to a lawsuit filed this week.

Wilkes claims in the suit, filed against the White Sox in federal court, that it was pure discrimination.

"Wilkes was well qualified for her work, and performed in a competent and responsible manner," the suit states.

In truth, we had been wondering what happened to the ball girls in trips to The Cell over the last few years. We had no idea why they had disappeared.

Wilkes was fired on April 15, 2003, the same day Eric Dybas stormed the field in a game against the Kansas City Royals and summarily got his ass kicked by first base umpire, and all around badass, Laz Diaz.

Honestly, we think the presence of attractive women would help keep the drunken morons from storming the field. Think about it, fellas, when a good looking woman asks you to do something, you generally do it.

Why?

Cuz deep inside you think to yourself, "If I listen, maybe she'll have sex with me."

It's sad, but oh so true. Don't deny it.

So if a girl like Amy was standing along the edges of the field and batting her big ol' eyes and asking the shirtless moron holding his tenth Miller Lite to "please sit down," as long as she flashes a smile, he'll probably do it.

We here at Foul Balls support Amy Wilkes in her case against the White Sox. We hope she wins, and we get to see hot chicks in baseball jerseys (seriously guys, is there anything hotter than a hot girl in a jersey?) at The Cell fielding ground balls. If they happen to write their phone number on one of the balls, and toss it to us, all the better!!

(We tried to find a pic of Amy online; the Sun-Times included with the article but for some reason they don't have a picture anywhere on the website. Which is gay.)