In North Carolina, four men are collecting signatures for a petition that would seek national-holiday status for the Super Bowl.Well, there are now 7,402 yes votes thanks to me. You should get in on the action too.
That official day off would be observed on a Monday, in the grand American tradition of the three-day weekend -- and in recognition of the debilitating Sunday excess of unhealthy food, strong beverage, televised sporting violence, relentless commercialism and not a small amount of gambling. No need to call in sick if the office is closed.
By Friday, 7,401 "yes" votes had been cast at the SuperBowlMonday.com Web site in favor of a day-after Super Bowl holiday observation. (There were 268 "no" votes.) This self-proclaimed "grass-roots political campaign," begun shortly before the 2006 Super Bowl, is "serious," said SuperBowlMonday creator Robert Chute, 40, of suburban Charlotte, generating "hundreds of thousands of hits a day."
This did however get the gerbil in our head to start running on his wheel, and start thinking of some other days that should be national holidays.
- January 29th-A day in remembrance of the death of our beloved Barbaro. He was an American icon along the lines of Martin Luther King Jr, Abraham Lincoln, and all the war veterans.
- March 18th-Cuz it absolutely sucks when St. Patrick's Day falls on a Tuesday, and you have to go to work the next morning. How can you truly celebrate the Irish if you can't get really drunk? Answer:You can't.
- May 13th-Also known as Stephen Colbert's birthday. We need to honor the American patriot who has introduced us all to the truthiness.
- December-Ok, so it's not one holiday, but December should be known as National Cablinasian History Month in honor of Tiger Woods, and his distinct heritage. I know that Christmas already falls in December, but c'mon, this is Tiger Woods here. He'd kick Jesus' ass.
- April 20th-Cuz potheads everywhere need another reason to just sit around the house and not do anything.
- The first Thursday and Friday of March Madness-I remember once while in junior college, I brought my TV with me to school so that I could ditch class and watch the early morning games of the first round in the Scholar's Lounge. If you're wondering how I got into a Scholar's Program, reread this entry, and you'll know. Bringing a TV to school is brilliance. (Thanks to Criminal Appeal for this. I can't believe I forgot March Madness.)
That's all I got for now, feel free to leave your own ideas in the comments.
3 comments:
Dear Barbaro,
You were a horse. You are dead.
Anyway, as I see it January needs to be a holiday because planning for and recovering from each NFL playoff game, as well as the Super Bowl, requires time if it is to be done properly. February needs to be a holiday because adjusting to the sudden absence of football in our lives is a delicate process, that and we need time to be yelled at about f**king up Valentine's Day. March, obvious, madness and all. April -- hope is springing eternal for baseball fans everywhere, so we should maximize the opportunities to attend ballparks early in the season by declaring April a holiday. May -- it's crunch time in the NBA, plus by the time you factor in Memorial Day, you might as well take the rest of the month off. June -- the NBA playoffs are massively time consuming. July -- All-Star weekend plus July 4th, why not simplify and make the rest of the month a holiday too. August -- too damn hot, no work. September -- football season is resuming, which is cause for a holiday. October -- baseball playoffs and Halloween looting require time to plan and execute. November -- Thanksgiving eats up half the month, the rest should be reserved for planning for college football Saturdays. December -- you've already explained.
We don't need a national hangover day we drink too much we must all be stupid to do it I'm drinking right now and start to think when I've overimbibed it's our own damn fault. Why did I put a period there I have no idea The day after the superbowl this year I have to help move 12 pianos out of a concert hall not gonna be fun and I'm a Bears fan also god I'm in bad physical shape right now my right leg is screaming for some kind of a break and I just can't sleep it off Soi let's all suck it up and party hardy Superbowl Sunday and the few of us that can put up with the teasing at work on Tuesday USE YOUR SICK DAYS
We don't need a national hangover day we drink too much we must all be stupid to do it I'm drinking right now and start to think when I've overimbibed it's our own damn fault. Why did I put a period there I have no idea The day after the superbowl this year I have to help move 12 pianos out of a concert hall not gonna be fun and I'm a Bears fan also god I'm in bad physical shape right now my right leg is screaming for some kind of a break and I just can't sleep it off Soi let's all suck it up and party hardy Superbowl Sunday and the few of us that can put up with the teasing at work on Tuesday USE YOUR SICK DAYS
I wish you hadn't posted anonymously so I could heap praise upon you.
That was easily my favorite comment in the history of Foul Balls.
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