For You Gambling Types: A Bode Bet

The U.S. ski team announced today that Bode Miller is being added to the U.S. men's slalom team for the world championships.

This, despite the fact that Miller hasn't completed a slalom run in competition in over a year.

To make that clear, it's not that he hasn't won a slalom race in the last year.

It's that he hasn't gotten to the finish line.

But head coach Phil McNichol really didn't have a choice. Miller has a chance to become the first skier with world championship titles in all five disciplines. He's got the first four and the only one missing is the slalom. So, really, it would only be fair to let him try.

And can you imagine the snit fit Bode would have subjected the world to if he hadn't been picked? The Prince of Petulance goes into a meltdown when the hotel turndown service doesn't include a chocolate on his pillow. I shudder to think how he'd respond if denied a chance, however remote, to make history.

But there's another complication. The championships run from Feb. 3-18, and a grueling downhill is scheduled before the slalom.

The downhill in Are, Sweden, will be staged on the Olympia course, which is notorious for its big jumps. It was the same course used at last year's World Cup finals, where Miller hurt his knee.

So 29-year-old Bode says he's uncertain as to whether he'll even compete in the riskier downhill race:

“I've been considering whether I'll race all the races and where my goals are. I might have to think about skipping the downhill. The downhill there last year was what beat up my knee pretty bad. That big 230-foot jump with the flat hard landing is not that nice where you're as old as I am."

But even his teammates don't believe him. Said Steve Nyman:

“It's certainly gnarly, but Bode's just talking. I hardly doubt he won't race it.”

Nice double negative, Steve. I think what you meant to say is:

"What a dumbass liar Bode is. He's just talking crap, like usual. Of course, he's gonna ski the downhill. Man, if there is a God, why did he give that asshole so much talent?"

Bode displays his good taste and fondness for trannies.

Which leads to our bet. You see, the only thing that runs faster than Bode's skis is his mouth. His hissy fits are legion and he's tangled with everyone from the media to fans to his own coach and teammates.

So, sportsfans, here's the question: What will happen first?

• Bode will finish a slalom race (not win it, finish it).
• Bode will throw some kinda of public shit fit.

Pick one or, better yet, offer up your own scenario. Closest guess gets my extra ticket to the Super Bowl. (No, wait, that scam has already been worked.)