Tony Romo Sucks

There aren't many NFL teams whom I'm groomed to hate more than the Green Bay Packers, but if there's ever been another franchise that I just can't stand, it's the Dallas Cowboys. America's Team my ass.

So even though I understand that he went to Eastern Illinois, I don't get why the Cubs chose Tony Romo to throw out a first pitch and sing the stretch. I mean, he's from Brewers country, and he's a Dallas Cowboy.

Thankfully, he sucked.

Screw The Bulls

As I look around the web and through the newspapers, and listen to the radio, there's one big story in Chicago today: the Joakim Noah benching. I decided yesterday that I was going to write about it as well, but when I woke up this morning I stumbled into one big road block.

I don't care enough about this team right now.

In a year's time I've gone from being enamored with this team and their future to not even realizing they were playing on Sunday. It's tiring to try and follow these guys.

The cohesion between the players on the Bulls that had been so evident the last few years is gone. It's as though they've adopted an every man for himself philosophy, and it's not fun to watch.

Luol Deng and Ben Gordon seem too preoccupied with the fact they turned down $50 million extensions this offseason, and now they're trying to overcompensate on the court. Ben Wallace quit on Scott Skiles, and I don't care how much you hate a guy, when you're making the type of money Ben is making, you play every night.

In a weird way, this benching of Noah after a unanimous vote by the rest of the team is the first sign of this team coming together this season. Not exactly the way you'd like to see it happen though, is it?

When Jim Boylan took over I saw an energy from the team that wasn't there during the first month and a half under Skiles this season. It gave me hope that they'd turn things around, but that quickly changed when the same sloppy play the Bulls had exhibited all season continued. Only now that horrible decision had some motivation behind it!

Now it's as though the team has already tuned Boylan out as well. They didn't feel as though his one-game benching of Noah was enough, so they took matters into their own hands and told their coach he'd be benching Noah for another game as well.

Well, I've taken a players-only vote as well, and by a unanimous decision we've come to the conclusion that were stepping back from the Bulls this season. I'm not going to drop them completely or anything. I'll still watch games when I can, but much like the Bulls players have done this season, I'm going to stop caring.

If they don't give a shit, why should I?

Foul Balls

T.O. Is On Suicide Watch Again - There's no doubt that around the blogosphere and MSM this morning there will be a lot of talk about how Tony Romo going to Mexico with Jessica Simpson last week is the reason the Cowboys lost. It's not true, but it helps fill the pages and airspace, so why the hell not.

Romo set himself up for it, so now he's going to have to answer for it. At least we know he has one teammate who's going to be there for him.

Obviously, none of this should come as a surprise to you. Terrell has always been a team first guy who's stood by his quarterback through thick and thin. Just ask Donovan McNabb and Jeff Garcia.

Personally I think the only reason Owens is crying is because he saw the look on Jerry Jones' face on the sidelines after R.W. McQuarters' interception ended the game, and he's just scared Jerry is going to line up the entire team and shoot them.

Can't Believe The Colts Lost - A day later, and I'm still not sure how the Colts lost to the Chargers on Sunday. LaDainian Tomlinson didn't play in the second half, Antonio Gates was extremely limited with his dislocated toe, and Philip Rivers had to leave the game in the fourth quarter.

Meanwhile Peyton Manning threw for over 400 yards, so shouldn't the Colts have won this game by 24?

Seriously, Billy Volek? Billy Volek is leading the Chargers on game-winning drives on the road?

NORV TURNER HAS WON TWO STRAIGHT PLAYOFF GAMES!?

I don't know what the hell is going on here, people, but I'm scared for my life.

I'm also scared that next week's AFC Championship will feature a quarterback matchup of Tom Brady and Billy Volek. That should be exciting.

Eric Gordon's Still Good, Illini Still Suck - Illinois moved to 0-4 in the Big Ten after losing again on Sunday afternoon to Indiana. The story going into the game, of course, was about Eric Gordon facing the Illini.

It's the first time Gordon has played against the team he verbally committed to a few years ago before backing out on it and going to Indiana. He didn't disappoint either, as the Big Ten's leading scorer dropped 17 on the Illini and was a big part of the Hoosiers comeback win.

If there's anything positive to take from this game, it's that at least the Illini built a lead to blow in the second half! I figured they were going to get blown out of the water from the get go. It's progress, people!

In Other Tony Romo-Related News...

And only cuz it's been a pretty slow news day, we have one more Tony Romo post. For those who don't know, ever since Romo took over the starting job in Dallas, a blog popped up called TonyHomo.com.

The premise of the blog was somebody pretending to be Drew Bledsoe, the man whose job Romo took. It really was one of the funniest things on the internet, and we say was, cuz it's retired.

TonyHomo.com made its last post yesterday since the Cowboys season is now over, but they didn't leave without getting one final dig in at Romo.

As Homo sat by his locker, with this head in his hands shivering from sadness, tears rolling off of his elbows and onto his knees, I almost felt bad enough not to mess with him... But I couldn't resist!

I walked up to him, put my hand on his shoulder and said "Hey Buddy. I know how you're feeling. This is probably the low point in your life. You look around and you're surrounded by a room full of people you've disappointed today. It's tough to look any one of us in the eye and say "Thanks for practicing all year long and preparing, but it doesn't matter because I couldn't hold onto a football." As an athlete there is nothing worse than letting your team down. It's hard, I know. It's really hard. But on the plus side I saved a lot of money on my car insurance by switching to Geiko. Also -- Did you get my letter? Because I think I forgot to STAMP IT!"

He moved his foot as I went to stomp on it, but I think I got him pretty good otherwise.

It turns out that the site was a production by Amir of Straight Cash, Homey! Of course Amir is known to most as one of the guys from College Humor. He's just a really busy man, and we'd like to thank Amir for amusing us the last few months with TonyHomo, it was fun.

Just Cuz We Hate the Cowboys

Ya, we're pretty sure all of you have seen this by now, if not 1,000 times. But maybe, just maybe, you haven't. So we feel the need to post it here.

If you don't know the situation, the Cowboys were trailing Seattle 21-20 late on Saturday. They then marched all the way downfield, and were set up for a 20-yard field goal that would have given them the lead with a minute left.

Oops, wrong video. Post traumatic stress disorder does crazy things to people. Here's the actual video.

Panger has been watching it nonstop while laughing hysterically for 34 hours now. We really do feel sorry for Tony Romo though, no matter how strong our dislike for the Cowboys is. Judging by the way he was during the post game press conference, we hope Jerry Jones made sure that they took away his shoe laces before he went home.

Bobble Head

yesterdays' wild-card games

Seattle Seahawks 21, Dallas Cowboys 20

How hard is to to believe that only a month ago, Tony Romo being touted as the Second Coming?

Trailing by one point at the end of the fourth quarter, a 25-yard run by Julius Jones put the Cowboys into range for what should have been an easy Martin Gramatica field goal from 19 yards out.

But Romo, acting as holder, lost his grip of the ball on the snap and had to run toward the end zone before getting stopped short of the first-down marker.

End of game. And the beginning of an excruciatingly long offseason for Romo who will, no doubt, will be able to see his mistake replayed over and over again on NFL highlight reels for years to come.

And that wasn't even the weirdest play of the game. That honor would go to a fourth-quarter safety originally ruled a touchdown after Terry Glenn got stripped of the ball by Kelly Jennings on the one-yard line.

Bill Parcells was in such shock afterwards, he wasn't even surly:

"You gotta finish the game. We just didn't do it."

You could see on his face, this one cut deep.

Some analysts surmised it was so bad, it might push him to retire.

Our guess is the opposite. No coach as competitive as Parcells wants that play to be the last of his career.

Indianapolis Colts 23, Kansas City Chiefs 8

Pregame, all the "experts" predicted it would be a battle between Peyton Manning, who'd wreck havoc in the end zone, and Larry Johnson, who'd run a hole through the Indianapolis defense.

Nice guess, fellas.

Peyton Manning folded (the post-season Manning Meltdown)and made it way closer than it had to be, throwing three interceptions that kept Kansas City within striking range until late in the third quarter.

But the Colts' defense, stung by a week-long bitch slap by the media, had something to prove.

Said a jubiliant Dwight Freeney after the game:

"Doesn't matter what anybody says 'cept the eleven guys on the field."

And he reminded folks what Tony Dungy told his players a couple weeks ago when reamed for not altering a defensive roster that was giving up on average 173 yards per game: "We have the right defense. We just need to tackle better."

And that's what they did, preventing the Chiefs from making a single first down for the first forty minutes of the game.

KC quarterback Trent Green looked like he still had a concussion - or wished he did. At this moment, Ty Law is no doubt locked in the bathroom of the team plane, banging his head on the sink, mumbling "Why me?" after making two brilliant interceptions only to see them squandered by Green.

Trent Green's performance.

The best part of the game came after, during the obligatory handshake between KC head coach Herman Edwards and Dungy. They have been best friends since early in their respective careers and it showed in their genuine display of sportsmanship and - dare we say it? - affection. The two - accompanied by Bears head coach Lovie Smith - also went out to dinner the night before the game. Not sure that's a choice we would have made but it's heart-warming, nonetheless.

So now the Colts travel to Baltimore, where we're guessing they'll get shellacked, karmic payback 23 years later for "The Move."

In fact, someone oughta get the cast of Most Haunted to Bob Irsay's grave - we promise you, he'll be turning over in it when the Ravens end the Colts season.