On Ozzie Guillen and Blow-Up Dolls

While watching the White Sox play baseball the last few weeks has done a lot to help push me to the brink of climbing a clock tower with a sniper rifle, at least they're providing me with plenty of fodder for the blog here. Whether it's just how much they suck, Ozzie playing mad-libs, or now with they way they view women.

Apparently Ozzie and the Sox thought the best way to break out of their hitting slump was to turn to blow-up dolls.

Designed to help the team break out of its slump, the shrine featured two female blow-up dolls surrounded by ''strategically placed'' baseball bats and was accompanied by a sign that read, ''You've Got To Push,'' Canada's National Post reported.

See, now that right there is hilarious. Unfortunately, as she's prone to do, the Sun-Times Carol Slezak blows this whole thing out of proportion.

But this isn't about reporters' feelings. Reporters are conduits to the fans. What a team does behind closed doors is its own business. But once the locker room opens, the franchise is on public display. So, how do you like your team now, Sox fans? Do you think the players respect women? I'm not so sure about that.

Do I think that the players respect women? Yes. Do I think they respect blow-up dolls? No. You see, Carol, there's a difference between actual women and blow-up dolls. Though a man's goal with both are the same, living, breathing women are actual human beings with feelings, and thoughts. Blow-up dolls are synthetic, manufactured dolls that look like women, but were made with the sole purpose of having men stick things in them. Sometimes it's a penis, other times it's a baseball bat.

I hope that clears that up for you. Also, if you're trying to find a moral beacon for society, I'd suggest you try looking for it somewhere other than a clubhouse or locker room. That's kind of like getting your world news from the National Enquirer.

If you enjoy your discount roller blades, check out our discount razor scooter! You might also enjoy our other sports equipment if you like to stay active.