Tank Johnson Is Not Happy With The Redskins

Read the post at SPORTSbyBROOKS

The Bears Add Darwin Walker

The MLB trade deadline may be tomorrow, but while both of Chicago's baseball teams remain pretty quiet, the Bears are making things happen.

Over the weekend the Bears may have solved a problem at defensive tackle by getting Darwin Walker from the Buffalo Bills for a conditional draft pick.

Over the weekend, they worked to restructure the contract of Darwin Walker in order to pull off a trade for the defensive tackle, who reached two NFC championship games and one Super Bowl as a starter with the Philadelphia Eagles.

The Bears acquired Walker, a seven-year veteran with 27.5 career sacks, from the Buffalo Bills for a conditional 2008 draft choice, expected to be no higher than the fifth round.

With the loss of Ian Scott and Alfonso Boone to free agency, and Tank Johnson to being stupid, the middle of the Bears defensive line was a concern going into this season. Not anymore. Not only is Walker a good run stopper, he can also rush the passer, which his 27.5 sacks show. What's even better is that he's played in every game of four of the last five seasons.

Without as much depth at the tackle position as in years past, it's important to get a player that can stay on the field.

It's been a weird few days for the Bears, as far as I'm concerned anyway. All offseason everything they Bears did just felt bad. There was the Tank Johnson stuff, the free agent losses, the Thomas Jones trade, and of course Lance Briggs. Now Briggs is in camp and happy, and we've solved the problem at defensive tackle.

Now I can't wait for this season to start.

Tank Johnson Pleaded With The Cops

More news has come out regarding Tank Johnson being pulled over in Arizona a few weeks ago, the same incident that was the final straw for the Chicago Bears.

It turns out that Tank may not have been legally drunk, but he couldn't pass any field sobriety tests either. He failed the finger-to-nose test - he couldn't touch his nose - and he couldn't stand with his feet together.

All of which led Tank, whose given name is Terry, to inform the officer Andrew Bates who he was and ask them for some help.

"Terry was very concerned about the effect of his arrest on his career,'' Bates said in the report. ''After the fingerprinting, Terry asked for an opportunity to meet with Police Chief Tim Dorn to discuss the case.

''I provided him with contact information and advised that the Chief typically worked regular business hours. Terry pointed to the blood sample and requested, 'Don't do anything with that until I talk with the Chief.'''

Tank had also told Bates that he hadn't been drinking, but he did take a couple of Valium within the last 24 hours to help him sleep on his flight. Well, last I checked Valium doesn't lead to a .072 BAC. So Tank had been drinking, and the fact that he may have still been feeling the effects of valium really don't help his case.

Still, there is another side to this story that the Nation of Islam Sportsblog points out.

So, from the moment the stop took place, Jones made it clear that he was not drunk. That alcohol was not a factor. That the reason he may have been driving erratically was due to some residual tiredness from him self medicating to get some sleep.

Tank told Bates he was a football player and tried several times to get the officer to let him go. Johnson went from stalling, to panicking, to this: ''Terry was very concerned about the effect of his arrest on his career,'' Bates said in the report. ''After the fingerprinting, Terry asked for an opportunity to meet with Police Chief Tim Dorn to discuss the case. ''I provided him with contact information and advised that the Chief typically worked regular business hours. Terry pointed to the blood sample and requested, 'Don't do anything with that until I talk with the Chief.'''

Again, Johnson proves to be coherent, cooperative and conscientious. Even identifying who he was. And further acknowledging that if the stop was not handled properly and with appropriate attention to detail, it might have an adverse effect on his future.

So far, Johnson seems to have handled the situation with class, dignity and surprising calm.

Here's what the report says happened just before 3:32 a.m., after Bates told Johnson he was failing the field sobriety tests: ''He requested I follow him while he drove to his mother's home.''

Again, Johnson, despite his relaxed state due to his flight, had the good sense to make a reasonable request to ensure that he was able to get home safely. Certainly, it would be foolish of the police to let him drive unsupervised in his current state.

At 3:46: ''Terry stated he did not want to have any problems and requested I release him without completing the investigation.''

Johnson had been forthright and honest with the situation thus far. What was there left to investigate?

Tank may have seemed to have himself under control, but I don't necessarily agree with NOIS on this one. I've had a couple of run-ins with the police myself during my time when I was slightly impaired, and let me tell you, it's amazing how fast you can sober up when you have a cop's flashlight pointed in your face.

Whether Tank was polite and forthcoming with the police or not - which considering his BAC, that doesn't seem to be the case - it doesn't mean Bates shouldn't have subjected him to a blood test. He had all the cause he needed when Tank couldn't pass the field tests.

Of course, no matter which side you want to take, it's ultimately Tank's fault. He was the one who put himself in this situation starting last season, and now he's reaping the rewards of some dumb decisions he's made.

Tank Wasn't Tanked

It really doesn't mean anything now that the Bears have already cut ties with Tank Johnson, but according to police in Arizona that pulled him over, Tank was not drunk.

Well, drunk enough, anyway.

Tank Johnson's blood alcohol level was below the legal limit when the former Chicago Bears tackle was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving June 22.

Johnson's blood alcohol level was .072, under the presumptive limit in Arizona of .08 percent, police Sgt. Andrew Duncan said Monday. No charges have been filed pending results of a completed investigation.

So Tank had been drinking, but not enough to break the law. Of course, the only thing that really matters in this case is that Tank was dumb enough to drive after drinking in the first place.

I don't care that you're not legally drunk, when you've just gotten out of prison and have been suspended for eight games by the NFL, you just do not do that.

Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go have my morning glass of whiskey and cruise the local elementary school for chicks. Don't worry, I'll be riding my bike.

Tanks for the Memories

Even Tank's family is turning on him.

In an interview on Tuesday, ex-Chicago Bear Tank Johnson stated that a difficult childhood - especially, according to him, his parents' drug addiction and fathers' repeated jail time - contributed to the problems he faces as an adult.

Lies, lies, lies, respond his angry relatives.

Chris Johnson, Tank's aunt, was infuriated by a line in a column in the Post-Tribune on Tuesday that said that Johnson Sr. had been "in and out of prison."

"You can't fabricate things and you can't go around making up accusations and building up stories based on your family," said Chris, who lives in Gary.

Said Terry Sr.: "I've never been in prison."

Chris Johnson said the drug allegations are "serious accusations. They aren't true. My brother has never been a drug addict. We need to clear my brother and my parents' name."

"All this publicity about the family is just ridiculous," Howard Johnson, [Tank's grandfather] said. "Every time I look in the papers, it's just a bunch of bull (expletive)."

A criminal background check proves Tank's father is telling the truth. No jail time is listed, just a misdeamor marijuana violation.

No word yet on whether his family is putting him on waivers.

This affects more than just Tank Johnson. Several athletes must now rethink planned interactions with the media.

For example, sources close to Michael Vick tell Foul Balls that, as a result of Tank's recent problem, he has now cancelled an interview he was prepared to give to Sports Illustrated on Monday.

In it, he was set to go on the record explaining that when he was three, his parents abandoned him in a Mexican desert where he almost certainly would have died had not a wolf, Lupe, rescued him and raised him as her own. Tragically, Lupe was killed by a pack of rabid Chihuahuas, while Vick watched in horror. He's had problems with dogs ever since.

Vasher Gets A Five-Year Extension

On the same day that the Bears released Tank Johnson, they also signed one of their defensive starters to a contract extension.

Nathan Vasher should be wearing a Bears jersey until 2012.

Avoiding a potential crisis at cornerback, the Chicago Bears signed starting cornerback Nathan Vasher to a five-year contract extension on Monday that can be worth as much as $28 million.

The new deal, which runs through the 2012 season, includes $14 million in guarantees. Vasher, 25, was set to enter the final year of his original rookie contract with Chicago, at a base salary of $850,000.

"It feels good. It's been a great relief," Vasher said. "I know a lot of people have contract issues about this time. It's one less thing I have to worry about."

Had he not been signed to an extension, Vasher would have become an unrestricted free agent at the end of the upcoming season.

Apparently, the Bears aren't finished there. They're currently working on signing their other corner, Peanut Tillman, to an extension, as well.

And I can't help but think that somewhere, Lance Briggs is really fucking pissed off.

The Bears Have Waived Tank Johnson

Well, I said my piece, and Panger said hers. It looks like Panger wins.

The Bears have waived Tank Johnson.

The Bears stood by and supported Tank Johnson throughout a series of transgressions, but violating the club’s no-tolerance policy cost him his job.

The Bears on Monday waived the troubled defensive tackle, who was pulled over and arrested by police in Arizona at 3:30 a.m. Friday.

“We are upset and embarrassed by Tank’s actions last week,” said general manager Jerry Angelo. “He compromised the credibility of our organization. We made it clear to him that he had no room for error. Our goal was to help someone through a difficult period in his life, but the effort needs to come from both sides. It didn’t, and we have decided to move on.”

I can't say I agree with the decision, but I can't really argue with the Bears either. If they're sick of dealing with Tank, then they should cut him.

As for how thin this leaves the Bears at defensive tackle, I guess we'll just have to worry about that once the season starts.

Not So Fast, My Friend

Yesterday, Panger wasn't shy about sharing her feelings about Tank Johnson. To put it simply, she wants him gone.

Tank Johnson is the cousin who shows up every single year to a family event, gets shitfaced, pukes in the centerpiece, then makes a dramatic and sincere apology saying he's getting help and promising it will never, ever happen again. Until the very next time when he tosses back a gallon of egg nog, knocks over the Christmas tree, and hurls all over your Oriental rug while screaming, "You never loved me, Ma!" to your neighbor's wife.

Unlike my partner in crime here on The Balls, I don't think that the Bears should cut ties with Tank based on this latest incident.

He was speeding. Dear God, no!! Of all the things somebody could do in this world speeding is right up there with murder, rape, and pitching in the White Sox bullpen.

Don't get me wrong, if that blood test comes back and Tank was drunk or high, see ya. Get rid of him. But to drop him because he was speeding would set a dangerous precedent.

I'm guessing there are at least five Chicago Bears on the road right now driving over the speed limit. Hell, one of them might get pulled over any minute now, but you won't hear about it.

The only reason any of us know that Tank did get pulled over is because it's Tank. If Nathan Vasher was driving 25 MPH over the limit somewhere this weekend, and got a ticket for it, none of us would know about it.

Don't get me wrong, I understand the concerns surrounding Tank Johnson. I agree that if he had any common sense, he wouldn't have been out that late at night because, when you think about it, it's just asking for trouble.

But then again, Tank is a football player. Since when do football players exhibit common sense? These are the same guys who choose to make their livelihood beating the crap out of other large men.

Also, Panger? Are you serious about this?

Remember you're rich and hire a limo driver to take you wherever you want to go, making it impossible for you to get into trouble.

Yes, that makes all kinds of sense. Then in 25 years when Tank is flat broke we can all jump on him and call him an idiot for being so stupid with his money.

Drop Tank Johnson Now

WARNING: The following is one woman's view and is not intended to express the opinion of Foul Balls management, Fornelli, or the thousand of Bears fans who now probably want me dead.

When I read the latest news about Tank Johnson a few days ago (stopped in Arizona for going 40 m.p.h. in a 25-m.p.h. zone at 3:30 in the morning, possibly under the influence) my reaction was swift and simple.

Enough.

Cut him from the Bears.

Now.

I've read several Bears fans-cum-Johnson apologists who will jump down my throat, accusing me of hypocrisy ("haven't you ever driven 15 miles over the speed limit?") and hyper-moralism.

Believe me, my concerns are practical, not moral. They involve insuring the Bears have the best shot at winning next season.

With that, let's take a look at this situation.

Here are the facts, Tank.

You've been in trouble with the law so many times, it's hard to keep track.

You've just finished serving hard time and are currently on parole.

You have publicly and very dramatically stated you are a changed man.

Privately, you know your entire career rests in the hands of people highly concerned with public opinion.

And you know these people are watching you like a hawk.

In light of this, do you:

1. Remember you're rich and hire a limo driver to take you wherever you want to go, making it impossible for you to get into trouble; or,
2. Drive your own car, speeding through deserted streets of a rival city at 3:30 in the morning, possibly after having had something to drink.

If you answered "2," you are too stupid to live, much less play for the Bears.

I mean, this is Problem Solving 101, dude, and you flunked the very first test.

As for you, Lovie, let's talk:

C'mon, if this idiot can fuck up like this after what you've all been through with him and for him, is there the slightest doubt in your mind he's going fuck up again?

Some say Tank is showing you a lack of respect but I disagree. That would require more thought than Tank is apparently able to muster. This dude just doesn't think things through.

And that's what makes him so dangerous.

Tank Johnson is the cousin who shows up every single year to a family event, gets shitfaced, pukes in the centerpiece, then makes a dramatic and sincere apology saying he's getting help and promising it will never, ever happen again. Until the very next time when he tosses back a gallon of egg nog, knocks over the Christmas tree, and hurls all over your Oriental rug while screaming, "You never loved me, Ma!" to your neighbor's wife.

But this ain't family, this is a team with players who come and go. It's a team and fans who want to see another shot at that Super Bowl ring.

You have a choice, Lovie. Go through the trouble of permanently replacing Tank now, develop plays and teamwork you can use all season long. Added bonus, get him off the back pages of the paper.

Or wait until the season starts when he pulls his next stunt. And instead of talking plays, you're stuck doing press interviews on the guy.

And no offense, Lovie, but convert him on your time. Tank's a football player, not an Oprah show in the making.

So do yourself a favor, Lovie. Do us all of us a favor.

Get rid of him.

(And for those of you who ask, "haven't you ever driven 40 in a 25 mile an hour zone?" Not on probation with my career on the line, I haven't, no.)

Tank Johnson Pulled Over in Arizona

Well, Tank Johnson's promise to be a new man and one day win the NFL's Man of the Year award lasted a a little over a month at least. Good for him.

Unfortunately, it ended Friday morning in Arizona.

Police in Gilbert, Ariz., pulled Johnson over at 3:30 a.m. Friday and cited him for "being impaired to the slightest degree," Sgt. Andrew Duncan told the Chicago Tribune in a story posted on its Web site.

Johnson had been going 40 mph in a 25 mph zone when the officer "made observations that led him to believe Johnson was impaired," Duncan said.

A "very cooperative" Johnson was taken to the Gilbert police station where officials drew blood for a blood-alcohol content test, Duncan said. Afterward, Johnson was released.

Test results aren't expected for up to two weeks, Duncan said.

Wait a minute. Impaired to the slightest degree?

What in the hell does that mean?

If I cut my finger at work, and then drive home, am I impaired to the slightest degree? If I kill a hooker and then snort 15 lines of Columbia's finest off her stomach, am I impaired to a slightly worse than a tenth of a degree?

Could Tank being impaired to the slightest degree have anything to do with the fact it was 3:30AM and he was just tired?

Also, since when do they draw blood? I thought they had breathalyzers for that type of thing? Why the hell do they need two weeks? Do they need the time to plant something in his blood so it comes back as a positive?

Are Cardinals fans still that upset over the Bears comeback victory last season on Monday Night Football? If they are, shouldn't they be going after Brian Urlacher or Devin Hester?

What the hell did Tank do?

As you can see, I have more questions about this incident than I do facts. Personally I think Tank got pulled over for speeding, and then the cop realized who he was, and decided to dig a little further.

Of course, this isn't going to bode well for Tank if he wants to get his suspension reduced to six games instead of eight. Hopefully if it turns out it's nothing more than a speeding violation, Roger Goodell won't punish him for that.

We'll keep you updated on this story as it develops. Well, unless I'm slightly impaired. In which case, I don't know what I'll do.

Tank Learns His Suspension

The NFL announced yesterday that Tank Johnson will be suspended for the first eight games of the season thanks to his love of guns. Seeing as how Johnson has experience in prison, the NFL figured they'd offer him a chance at parole.

The suspension can be reduced to six games with good behavior. So really what that means is Tank will only miss six game. If he doesn't exhibit good behavior, he'll probably be suspended the whole season.

So what are Tank's plans?

''During those six games, I'm going to just do everything I can to be a better man,'' he vowed. ''I'm looking at it like a six-game suspension because I'm very confident that I'm capable of doing everything [Goodell] asked me to do and more. As a professional, you have to deal with adverse situations. And I firmly believe having to sit out six games is going to only give me time to get better.''

Tank also went on to say more about his plans on one day becoming the NFL's Man of the Year.

I don't know what it is, maybe it's just the fact he's a Bear and I'm a homer, but I get the feeling that Tank Johnson is different than Pacman Jones or Chris Henry. I think he's starting to get it. When you look at Pacman or Henry, whenever they talk about what they've done it seems to be through statements by their lawyers or agents.

Tank Johnson actually faces the media and scrutiny in person, and seems contrite.

I hope I'm right.

Tank's Suspension Expected Tomorrow

The Chicago Tribune's David Haugh writes today that it's expected the NFL will announce that Tank Johnson will be suspended somewhere between six and eight games on Monday.

This doesn't really come as a surprise for anybody, as it's been expected that Tank will probably miss half the season thanks to Roger Goodell's much needed disciplinary policy. If anything, it'll just be a relief to get the announcement out of the way.

What I don't get quite as much is Haugh's reasoning that Tank's suspension will help his career.

Forget the lost wages approaching $200,000 in the game checks Johnson will forfeit. He stands to make up that and more when it comes time to negotiate his next Bears contract, which could come shortly after next season ends.

Johnson's modest contract paying him $548,000 runs out in 2008. But he can put himself near the front of the line for an extension next off-season if he simply shows flashes in the second half that prove his play on the field is worth the high maintenance off of it.

In theory, the layoff only will make Johnson more durable for the stretch run and more marketable heading into an incentive-laden, contract-drive season of 2008. Even if the Bears have locked up Tommie Harris by then, which is likely, they might decide before the '08 season that it makes sense to re-up Johnson, too, to retain a defensive tackle tandem that could be one of the NFC's best for years.

Yeah, I'm not quite sure I buy that. While it's possible that Tank can get his head together over the next season or two and become a model citizen, I'm not sure that means that the Bears are going to want to invest a lot of money in a guy who could be a risk.

Think about it, the McCaskey's didn't even want to pay Lovie Smith the money he deserved, why would they be so willing to give Tank Johnson a fat contract?

Not to mention that with Tommie Harris at one of the tackle spots, he automatically makes the guy lined up next to him twice as good since he commands all the double teams. All of which means it won't be hard to replace Tank Johnson with somebody else.

Tank Johnson Likes Junk Food

Apparently when you're a 300 pound defensive tackle, grits, bologna sandwiches, and chicken legs just aren't enough to keep you going.

That's what the daily food schedule was for Tank Johnson while he spent time at Cook County Jail, but that wasn't all Tank ate while in there.

No, he ran up a $700 food bill on junk food during his two months. The Chicago Sun-Times was even able to get an itemized list of everything he bought while in there.

Tank loves the beef jerky, but he's also a man with a unique, wide-ranging taste in food.

So what did he eat while in there?

• Beef Sticks-162
• Honey Buns-40
• Summer Sausage-35
• Potato Chips-35
• Cups of coffee-22
• Fruit Punch-10
• Tuna fish sandwiches-10
• Jalapeno Cheese spread-9
• Tortillas-9
• Refried Beans-6
• Cookies-6

That's just some of what he ate. He also ordered some Reese's Peanut Butter cups, Butterfingers, Jolly Ranchers, Swiss Rolls, and pickles.

In other words, prison is a lot like college. Except there's no beer, and instead of picking up drunk college girls you shower with men.

Tank is Free at Last!

Chicago Bears defensive tackle Tank Johnson walked out of jail Sunday morning after serving 60 days of a 120-day sentence stemming from a probation violation. He was released early for good behavior.

Tank is scheduled to have a hearing with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell on Wednesday in New York and could face a multigame suspension by the league.

My favorite part? Tank's "get out of jail" outfit. Covering his oversized T-shirt was a humungous diamond-encrusted pendant in the shape of a 99, his jersey number. Cuz nothing says "I've learned my lesson" like bling the size of Texas.

I vote for an emergency "Queer Eye" makeover.

Tank Johnson Is Popular

There's an article in the Chicago Sun-Times today that talks about what Tank Johnson has been doing while serving his prison sentence.

He's been reading a bunch of books, including the Bears playbook, and spends his hour of recreation every day on the phone or in the shower. Most of the time though, Tank has been receiving visitors.

Johnson has received roughly 150 visits from family, friends and notables such as Bears Chairman Michael McCaskey and the Rev. Jesse Jackson, according to a visitors log from March 16 through May 6.

Coach Lovie Smith and more than a dozen Bears teammates -- including Rex Grossman, Tommie Harris, Devin Hester and Adewale Ogunleye -- have all come to say hi to the young man officials say is a "model inmate."

Linebacker Brian Urlacher stopped in twice with younger brother Casey.

On April 22, nearly 20 people showed up.

Noticeably absent from Tank's long list of visitors? His fiancee Lorri Chavez and of course, Lance Briggs.

Briggs feels that Tank is not paying him enough money to visit him in prison, and he wants to be the man.

The only reason I bring any of this up, is because of all the people that have visited Tank while he's in prison, his next visitor may be the most important. This Wednesday, May 16th NFL commissioneer Roger Goodell will be visiting the prison to have a nice talk with Tank.

Something tells me it won't be to lend moral support.

No, it's likely to be the first time we will all officially find out how long the NFL plans to suspend Tank. Here's hoping Tank has time to read up on how to hypnotize people. It's the only chance he has to get out of this situation.

Lovie on Tank: "This Is What Can Happen to a Good Guy"

Tank Johnson may be in solitary confinement but he's been getting some visitors, chief among them Bears coach Lovie Smith.

In an interview with Mike Mulligan of the Chicago Sun-Times, Lovie recounted some of the conversation he had with the Bears' defensive tackle, now serving a 4-month sentence for probation violations:

''I told him, 'Hey Tank, you're not a victim. Whether you should have gotten a lighter sentence or whatever, you put yourself in a position where this could happen to you. We have to turn this into a positive. Everything negative that happens in your life you have to turn into a positive, learn something from it and move on from there.''

Life in Cook County Jail has been no picnic for Johnson. Defensive tackle Tommy Harris, who has also visited, recently expressed concern that Johnson has lost an alarming amount of weight.

But Lovie believes the experience could be changing Tank for the better:

''I wish the judge would have known about the Tank now. 'Tank has moved on. He has grown so much. Little things. Guys with braids. You just don't say, 'Hey Tank, a visual sign of you changing would be to cut your braids.' How many guys would do that? Tank did. I asked Tank to do it. He did. 'Tank, the dogs. Get rid of the dogs.' He did. It's not like he's been a guy who comes into my office that I have to argue with, but again, he's in jail for certain things he's done and they actually happened. So there's nothing for us to say beyond the next step and that's what we're doing.''

Lovie said the meeting with Tank was designed to send him a message of hope and inspiration. But it's a good guess the timing of the Sun-Times interview was designed to send a message to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell during the NFL's annual meeting being held this week.

Smith undoubtedly wants to convince Goodell not to use Tank as his poster boy for promised new stricter personal conduct policy. Rumors have been floating that the NFL might be suspending Tank for eight games, perhaps the whole season.

Regardless, Smith said the Bears are committed to Johnson:

''What this has told me is that good guys can end up in jail. You make a couple mistakes, this is what can happen to a good guy.''

Tank Johnson's First Day at The Steel Door

If you're not filthy rich enough to find your way to The Golden Door in California may we suggest a cost-effective alternative?

The Steel Door in Cook County.


Located on 96 verdant acres in on beautiful California, we've been a haven for Illinois' elite celebrity thieves, murderers and rapists since 1929... and with this kind of treatment can you blame them for coming back time and time again?

Just look at the first day here for Tank Johnson, our newest celebrity at the facility.

Tank is receiving the gold standard of individual treatment starting with 23 uninterrupted hours of solitude each day. No phone. No television. Nothing to interfere with that oh-so-needed quality time to reflect on your past, your present, and your future.

But there's "fun time" too. Getting to know the other guests. Walks outside, water classes, light exercise and massages by our trained staff.

We at The Steel Door advocate a Zen simplicity. A tasteful uniform is provided and laundered daily. And the strict, cleansing diet is also modestly flexible. If weight loss isn't an absolute necessity, and you promise the guards seats on the 40-yard-line, a few supplemental morsels, like a cookie or boiled potato may appear on your plate at mealtime. But if you need to take off those pesky last couple pounds - and who doesn't? - you'll practically have to throw yourself at the cook's feet with an open checkbook to procure an additional cracker.

At The Steel Door, we pride ourselves on an environment designed to transform your life forever.

If you want to be like Tank, take a journey with us behind The Steel Door, and experience the special aura of this wellness destination spa.

For more information and reservations, please call 911.

Good News: Tank's Not Getting a Wife

Lucky for Tank Johnson, it appears he'll be doing his prison time for parole violations in solitary confinement. The Bears defensive linemen started serving his 120 days jail sentence on Friday.

Bill Cunningham, a spokesman for the Cook County sheriff's office, said Johnson is in a protective custody unit, which allows him to have his own cell and prevents him from having contact with other inmates. Cunningham described the move as a normal security precaution when dealing with well-known inmates.

This is probably for the best, given Tank's inititial experience when he entered the prison facility. According to one of the inmates, Tank looked straight ahead and didn't reply as,

"People was hollering his name, saying, 'Tank why don't you bond us out. Why didn't you win the Super Bowl?'"

With time off for good behavior - including a suitable explanation for the Bears' inability to adjust their defense against the Colts - Johnson could be released in 60 days.

Tank Johnson Is No Longer On House Arrest

Unfortunately for Tank, he'll be spending the next 120 days inside a prison cell.

That's the sentence Johnson received from Cook County Judge John Moran, along with a $2,500 fine for violating his probation. The ruling came after a two-hour hearing in Skokie that featured pleas on Tank's behalf from both Lovie Smith and Brian Urlacher.

Lance Briggs was also scheduled to appear, but decided to sit out the court hearing after he found out there would only be one. Briggs wants to know what he's doing all weekend, not just on Thursday.

Johnson was expectedly contrite during the appearance.

"In retrospect, I should not have had guns in the home," Johnson told the judge before being sentenced. "I assure you this: The man suggested by these charges is not me, by any stretch of the imagination."

The good news for Tank, if there is any, is that he can be released after 60 days with good behavior. So as long as he doesn't shank anybody in the shower, he could be out in time to get ready for training camp in August.

All in all, it's just another wonderful story for this Chicago Bears offseason. Be it Ron Rivera's exit, Lovie's contract, the Thomas Jones trade, or the aforementioned Lance Briggs, it's just been a great offseason to be a Bears fan.

After all this, I'm forced to look on the bright side, at least I haven't had to hear about Rex Grossman for a few weeks.

Tank Pleads Guilty

There are only three places Tank Johnson is allowed to go these days: football practice, his house and, of course, a courtroom.

That's where Tank spent much of Thursday, pleading guilty to violating his probation in a 2005 gun charge.

Cook County Judge John Moran denied a request to lift the player's home confinement, but said Johnson could leave his house to attend football practice. Moran delayed sentencing until March 15 so that a pre-sentencing investigation can be done.

Thursday's hearing came four days after the Indianapolis Colts beat the Chicago Bears 29-17 in the Super Bowl. The same judge had allowed Johnson to travel to Miami for the big game.

Dressed in a gray suit, Johnson arrived early for the hearing and signed autographs for fans while waiting for the courtroom to open. After the hearing, he left without speaking to news reporters.

Tank's defense lawyers called four character witnesses to the stands yesterday, including Cliff Stein, a Bears' attorney who handles player contracts.

Stein testified that Tank saved his job with the Bears by sharing with the team his plan for the changes he wants to make in his life.

"We're always going to look at the facts. But I would say, generally, he wouldn't have much of a future with the team if something else were to happen."

Tank's attorneys also submitted his plan as evidence, but asked the court to keep the document sealed. Trust me when I say, I'm doing everything in my power to get my hands on that plan.