Cheerleaders Will Jack You Up

It's been over a week since Victoria Lindsay was beaten by her fellow cheerleaders for "talking trash" on MySpace, and the she still has no hearing or vision in her left ear and eye while she recovers from her concussion.

And as teenagers are wont to do, the girls who beat her still have no real grasp of what they've done.

Following their arrests the girls joked in a holding cell. One asked if she would be able to make it to cheerleading practice the next day, while several others joked that they wouldn't be making it back to the beach anytime soon, he said.

"They seemed to have absolutely no remorse at all," [Sheriff Grady]Judd said. "They were just going to beat her. And beat her they did."

Thankfully, cheerleaders aren't just ridiculously violent, they're also incredibly stupid so they thought it would be a good idea to videotape the beating so they could get famous on YouTube. While they're laughing now, we'll see how funny they find it when the sheriff's office recommends that the State's Attorney charge the girls with felony kidnapping, felony battery, and false imprisonment.

Have fun in jail, princess. Maybe your 250-pound girlfriend can videotape the fun she has with you there, and then put that on YouTube as well!

(Via Busted Coverage)

The One Day A Year Cows Fight Back

Only last weekend you were flipping their charred remains on your Weber.

Well, thanks to the rank stupidity of a few thousand Spanish men, there was some bovine retribution in yesterday's running of the bulls at the Festival of San Fermin in Pamplona, Spain. Seven morons revelers were injured.

This makes the total for 2007 to date:
Bulls 7 Humans 6,312,002.



Yeah, I was gonna warn you this isn't for the squeamish but if you're one of them, to hell with ya. You're on your own.

thanks to FanHouse

And I'm Free, Free Fallin'

Michael Holmes is an Englishman who happens to enjoy sky diving. Still, I don't think that means he enjoys free falling from 14,000 feet and landing in a blackberry bush.

That's what happened to Mr. Holmes last December after his chutes became tangled. On Monday, he appeared on the Today Show to tell his story, and debut the video of the jump from his helmet cam.

His thoughts while falling to the earth below?

“Oh, shit! I'm dead. Bye.”

Sounds about right.

The worst part about all of this? Holmes plans on jumping again.

“I will certainly jump. It's what I do. I love it.”

Good to see the 14,000 foot drop didn't affect his thinking.

Listen, Michael, it's simple. When I was a boy (here we go again) my mom told me the stove was hot, and not to touch it. Being the rebellious young stallion that I was, I didn't believe her and had to find out for myself, so I touched the stove.

Guess what?

It was hot and it hurt like hell!!

You know how many times I've touched a hot stove since? Thirteen. But in my defense, I'm an idiot. Apparently, so are you. We should hang out sometime.