I-L-L! WHY GOD WHY!?

Okay, so I'd spent the last few weeks trying to convince myself that the Illini had a realistic shot at beating USC. I was doing a good job of it too, because the closer it got to gametime, the more I actually started to believe it.

Then about 5 minutes into the game, I realized that it just wasn't going to happen.

Let's be honest here, at the moment USC is probably the best team in the country. Before the season started everyone had them as the #1 team in the land, including myself, but thanks to a bunch of injuries the Trojans never fulfilled their expectations. The Trojans team the Illini lost to yesterday was the healthy version, and in case you couldn't tell, they're pretty good.

Also, if yesterday was the first time all season you watched the Illini, I promise you they aren't really that bad. I swear. There was absolutely no question about it, though, the Illini were completely outmanned and outclassed against USC.

As if the talent disparity wasn't enough, Illinois couldn't catch a break either.

Knock the hell out of a Trojan receiver and jar the ball loose? It only floats ten yards down field into the arms of Joe McKnight.

USC snaps the ball over their punter's head? He just picks it up and gets off a 45 yard punt anyway.

John David Booty overthrows Joe McKnight on a bubble screen? The ball just rolls and then bounces up into McKnight's arms and he scampers down the sideline for 65 yards.

Then when the Illini did move the ball down the field they would just shoot themselves in the foot with a turnover.

Still, despite the ass kicking the Illini received on Tuesday, there are still some positives that can be taken from this game. Now that Illinois has faced a great program like USC, they know how they stack up against the country's best. The problem with that though is it's now pretty apparent that Juice Williams may not be a very good quarterback.

Though it's hard to pin the blame all on Juice, as an offensive line that had been spectacular all season looked confused and hopeless against USC's front seven.

Obviously the star of the game for Illinois was the Big Ten Offensive Player of the Year, Rashard Mendenhall. Unfortunately, Rashard's huge day (17 carries, 155 yards, 1 touchdown) all but assures he's going to skip out on his senior season and enter the NFL draft where he'll be a first round pick. (Definitely still available at #14 where a certain team who needs help at running back will be.) I'm pretty scared as to what the loss of Mendenhall may do to an Illinois team that took such a huge step forward this season.

It's no secret that Rashard was the key to Illinois' offense all year, but the Rose Bowl only drove the point home emphatically. Mendenhall makes everybody else on that offense better because he's so good, and because he commands so much attention.

Without Rashard around next season, do you think defenses will live in fear of Juice?

But I don't want to dwell on the negative that comes from an embarrassing loss. This was still a very successful season for the Illini, one in which they exceeded everybody's expectations, including their own. They laid the groundwork for what hopefully will be a continuing trend of improvement in Champaign.

Of course, I thought the same thing after Illinois got to the Sugar Bowl in 2002, and the five years between then and yesterday's Rose Bowl weren't exactly much fun to watch.

Foul Balls

Lloyd Carr Should Have Retired Every Year - After four straight years of Michigan getting it's ass kicked in a bowl game, the Wolverines came out and surprised a lot of people by beating Florida in the Capital One Bowl.

Of course, the motivation came from the fact that it would be Lloyd Carr's last game as head coach in Ann Arbor before Rich Rodriguez takes over the program next week.

"It's extremely meaningful on a personal level," Carr said. "But the reason it's meaningful is because I can be in that locker room with the guys that did it. Our coaches put together a great game plan, our players executed. Of course, we were big so-called underdogs.

"To come up with that kind of effort and to find a way to win means that we have some memories that we're all going to be able to celebrate for years to come."

It's not very often you'll find me rooting for Michigan, or being grateful to Big Blue, but I'd like to thank them for yesterday's performance. With the way Illinois got pasted in the Rose Bowl, Indiana got worked by Oklahoma State, Wisconsin losing to Tennessee, and the fact that Ohio State will probably get killed by LSU, somebody in the Big Ten had to step up this bowl season.

So, thanks. I guess.

Brian Urlacher's Back Is Fine - The last few weeks of the season for the Bears were frustrating for me to watch. Over their final two games they looked like the team that went to the Super Bowl last season, and I couldn't help but wonder where the hell they'd been all season.

It held especially true for Brian Urlacher. In December Brian played like the #54 we're all used to seeing, racking up sacks, making interceptions, and just flying all over the field from sideline to sideline. If nothing else, it made me optimistic that his back troubles were finally starting to heal, and that maybe in 2008 Brian will get back to his old form.

Well, I can't predict the future, but Brian wants everyone to know his back will be fine.

"My back got blown way out of proportion," Urlacher said Monday before leaving Halas Hall. "It's fine. I won't need any surgery.

"If you look at the way I played the last few weeks, obviously it got a little bit better as the season went on. Early on, I didn't make as many plays as I should have. It didn't have anything to do with my back. I just didn't play well. That's all there is to it."

Of course, even though his back may be better next season, there's no telling how the absence of Lance Briggs will affect Brian's play.

Holy Crap: Illinois Is Going To The Rose Bowl

Okay, so it’s been a few days since we last met. I’m all moved into the new place now, and I have my internet back.

I have to tell you though, I missed out on a lot the last few days. I’d heard the news, courtesy of Panger, on Sunday night that Illinois was going to the Rose Bowl. At first I thought Panger was just messing with my head, but I saw it today on the internet, so it has to be true.

I’ll fully admit, I’m shocked that this has happened. I’m incredibly happy, but I’m shocked. Of course, I was just as shocked that West Virginia lost to Pitt on Saturday.

I figured that once Ohio State got bumped up to the title game that the Rose Bowl was going to take Georgia. Right now the two “it” teams in college football are USC and Georgia, so I thought that matchup would be too appealing for the Rose Bowl, and that they’d buck tradition for once. Luckily the BCS is such a mess this season thanks to parity in college football that crazy things like this can happen.

Think about this for a second. Illinois went 2-10 last season. Now they’ll be playing in the Rose Bowl for the first time since 1983. I expected the Illini to turn things around a bit this season, as you can see in my season preview, but I don’t think anybody expected this kind of a turnaround so fast.

I’m about ready to start my “Ron Zook For Jesus” campaign. Speaking of the Zooker, not even he thought any of this was possible.

''I told coach Guenther, if we weren't in the Rose Bowl at the end of three years,'' Zook said, ''he could get rid of me.''

Kidding aside, Zook said, ''I would have asked you what you'd been smoking,'' if anyone had suggested at training camp in Rantoul in August that this season would end in Pasadena.

''I'm so proud of our seniors,'' Zook said. ''They've never been to a bowl game. And now they're going to play in the 'granddaddy of them all.'''

The question now becomes, do the Illini have any shot in hell at beating USC? At first glance, I’d say no. I know USC lost to Stanford earlier this season-the same Stanford that lost to Notre Dame, just so you get an idea how “good” they are-but they did so without their starting quarterback. They’ve also had key injuries all season long, and hadn’t been healthy all season until their last few games.

Now that the Trojans are healthy, they look like the team everybody thought they’d be at the beginning of the season.

That being said, if the Trojans are going to play a team from the Big Ten, Illinois is probably the Big Ten’s best option.

We know USC would rip Michigan a new one because they did last year, and we saw how Ohio State handles big athletic teams last year in the title game against Florida.

Illinois on the other hand has the type of high powered rushing attack that could give USC’s defense fits. Juice Williams started developing into a real quarterback the last few weeks of the Big Ten season, instead of the running quarterback he had been all season.

Now whether or not the Illini defense is going to be able to keep the Trojan offense from putting up points, I’m not so sure. Still, the game is still a month away so I’ll have plenty of time to try and figure it out before then. So for now, I’ll just be happy that the Illini are finally getting the respect I’ve felt they deserved all season long.

As for the rest of the BCS, I really do feel bad for Missouri. I know they didn’t look very good against Oklahoma in the Big 12 title game, but they have a legitimate beef. After all, they’ve beaten both Illinois and Kansas this season, yet the Tigers didn’t get a BCS berth.

Illinois, meanwhile, is in the Rose Bowl, and Kansas is going to the playing Virginia Tech in the Orange Bowl. It doesn’t make much sense, but then again, when has the BCS ever made any real sense?

As for the title game of Ohio State and LSU, I can’t really argue against it because Ohio State is the best one loss team in the country, and LSU is the best 2 loss team. I fear that the Tigers are going to treat the Buckeyes much the way the Gators did last season, but it’s not my fault the BCS overvalued the Big Ten this season.

Foul Balls

So When Is The NFL Draft? - As for the Bears loss on Sunday, what can I really say? It hurt. Bad. Still, the Bears didn’t really deserve to win the game anyway.

The offense was able to move the ball down the field pretty consistently in the first half, but they kept bogging down in the red zone and settling for field goals.
Then there was the drop by Devin Hester, that if the catchbeen made, the Bears take a 14-0 lead and cruise to victory from there.

I couldn’t help but feel nervous after the Bears scored on their opening possession though, despite how good they looked. I haven’t had a chance to do the research completely, but generally when the Bears score early, they lose.

A few weeks ago against Seattle the Bears scored on their first drive for the first time this season, and lost. In Super Bowl XLI Hester returned the opening kick for a touchdown, and the Bears lost.

Notice the trend?

The good news is that this loss will finally kill any real talk of playoff chances because even though the Bears are only a game back record wise, there is a whole pile of teams between them and the Cardinals right now.

White Sox Clinch World Series Berth – The winter meetings began yesterday, and Kenny Williams has already gotten to work. After trading Jon Garland to Anaheim for Orlando Cabrera, and losing out on Torii Hunter (whom I’m still not convinced the Sox ever really wanted anyway), Kenny knew what he had to do.

The Sox were only one player away from getting back to the World Series in 2008, and Kenny went and got him yesterday.

The Chicago White Sox added depth to their inexperienced outfield Monday, acquiring Carlos Quentin from the Arizona Diamondbacks for minor league first baseman Chris Carter.

That’s right! We got Carlos Quentin!

Quentin is a lifetime .230 hitter in 138 Major League games with 14 home runs and 63 RBI as an Arizona Diamondback.

What’s the point in even playing out the 2008 season? Just give us our trophy now.
Meanwhile, we’ll let the rest of the league try and go after those crappy pitchers like Johan Santana, Dan Haren, and now Erik Bedard. Who needs those guys when you have Gavin Floyd?

The Patriots Barely Survive – New England’s bid to go undefeated nearly came to an end in Baltimore last night. Just one week after struggling at home against the Eagles, the Ravens gave the Patriots quite a scare on Monday.

The Patriots needed a last minute drive, which was helped by a few Ravens holding calls on 4th downs, to overcome a 24-20 deficit. Then with 44 seconds left, Tom Brady found Jabar Gaffney for an 8-yard touchdown to give the Patriots the win.
Of course, I didn’t actually watch the game because I didn’t have cable last night. So who knows? Maybe I just made all of that up.

Even though the Patriots are still 12-0 after last night’s win, the air of invincibility is gone. For the second week in a row they’ve struggled against sub-.500 teams, and they still have no running game.

Passing all the time may work when the weather is nice, but as we get later in the season, it can get you into trouble. Just ask Tom Brady who completed only 18 of his 38 passes. With a date against the Steelers looming next week, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Pats bid to go undefeated ends next week.

The Bulls Fall Short - The Basketball Diaries will return tomorrow because since I didn't have cable, I couldn't actually watch any games yesterday.

Just know that the Bulls poor shooting in the first half doomed them like usual, and they lost to Dallas 103-98. They're now 4-11, but on the bright side, they've won two of their last three!

She Wrote the Song that Made the Whole World Sing

There seriously must be an epidemic going on in Southern California.

It all started with Paris Hilton, then the virus spread to Lindsay Lohan, and just recently, Britney Spears.

When women go to Los Angeles, they leave their underwear at home.

It's a magnificent thing.

The latest to follow the trend appeared during yesterday's Rose Bowl.

The ABC cameras did a shot of the USC Song Girls when suddenly, this happened.

Afterward you could hear Kirk Herbstreit make a "hmmm." noise, as if he was already trying to figure out how to get a hold of her after the game.


This is why God invented TiVo. If it wasn't for TiVo, we would not have been able to rewind the game after seeing what we thought we saw. Then we wouldn't have been able to view the shot frame by delicious frame and take a picture of it with our digital camera.

We do this stuff for you, so you're welcome.

Oh, and USC beat Michigan 32-18 thanks to Dwayne Jarrett's 11 receptions 205 yards, and two touchdowns.