Asshole Of The Week: Rod Blagojevich

Welcome to Asshole Of The Week, where every Friday your trusty Foul Balls editor picks out the one person from the previous seven days who makes him think, "Man, what an asshole." It could be anybody from an athlete, an owner, someone in the media, or just anybody who happens to catch my ire.

Our inaugural Asshole is Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich.

I had the first Asshole Of The Week post written and all ready to go, with the maiden Asshole set to be NBA commissioner David Stern for the recent fiasco that is the impending move of the Seattle Supersonics to Oklahoma City. Then late on Thursday I saw a comment left in High Five from loyal reader and commenter, JayBandit. What was it about?

Well, Jay came across a blog post about our wonderful Governor Rod Blagojevich. Now, I've never been a big fan of Blago for various reasons. None of which really have anything to do with politics.

There's the fact that for some reason, even though he's the governor of the entire state of Illinois, he spends the majority of his time in Chicago instead of the state's capital, Springfield. A minor offense, sure, but it's an annoyance.

More recently, there was the law passed in the state of Illinois that prohibited smoking in public venues such as bars. As someone who smokes, and spends a lot of his time in bars, this pissed me off greatly. Aren't bars supposed to be a place where you can get away from the daily grind, and partake in some good old fashioned vice? Now I can't smoke there? What's next? No beer at baseball games?

Speaking of baseball, Blago's biggest crime before yesterday was the fact that he's a Cubs fan. No man that's in charge of the state where I live should root for the Cubs, because it's obvious from the onset that he can't be that intelligent. I don't want a loser running my state! I'm a winner! Illinois is a winner! We got corn, man! Corn! And soybeans!! We got plenty of hogs too, and they're all under the helm of some drooling Cubs fan.

Still, being a Cubs fan from Chicago is no reason to lose your life, or be named AOTW. I mean, I'm friends with plenty of Cubs fans, some of whom even write for this site. So if all the reasons above are horrible offenses, but not enough to be named Asshole Of The Week, why am I giving this "honor" to Blago?

Check this shit out, from the blog Urbanagora.

Urbanagora has learned from a credible source that Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is a closet Dallas Cowboys fan. Even though he occasionally bets on the Bears, Blagojevich has been known to require interns, even those from Chicago, to clip news clippings about the Dallas Cowboys.

Our source reveals:

"When I interned for Blagojevich, in addition to clipping quotes about Chicago and Illinois politics, I was told to pull everything I could find about the Dallas Cowboys. On days I only found stories on current Chicago and Illinois events, I was told to look for Cowboys stories, but I was never asked for news about the Chicago Bears."

You son of a bitch. A Cowboys fan? A fucking Cowboys fan!? In my state!? Are you telling me that the walls of the Governor's mansion are covered in Tony Romo posters? If I voted, I'd kill somebody right now.

This isn't something that the great people of Illinois should tolerate from their governor, you either root for the Bears or move to fucking Iowa. There's no in between. It's bad enough that the southern part of our state is littered with moronic Rams fans, but to let the virus that is the Cowboys infect us as well?

I have to agree with the guys at Urbanagora, fuck this Rezko nonsense, this is the only reason we need for a recall election.

Governor Rod Blagojevich: You're an asshole.

Lovie Smith: 'Barack Is My President'

In Lovie Smith's first three seasons as head coach of the Chicago Bears, we haven't really learned to much about the man. We know so little about him, in fact, that I'm not sure he isn't a robot. Think about it, he never shows any real emotion on the sideline (save for the end of the NFC Championship game), and he never shows any emotion with the media.

Which is why I was shocked when I read in the Sun-Times that Lovie is publicly supporting Barack Obama in his campaign to be the next President.

''I'm not neutral; I'm a big Barack Obama fan,'' Smith said Wednesday during a media breakfast at the NFL owners meetings. ''I believe in his plan for our future.''

Smith isn't saying if he believes in Obama's plan for the Bears future.

''He has some advice on the quarterback situation,'' Smith said with a laugh. ''We've talked. Most people from Chicago support the Bears, and he's definitely one. He's a die-hard Bears fan, and he'll let you know it, which is great.''

I don't spend much time here talking about politics, and there's a reason for it: I don't care. I will tell you that right now if I was going to vote (I'm not) for any of the three options come November, I probably would be voting for Obama. Not for any political reason though, but because he's a White Sox fan. (Though ever since my friend Kaleem sent me a picture of John McCain's daughter, my support has wavered.)

That last sentence alone should probably make you all grateful that I don't vote.

Just as long as Hillary doesn't win, because if I wanted a woman telling me what to do, I'd just get married.