Leryn Franco's Right Breast Would Like To Say Hi
Showing posts with label Olympics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Olympics. Show all posts
Monday, October 06, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
This Just In: China Cheats!
Have you ever seen the movie Hackers? It's great. It taught me a lot about the world of computer hackers, mostly that if you become one, you would get to hang out with Angelina Jolie while she wears mesh shirts with no bra. So obviously, when I was growing up, I wanted to be a hacker.
As I entered that world, though, I quickly found out things weren't exactly how I'd pictured them. Instead of Angelina Jolie walking around naked all the time, I was mostly surrounded by fat, socially inept white guys. So eventually I gave up the dream and decided to enter the much different world of sports blogging.
Well, some hackers decided to stick to their guns despite the lack of Jolie hotness, and for one it's paying off. A man claims he's found more proof that at least one of China's female gymnasts is not 16, as the IOC requires.
A new chapter in the ongoing controversy surrounding China's women's gymnastics team opened today, as search engine hacker stryde.hax found surviving copies of official registration documents issued by China's General Administration of Sport of China. The incriminating documents, expunged by censors from the official site and from Google's document cache, still appear in the document translation cache of Chinese search giant Baidu, here and here, showing the age of one of China's gold medal winning gymnasts to be 14 instead of 16, the minimum age for competition presented on her government issued passport. Now that official government documentation is available, how long will the IOC be able to keep a lid on this scandal?Unfortunately, I have no idea if what this hacker has found is real because I can't read Chinese, but others seem to think it's the real deal.
Still, I think this is something that we as a country should just drop. Okay, so our women's gymastics team lost the team gold medal. Oh well. The Chinese already paid us back for that anyway.
I mean, they did give Michael Phelps eight gold medals even though he only won seven events. So maybe we should just shut up about the whole thing before some Chinese hacker starts releasing photos of the finish of Phelps' seventh race.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Bela Karolyi Loves Him Some Humping Turtle
On Friday night NBC showed footage of Bela Karolyi watching Nastia Liukin's floor routine during the women's gymnastics event. Liukin's routine clinched the gold medal for her, and since he's fucking insane, Karolyi really enjoyed it.
Personally, I enjoy this version much better.
(Via With Leather)
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
The U.S. Men's Gymastics Team Is Really Annoying
I actually meant to write this post yesterday, but between the other stuff I had to write, didn’t have enough time, so you’re getting it today.
I was watching the White Sox game Monday night when the Red Sox started blowing the game open in the 9th inning, so I switched over to the Olympics.
Now, when it comes to my Olympics viewing choices, I tend to stick to swimming, women’s volleyball (wonder why?), water polo, track and field, basketball, and a couple of other sports. Unfortunately, at the time the only thing NBC was showing was the Men’s Gymnastics team final.
Nothing I like seeing more than five-foot tall men wearing bodysuits who could kick my ass. That being said, my only other option was to watch the White Sox bullpen blow, so I stuck with it.
The big news, aside from China winning the gold, was the performance of the United States team. Shortly before the Olympics began, the U.S. found out it was going to be without both Hamm brothers who are apparently pretty good, but decided to try and revive the old family beer brewing business instead of going to Beijing (either that or they suffered some kind of injuries).
Well, long story short, the Americans SHOCKED THE WORLD and took the bronze. It’s a good story, and one that should be celebrated, but frankly the only thing I wanted to do was punch every single one of the guys in the face.
Jesus Christ, were they annoying.
You see, while both the Chinese and Japanese teams got off to slow starts, the Americans came out strong. After the first three events (or rotations) the Americans were in first place, and that’s when the good old American bravado came out.
The best gymnast on the team, Jonathon Horton, was the worst offender. When he’d come off the mat and stand there awaiting his scores (which now take 50 times longer to compute thanks to the wonders of technology) he would talk to the camera, saying the same old stupid cliché bullshit we’re all used to hearing.
“Yeah, that’s how the United States rolls!”
“That’s how America does it!”
“U.S.A. Number one, baby!”
It became infectious. Within minutes, everyone on the team started doing it.
Now, I don’t have much of a problem with talking shit. When I’m competing against my friends in something and winning, I talk shit. A lot of it too. It’s just a natural phenomenon here in America, I guess.
What bothered me about the gymnastics team, though, is that they continued to talk shit even after they choked away their lead. While they were busy mugging for the cameras (and staging obviously fake “pep talks” where the cameramen would actually be inside the huddle that made me throw up a little in my mouth) the Chinese team was tearing it up.
As I said earlier, I don’t know much about gymnastics, but even I could see that the Chinese team was on a level far above anything the American team could ever dream of.
So after the fourth rotation, the Americans had fallen into second place.
Still, they talked shit.
After the fifth rotation the Americans remained in second with a pretty hefty lead over the Japanese and a huge advantage over the Germans (in other words, it was World War II out there). Obviously, they talked shit.
“We’re number one!”
The scoreboard says second, but okay, I’ll take your word for it.
When the US team went to the pommel horse for the final rotation, they needed a fuck up of epic proportions to fall out of medal contention.
Luckily, they were up to the challenge.
The first guy went. He fucked up. In fact, he fucked up so bad that his routine alone wiped away the three point advantage the Americans had over Japan , and they’d fallen into third place overall.
Still, they talked shit.
Then the next guy went, and guess what he did? That’s right, he fucked up. Now the Americans were in serious danger of being caught by the Germans who started the rotation a full 5.5 points behind, which in gymnastics is like being down 8 in the 9th inning.
Still, they talked shit.
Finally, the last guy goes, and apparently his dad was some great gymnast for Russia , and the whole thing was on his shoulders. Of course, his reputation in the world of gymnastics is one of a guy with a lot of talent who always chokes in the big moments.
This was a pretty big moment.
Yet, somehow, someway, he didn’t fuck up. It was the greatest performance on a pommel horse I’d ever seen (the previous two being the first ones I'd ever seen), and it was just enough to keep the Americans in third.
They won the bronze. Oh yeah, and they talked shit.
See, this is why the rest of the world hates us. Maybe I’m a maverick here, but I live by the words of the great legend of racing, Ricky Bobby.
If you ain’t first, you’re last.
These American gymnasts, though, even when they’re in China and just lost the gold medal to the Chinese team still ran their mouths like they’re the greatest things ever. It’s enough to make me hate this place.
Hey, guys, I know that you outperformed the expectations, but you finished in third place. Not first. Not second. Third.
In gymnastics.
I mean, let’s face it, gymnastics is for guys who want to play a sport in high school but are too afraid to play football or wrestle because they think they’ll get hurt. So instead, they wear unitards and fly through the air because, you know, that’s safe.
I’m not saying they aren’t terrific athletes, because they are. Almost as good as me in fact, but at the end of the day they’re performing in a sport Americans only care about every four years. And even then, they don’t care that much.
Trust me, when I went to work on Tuesday nobody asked me if I saw the men’s gymnastics the night before. Nobody sent me any texts or emails about it either.
Meanwhile, somewhere else in Beijing , Michael Phelps is winning gold medals and breaking world records like it’s the easiest thing to do in the world, and he hasn’t said a single derogatory word about anyone else. He’s not even pumping himself up, he’s just going out there and destroying people.
It’s an example the gymnastics team should learn to follow.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
4 
6