A Rough Draft

I'm going to get to my "expert" breakdowns of each Bears draft pick from over the weekend shortly, but before I do, I just want to express how much I hated this draft. While I don't really like taking offensive lineman in the first round, it's just not much fun, I completely understood and agreed with the move to take Chris Williams. Even if my heart wanted the Bears to go with local boy and Illinois standout Rashard Mendenhall.

Where I started to get pissed off was when Mendenhall was sliding down the board, and the Bears didn't take the opportunity to trade up and draft him. Instead, we ended up taking some running back I never saw play named Matt Forte in the 2nd round. Granted, he could turn out to be the next Walter Payton (nobody knew a damn thing about him when the Bears drafted him, either), but at this point I think Mendenhall would have been the better option.

Then after that, things got even worse. Instead of taking a quarterback, the Bears continued to live in denial and stick by Rex Grossman and Kyle Orton. Oh, and they decided to draft a bunch of guys who can't stay healthy, or have a history of disciplinary problems.

Fantastic.

Anyway, onto each pick in and of itself. Now, obviously, some of these guys I don't know very well, but I'll go off of what I read from places like Scouts Inc and what not.

1. Chris Williams-OT-Vanderbilt- Like I said earlier, I'm fine with this pick. The Bears biggest need in this draft was a tackle because, let's face it, it doesn't matter who your quarterback or running back are if there's nobody blocking for them. Williams is a guy who could be our starting left tackle when we open against the Colts, and he allows John Tait to move back to right tackle, and in one fell swoop the Bears improve their line in two areas. Oh, and don't give me the "he doesn't have a football demeanor" crap because he didn't get into a fight with some guy at the Senior Bowl. Yeah, because Orlando Pace, Jonathan Ogden and Willie Roaf were guys who tried to rip the heads off of d-lineman. Please, that's a bunch of crap. It's not a o-lineman's job to kill, it's his job to block.
2. Matt Forte-RB-Tulane- I've never seen Matt Forte run a single play in his college career. I just don't get to see to many Tulane games. From what I've read on him though, and I've read a lot, I hear he's a strong between the tackles guy who can move the pile, but doesn't really have the speed on the second level to break long runs. Gee, that's exactly what we need in our backfield, another guy who can't break a long run. I've also read comparisons to Edgerrin James though, and if that's even close to being true, welcome to the team, Matt!
3. Earl Bennett-WR-Vanderbilt- Bennett is a guy who I have gotten a chance to see play a bit in recent years, and the best way I can think of describing how he'll fit in the NFL is a Bobby Engram type guy in the slot, but with more speed. That's not a bad thing to have at all in my opinion. Does have a habit of dropping passes that are thrown behind him though, and with our quarterbacks, that's not a good thing.
4. Marcus Harrison-DT-Arkansas- Ladies and gentleman, meet Tank Johnson Jr. It was with this pick that the Bears started trending towards convicts and creampuffs. Harrison has a lot of talent, but when he wasn't spending his time injured much of the last few seasons, he was spending it getting busted for marijuana and ecstasy. Also, I was pissed off about this pick because John David Booty was still available, and I really wanted us to take another quarterback in this draft.
   
5. Craig Steltz-S-LSU- Steltz is a guy I saw a ton of in college. Here's what I like about him: he's an absolute ballhawk and playmaker of the Mike Brown type. He just has a knack for making big interceptions at very opportune times. The drawbacks are, just like Mike Brown, he's too slow to cover a slot receiver one on one, and will get burned deep by speedy NFL receivers. The one area he's not like Mike Brown? He's not worth much in run support.
6. Zack Bowman-CB-Nebraska- I haven't seen much of Bowman the last few years, but not because I haven't seen Nebraska play. No, it's because Bowman has spent the vast majority of the past two seasons on the sidelines balancing on a pair of crutches. Again, instead of taking a quarterback, the Bears decided to make a reach on a corner. He has good size and speed, but if he can't stay on the field, then what the hell is the point?
7. Kellen Lewis-TE-Michigan State- This move confused me at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I liked it. It seems odd that the Bears would draft another tight end after spending their first round pick on Greg Olson last season, but Lewis is nearly 6'7 and will provide a very big target for whoever's playing quarterback in the red zone. Plus, with our thin receiver corps, we can use all the hands we can get. He did get suspended for four games in college for assault though, but I guess that's good for his "football demeanor."
8. Ervin Baldwin-DE-Michigan State- Baldwin is another player from MSU that I'm familiar with, and he's the type of guy the Bears like at DE. He's quick off the edge, and can be very disruptive in the backfield, but he's not much at the point of attack when trying to stop the run. He's basically another Mark Anderson type, though not as strong a pass rusher.
9. Chester Adams-G-Georgia- I don't know much about Adams. Still, I don't think I have too because he'll be nothing more than depth on the line, and as a 7th round pick he's not exactly guaranteed a spot on the roster. In fact, he may be better off with a position change to tackle, where he may be better suited on the right side.
   
10. Joey LaRocque-OLB-Oregon State- Don't know much about LaRocque as I don't see much of Oregon State. From what I read though, he's slow and not very athletic. Oh, and he's had troubles with his hamstring. Sweet.
11. Kirk Barton-OT-Ohio State- Very familiar with Barton, and he's basically the opposite of Chris Williams. Not much of an athlete, but he does have a mean streak. Unfortunately, I think the only reason he's going to be getting angry in the NFL is because the defensive end he's trying to block keeps blowing by him. Just ask any defensive end from Florida or LSU the last few seasons.
12. Marcus Monk-WR-Arkansas- Loved this pick, excellent value at the end of the draft. I saw a lot of Monk at Arkansas. He's big (6'4) and ran a 4.45 forty, so though he's not a blazer, he's not slow either. He's also very sure handed and can get up in the air to go after the ball in traffic. In other words, he could prove to be a very valuable asset in the red zone and on third downs. Don't be surprised if he comes out of nowhere and gets some quality playing time, especially if he improves his route running.

The Bears Are Very Protective of Their Property

I think most of us have been there. You're dating a girl, and you have been for a while. Things have gone pretty well for the most part, but lately, lately things have been a little rough. She is looking for more from you, and honestly, you're just not ready to make that type of commitment. You're still young! You've all sorts of adventures waiting to be had!

So you start fighting a lot more often, nothing major, but sometimes in public in front of all your friends. Then one night when you're out at your friend's party after a fight with her, you see she's on the other side of the room flirting with that asshole from accounting.

Now you're pissed.

You walk right over to that douchebag CPA and let him know he's not to mess with your girl. She's yours.

You know what I'm saying, right?

Well, that's exactly what the Bears did, except it wasn't their girlfriend exactly, it was Lance Briggs. And the CPA was the San Francisco 49ers, and instead of letting the Niners know how they felt, they ran to their mommy to take care of it for them. And mommy did just that.

The NFL found the 49ers guilty of tampering with the Bears linebacker last season and punished the NFC West team Monday by taking away its fifth-round selection in the April 26-27 draft. San Francisco violated the league's anti-tampering policy by contacting Briggs' agent, Drew Rosenhaus, last season without the Bears' permission.

Briggs was on a one-year tender as the team's franchise player. He declined to comment when reached by phone Monday. Rosenhaus did not return a message.

What's even better? Not only do the Niners have to give up their 5th round pick for lookin at out girl, but they have to swap their third round pick (7th of round) with ours (12th of round). So not only do we keep our girl, but we took their beer and copped a feel on his wife! We're total bad asses right now, and if our lady doesn't want to be with us anymore, there are 20 other girls at the party that wouldn't mind changing places with her.

The moral of the story here, kids, is always tattle. Everybody loves a tattler, and good things come to those who snitch.

The Bears Love Their Quarterbacks

With Rex Grossman getting a one-year deal over the weekend, a move I actually don't mind that much despite yesterday's post, it brought up some questions as to what the Bears are really planning on doing with the quarterback position next season.

They answered part of it last night when they announced they'd also signed the league's best Neckbeard to a one-year extension as well.

The Bears and quarterback Kyle Orton agreed to a one-year contract extension through 2009. Orton, who is 12-6 as a starter with the Bears, will compete with Rex Grossman for the starting job. Grossman agreed to a one-year contract rather than testing the free-agent market.

Orton finished the season as the Bears' starter, leading the team to victory in the final two games. He set a team rookie record with 10 wins in 2005.

I'm also willing to bet that Brian Griese will be released in the near future before he's due a $300,000 roster bonus.

So who is the third quarterback going to be? For anyone who had been holding out hope that the Bears would work out a deal with the Eagles this offseason for Donovan McNabb, that scenario looks less likely every single day. I haven't even heard news that the Bears have had contact with the Eagles, let alone have begun to work out a deal for Donovan.

There's still a possibility that the Bears can sign Cleveland's Derek Anderson, as Anderson and the Browns have until Thursday to work out a deal, or Derek gets to shop himself around. The Browns have reportedly offered a three-year deal, but even if they don't come to terms they'll still tender him a contract, and be given the right to match any offer Anderson gets on the free agent market.

Though with all the needs this Bears team has, I'm not sure they're going to be willing to spend a big chunk of their cap space on a new quarterback. No, the fact that they've re-signed both Grossman and Orton to one-year deals tells me that they'd like to draft a quarterback in this year's draft and hope that either Orton or Grossman don't mess things up too badly this season.

Always a comforting thought.

I'm guessing the Bears won't want to draft a quarterback in the first round. Mostly because there really isn't a quarterback in this year's draft still available when the Bears pick that's worth a first-round pick, not to mention the fact that a first round quarterback selected in this city is doomed to fail anyway. With the amount of hatred out there for Grossman right now, whichever quarterback the Bears drafted would be expected to lead the team to the Super Bowl, cure cancer, and land the 2016 Olympic bid before he ever set foot on the field.

All of which means that no matter what he did, he'd be a failure.

Of the quarterbacks that may or may not be available in later rounds, I personally like Chad Henne, but he scares me at the same time. He's a big guy (though he's only 6'2), with a good arm, but he does lack mobility and he seemed to struggle in big games in college. Does that sound like anybody on the Bears roster you already know?

After Henne there's Delaware's Joe Flacco, who I've never seen play so I can only go off what the scouts say. He is 6'6 though with a good arm, good footwork, and he seems to be able to sense a pass rush pretty well and move out of the way. The bad news? He played in a shotgun oriented offense and had trouble handling snaps at the Senior Bowl.

Oh, and there's the fact he played at Delaware, so who knows how in the hell he'll adjust to the NFL game.

The thing that matters here is that no matter how things turn out, the Bears aren't going to be bringing in a new quarterback that's ready to take over the offensive reins this season. We're just going to have to suffer through another season of praying our quarterback doesn't mess things up too badly.

Luckily, since we're Bears fans, we're all used to it.

Then in the 5th round the Bears will draft Anthony Morelli out of Penn State just because he didn't torture me enough while he was in college.

FanHouse: Rashard Mendenhall Is Going Pro

It shouldn't come as a shock to any of you, but Illinois running back Rashard Mendenhall is going to declare for the NFL draft.

He has a press conference scheduled for Thursday at Niles West to make the announcement.

Darius Walker Is Shocked

I wasn't exactly sure what made Darius Walker think leaving Notre Dame after his junior season to enter the NFL Draft was a good decision, but it was a decision he made, and now he has to live with it.

In case you weren't aware, Walker signed a contract with the Chicago Bears. Why? Because he never got drafted. Not even in the seventh round.

Walker, did not see this coming.

“Shocked, shocked,” he said Tuesday, when asked to describe his general reaction. “It’s kind of hard to believe, to be honest with you. How does a guy that’s fourth on the all-time rushing list for Notre Dame not get drafted?”

I have to admit, I was surprised too. Of course, I figured Walker would go no higher than the third round at best. The fact is he's not that fast, and he's kind of small, so really he would have been better off with another year at Notre Dame under Charlie Weis.

So who put the idea into Walker's head that he was ready for the NFL? I wonder...

"Even if he ran a 4.7, he should have been drafted,” said Walker's father. “To me, as a father, he deserved to be drafted very highly. I’m not even talking about the second day. I was disappointed he didn’t go the first day. He deserved to be on the first day."

I hope you youngsters are paying attention to this story, because it carries with it a very valuable lesson. Never listen to your parents. They have absolutely no idea what they're talking about because they're old.

Meet The Bears Draft Picks

The draft is a hell of a lot more boring when you have to wait around 6 hours before the Bears finally get to pick.

As far as my thoughts on this draft, to be honest I don't have many. I'm very happy with the Greg Olsen pick in the first round because I don't ever remember the Bears having a tight end before. Especially a tight end with the skill that Olsen has.

Other than that, I was kind of upset that we traded the 37th pick. There were a couple of wide receivers I wouldn't have minded seeing the Bears take. Particularly Dwayne Jarrett, because Muhsin Muhammad will not be getting any younger this season, and Jarrett could have been a valuable replacement there.

As for the rest of the draft, I'm sure I'm alot like you when I read the names and think, "Who?" That's just the way Jerry Angelo drafts. You never know who the hell you're getting, but they always turn out pretty well.

With that in mind, I did some research on the newest Bears and came up with some info on each to help us all get to know them.

1. Greg Olsen - TE - Miami - 6'6 254lbs - Greg is from New Jersey and runs really fast. He can also catch, so if Rex Grossman can actually see him wide open down the middle of the field, he might become a huge weapon for the Bears. He's not much of a blocker at the moment, but those things can be taught. FUN FACT: During the famed Miami/FIU brawl last season, Olsen was able to club three FIU players with his helmet all while getting the phone number of that hot Cuban chick in the third row.
2. Dan Bazuin - DE - Central Michigan - 6'3 266lbs - Bazuin is one of those leaner defensive end that the Bears covet so much for their scheme. He's the CMU all-time leader in tackles for loss (60) and sacks (33). FUN FACT: Bazuin hails from McBain, Michigan, but he's not the most famous person from the town. Rainier Wolfcastle, who plays McBain in the series of crime drama films, also hails from McBain which was called Covington before Wolfcastle bought the town with a royalty check and renamed it.
3. Garrett Wolfe - RB - Northern Illinois - 5'7 186 lbs - Wolfe is a local boy from Chicago, and played just a stones throw away in DeKalb. Not only was Wolfe a dynamic running back for the Huskies, he also caught passes and returned punts and kicks. FUN FACT: On windy days Wolfe can literally hold his arms out and glide through the air. He'll look to use this tactic at Soldier Field to keep from being crushed by giant men.
4. Michael Okwo - LB - Stanford-5'11 232 lbs - Okwo is actually a very underrated player. Since he played for Stanford, nobody knows who he is, but he was highly touted coming out of high school and didn't disappoint in Palo Alto. Could end up being Lance Briggs' replacement. FUN FACT: Makes a mean Creme Brulee.
5. Josh Beekman - G/C - Boston College - 6'2 313lbs - Beekman was one of the best lineman the Eagles have had in recent years. Here's hoping he was better than the last lineman the Bears took from BC, Marc Columbo. FUN FACT: During last year's spring practice Beekman bench pressed Doug Flutie 225 times, and then threw him 50 yards.
6. Kevin Payne - S - Louisiana Monroe - 6'0 220lbs - Payne went to a small school, but was regarded by NFL scouts as one of the best athletes in the country. The Bears have had a lot of success with defensive backs from the small schools in the Louisiana area, and look to continue that trend with Payne. And let's remember, Payne is a great name for a safety. FUN FACT: Former President of the Britney Spears Fan Club, but resigned after Britney got fat, drunk and bald.
7. Corey Graham - CB - New Hampshire - 6'0 195lbs - Another DB from a small school. Graham is a playmaker, something that carries through any level of play. Also can return kicks. FUN FACT: Once ate two gallons of New England Clam Chowder in a single sitting on a bet.
8. Trumaine McBride - CB - Ole Miss - 5'9 185lbs - Doesn't have great hands but has very good technique and breaks up a lot of passes. Was the teams "shutdown corner." FUN FACT: During his freshman year he intercepted Eli Manning 4 times in one practice and then had his way with Manning's girlfriend.
9. Aaron Brant - OT - Iowa State - 6'7 319lbs - Considered the Cyclones best lineman, and started last season as the 13th best tackle in college football, according to The Sporting News. FUN FACT: Has a cat named Nibbles which he dresses up in all the latest in cat fashion while putting on shows in the locker room for all his teammates.

The Bears also signed undrafted free agents Chris Leak and Darius Walker. Leak won a National Championship with Florida, and will now once again follows in Rex Grossman's footsteps.

As for Darius Walker, I'm sure he's not regretting that decision to leave Notre Dame early now.

The Quest for Brady Quinn's Pride

There he was, front row center with his proud family, dressed to the nines, all smiles, waiting for his coronation.

Then, in a single moment, Brady Quinn went from The Chosen One to the kid who gets picked last in dodge ball.

In an inexplicable decision, the Miami Dolphins took their ninth round pick and used it, not to take Quinn, but OSU wide receiver Tedd Ginn, Jr.

Quinn sat stoicly in front of the cameras, but he was clearly suffering, twisting in the wind. It was so uncomfortable, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell finally invited Quinn and his family into a private suite to shield him from the media.

For awhile, Mel Kiper, Jr. railed about the absurdity of Miami's decision.

Then the commentator fangs came out and suddenly, every other sentence contained the name "Brady Quinn."

Kornheiser was seemingly upset for the guy but you could see he was secretly like a member of the chess club who finally got a free shot at the quarterback, chirping that to witness Quinn sitting there unchosen was like "watching a train wreck."

ESPN put up fan polls to gauge just how low Quinn would go. (Because everyone knows the place to go for draft predictions are half-drunk, Irish-hating couch potatoes.)

Sean Salisbury declared that Quinn has made repeated mistakes when it matters and "is solid but not special." (Unlike Sean, Junior, no doubt.)

And in my favorite moment, Michael Smith reported, I swear to God, that scouts don't like Brady Quinn's name.

Hey, guys? Never, ever make fun of us women again for vacuous chatter.

Who knows where he'll go. At this point, The Snub is all anyone's gonna be reporting on tomorrow.

It'll be up to Quinn to see what they'll be reporting on in five years.

News Flash: Mel Kiper, Jr. Is Almost Ready to Go on Vacation

Let the games begin. If you want to stay current on draft choices, Deadspin is doing brilliant live play-by-play.

Two straight days of Chris Berman. It's time to start drinking.

Here's To Super Bowl LXIII

Wow, cuz things just can't get any better for us Bears fans right now.

The Chicago Bears have traded Thomas Jones and their second round draft pick (63rd overall) to the New York Jets for their second round pick (37th overall).

Initial reaction?

FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKK

After thinking about it for a while?

FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKK

More on this tomorrow, I'm really too shocked to think about this right now.

("Thanks" to Silvio for the tip)

They Don't Call it Tecmo Super Bowl for Nothing

There are all sorts of people and computers out there trying to tell you who's going to win Super Bowl XLI.

The fact is that these people, myself included, know absolutely nothing about anything remotely resembling football. We're all idiots.

There is only one way to know who's going to win the Super Bowl, well, besides playing the actual game.

That true path is through Tecmo Super Bowl.

Tecmo knows.

Notre Dame Has Even More Rebuilding to Do

A few problems are pretty obvious for Notre Dame going into next season. First is finding a replacement for Brady Quinn. Just as important is adding speed to a defense, particularly the secondary, that was beaten by offenses all season.

And now it looks like the Irish are going to need to find a new running back too.

According to a source inside Notre Dame, Darius Walker will be announcing that he's leaving school early to join the NFL Draft. A press conference is scheduled for later today.

Walker ran for 1,267 yards and 7 touchdowns this season. He also had 56 receptions for 391 yards and a touchdown.

If there's any good news to come from this, it's that the same source says Walker will be the only member of the junior class leaving early this season.

Elsewhere in college football, a few other juniors have declared for the NFL draft: running back Adrian Peterson of Oklahoma; quarterback JaMarcus Russell of LSU; and wide receiver Dwayne Jarrett of USC.

Ohio State WR Ted Ginn Jr. is still considering it. Ginn's sprained foot could play a role in his decision, since he probably won't be able to work out for teams for awhile.

Any junior that wishes to declare himself for the draft, must do so by Monday.

Matt Millen Just Smiled

Georgia Tech wide receiver Calvin Johnson has announced that he will be skipping his senior season, and enter the NFL draft.

Johnson is likely to be the first receiver taken in the draft. The 6'5 235 pound Johnson had 76 catches for 1,202 yards and 15 touchdowns this season.

He was a 1st Team All-American, and won the Biletnikoff Award this season as the nation's top receiver.

"It was the logical thing to do. He would have been doing himself a disservice if he didn't go."

-Johnson's father, Calvin Johnson Sr.

Meanwhile, ESPN reported that LSU QB JaMarcus Russell was also going to skip his senior season for the draft. But now The Big Lead has picked up a story in which Russell's mother says her son hasn't made any decision yet:

"ESPN called again today and they tried to get me to say something that I wouldn’t. Then they asked me if I could tell them which way JaMarcus is leaning. And I said, ‘Yeah, he’s leaning toward staying, and he’s leaning toward leaving. I don’t know where ESPN is getting their information, but I know JaMarcus has not decided what he’s going to do yet. He hasn’t told anybody he’s going.”

-Zina Russell-Anderson

Just remember folks, even though ESPN has developed a nasty habit of reporting things that aren't entirely true, it's the evil bloggers that you can't trust.

The Brady Bowl

The permutations and combinations that will clinch playoff berths for NFL teams are just too exhausting to contemplate.

Besides, the real question is, Oakland or Detroit?

Yes, sports fans, The Quest for Brady Quinn is coming to an exciting conclusion with the Raiders and the Lions as our two finalists.

Here are the scenarios for each team to end up with first pick in the draft next year (we strongly recommend taking two aspirin before reading this):

"The easiest way for Oakland to get the top pick would be by losing to the New York Jets while Detroit beats the Dallas Cowboys.

"If both Detroit and Oakland have the same result this week, it goes to the tiebreaker. The teams on Detroit's schedule have 127 victories so far, while the Raiders' opponents have 131.

"If both Detroit and Oakland lose, the gap would narrow by one win based on Dallas beating the Lions. Since the Jets would have played both teams, that game would have no impact on the tiebreaker.

"There are eight other games that will play into the strength of schedule tiebreaker. The Lions would be assured of winning it if two of Oakland's AFC West rivals win this week. Kansas City hosts Jacksonville, Denver hosts San Francisco, and San Diego hosts Arizona.

"If one AFC West team wins, the Raiders would get the edge in the tiebreaker with wins by Miami, New England, Atlanta, Buffalo and Minnesota. If all three AFC West teams lose, Oakland's chances would increase a little more."

Detroit or California in November?

Not hard to guess what Brady's likely hoping for.

Despite Art Shell's protestations to the contrary, you can be sure what Oakland's hoping for.

And we're guessing a lot of San Francisco fans are hoping for it too.


(I wipe the floor with your Tara Conner.)