Showing posts with label Joakim Noah. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joakim Noah. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Joakim Noah Is Lucky He's Only Been a Bull for One Season

Over my four-day weekend I heard what was probably the most shocking news of my entire life. Joakim Noah was busted in Gainesville, Florida for walking around with a cup full of cognac, and he had a joint hidden inside a pack of cigarettes in his pocket.

I just couldn't believe it. Joakim Noah smokes cigarettes!? How can anybody in the NBA get up and down the court if they have a smoking habit? I smoke, and when I'm playing basketball with my friends, I'm usually pretty winded after five trips up and down the court. Luckily for me, as my friends and I get older, I find I'm not the only one walking up the court most of the time.

What didn't shock me was the fact that Joakim had a joint on him. I mean, anyone who has ever heard Noah speak or saw the way he dressed at the NBA draft knew that guy enjoys a toke from time to time. The idea of an NBA player getting high doesn't really surprise anybody.

Of course, another thing that hasn't surprised me is the reaction that this story has gotten in the Chicago media. I'm kind of confused here, where is all the outrage? Jay Mariotti wrote a column about it today, but the bulk of it is centered around the NBA's marijuana problem as a whole (including a bit where Jay admits he dabbled in the demon weed as a young man), and not on Noah.

Where's the column demanding that the Bulls release Noah right now, as he is dragging the team down with his constant marijuana abuse and immature behavior?

I seem to remember seeing a lot of columns written by a lot of different Chicago columnists the last few weeks telling me that Cedric Benson needs to be released twenty minutes ago.

Let's compare what the two players did. Benson was on a boat with family and friends having a good time on Lake Travis. The same Lake Travis where there are constantly people out on their boats drinking with family and friends having a good time. Benson was accused of being drunk and disorderly with the cops, and got pepper sprayed. Cedric says he was 100% cooperative, and that the cops were the ones who were wrong. So far Benson has had a few witnesses come forward and support his claims. Not to mention that the police have audio of what actually happened out there that day, but for some reason, they don't want to release the tape.

Joakim was walking down the street with a cup of cognac and a joint in his pocket.

Both are exactly the type of thing you'd expect a college kid to get busted doing, and whether or not Cedric is telling the truth, neither arrest is really that big of a deal. A sign of stupidity or immaturity on Joakim's part, sure, but nothing major.

Yet after the Benson story broke, there were all those columns about how the Bears need to just cut their losses and move on from the Cedric Benson Era. Aside from Mariotti's column, I haven't seen anything remotely close being written about Noah, even though he's had just as many run ins with coaches and teammates in his lone season as a Chicago Bull as Cedric's had his first few seasons with the Bears.

I guess the lesson here is it's okay to break the law and act immature, just as long as you haven't been labeled a bust yet.

Ballhype: hype it up!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Joakim Noah Speaks Out

As has been clearly evidenced by the complete lack of Bulls coverage here the last few weeks, I'm done with the NBA season until the the playoffs start. In a way, you could say I've quit on the team. Though you couldn't blame me for it, because the team quit on itself a long time ago.

Just this week the Bulls have lost to a D-League team in the Miami Heat, and they got blown out by an Orlando Magic team last night that has absolutely nothing left to play for. Yet, at no point during either of those games did it seem like the Bulls even had the slightest interest in winning the game, and therefore, I have no interest in seeing them play.

And fans like myself aren't the only one growing frustrated with this team. Just listen to what Joakim Noah had to say after last night's loss.

"It's a disease, and it spreads throughout the whole team," Noah said calmly. "It's just really, really hard right now because regardless what we do, there's no light at the end of the tunnel, especially for this season.

"We're not really playing with a lot of pride and respect for the jersey. It's just hard because you can't point at anybody individually. It's just our togetherness as a team is just bad. You can talk about Florida. But if you're a Bulls fan, I'm not a champion anymore. We're losers. We lose. That's all we do. That's all there is to say.

"There's going to have to be a serious team talk before the end of the year about our approach to every game and things that are going to be tolerated and not tolerated. Not little stupid things. I'm talking about winning and the sacrifices that need to be done to win."
Oh wait, there's more.
"I don't know what's going to happen next season, who is going to be here and who is not," he said. "But we have to perform. We're just not putting the effort out there and making the sacrifices to win.

"Is there a nucleus right now? Not the way we've been performing. Is there potential? Yeah, but there's potential on every team in the NBA. That doesn't mean anything at the end of the day. The only thing that matters is W's and L's."
Anyone see anything wrong with this? No, I'm not talking about the fact that a rookie is saying these things. I love the fact Joakim is talking like this, because at least he cares. What I want to know is where are Ben Gordon, Luol Deng, and Kirk Hinrich in all of this? Aren't they the veterans? Aren't Ben and Lu both playing for long term deals this summer? Doesn't Kirk already have that long term deal?

Where the hell is the drive in this team? I don't know if they just completely revolted against Scott Skiles, and then they continued it when the inept Jim Boylan took over or what, but this has been one of the most pathetic Bulls seasons I think I've ever lived through. Yes, that includes the years after MJ left, because those teams were supposed to suck.

This team has a ton of talent, and they've just chosen not to use it this year. It's fucking sad.

Everything Joakim said is dead on, and I can only wish that somebody else on this "team" cared half as much as he did.

Ballhype: hype it up!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Running With the Bulls: A High Stakes Game of One-on-One Part 2

If you haven't read Part One, none of this is going to make sense. Though to be fair, it probably won't make sense if you have read it.

When we last left the Chicago Bulls, John Paxson and Joakim Noah were about to kill each other, and coach Boylan went and got Ben Wallace to save the day. Oh, and Kirk Hinrich got thrown out of a second story window.

Now, the exciting conclusion.



Location: Hyatt Regency, Orlando, FL.

Date: Tuesday January 15th 1:37PM


(John Paxson's hotel room where he and Joakim Noah continue to argue)



Joakim Noah: Come on, Mr. Paxson? A high stakes game of one-on-one for our lives? How do we die? It's basketball!


John Paxson: It's simple! We play to 11, and the winner gets to shoot the loser in the face.

JN: Jesus Christ, bitch. Isn't that kinda harsh?

JP: It's basketball!!

JN: Do we even have a gun?

JP: Of course, I carry one at all times. It's under my pillow.

JN: Ok! Enough of this bullshit! I ain't playing for my life, bitch. I get it. I'll start getting to practice on time. I'll keep my mouth shut. I'll fall in line.

(Paxson pulls out a gun from his waistband)


JP: NO YOU DO NOT GET IT, JOAKIM NOAH. YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY GET IT JOAKIM NOAH. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT BASKETBALL IS. WHAT BASKETBALL EMBODIES. WHAT BASKETBALL TURNS YOU INTO. YOU CAN NOT KNOW WHAT BASKETBALL IS FOR YOU HAVE NOT PUT IT ALL ON THE LINE, JOAKIM NOAH. YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED FOR YOUR LIFE.

JN: k.

JP: SO YOU WILL PLAY ME NOW, JOAKIM NOAH.....

(Ben Wallace kicks down the door to Paxson's hotel room)


Ben Wallace: Ben Wallace commands you to stop this crazy bullshit right now! Ya hear Ben Wallace!?

JP: Get out of here, Ben. THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU.

JN: Dude, bitch. I'm trying to get him to stop! He's lost his mind!!

BW: All of you shut up! We will put an end to this foolishness right here and now! You have both forgotten what basketball is all about! Basketball isn't about blastin' dudes in the face, or puttin' your life on the line. It's about something bigger than that. It's about a group of people coming together for one common goal. Sacrificing themselves for the group they have chosen to fight with. Only then can we rise up to the mountain top, and bring home the NBA championship. We owe it to ourselves, to work hard and maintain focus, and not fight about foolishness, and become the champions that Ben Wallace knows we all are. But most importantly, we do it for the fans. The fans that come out everyday to support us, and give us their hard earned dollar so that we may play for them. We owe it to them. And even more importantly than the most importantly, we owe to the great city we belong to. A blue collar city that's all about hard work. We owe it to Detroit!

(blank stares)


Jim Boylan: Actually, we play in Chicago, Ben. But that sure was a great speech!!

BW: Ben Wallace play in Chicago?

JB: Yes.

BW: El hijo de una ramera


Ben Wallace's Headband: You's a dumb motherfucker.

JN: Screw that, Ben Wallace is still right. I've learned my lesson here today. I've learned that there are things that are more important than what I want to do. I'm supposed to be a professional now, and I'm going to start working harder. I'm going to strive to be a better basketball player to not only help my team, but to help make myself a man. Thank you, Ben Wallace. Thank you for showing me the way.

BW: Oh shit, it's nothing, man. Ben Wallace is here to help.

JP: Wow, I'm sorry Joakim. I don't know what came over me. I guess I'm just under a lot of pressure lately because after Ben threw coach Skiles out the window, the onus of this is on me. I'm so sorry.

JB: It's okay, boss!

JP: NOBODY TOLD YOU TO SPEAK!!

(Paxson shoots Boylan in the arm)


JB: Won't happen again, boss!!

JN: You should probably get that looked at, coach. Let me take you to the trainer's room!

(Joakim takes coach Boylan to the trainer's room, and Ben Wallace and his headband go back to their room)


BW: It sure do make Ben Wallace feel good to be the hero! I make a great leader of this team.

BWH: Uh huh.

BW: You wanna watch Bukkake Bonanza 13 now, because there's nothing Ben Wallace loves to do more after being a hero than masturbate!

BWH: No man, I'm not in the mood anymore.

BW: But why not, Headband?

BWH: That shit you said in Paxson's room. That was the gayest shit I ever heard in my life. "People coming together for one common goal." My fucking logo shrunk that shit was so gay, how the hell can I jerk off now?

BW: Whatever then.

(Ben Wallace puts a pillow on top of his headband, and enjoys Bukkake Bonanza 13)

(...as for Kirk Hinrich)



Kirk Hinrich: Help.

Coach Boylan: Here, have a Werther's Original!

The End

Ballhype: hype it up!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Running With the Bulls: A High Stakes Game of One-on-One

As I made clear yesterday, I'm just about finished caring about the Bulls this year. I don't know if it's the team itself, or the collective effort of every major sports team in Chicago this last year, but I just don't care anymore. This team is a joke this season, so I've decided to make them an ongoing joke here at Foul Balls.

So today I introduce a new series I'll be running here at Foul Balls called Running With the Bulls. I mean, if we can't enjoy them, we may as well laugh at them right?


Location: Hyatt Regency, Orlando, FL. John Paxson's room
Date: Tuesday January 15th 1:15PM


(Bulls general manager John Paxson awaits Joakim Noah in his suite. Jim Boylan is sitting on the couch. Joakim was supposed to be there at 1:00PM)



John Paxson: Where the fuck is this kid. Has he learned nothing? He's already 15 minutes late.

Jim Boylan: I saw him in the lobby a while ago boss, he's probably just caught up with the fellas!

JP: Well he's supposed to be in here. We need to have a talk about him maturing as a man.

JB: I'm sure he'll be fine boss! He brings much needed energy!!

(Joakim enters the office)


Joakim Noah: What up, bitches!? Sorry I'm late. We were having a players only meeting to gameplan for tonight's game against the Magic. We're going to try and force Dwight Howard to take jump shots and attack him on the defensive end.

JB: That sounds fantastic, Joakim!

JP: No it doesn't. Joakim, it's the coaching staff's job to come up with a gameplan, not the teams. The team is supposed to do what they're told.

JB: Oh, don't be so hard on him, boss! He's only trying to help. He brings such a youthful exuberance to the locker room and the court!!

(Paxson shoots Boylan a death stare)


JP: As I was saying.....Joakim. Let coach Boylan and his staff come up with the game plans, and you start worrying about making yourself the best basketball player you can be.

JN: How the hell am I supposed to do that if you people keep benching me? So I yelled at coach Adams. So what? Ben Wallace threw coach Skiles through a window. He didn't get suspended.

JP: You don't worry about Ben Wallace! You worry about Joakim Noah!

JN: That's so unfair! Ben gets to do whatever the hell he wants, and nobody punishes him.

JP: Ben is a veteran, he's earned that right. You still have to put in the time.

JN: This is bullshit.

JP: What's that?

JN: I said, this is BULLSHIT. The rules here are bullshit, this team is bullshit, everything is bullshit!

JB: Now, now, fellas. Let's not make a big ol' fuss! Who wants a Werther's Original!?

(Boylan pulls out a bag of Werther's Originals from his pocket)

JP: Boylan! Get the fuck out of my room.

JB: But why....

JP: Now!!!

JB: Yessir, boss!! Later, Joakim!

(Paxson turns back to Noah)


JP: Joakim, I'm tired of your behavior. This isn't college, we aren't in Gainesville. You aren't the big man on campus. I'm your boss, and you'll do exactly as I say.

JN: What the fuck ever. I'm out of here.

JP: That's it! There's only one way we can settle this. A high stakes battle of one-on-one basketball. You and me. Right now.

JN: High stakes? What will that solve? How much you wanna play for? $10,000? $20,000?

JP: Our lives.

JN: Are you fucking kidding me? Our lives?

(Paxson flies out of the room into the bathroom from whence he emerges with his battle garb)



JP: Let's do this shit.

(Meanwhile, outside the room, after overhearing the argument between Joakim and John Paxson, coach Boylan has run to the room of the only man who can help.)

(Ben Wallace sits in his hotel room watching Dora the Explorer)


Ben Wallace: Hola, mi nombre es Ben Wallace. ¿Cómo usted está haciendo hoy?

BW: Man, this Spanish shit is easy! Ben Wallace is learnin' at a 5th grade level!


Ben Wallace's Headband
: Why the fuck are we watching this shit, Ben? Order some porn or something. Daddy needs to release some tension.

BW: Can't do it, man. Gotta game tonight, Ben Wallace need his legs!

BWH: Fuck that. You're gettin paid either way, right? This team ain't going anywhere. There's no Chauncey. There's no Rip. There definitely ain't no Rasheed Wallace. Ya'll fools ain't goin nowhere. Let's get some porn, and take a night off.

BW: Ben Wallace do miss Rasheed's tender touch. Now Ben Wallace is all sad!

BWH: And you know what makes Ben Wallace happy? Bukkake Bonanza 13.

BW: Oh, ok.

(There's a knock at the door)


BW: Oh shit. Somebody is at Ben Wallace's door.

BWH: Ignore it, we got work to do!

JB: Ben!? It's coach Boylan! I need to talk to you big guy! There's trouble a brewin'!!

BW: Oh no! Trouble! Ben Wallace will help!

(Wallace goes to the door and lets coach Boylan in)


BWH: God damn it.

JB: Ben! Mr. Paxson, sir and Joakim are gonna come to fisticuffs very soon! They're planning on playing a high stakes game of one-on-one!!

BW: They's gonna kill each other!?

JB: You sure are smart big guy! Yes! Yes, they're going to kill each other. Somebody needs to stop them.

BW: Oh I don't know that I can coach Boylan. Ben Wallace's Headband and Ben Wallace were going to watch Bukkake Bonanza 13. He really has hit heart set on it!

JB: Well, if that's what you want to do that's a-ok with me, Ben! I should remind you though, Mr. Paxson, sir and Joakim are going to kill each other.

BW: Hmmmmmmmm...that could be bad. As the team's highest paid player it's up to Ben Wallace to show young Joakim Noah the way!

JB: Way to take responsibility, big guy! You sure do impress me with your professionalism!!

BW: Headband! We must go! Get on Ben Wallace's head!

BWH: But I already ordered the movie!

BW: Let us go save a young man from making a tragic decision!

(Ben puts on his headband and heads to John Paxson's hotel room. As he comes to the elevators, Kirk Hinrich is getting out.)



Kirk Hinrich: Hey, Ben! Where you in such a rush too!?

BW: No time to talk, Harry Potter! Ben Wallace needs to save the day!

(Wallace then picks up Hinrich and throws him out a second story window.)


KH: Aaaaaaah!!

JB: Nice toss, Ben!! He broke through that glass clean!

BW: Ben Wallace is a man that feels if you ain't gonna do something right, you don't do it at all. Now let's go save the day.

Will Ben Wallace save the day? Will Joakim Noah ever learn his lesson? Will Kirk Hinrich survive his fall? Will Ben Wallace's headband ever get to jerk off?

Tune in tomorrow for the conclusion of A High Stakes Game of One-on-One!

Ballhype: hype it up!

Monday, January 14, 2008

Screw The Bulls

As I look around the web and through the newspapers, and listen to the radio, there's one big story in Chicago today: the Joakim Noah benching. I decided yesterday that I was going to write about it as well, but when I woke up this morning I stumbled into one big road block.

I don't care enough about this team right now.

In a year's time I've gone from being enamored with this team and their future to not even realizing they were playing on Sunday. It's tiring to try and follow these guys.

The cohesion between the players on the Bulls that had been so evident the last few years is gone. It's as though they've adopted an every man for himself philosophy, and it's not fun to watch.

Luol Deng and Ben Gordon seem too preoccupied with the fact they turned down $50 million extensions this offseason, and now they're trying to overcompensate on the court. Ben Wallace quit on Scott Skiles, and I don't care how much you hate a guy, when you're making the type of money Ben is making, you play every night.

In a weird way, this benching of Noah after a unanimous vote by the rest of the team is the first sign of this team coming together this season. Not exactly the way you'd like to see it happen though, is it?

When Jim Boylan took over I saw an energy from the team that wasn't there during the first month and a half under Skiles this season. It gave me hope that they'd turn things around, but that quickly changed when the same sloppy play the Bulls had exhibited all season continued. Only now that horrible decision had some motivation behind it!

Now it's as though the team has already tuned Boylan out as well. They didn't feel as though his one-game benching of Noah was enough, so they took matters into their own hands and told their coach he'd be benching Noah for another game as well.

Well, I've taken a players-only vote as well, and by a unanimous decision we've come to the conclusion that were stepping back from the Bulls this season. I'm not going to drop them completely or anything. I'll still watch games when I can, but much like the Bulls players have done this season, I'm going to stop caring.

If they don't give a shit, why should I?

Foul Balls

T.O. Is On Suicide Watch Again -
There's no doubt that around the blogosphere and MSM this morning there will be a lot of talk about how Tony Romo going to Mexico with Jessica Simpson last week is the reason the Cowboys lost. It's not true, but it helps fill the pages and airspace, so why the hell not.

Romo set himself up for it, so now he's going to have to answer for it. At least we know he has one teammate who's going to be there for him.



Obviously, none of this should come as a surprise to you. Terrell has always been a team first guy who's stood by his quarterback through thick and thin. Just ask Donovan McNabb and Jeff Garcia.

Personally I think the only reason Owens is crying is because he saw the look on Jerry Jones' face on the sidelines after R.W. McQuarters' interception ended the game, and he's just scared Jerry is going to line up the entire team and shoot them.

Can't Believe The Colts Lost -
A day later, and I'm still not sure how the Colts lost to the Chargers on Sunday. LaDainian Tomlinson didn't play in the second half, Antonio Gates was extremely limited with his dislocated toe, and Philip Rivers had to leave the game in the fourth quarter.

Meanwhile Peyton Manning threw for over 400 yards, so shouldn't the Colts have won this game by 24?

Seriously, Billy Volek? Billy Volek is leading the Chargers on game-winning drives on the road?

NORV TURNER HAS WON TWO STRAIGHT PLAYOFF GAMES!?

I don't know what the hell is going on here, people, but I'm scared for my life.

I'm also scared that next week's AFC Championship will feature a quarterback matchup of Tom Brady and Billy Volek. That should be exciting.

Eric Gordon's Still Good, Illini Still Suck - Illinois moved to 0-4 in the Big Ten after losing again on Sunday afternoon to Indiana. The story going into the game, of course, was about Eric Gordon facing the Illini.

It's the first time Gordon has played against the team he verbally committed to a few years ago before backing out on it and going to Indiana. He didn't disappoint either, as the Big Ten's leading scorer dropped 17 on the Illini and was a big part of the Hoosiers comeback win.

If there's anything positive to take from this game, it's that at least the Illini built a lead to blow in the second half! I figured they were going to get blown out of the water from the get go. It's progress, people!

Ballhype: hype it up!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

It's Now Or Never For Cedric Benson

Wasn't the bye week fantastic? For a whole week I didn't have to think about the Bears, and instead of being frustrated on a Sunday, I was just able to sit back and enjoy the Patriots-Colts game.

I didn't have to hear about Brian Urlacher's back, or Bernard Berrian's dropped passes, or Brian Griese's turnovers. It was great!

But now the Bears are preparing to go to Oakland and start the second half of what's looking to be a lost season. I was hoping that after the Seahawks got to the playoffs last season, it had signified an end to the curse of the Super Bowl loser. I was wrong.

But even though they're 3-5, they're not out of it! Sure, the Packers are 7-1, and the Lions are 6-2, but we can still catch em!! The Bears can still go 8-0 to finish 11-5, while the Packers stumble down the stretch with a 3-5 record, and the Bears would win the division.

Will that actually happen? Hell no it won't, but that's still what they're telling themselves at Halas Hall.

If the Bears had any chance of going undefeated in the second half, Cedric Benson would have to step up big time. How many of you honestly see that happening?

Benson has been the dreaded "B" word since being taken fourth overall in the 2005 draft: BUST. The team traded Thomas Jones this offseason for him. The two running backs weren't getting along, so the Bears sent Jones packing to give their first rounder room to breathe.

Now if only the offensive line could do the same thing.

Benson has topped the century mark only once this season, rushing for 101 yards against the Chiefs in Week 2. He still doesn't have a run over 16 yards. In eight games he's managed to rush for 466 yards rushing on 149 carries.

That averages out to a whopping 3.1 yards per carry. Keep in mind, you could just walk up to the line of scrimmage and fall flat on your face, and you'd get two yards. So that means Cedric Benson is good enough to move the ball 4 feet before getting tackled.

Now all the blame can't be placed on Benson. After all, the offensive line are the one responsible for opening the holes, and Cedric hasn't had many big holes to run through this season. Still, for someone with his size, Cedric should be able to make his own holes when he has to.

Instead he chooses to run into a pile of people and fall down. An effective tactic against fumbling the football, but not much help as far as matriculating the ball down the field is concerned.

If Cedric is ever going to have a bust out game this season, it's going to have to be this weekend. If we get another 20 carry, 60-yard performance, we'll know for sure that Benson is never going to amount to anything.

The reason for this is that the Bears are playing the Raiders this weekend. Oakland ranks 30th in the NFL in run defense, giving up 152.5 yards per game. (Roughly 49 Benson carries.) Last week the Raiders gave up 122 yards to Ron Dayne. Ron Dayne the third string running back of the Houston Texans, Ron Dayne. The big man even rumbled for a 39-yard carry against Oakland's porous run defense.

So the Bears gameplan this weekend needs to call for feeding the ball to Benson over and over again. What the gameplan shouldn't consist of are the toss and stretch plays to Benson.

What in the hell makes Ron Turner think that Cedric is ever going to beat anybody to the corner? Speed is not his best asset. All the Bears should do with Benson is let him pound it between the tackles all day.

If Cedric Benson gets the ball 25 times on Sunday, and doesn't manage to get over 100 yards, he's done. He will never be the running back the Bears hoped for, and they'll have to go into this offseason not only searching for a quarterback to lead this team in the future, but for somebody for him to hand the ball off to as well.


Foul Balls

Lane Kiffin Is Stupid - Lane Kiffin is only 32 years old, and he's the head coach of the Oakland Raiders, so it's hard to blame him for having confidence. It's just sometimes having too much confidence in yourself ends up hurting you in the end.

Take this quote from Kiffin in a press conference this week about Devin Hester.

"We're excited about the challenge," Kiffin said. "You know, we've started to play better on special teams the last few weeks. It's obvious [he's] probably the best returner ever to play the game."

"It's no fun to kick it out of bounds, so we're going to see how well we can cover."
So Lane Kiffin and the Raiders plan on kicking to Devin Hester all day on Sunday. Punts, and kicks. None of that out of bounds sissy bullshit other teams have been doing.

So thank you, Lane Kiffin. Thank you for having the balls to test the one known as Hester. Unfortunately, those balls of yours will be your downfall, because kicking to Hester is the dumbest idea you've ever had.

He's the only member of the Bears capable of scoring on a regular basis! Why the hell would you put the ball in his hands!?

Welcome To The Doghouse, Joakim -
It didn't take Joakim Noah long to find himself in Scott Skiles' doghouse, did it? After playing in his first game as a Bull on Tuesday night, Noah got himself in trouble with things he said about the team after the game.

In case you're wondering, here's what Joakim had to say.
"Every game we play is like, 'Oh, wait till we play the next one. We'll be all good. We're going to kill them the next game.' That's not how it works," he said. "You just have to play possession by possession like it's your last. I don't think we're doing that now."

"At Florida, we played together so much, like every day, and we knew what it took to win ballgames," he said as he leafed through a French magazine that included a feature story about him. "Losing was unacceptable. Even if we didn't play well, we found ways to win basketball games. "… It's tough right now. We have 78 more games to go. Our attitude has to be to see the big picture and learn from this.

"I think we're playing hard, but I feel like we're just not together. Everybody's trying to do it by themselves, instead of playing as a team. I think that's the problem."
Once Skiles heard what his rookie had said, he responded with this.
"If I had just played my first pro game, I'd probably keep my mouth shut, to be honest with you," Skiles told reporters at the Berto Center. "It's obvious we're not playing to our ability. There's no doubt about that. I may have a little problem with the phrasing of that, but the point is probably spot-on. But it probably should be somebody else speaking for the group."
Joakim then quickly wet himself.
"I don't want to say anything. There's no … um, there's not … I don't have a problem with coach Skiles, OK? If he feels that way, I'll shut up," Noah said.
I don't think Joakim really needs to worry too much about coach Skiles. Sure, Skiles is probably a bit angry at him for speaking out like that without putting in the time, but even Skiles admitted Joakim's take on the situation is spot on.

Personally, I think Skiles is probably more pissed off it's not somebody else on the team saying it. Isn't that what Ben Wallace is supposed to do? Luol Deng? Kirk Hinrich? Why isn't one of the veterans coming out and saying this? Do they just not care?

Ballhype: hype it up!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Let's Get This Started Already

The Bulls will start their season tonight in New Jersey against the Nets and Chicago needs them right now. Baseball's done, and the Bears suck, so a couple of Bulls victories would be fantastic right about now.

There are a couple of problems with that though. Anybody who's paid attention to this team the last few years knows they're notoriously slow starters. To make matters worse, they're starting the season tonight in New Jersey, where they haven't won since 2001. That's eleven straight losses. You know who the Bulls leading scorer was that night?

A.J. Guyton.

Who?

Exactly.

To be completely honest with you though, tonight's game isn't about the result. It's only the first game of the season, and though a repeat performance of the Bulls annihilation of the Heat last year on opening night would be nice, I'm more interested in just seeing the team play.

Joakim Noah won't be playing thanks to his sprained ankle, and there's a chance Ben Wallace might have to sit out as well. Still I'll be looking for other signs. How is Luol Deng improved this season? Has Ben Gordon decided to play defense? Will Tyrus Thomas evolve from freakish athlete to basketball player? Is Chris Duhon really still on the team?

Obviously these questions won't all be answered in one night, but we'll at least have a better idea of what to expect.

I'm still not sure that this team is good enough to win the Eastern Conference. Not with an improved Boston team, along with old stalwarts like the Pistons and Heat. They still need a big man that can score, and I'm pretty sure Joe Smith isn't the answer. He's just a younger version of P.J. Brown.

If the Bulls are going to get to the NBA Finals this season without a big man, it's going to have to be up to Luol Deng. Deng will have to take that next step towards superstardom if this team is going to have a legitimate shot. Ben Gordon is a nice spark plug once in a while, but he cannot be counted on to lead the team every night.

Now whether or not he's going to be able to do it as rumors of a Kobe Bryant trade swirl around the United Center, I'm not sure. It's not the first time Lu is going to have to play while dealing with trade rumors though, because I'm pretty sure he's been traded in the media 596 times in his short career.

Now we all know how I feel on the subject of the Kobe trade, so I won't get that deep into it again. I'll just maintain my position that if the Bulls can complete the deal without giving up Luol Deng, they'd be stupid as hell not to do it.

I know all the Kobe rumors are probably starting to get annoying, but the simple fact is that until the Lakers come out and say they're not trading him, or that he's been traded, this talk is going to follow the Bulls all season. They're one of the few teams that can trade for him, and they're one of the few teams Kobe wants to play for.

That's the other reason I can't wait for tonight's game. Once the Bulls start playing games I'll actually have something to write about involving the Bulls that has nothing to do with Kobe. It may not seem like it with all the times I bring him up, but I'm tired of writing about Kobe too. I need this season to start.

Foul Balls

White Sox Make Moves - The Darin Erstad Era has come to an end on the south side, as the White Sox have declined to pick up the option on his contract. It was either buy him out for $250,000 or pay him $3.5 million to play next season.

I think they made the right choice.

I liked the signing of Erstad last season because it was a low risk high reward type of signing. He was relatively cheap, and if he could have managed to stay healthy, he would have been a valuable member of the team. Unfortunately, he couldn't stay healthy. Erstad only played in 87 games last season and hit .247.

The Sox also declined their option on veteran lefty Mike Myers. Mike Myers being cut on Halloween. Oh the irony!

Mike Cameron Suspended - Continuing with the White Sox for a second, most of the talk involving the Sox and centerfield has the team going after Torii Hunter or Aaron Rowand. A darkhorse though was current Padres centerfielder, and former Sox, Mike Cameron. Well, I don't think the Sox will be going after him now.

He's been suspended 25 games for testing positive for stimulants.

"The one thing I wanted to make sure was explained is, no steroids," Cameron told AM 1090, the Padres' flagship radio station. "I never took nothing like that before in my life. That would be 50 games, and that would affect me a whole lot more."
So just to be clear, Mike's not on the roids, he's just snorting Adderall in the clubhouse.

Curt Schilling To The Cubs? - Curt Schilling basically released a list of 13 teams he'd be willing to pitch for next season, and the Cubs were one of those teams. The White Sox were not.

I actually think the Cubs should make a run at Schilling. They could definetely use another starter, and I think a trip to the National League would only help Schilling. Not to mention his postseason numbers speak for themselves, and that could come in handy for the Cubs next season. They might win a playoff game before getting eliminated!

Choose Your Own Rodventure - Many times over at the MLB FanHouse, some of our best ideas come from stupid conversations we have with each other through our Google Group.

This is the greatest thing we've ever accomplished from one of our stupid conversations. One day PostmanE said something about those "Choose Your Own Adventure Books" from grade school, and it's morphed into Choose Your Own Rodventure.

That's right, YOU get to be Alex Rodriguez and decide where you're going to play this season. There are endless options, so if you've got time to kill at work today, I highly recommend playing along.

Ballhype: hype it up!

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Bulls Sign Joakim Noah and Aaron Gray


It's official: Ben Wallace no longer has the worst hair on the Bulls.

As expected, Chicago has signed first-round draft choice Joakim Noah, along with second-round selection Aaron Gray.

Noah, the 6-foot-11-inch, 232-pound forward who was picked ninth overall in the draft this year, will wear lucky number 13 and pull down a tidy $1.78 million for his rookie season.

Aaron Gray, the 7-foot, 270-pound center out of Pittsburgh, 49th pick overall, will wear number 34 and be paid $12.95/hour plus all the United Center nachos he can eat.

Okay, I admit that was uncalled for. You see, I'm a diehard Hoya fan and last time I saw Gray, much to my delight he was being bitch-slapped by Roy Hibbert and Georgetown in the Big East Tournament.


Guess I'll have to stop making fun of him now. Damn.

Ballhype: hype it up!

Friday, June 29, 2007

Joakim Noah, Considered


As you no doubt know, the Bulls picked Florida forward and future Dancing With the Stars winner Joakim Noah in the NBA draft last night.

Normally, Fornelli would write some trenchant analysis about this but sadly, he's still cableless, so I thought I'd take you on a quick tour of the web for some first-blush reactions to the pick.
  • We are the Postmen is iffy about the selection: "...On the bright side he’s a winner, he’s a good defender, his motor never stops and he is an exceptional passer. However, he is not a good scorer. Even though some scouts maintain he is a more skilled offensive player than many realize, the fact is most of his points come off dunks. So what’s the problem with the Bulls choice at No. 9? One: they didn’t address their need for post scoring. And two: pretty much all of this stuff could also describe Tyrus Thomas. The Bulls now have two of the same style player, who both need time to develop at the NBA level. The light at the end of the tunnel is John Paxson, and pecially when he metaphorically de-pantsed Isiah Thomas in what have could have been a devastating situation with the loss of Eddy Curry..."

  • The Tribune's Ricky Morrissey thinks it was a horrible pick - "Let me start with this: Noah doesn't have a jump shot. He has a push shot! Fourth-graders heave their shot from their chest, not top-10 draft picks. Now, players who are 7-feet usually don't shoot much from outside. But they do need to be able to shoot a jump shot from at least 10 feet. No way Noah gets that shot off in the NBA. No way. Last I saw, the Bulls needed an inside scoring presence. Ben Wallace is not a scorer. Tyrus Thomas is a leaper. It's hard to picture Noah playing a role should the Bulls advance farther in the playoffs than they did last season. They are putting him in the "high energy" category, which is code for "can't shoot if his life depended on it..."
  • The Starting Five loves it - "...TOLD YOU. What, Ryan McNeill! I told anyone who would listen this is the player for the Bulls - hey, it’s probably the only pick I got right in my mock picks! He loves defense and he loves to board, which will make Scott Skiles love him. His offensive game will improve to the point that Ben Wallace will be expendable in 2008-09. The three main Gators go in the top nine...."

  • Free Darko.... um... I'm not sure what they were thinking. Here's the part of their liveblog I could make out: "...Billups: THAT'S A SCOTT SKILES PICK Brown Recluse, Esq.: great......another post player who can't score... "

  • True Hoop is not overjoyed - "I'm not thrilled, but I'm glad it's not Spencer Hawes. Noah doesn't provide the Bulls with the inside scoring they need, but he does fit in with their high-energy philosophy and hopefully has bigger hands than Tyson Chandler. And a great suit..."

As for me, my analysis is based on the post-pick ESPN interview where Noah responded to the hard-hitting question, "What shampoo do you use?" with the revealing answer, "Bumble and Bumble."

Ohmygod, me too! (Although, to very different effect.)

Therefore, I think he'll be a great choice for the Bulls.

Ballhype: hype it up!

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Meet Your Newest Baby Bull: Joakim Noah




Fornelli wrote some thoughts about Noah earlier in the day - they can be found here.

Ballhype: hype it up!

The NBA Draft is Tonight


For those of us here that are NBA fans, tonight is a big night. It's the NBA Draft, and it's probably one of the deepest drafts that the NBA has had in a while. Everybody knows about Greg Oden and Kevin Durant, but even after those two, there's a ton of talented players left out there.

All of which is very good news for any team crappy lucky enough to find itself in the lottery.

One of those teams, of course, are our very own Chicago Bulls. Tonight we receive our final gift from Isiah Thomas, as the Bulls hold the 9th overall pick. I've been looking around at some of the players that most experts think the Bulls will take, and I'd like to share each of them with you, along with my thoughts on each guy.


  • Spencer Hawes 7-0 230lb Center Washington-Hawes is a big white guy from Washington. He's had injury problems in his short college career - he's 19 -and I don't have any reason to believe he won't have them in the NBA. The plus side, he actually has an offensive game down in the paint which is something the Bulls desperately need.

  • Yi Jianlin 7-0 246lb Power Forward China-Jianlin could be the most intriguing player in the draft, but only because he's from China, so nobody knows what they're going to get from him. The only comparisons between Yi and Yao Ming are that they're both very tall and from China. After that, Yi is far more athletic than Yao, a better shooter and ballhandler. He also runs the floor well. A negative is he'll need to add some bulk in his upper body.

  • Joakim Noah 6-11 230lb Power Forward Florida-Anybody who's followed college basketball knows who Joakim Noah is. He's the most noticeable member of the Florida Gators team that's won the NCAA title the last two seasons. My doubts about Noah are on the offensive side of the ball. He's a good defender and rebounder, but the Bulls don't need a big man down low to defend and rebound. I think that's what they pay Ben Wallace all that money for. Oh, and then there's also this little tidbit from Joakim himself. I also feel I should mention the fact that I'm probably the only non-Gator fan in the country who doesn't hate Joakim.

  • Julian Wright 6-9 220lb Small Forward Kansas-It would be a nice story seeing as how Julian hails from Chicago, but it wouldn't make much sense. He's a lot like Luol Deng, and as I've said with the other three players, he doesn't fill a need. That said, if the other three guys I've listed here are gone, the Bulls may take him.

  • Brandan Wright 6-10 210lb Power Forward North Carolina-Much like the other Wright, the Bulls don't really need Brandan. What Julian is to Luol Deng, Brandan is to Tyrus Thomas. This could happen, but I wouldn't put any money on it.
So who do I want?

I honestly don't know. Unlike last year when I had my heart set on Tyrus Thomas or LaMarcus Aldridge, I don't really feel a desire for any of these players. I like things I hear about Yi Jianlin, but at the same time I have absolutely no idea what the Bulls would actually get from him. Sure, he was pretty dominant in China, but he was playing in China. He wasn't playing against NBA talent. Hawes seems most ready to help the Bulls now, but his injury history scares me.

We can eliminate the Wright boys because we basically have then on the team already.

So that leaves us with Joakim Noah. Like I said, I like Joakim, his energy and the passion he brings with him to the court. I just don't know if he'll ever develop into the type of offensive player the Bulls need.

So I guess it comes down to either Jianlin or Noah. I'm not 100% on either, but guess I'm just going to have to live with it.

Well, unless the Bulls pull out some miracle trade with their pick and end up getting KG or something, but that won't happen.

Ballhype: hype it up!

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Your Mom Goes To College

It looks like next season's college basketball is going to be without quite a few of its stars.

Though not yet official, it's expected Kevin Durant will be leaving Texas to join the NBA.

It's good news in Boston and bad news in Austin as DraftExpress.com is reporting that Texas freshman sensation Kevin Durant has decided to declare for the NBA draft and will make his announcement at a news conference next week.

DraftExpress.com cited "multiple sources, both from the NBA and close to the player himself" in its report.
Durant will not be alone.

After winning back-to-back NCAA titles, the Florida Gators will not be returning any of their starters or their sixth man next season. Lee Humphrey and Chris Richard are both graduating, and juniors Joakim Noah, Al Horford, Corey Brewer, and Taurean Green are all going pro together.

Now none of this comes as a surprise, but some people hoped the Gators would return to try for a three-peat. Granted, those people are idiots. They didn't have anything else to prove in college, they'd already won two titles.

As for Durant, he and Greg Oden (should Oden leave) are showing us what the future of college basketball may soon be. Durant was already the first freshman in history to win the Player of the Year Award, but it's likely he won't be the last.

It used to be that the seniors were the best players on the court. Now it looks as if the game is actually moving towards the point where the upper-classmen are the lesser players on a team. With the NBA's new rule that won't allow high schoolers to go pro, the college game is going to be flooded with freshmen who are just getting their year over with before cashing in. As a result, all the best talent will likely be leaving the college game after every season, while the only people who stay are those who can't play in the NBA.

It's going to be an odd shift in the infrastructure of college basketball, but I suggest you start getting used to it. Freshman will be dominating for years to come.

Ballhype: hype it up!

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Swing Your Gator Round and Round...

Unlike virtually every non-Gainesville-residing college basketball fan, I don't dislike Joakim Noah. On the contrary, I've truly enjoyed watching him and the Gators play this season.

Up until now.

You see, I picked UCLA to go all the way. So while I haven't permanently joined the haters, a little trashing-talking... or trash photo-shopping... seems in order.

A "Joakim Noah Dancing" thread started by some enterprising Bruins fans.




[EDITOR'S NOTE: Having been chastised by several friends and family members, let me make it clear I would gladly toss aside my bracket to see the Hoyas win.]

Ballhype: hype it up!

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I Saw Pat Summitt's Underwear...

...and apparently I wasn't the only one affected negatively by it.

The Gators only trailed Tennessee by a point when the game reached its first television timeout and Pat Summitt came on the court to repay her debt to men's coach Bruce Pearl.

She was in a Tennessee cheerleading outfit, and she sang "Rocky Top" at center court for everybody. She then was lifted up by the other cheerleaders to the top of a pyramid.

That's when the ESPN cameras caught a sight I didn't want to see.

Whether it's directly related or not, after that timeout, it seemed that the Gators just rolled over for Tennessee.

They trailed by over 20 points at times, and used a late game surge to make this game seem a lot closer than it really was. Chris Lofton scored 21 points to lead the Vols in front of what was probably the biggest crowd to ever see a men's game in Knoxville, a crowd that included Peyton Manning and a few other members of the Indianapolis Colts.

As far as Florida is concerned, things are falling apart and fast. They've now lost three of their last four and it seems that defense has become a completely foreign concept for the Gators. Not to mention they're turning the ball over more often than Florida alum, Rex Grossman. (Oh man...it's been a while since I got a Grossman dig in there. Felt good.)

The Gators committed 20 turnovers as a team Tuesday night. To put that in perspective, they only made 27 shots. Joakim Noah was a non factor with only 8 points on 3-of-4 shooting, while Taurean Green's struggles from the field continued. Green finished with 9 points but made only 2 of his 11 shots.

The Gators are in trouble. Unless they wake up out of whatever daze they're in right now, it's safe to say they won't be repeating as national champs next month.

Ballhype: hype it up!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

The Basketball Diaries, NCAA Edition: Stalling Stallings


Vanderbilt 83, University of Florida 70

A thirteen-point loss for Florida yesterday to Cinderella-wannabe Vanderbilt ended Florida's 17-game streak, the longest active streak in college basketball.

Vandy took control of the game early, outshooting the Gators 57.1 percent to 44 percent from the field, and led by as much as 16 points late.

Derrick Byars who, along with Shan Foster each scored 24 points, put the win in its proper perspective:

"This is one for the ages. Twenty years from now, I'll be able to tell my little kids this. This is special. You can't explain it."

With an 18-8 record and 8-4 in the SEC, the Commodores are having another good season and could make a potential run into the NCAA Tourney.

Meanwhile, the Gators seem to be developing a couple bad habits. The first, falling behind and then coming back late in games. The second, Joakim Noah getting in altercations with folks on the sidelines.

Last week it was a pom pom-wielding UK cheerleader. This week, it was Vandy coach Kevin Stallings, who inexplicably refused to give the ball to Noah from the sidelines. Evidently, the refs are on the anti-Noah bandwagon too cuz instead of giving Vanderbilt a delay of game warning, the referees threatened Noah after he tried unsuccessfully to grab the ball from the recalcitrant coach.

Here's what happened. Apologies for the Zapruder version:


Thanks to
Sports on My Mind for the video

Ballhype: hype it up!