In Brief: Stay Away, Brett

Yesterday the Los Angeles Times reported that Brett Favre's agent has been in contact with teams not named the Green Bay Packers to see if they'd be interested in the recently retired quarterback. Both Favre and his agent deny the story, but really, would you be shocked if Favre came out of retirement? A part of me is hoping he does because you know it would cause half the population of Green Bay to kill themselves, while the rest just rock in a chair muttering "Why, Brett? Why?" for the rest of their lives.

Just as long as he doesn't sign with the Bears. I'm not sure my brain would know how to cope with that.

Brett Favre's Retirement Press Conference

It's an incredibly slow news day, in what's been an incredibly slow news week, in what's been an incredibly slow news month.

So why not watch Brett Favre cry?

Did you hear he's retiring? That's awesome.

Favre Retired.....For Serious This Time

After three years of "Will he or won't he," he finally has. Brett Favre announced this morning that he's finally hanging his cleats up, and he's retiring.

"I know I can still play, but it's like I told my wife, I'm just tired mentally. I'm just tired," Favre told ESPN's Chris Mortensen in a voice mail messasge.

"If I felt like coming back -- and Deanna [Favre, his wife] and I talked about this -- the only way for me to be successful would be to win a Super Bowl. To go to the Super Bowl and lose, would almost be worse than anything else. Anything less than a Super Bowl win would be unsuccessful," Favre said in the message.

"I know it shouldn't feel unsuccessful, but the only way to come back and make that be the right decision would be to come back and win a Super Bowl and honestly the odds of that, they're tough. Those are big shoes for me to fill, and I guess it was a challenge I wasn't up for. "

This comes as a bit of a surprise to most people because after struggling for the last three seasons, Favre was reborn in 2007, and the Packers got to the NFC Championship before Brett lost his glass slipper and killed the Packers chances to get to the Super Bowl. Still, most people thought that the success Favre had this season assured he'd be back in 2008.

I'm not that surprised because I thought the only reason Favre came back for one last season was so he could break all Dan Marino's records, which he did. I don't think Brett thought for a second that the Packers were going to be as good as they were.

Of course, I don't care why he came back last season, or why he's not coming back next season, the only thing I care about is that he's gone. This is easily the best thing to happen to the Bears this season, because now they have a chance at winning the division.

Think about it, Rex Grossman is now the most "decorated" quarterback in the NFC North.

I'll let that one sink in for a second.

So while Packers fans everywhere contemplate suicide this morning, I'm rejoicing. The man that has tortured me for 17 years can't hurt me anymore.

What's odd about this whole thing though, is that I'm going to miss him. I hated the man when he was on a football field playing against the Bears, but that still doesn't change the fact he was the best quarterback I've ever seen play the game.

Still, I don't think it'll take me that long to get over it. See? I'm over it already.

Good riddance you bastard!

Surprised and Disappointed

Okay, so now that I got my concern for Tom Coughlin out of the way, I guess I can move on to actually talking about the games yesterday.

Honestly, I don't really have that much to say about the AFC Championship game. The game played out exactly how I thought it would play out, with the only surprise being LaDainian Tomlinson only getting two carries. Obviously, the lack of Tomlinson didn't help San Diego's cause, but I doubt he would have made much of a difference had he played.

The Patriots have been the best team in football all season, and they weren't going to lose yesterday. I mean, Tom Brady played more like Rex Grossman yesterday, and the Patriots still won. It's not fair.

And now, the only team standing in the way of the Patriots pursuit of an undefeated season is the same team that tried to stop them from having an undefeated regular season: the New York Giants.

I was shocked that the Giants beat the Packers. Shocked. I really didn't feel as though the Giants would keep it close. I know they'd won their last nine road games, and I know that they were playing better the last three weeks than they had been all year, but I still didn't think they had a shot.

There was just no way that Eli Manning, who has been horrible in cold weather throughout his career, was going to be able to out duel the great Brett Favre. Not in his storybook comeback season!

But instead the great Favre morphed back into the Favre we saw the last few seasons, making bad decisions and worse throws. Favre had no excuse either.

Sure, his offensive line did a horrible job of giving Ryan Grant and the Packers run game any room to operate, which forced Green Bay to completely ditch it's running game (one of many mistakes Green Bay made yesterday), but they did a fantastic job in pass protection. The Giants lead the entire free world in sacks, yet they never got to Favre once yesterday.

Eli Manning, on the other hand, looked like a quarterback that had been there a hundred times before. Moving his team down the field time after time for scores during the second half. If Lawrence Tynes was as good at kicking 37-yard field goals as he is kicking 47-yard field goals, this game never would have even gone into overtime.

I don't want to take away from what Eli has done this postseason, because he really has played great, but I can't help but be disappointed by the Giants victory. I wasn't really rooting for the Packers yesterday, and if you're a real Bears fan you weren't either, but I preferred that they won. I wanted the Super Bowl to feature Tom Brady and Brett Favre. The two quarterbacks who sucked yesterday.

Not to mention that I caught a lot of crap from Packers fans after the Bears lost in the Super Bowl last season, so I wouldn't have minded returning the favor this season after Green Bay lost to New England.

Instead we're stuck with the same old story we're always stuck with. New York vs. Boston.


Fantastic.

I'm surprised the collective boner of everybody at ESPN didn't block the sunrise this morning.

Foul Balls

Trade Ben Gordon - This is just something I've been thinking the last few days while watching the Bulls. Trade Ben Gordon, and do it soon. I have nothing against Ben, and in fact I'm very grateful for all those points he's scored these last few years, but I think it's time for him to move on.

I mean, I'd rather trade Kirk Hinrich, but I don't think he'll be anywhere near as easy to trade, nor will he bring back as much in return. I just think that the Bulls will be better off with Thabo Sefolosha playing the 2-guard right now. Thabo has played terrific basketball the last few weeks, and I'd like to see him as much on the court as possible.

So the Bulls should trade Gordon now because he can be used in a package to get somebody like Pau Gasol (there's that name again) and Ben won't be back next season anyway. So you may as well get something for him now, instead of nothing for him later.

What's the worst that can happen? We miss the playoffs?

Lou Piniella Doesn't Want Brian Roberts - I've understood why the Cubs are interested in Brian Roberts this winter, they would like a real lead-off hitter, and moving Alfonso Soriano down to the three-spot would be beneficial to the offense, but I've been against the trade all along. Mostly because I'm just a real big Mark DeRosa fan.

Thankfully, Lou Piniella feels the same way as I do. At the Cubs convention over the weekend, Piniella said he doesn't expect the team to complete the deal for Roberts, and that would be fine with him.

"I don't think we're going to do anything, to be honest with you," Piniella said before Friday's opening ceremonies. "And I think if we do [acquire someone] it'll be in the outfield. I'm very comfortable with our club the way it is."

"[A trade for a right-handed centerfielder to platoon with Felix Pie] probably a possibility, as opposed to the other things that you all have been hearing about," he said, adding again he's "perfectly content with [Mark] DeRosa at second base."

Hopefully Jim Hendry got the message.

When Movies See Into The Future

I was going to write a Basketball Diaries this morning, but there was only one basketball game scheduled yesterday. It seems the NBA is smart enough to know when it can't compete.

The Suns beat the Nets 116-92 in that game, and they did it by scoring more points.

Still, I don't have my post on yesterday's football games finished up yet, and something needs to be here to help fill your time, so here's Prince Akeem to give you a quick recap.

Am I the only one thinking ESPN should replace Emmitt Smith with Akeem?

Packers Fans Shouldn't Have Children

It's going to be a big weekend up there in Green Bay this week. After all, God Brett Favre will be trying to lead his mighty Packers back to the Super Bowl for the first time in 9 years when the Pack last made a trip to the Super Bowl.

Obviously as somebody who's spent a lot of time in his life arguing with Packers fans about whose team is better, or whose fan base is further proof of the de-evolution of man, I know that Packers fans take their Packers football seriously. As a strong Bears fan, I can respect and understand it.

So I have no doubt that these are stressful times to be living in Green Bay. After all, if the Packers lose this weekend, the city's residents will have to crawl back into their holes until August, and nobody's quite ready for that yet.

Still, it doesn't mean they need to tie their kids up.

Upset that his 7-year-old son wouldn't wear a Green Bay Packers jersey during the team's playoff victory Saturday, a man restrained the boy for an hour with tape and taped the jersey onto him.

Mathew Kowald was cited for disorderly conduct in connection with the incident with his son at their home in Pardeeville, Lt. Wayne Smith of the Columbia County Sheriff's Department said. Pardeeville is about 30 miles north of Madison.

The 36-year-old Kowald was arrested Monday after his wife told authorities about the incident. Kowald was taken to the county jail and held until Wednesday, when he pleaded no contest, paid a fine of $186 and was released.

To make things even worse for Kowald, when he was released on Wednesday he was released to a restraining order from his wife, so he's not allowed any contact with his family. Apparently she doesn't want to wear the Mark Chmura jersey anymore either.

Foul Balls

Speaking Of Idiocy and Green Bay - Apparently Eli Manning is a huge Seinfeld fan, and with the people of Green Bay wanting to do anything in their power to help the Packers get past Eli's Giants this Sunday, they're willing to take drastic measures to ensure Eli is unhappy on Sunday.

They're taking away his Seinfeld.

Jay Zollar, general manager of WLUK, a Fox affiliate in Green Bay, this week made it clear that he, not the Giants quarterback, is the master of that domain.

On a video on the station's Web site, Zollar points at the camera and says, "Eli, no 'Seinfeld' for you!"

Yup, the station has pulled its regularly scheduled 5:30 p.m. Saturday "Seinfeld" rerun in an attempt to disrupt Manning's preparation for Sunday's NFC Championship Game against the Packers.

No word on whether or not there are any plans to tie Eli to a chair and force him to wear a Packers jersey.

The Illini Actually Won A Game! - Sure, it was against one of the few teams in the Big Ten that Illinois can honestly be considered better than, but a win still counts as a win. Illinois beat Michigan on Wednesday night at Assembly Hall to end a 5-game losing streak, including 4 in a row at home, and to notch their first conference victory of the season.

Of course, this doesn't mean that the Illini have turned things around or anything. Still, Bruce Weber would like to see his team use Wednesday's victory to at least try and do something.

"It would make it easier on all of us," Weber said. "Consistent double-digit scoring, seven, eight, nine rebounds [from each], keep Randle out of foul trouble, be active—that's what we envisioned from the get-go.

"They have had their moments, and they have had their moments the other way. We talked about having 15 games left—seven home, seven on the road and one guaranteed neutral-court game at the Big Ten tournament. Now, what will you do with it?"

They'll probably lose, coach.

Who's The Second Best Team In The NFL?

We all know that the New England Patriots are the best team in the NFL right now. I'm pretty sure the only way they don't go undefeated is if an asteroid strikes in Boston and blows the whole place to hell.

The question is, who's the second best team in the NFL?

A few weeks ago it was obviously the Indianapolis Colts, but ever since they lost to New England at home in Week 9, the Colts have looked pretty mediocre. They followed that loss with another one against the Chargers in Week 10, a game that saw Peyton Manning throw a career worst six interceptions.

They finally got another win this last Sunday against the Chiefs, but it wasn't exactly a victory to be proud of. Anytime you need a last-second field goal at home to beat a Larry Johnson-less Chiefs team, you're doing something wrong.

Whether it's the rash of injuries they've suffered the last few weeks, or whether they just haven't gotten over that loss to New England, the Colts look lost and extremely beatable.

The team that was supposed to take over their spot in the NFL hierarchy was the Pittsburgh Steelers, but they came out and laid an egg on Sunday, losing to the New York Jets. That just shouldn't happen, and anybody who loses to the Jets cannot be considered an elite team.

So you know what that means?

The horrible, mediocre, little brother of the AFC has stepped up and taken a seat next to the Patriots.

That's right. The NFC is starting to catch the AFC, at least at the top, anyway.

Right now I'd have to say the Dallas Cowboys are the best team in the NFL, non-Patriots division, of course.

If it wasn't for Tom Brady and Randy Moss, Tony Romo and Terrell Owens would be the story this season. Romo threw 4 touchdown passes on Sunday, all to Owens, as the Cowboys improved to 9-1 on the season.

The lone loss? To the Patriots.

The third best team in the NFL might be from the NFC as well, because as much as it pains me to say it, the Packers are 9-1 too. Though to be completely honest, I'm not sure I buy into Green Bay's performance. I mean, they lost to the Bears, how good can they be?

Yes they're 9-1, but they haven't really played anybody this season. They've only played one team that currently has a winning record, the New York Giants. Everybody else is .500 or worse.

There won't be a rude awakening for the Packers though, because the rest of their schedule is a lot like the first half. They only have one tough game, and it's going to be a very important one, as they travel to Dallas on Thursday November 29th to play a game that will settle homefield advantage in the NFC.

Make no mistake about it, whoever emerges from the NFC is going to get their ass whipped by New England in the Super Bowl, but it's nice to see that at least somebody in the conference is good enough to at least be mentioned with AFC teams.

Foul Balls

John McDonough Leaves The Cubs - Apparently, I'm not the only one who's excited about the nice start the Blackhawks have gotten off to this season. (Second place and 4-0 against Detroit, bitch!) Cubs president John McDonough is so excited by the Hawks performance, he done quit his job!

Cubs president John McDonough will be introduced as the new president of the Blackhawks at a noon news conference Tuesday at the United Center.

"He's as good as anyone in the country and just happens to be living in Chicago," Hawks chairman Rocky Wirtz told the Tribune on Tuesday. "I've watched the job he's done with the Cubs throughout the years. He's a guy that I think has great vision, leadership and I think he'll be a terrific addition to the Hawks organization."

Obviously, with the uncertain future of the Cubs ownership McDonough couldn't be sure he'd still have a job by this time next year, so he did the smart thing and went to the Blackhawks. He'll either be seen as some kind of savior, or the Blackhawks will continue to be lousey and nobody will notice.

MJ In Orange and Blue? - I watched the Illini beat Arizona State in the first round of the Maui Invitational last night, and I was very impressed by what I saw. For more you can check out what I wrote at FanHouse.

You know what I wasn't prepared for, though? Seeing Michael Jordan in orange and blue.

As MJ sat at courtside with his daughter Jasmine watching his son Jeff play for the Illini, I wondered: What happens if Illinois and North Carolina meet in the tournament this spring? What's MJ wearing to that game?

The Garland Trade: The Day After - Yep, still pissed!! Seriously, Kenny Williams gave up a 28-year old pitcher entering his prime - one who's stayed healthy his entire career - for a 33-year old shortstop who's probably going to leave after this season anyway.

I know that this isn't going to be the Sox only move this offseason, but it's a pretty shitty way to start. Maybe tomorrow we'll trade Javier Vazquez for Barry Bonds.

The Illini Could Be BCS Bowling! - The BCS is facing a crisis right now. As currently constructed, only two teams per conference can be allowed to play in a BCS bowl. It's never been a problem before this season, but it could become a large one after next week.

You see, the BCS has always been able to rely on Notre Dame to win nine games so they could justify giving them a spot, but that's not happening this season. Then there's Hawaii, who is vulnerable to a loss this week against Boise State, which would knock them out of the BCS picture.

So that would mean the BCS will have to take two teams from four of the six BCS conferences. Of course, that becomes a huge problem since only the top 14 teams in the BCS rankings are eligible to play in a BCS bowl. So what's the BCS to do? Expand.

In an attempt to avoid a potential headache at the end of the regular season, the commissioners of the six BCS football conferences have voted to expand the pool of BCS at-large candidates from 14 to 18.

The new rule goes into effect only if there aren't enough teams among the top 14 of the final BCS standings to fill 10 slots in the BCS National Championship Game, Orange Bowl, Sugar Bowl, Fiesta Bowl and Rose Bowl.

So how does this affect the Illini? They're currently ranked 17th in the BCS.
And obviously, all of this is way less complicated than coming up with some kind of playoff system.

The Bears Aren't Dead Yet

I have to admit, I thought I was going to be writing the Bears' eulogy this morning. But apparently, they just don't want to die yet, and I'm fine with it. If they want to go out and win again next week, I won't mind that either.

Last night in Green Bay the Bears didn't play great football but they came out on top in the end, and that's all that matters. Brian Griese looked a lot more comfortable in his second game under center and, aside from the one interception he threw, he did the job the Bears need him to do.

He managed the game, and when it mattered, he made a couple of great throws to Greg Olson and Desmond Clark for touchdowns.

The one to Clark proved to be the game winner, and probably the best play call Ron Turner has made all season. I fully expected Cedric Benson to get the ball on that third and two, plow into the line for four feet, then fall down and hope Robbie Gould could make the field goal.

The Packers expected the same thing as they bit on the play action and allowed Clark to get free behind the defense where Griese found him for the game-winning score.

Of course, what helped the Bears more than anything last night was the Packers. They committed five turnovers, and 12 penalties, many coming at horrible times. Everytime the Packers stopped the Bears on a third down, it seemed they were flagged and gave the Bears a first down.

I'll take a win any way we can get it, but I wasn't very pleased with the run defense in the first half. The Packers came into the game as the worst running team in the NFL, but that didn't stop Deshawn Wynn from gashing the Bears for 8 yards a clip to start the game. I'm not sure what Lovie Smith said to the team at halftime, but from all accounts it was by far the most emotional and loud he'd ever been at the half, and it worked.

The defense came out in the second half and did a good job of limiting the Packers to only three second half points.

As for what this win means for the rest of the Bears season, I don't know. Yes, it saved the season for now, but it isn't like we're Super Bowl-bound all of a sudden. After the game ended last night, Silvio texted me with a simple question I'm asking myself this morning.

"So now what? Do we get excited about the Bears?"

Well, the Sox and Cubs are done and the Bulls don't start for another month. So at this point, yeah, what the hell else do we have to get excited about?

Looking at the Bears schedule, there isn't a team on there we can't beat. But at the same time each of those teams are just as capable of beating the Bears. So at this point I think we can be excited about yesterday's win, but if the Bears come out and lose next week against Minnesota, it's all for naught.

Monster of the Midway

• Charles Tillman - I was thinking of giving this to Cedric Benson and his amazing 2.4 yards per carry, but I'm going to have to go with Peanut on this one. I didn't even know that Tillman was going to play last night, but thank God he did. His two strips of James Jones on consecutive Packer possessions are what won this game for the Bears. Or at least, allowed the Bears to win. Without those two plays the Bears probably would have been down 21-0 in the second quarter, and they wouldn't have come back from that.

Dumbass of the Day

• Cedric Benson - Seriously, 2.4 yards per carry? I know not all of the blame can go to Cedric here, as the offensive line wasn't giving him much room to work with, but the Bears aren't going to win many more games with that kind of performance on the ground. Brian Griese isn't going to win games through the air, so Cedric needs to step up. I can't say for sure that Thomas Jones would be performing that much better than Benson right now, but at the moment, that trade looks like a mistake.