There aren't many NFL teams whom I'm groomed to hate more than the Green Bay Packers, but if there's ever been another franchise that I just can't stand, it's the Dallas Cowboys. America's Team my ass.
So even though I understand that he went to Eastern Illinois, I don't get why the Cubs chose Tony Romo to throw out a first pitch and sing the stretch. I mean, he's from Brewers country, and he's a Dallas Cowboy.
Thankfully, he sucked.
Welcome to Asshole Of The Week, where every Friday your trusty Foul Balls editor picks out the one person from the previous seven days who makes him think, "Man, what an asshole." It could be anybody from an athlete, an owner, someone in the media, or just anybody who happens to catch my ire.
Our inaugural Asshole is Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich.
I had the first Asshole Of The Week post written and all ready to go, with the maiden Asshole set to be NBA commissioner David Stern for the recent fiasco that is the impending move of the Seattle Supersonics to Oklahoma City. Then late on Thursday I saw a comment left in High Five from loyal reader and commenter, JayBandit. What was it about?
Well, Jay came across a blog post about our wonderful Governor Rod Blagojevich. Now, I've never been a big fan of Blago for various reasons. None of which really have anything to do with politics.
There's the fact that for some reason, even though he's the governor of the entire state of Illinois, he spends the majority of his time in Chicago instead of the state's capital, Springfield. A minor offense, sure, but it's an annoyance.
More recently, there was the law passed in the state of Illinois that prohibited smoking in public venues such as bars. As someone who smokes, and spends a lot of his time in bars, this pissed me off greatly. Aren't bars supposed to be a place where you can get away from the daily grind, and partake in some good old fashioned vice? Now I can't smoke there? What's next? No beer at baseball games?
Speaking of baseball, Blago's biggest crime before yesterday was the fact that he's a Cubs fan. No man that's in charge of the state where I live should root for the Cubs, because it's obvious from the onset that he can't be that intelligent. I don't want a loser running my state! I'm a winner! Illinois is a winner! We got corn, man! Corn! And soybeans!! We got plenty of hogs too, and they're all under the helm of some drooling Cubs fan.
Still, being a Cubs fan from Chicago is no reason to lose your life, or be named AOTW. I mean, I'm friends with plenty of Cubs fans, some of whom even write for this site. So if all the reasons above are horrible offenses, but not enough to be named Asshole Of The Week, why am I giving this "honor" to Blago?
Check this shit out, from the blog Urbanagora.
Urbanagora has learned from a credible source that Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is a closet Dallas Cowboys fan. Even though he occasionally bets on the Bears, Blagojevich has been known to require interns, even those from Chicago, to clip news clippings about the Dallas Cowboys.
Our source reveals:
"When I interned for Blagojevich, in addition to clipping quotes about Chicago and Illinois politics, I was told to pull everything I could find about the Dallas Cowboys. On days I only found stories on current Chicago and Illinois events, I was told to look for Cowboys stories, but I was never asked for news about the Chicago Bears."
You son of a bitch. A Cowboys fan? A fucking Cowboys fan!? In my state!? Are you telling me that the walls of the Governor's mansion are covered in Tony Romo posters? If I voted, I'd kill somebody right now.
We all know that the New England Patriots are the best team in the NFL right now. I'm pretty sure the only way they don't go undefeated is if an asteroid strikes in Boston and blows the whole place to hell.
The question is, who's the second best team in the NFL?
A few weeks ago it was obviously the Indianapolis Colts, but ever since they lost to New England at home in Week 9, the Colts have looked pretty mediocre. They followed that loss with another one against the Chargers in Week 10, a game that saw Peyton Manning throw a career worst six interceptions.
They finally got another win this last Sunday against the Chiefs, but it wasn't exactly a victory to be proud of. Anytime you need a last-second field goal at home to beat a Larry Johnson-less Chiefs team, you're doing something wrong.
Whether it's the rash of injuries they've suffered the last few weeks, or whether they just haven't gotten over that loss to New England, the Colts look lost and extremely beatable.
The team that was supposed to take over their spot in the NFL hierarchy was the Pittsburgh Steelers, but they came out and laid an egg on Sunday, losing to the New York Jets. That just shouldn't happen, and anybody who loses to the Jets cannot be considered an elite team.
So you know what that means?
The horrible, mediocre, little brother of the AFC has stepped up and taken a seat next to the Patriots.
That's right. The NFC is starting to catch the AFC, at least at the top, anyway.
Right now I'd have to say the Dallas Cowboys are the best team in the NFL, non-Patriots division, of course.
If it wasn't for Tom Brady and Randy Moss, Tony Romo and Terrell Owens would be the story this season. Romo threw 4 touchdown passes on Sunday, all to Owens, as the Cowboys improved to 9-1 on the season.
The lone loss? To the Patriots.
The third best team in the NFL might be from the NFC as well, because as much as it pains me to say it, the Packers are 9-1 too. Though to be completely honest, I'm not sure I buy into Green Bay's performance. I mean, they lost to the Bears, how good can they be? 
Yes they're 9-1, but they haven't really played anybody this season. They've only played one team that currently has a winning record, the New York Giants. Everybody else is .500 or worse.
There won't be a rude awakening for the Packers though, because the rest of their schedule is a lot like the first half. They only have one tough game, and it's going to be a very important one, as they travel to Dallas on Thursday November 29th to play a game that will settle homefield advantage in the NFC.
Make no mistake about it, whoever emerges from the NFC is going to get their ass whipped by New England in the Super Bowl, but it's nice to see that at least somebody in the conference is good enough to at least be mentioned with AFC teams.
Foul Balls
John McDonough Leaves The Cubs - Apparently, I'm not the only one who's excited about the nice start the Blackhawks have gotten off to this season. (Second place and 4-0 against Detroit, bitch!) Cubs president John McDonough is so excited by the Hawks performance, he done quit his job!
Cubs president John McDonough will be introduced as the new president of the Blackhawks at a noon news conference Tuesday at the United Center.Obviously, with the uncertain future of the Cubs ownership McDonough couldn't be sure he'd still have a job by this time next year, so he did the smart thing and went to the Blackhawks. He'll either be seen as some kind of savior, or the Blackhawks will continue to be lousey and nobody will notice.
"He's as good as anyone in the country and just happens to be living in Chicago," Hawks chairman Rocky Wirtz told the Tribune on Tuesday. "I've watched the job he's done with the Cubs throughout the years. He's a guy that I think has great vision, leadership and I think he'll be a terrific addition to the Hawks organization."
I watched the Illini beat Arizona State in the first round of the Maui Invitational last night, and I was very impressed by what I saw. For more you can check out what I wrote at FanHouse.In an attempt to avoid a potential headache at the end of the regular season, the commissioners of the six BCS football conferences have voted to expand the pool of BCS at-large candidates from 14 to 18.So how does this affect the Illini? They're currently ranked 17th in the BCS.
The new rule goes into effect only if there aren't enough teams among the top 14 of the final BCS standings to fill 10 slots in the BCS National Championship Game, Orange Bowl, Sugar Bowl, Fiesta Bowl and Rose Bowl.
Well, wasn't that just fantastic?
The Bears were beat in every facet of the game Sunday night, and they deserved every second of the 34-10 beatdown received at the hands of the Cowboys.
I dare you to find one facet of the game where you can say the Bears did a good job.
Go ahead, take your time.
If you said something and weren't being sarcastic, you're an idiot. Leave this site immediately and go read Mariotti's column.
The first half of the game was okay. The second half was horrible.
Couldn't move the ball. Couldn't stop Dallas. Couldn't tackle. Couldn't catch. Couldn't stop pulling groins. Couldn't catch any kickoffs or punts.
Couldn't do anything.
For a few seconds I thought I'd entered some crazy time warp and was suddenly watching last week's Notre Dame game.
Here's one thing I have to know, though. I'm pretty sure the Cowboys only ran the ball once during the second half before they'd blown the game open. So why then didn't the Bears just start dropping everybody into coverage? Isn't that what the Tampa-2 is? I know they really only use it on third downs, but when you know the offense is going to throw, every down is a third down.
It's tough to blame the defense for this one. When when you're on the field all night, you tend to get worn down.
No, this loss was a full team effort but I think the brunt of the blame has to go to the offense, and that midget in the #8. The Dallas defense was absolutely horrible in the first two weeks of the season, and we could only manage 10 points against them?
The time has come for Brian Griese to take over the starting quarterback position.
I've finally had it with Grossman.
Is Griese better than Grossman? Not exactly, but the key is he's not as bad.
I mean, seriously, what the hell do the Bears have to lose at this point? What more do they need to see from Grossman to realize that the kid is just not cut out to be a NFL quarterback? I know I defended him for a while, but I have seen the light. Rex has to go.
Still, it's not all Rex's fault. I think Silvio put it best when I asked him why we don't just pull Grossman when we were down late, and he replied,
"Yeah, and bring in receivers that run complete routes and that can catch. A running back that can pick up blitzes and doesn't fumble. Defensive backs that can tackle, and a defensive line that doesn't get faked out by the quarterback all the time."Of course, you'll notice that even though he muffed two kicks and fumbled another, neither of us mentioned Devin Hester. He's the only offensive weapon we have, so I guess we'll just have to allow him to have a bad game from time to time.
For the last week or so, all we heard from the Cowboys is that Norv Turner was the leading candidate to take over for Bill Parcells. The only reason they hadn't announced it was that Jerry Jones wanted to wait for Super Bowl XLI to end so he could interview Ron Rivera.
Well, Jerry's interviewed all of his candidates, and he's found his man.
It's not Norv Turner. Or Ron Rivera.
It's Wade Phillips, former Broncos and Bills head coach (45-38 as a head coach), and current defensive coordinator of the San Diego Chargers.
League and Cowboys sources have told ESPN's Chris Mortensen that Chargers defensive coordinator Wade Phillips will be named Dallas' head coach. Phillips traveled from San Diego to Dallas on Wednesday night after being told that he was their choice to replace the now-retired Parcells.So what happened with Rivera and Turner? The theory is that since the Cowboys have run a 3-4 defense that last few seasons, Phillips is the better fit since that's what he coaches and ran in San Diego. Rivera uses the 4-3, and the Cowboys would have to change their personnel to fit into his schemes.
While contract details must still be worked out and a contract signed, a formal team
announcement could come as early as Thursday.
As far as how the Bears would replace Rivera, it's not that big of a deal. As long as Lovie Smith is still the head coach, the Bears have their defense. They just need somebody to run it, and that will likely come from within the organization anyway.
So while I don't want to lose Rivera, that's just the fan in me talking. Looking at it from a neutral perspective, leaving is probably Rivera's best option.
As reported here last week, the Dallas Cowboys are interested in Ron Rivera. Nobody is 
sure whether or not it's as a head coach or defensive coordinator, but Jerry Jones wants him.
And the Bears are going to let Chico listen to what Dallas has to say.
According to sources, the Cowboys obtained permission Tuesday morning from the Chicago Bears to interview defensive coordinator Ron Rivera for their head-coaching position.Well, the article was on point. Thanks to the snow falling here in Chicago, Rivera's flight has been delayed. (It's a sign, Chico! It's a sign!!) It's still likely he can get to Dallas tonight to interview with Jerry Jones.
A source close to the Chicago Bears said that Rivera is on his way to Dallas (barring weather issues, because it is snowing in Chicago right now) and is intending to interview with Cowboys owner Jerry Jones Tuesday afternoon.
Since Bill Parcells retired just last week, Jerry Jones has interviewed just about everybody for the Cowboys head coaching position. (I have an interview in 15 minutes.)
Could it be that Jerry is just waiting for the guy he really wants to become available?
For a while, rumors flew around that Jones and the Cowboys were going to go after Lovie Smith after the Super Bowl.
Well, right team, wrong coach.
While Norv Turner remains the leading candidate to be the next head coach of the Dallas Cowboys, ESPN's Chris Mortensen reported Wednesday that anotherNorv Turner has also gone on the record that if he were selected to be the Cowboys head coach, he would want Ron Rivera to be his defensive coordinator. Whether or not Rivera would be interested in a lateral move, or would only leave Chicago for a head coach position, remains to be seen.candidate has emerged: Bears defensive coordinator Ron Rivera.
And in his first public comments since Parcells retired Jan. 22, owner and general manager Jerry Jones said he wouldn't have a decision on a new coach until next week. Jones has interviewed eight candidates so far.
"We've got a good football team, and I've got to get this right," Jones said. "We've got to make a good decision when we select the next coach. We're going to have the opportunity and a plan in place that will allow us to do that."
"That's something I'd address if it ever came to fruition. Right now, I can't tell you because I don't know anything. It's kind of frustrating because nobody has told me anything."I think "came to fruition" is a Latin phrase meaning "If they offered me more money."
Mike Singletary, former Chicago Bears linebacker and current San Francisco assistant head coach, is scheduled to interview with Jerry Jones for the Cowboys head coaching job today. 
He is the eighth candidate to be interviewed for the job that Bill Parcells vacated.
Given Jones' history in hiring head coaches, normally I'd just figure Samurai has no chance. I assumed he's just the token black guy being interviewed to satisfy the NFL's Rooney Rule.
Turns out, Jones already fulfilled that requirement when he interviewed Todd Bowles, a member of Parcells' staff.
So maybe this is the real deal. I still don't think he'll get the job - it'll probably go to Norv Turner or Wade Phillips - but Singletary will be a head coach in the NFL someday soon. I'm not sure the Dallas job is the best one to go after since there's so much talk that Jerry Jones just wants an "interim" head coach until he can try and coax Bill Cowher out of retirement after next season.
Of course, that doesn't mean Mike Singletary shouldn't try his hardest to get the job. My advice? Well, Mike, I've already got your whole interview planned out.
Kick down Jones' door and just tell him who you are.
And only cuz it's been a pretty slow news day, we have one more Tony 
Romo post. For those who don't know, ever since Romo took over the starting job in Dallas, a blog popped up called TonyHomo.com.
The premise of the blog was somebody pretending to be Drew Bledsoe, the man whose job Romo took. It really was one of the funniest things on the internet, and we say was, cuz it's retired.
TonyHomo.com made its last post yesterday since the Cowboys season is now over, but they didn't leave without getting one final dig in at Romo.
As Homo sat by his locker, with this head in his hands shivering from sadness, tears rolling off of his elbows and onto his knees, I almost felt bad enough not to mess with him... But I couldn't resist!It turns out that the site was a production by Amir of Straight Cash, Homey! Of course Amir is known to most as one of the guys from College Humor. He's just a really busy man, and we'd like to thank Amir for amusing us the last few months with TonyHomo, it was fun.
I walked up to him, put my hand on his shoulder and said "Hey Buddy. I know how you're feeling. This is probably the low point in your life. You look around and you're surrounded by a room full of people you've disappointed today. It's tough to look any one of us in the eye and say "Thanks for practicing all year long and preparing, but it doesn't matter because I couldn't hold onto a football." As an athlete there is nothing worse than letting your team down. It's hard, I know. It's really hard. But on the plus side I saved a lot of money on my car insurance by switching to Geiko. Also -- Did you get my letter? Because I think I forgot to STAMP IT!"
He moved his foot as I went to stomp on it, but I think I got him pretty good otherwise.
Ya, we're pretty sure all of you have seen this by now, if not 1,000 times. But maybe, just maybe, you haven't. So we feel the need to post it here.
If you don't know the situation, the Cowboys were trailing Seattle 21-20 late on Saturday. They then marched all the way downfield, and were set up for a 20-yard field goal that would have given them the lead with a minute left.
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