Jay Mariotti Cannot Write For The Chicago Tribune

Read the post at SPORTSbyBROOKS

But Who Will Tell Me How Bad Our Teams Suck?

In case you haven't heard the news, tis a dark day in Chicago my friends. This morning we are forced to enter a new frontier in Chicago sports, a dark and scary frontier. It's not going to be easy, but I think if we all work together, we're going to get through this.

Though it just won't be the same. It will be better.

Sports columnist Jay Mariotti has left the Chicago Sun-Times to pursue other opportunities. Mariotti, also a regular panelist on ESPN's "Around the Horn," joined the Sun-Times in 1991.

Is today the greatest day in the history of the world? Why yes, yes it is.

I'll miss you, Jay. Seriously. I know you may find this hard to believe, but the odds are if it hadn't been for reading you regularly in the Chicago Sun-Times growing up, I never would have gotten into writing about sports.

You pissed me off enough that I felt the need to share my own opinion instead of just bitching about yours, so for that, I thank you. Good luck in whatever you do next.

Seriously, Nobody Likes Jay Mariotti

He may be psychic and all, but it's still a fact that nobody likes Jay Mariotti. I don't like him. You don't like him. Other blogs don't like him, hell, I wouldn't be surprised if his own mother didn't like him.

Now, though, now it's becoming a lot more apparent that his co-workers don't like him either. You may remember last week when I thanked the Sun-Times Chris DeLuca for calling Jay out in a column for his opinion that the White Sox should fire Ozzie Guillen, and I gave Chris credit for finally coming out and saying what most of us have thought about Jay for a while.

Well, it turns out that Chris wasn't the only Sun-Times columnist ready to take Jay to task last week, as Mariotti's long-time enemy Rick Telander wanted to say something as well. The paper just wouldn't let him.

From the Tribune's Teddy Greenstein.

Now Mariotti is taking body blows from his own colleagues at the Sun-Times. The situation heated up to the point that Editor-in-Chief Michael Cooke stepped in last week to symbolically separate Mariotti from fellow sports columnist Rick Telander, after Sun-Times editors refused to run columns Telander filed for the Wednesday and Friday papers.

The conflict started after Mariotti wrote last week of Guillen: "As you may have noticed through the years, I am the Blizzard's only critic in the Chicago media, mostly because my soft colleagues either fear Guillen's wrath, enjoy how he rips me, work for one of the Reinsdorf-controlled broadcast outlets or are afraid of getting on the chairman's bad side."

The next day, Sun-Times national baseball writer Chris De Luca led his column this way: "The same critics who avoid ever stepping into the White Sox's clubhouse are calling the Chicago media soft for not skewering manager Ozzie Guillen. They want Guillen fired yesterday. Sounds tough, but the rhetoric comes up a little, well, soft."

Telander also believed Mariotti had unfairly impugned his reputation and fired back in a Wednesday column that got spiked (edit. note: that means it got dropped), according to media insiders. The paper explained to its readers in a box that Telander was taking the day off.

"I'm a big boy and I can handle this," [Telander] said. "The people I feel sorry for are the hard-working, talented journalists at the Sun-Times like Chris De Luca, Joe Cowley, Toni Ginnetti, Gordon Wittenmyer, Carol Slezak and Greg Couch."

Gotta love that extra rip on Mariotti by Telander at the end. What I'm wondering, though, is why the Sun-Times doesn't play this feud up. God knows the paper is struggling as everyday it seems to be a few pages thinner, and playing up something like this might actually help to sell more papers. I know I'd enjoy it.

Nobody Likes Jay

It's no secret amongst the sports blogosphere, and here in particular, that a lot of people aren't exactly big fans of Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti. Of course, this is exactly what Mariotti wants seeing as how his whole approach to forming an opinion is to find out what most people in this city think, and then go the complete opposite way.

I can't fault him for it, as it's made him a decent amount of money his career, and helped him gain a lot of notoriety. Good for him.

Still, while I've heard rumors that a lot of the other writers at the Sun-Times aren't big fans of Jay either, I've never been in the newsroom there so I have no idea if any of them are true. If only the other writers would figure out ways to take subtle shots at Jay in their own columns...

Actually, yeah, they've started doing that now. After Mariotti's latest "Ozzie Guillen is a scourge upon society and should be burned alive" column, calling for the White Sox manager to be fired after he "called out" Kenny Williams, fellow Sun-Times columnist Chris DeLuca took exception to Mariotti's column and called him out on Wednesday.

From the very first paragraph of Chris's column yesterday.

The same critics who avoid ever stepping into the White Sox' clubhouse are calling the Chicago media soft for not skewering manager Ozzie Guillen. They want Guillen fired yesterday. Sounds tough, but the rhetoric comes up a little, well, soft.

Problem is, they never mention who would do a better job managing this team.

Come up with one name.

You're doing the Lord's work, Mr. DeLuca. Keep it up.

A.J. Pierzynski Owns Beat Reporters

So apparently Chicago Sun-Times beat reporter Joe Cowley fancies himself to be more than just a beat reporter, he's an athlete. Or at least he thinks he is. During the spring Cowley decided to take on White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski in a friendly competition.

In 2007, Pierzynski only managed to throw out 16% of baserunners trying to steal on him. Cowley saw that and figured that he could easily steal at least five bases in ten attempts against A.J...

See the video at FanHouse

The Chicago Sun-Times Wants Cubs Fans To Cry

Okay, I'm not going to pile on the Cubs and piss off all of you Cubs fans out there. I mean, I'm sure you all feel pretty crappy enough this morning after staying up late to watch your team lose, and then having to go to work this morning.

But I want you to know something. Things could be a lot worse right now.

Jay Mariotti could be calling you.

Can't stay awake for the night owl games? Let Jay Mariotti and the Sun-Times help. Sign up for our Cubs recap wakeup service below and get the first word from Jay first thing in the morning - right to your phone! It's the best way in town to find out how your late-night heroes finished in the wee hours.

Yes, that's right, Jay Mariotti could call you, Chicago, and tell you how the Cubs and Lou Piniella fucked up the night before. Isn't that awesome?

I mean, the Chicago Sun-Times just keeps rewarding us with more Mariotti, and I have no idea what we have done to deserve such an honor. Are his four columns a week not enough for you? Well, don't worry, the paper has already started publishing about five Mariotti columns online every day! (Just don't call it a blog!)

Now we get to hear his sexy voice first thing in the morning!? This is the greatest birthday EVER!!!

Maybe next week, the Sun-Times can start running a promotion to have Britney Spears babysit your kids.

Chicago Columnists Are Annoying

I tend not to read Mariotti anymore because he generally does nothing but make me angry, but once in a while I'll see a headline of his and I have to read it. Yesterday was one of those days.

Mariotti wrote an entire column on the rap song that Bears first-round pick Greg Olson recorded as an 18-year old freshman at the University of Miami.

We all did stupid things in college. You did, I did, Jerry Angelo did. But most of us never were stupid enough to record a gangsta-rap ode to dormitory sex that was so relentlessly raunchy, repulsive and denigrating to women -- ''hos'' are mentioned 15 times, ''bitches'' 18 times, the F-word 29 times -- that Snoop Dogg might even blush. Simply consider the chorus from a little ditty titled, ''7th Floor Crew,'' from a group by the same name.

And let's face it, there is no greater authority on all things Snoop Dogg than Jay Mariotti. Jay then blathers on about how this is the next step in the downfall that is the Chicago Bears. I'm pretty sure he also works in how it's all Rex Grossman's fault at somepoint.

Jay is right about one thing though. We all do stupid things at 18. Where he's wrong is in stating that what Olson did was such a horrible offense. No Jay, it's just as stupid and harmless as anything you did when you were 18, it's just you're an out of touch moron so you just don't see the difference.

I hate to break it to you, but this is nothing more than a kid being a kid and I really wonder about the motive here. If Greg Olson was a black 18-year old college freshman recording the same song, would anyone give a shit?

No. This is nothing more than middle-aged white America having trouble dealing with the fact that white people can be influenced by hip-hop culture. The horror. Oh the horror.

The thing is, the stupidity didn't stop with Mariotti's column. In an online column, Carol Slezak expressed the same kind of shock that Mariotti did and even titled it "Olsen's Rap Makes Imus Look Like Feminist."

After listening to all 8 minutes and 56 seconds of this unbelievably disgusting rap, I was shaking in anger and shock. How is it possible for these young men to have such little respect -- or is it hatred? -- for women? If Don Imus got fired for the comments he made about the Rutgers women's basketball team, these guys deserve jail time by comparison.

Jesus Christ. Did she really just say that Greg Olsen should go to prison for this?

How in the hell is what Olsen did anything like Don Imus?! Imus is a grown ass man on a nationally syndicated radio show making blatantly racist comments. Olsen was an 18-year old kid singing along to a song that you can hear just about any god damned time you turn on your radio.

This shouldn't even be a story, let alone an issue. Just another reason why the common sports fan is turning more and more to the internet for their sports news.

An Inconvenient Column

Normally, when I open my copy of the Chicago Sun-Times and I see that Mariotti has the day off, I rejoice. It's like a gift from the Gods that I don't have to look at that picture.

Instead, yesterday there was a column from Rick Telander.

And what was Telander's column about?

Global warming.

What. The. Hell?

I'm sorry, I thought I was in the sports section, and I get this:

Hey, Chicagoans, how would you like to live in the Miami of the Midwest? All you gotta do is stay put! Climate-wise, in 50 years, maybe less, Chicago could be what Miami is now -- minus the proximity to Havana, of course, and minus the fact a good part of South Florida might be under water.

Forget January snowball fights in Grant Park.

How about spring-break water skiing on Lake Michigan?

How about Christmas margaritas outdoors?

By now, you've heard of global warming.

I'm guessing the only people who don't think the condition is real and largely man-created are right-wing loon Ann Coulter -- whose little black dress will give way to a little black bikini with temperature increase -- and flat-earth societies.

Boy, you're right, Mr. Telander. I sure have heard of this global warming! Sounds terrific, I could use a break from these harsh Chicago winters. You know what else I've heard of, though?

Sports.

You know, that topic you're supposed to be writing about. So get to it.

Sports Illustrated, not exactly a scientific journal, just used a doctored photo on its cover of Florida Marlins pitcher Dontrelle Willis standing on the pitcher's mound at Dolphin Stadium in Miami, thigh-deep in water.

''SPORTS AND GLOBAL WARMING,'' the headline reads. ''As the Planet Changes, So Do the Games We Play -- Time to Pay Attention.''

Ya think?

Ice caps that have been around for millennia are melting swiftly.

The ocean is expected to rise anywhere from a minimum of 4 inches to 3 feet by 2100. If that doesn't sound like much, consider that 4 inches would imperil many of our Eastern beach areas, and 3 feet would, according to the April cover story in The Atlantic, threaten the survival of countries from Bangladesh to the Netherlands, ''while submerging pretty much all of the world's trendy beach destinations to boot.''

SI lists 13 ballparks and arenas -- from San Francisco to Jacksonville, Fla., from Oracle Arena in Oakland, Calif., to Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, Fla. -- that will be under water with a 1-meter sea-level rise.

In its quaint, sports-focused way, SI neglects to mention that the host cities will be swamped, too.

Umm, okay.

So, Sports Illustrated wrote about global warming, and now we all have to?

You know what else SI did? They gave Beyonce Hepatitis A. Are you going to give me hepatitis tomorrow, Rick?

Listen, global warming is a hot topic (glorious puns) and I know the scariest part of what it could cause is the fact that Dolphin Stadium might be submerged in 100 years. Seriously, I wet the bed at night just thinking about it.

That said, I really want you to listen to what I'm going to say next.

You are a sports writer, Rick. Sports.

S-P-O-R-T-S.

So let Al Gore stick to talking about global warming. Did you know there's a pretty big basketball tournament going on as I write this? Maybe you should write something about that? The White Sox and Cubs are holding their spring training. Maybe there's a tale of interest there?

I do not want to open my sports section and be hit in the face with somebody's political agenda. That's what the rest of the paper is for. Just do your damn job. Thanks.