Chicago Makes The Cut

In what is surely the most exciting news of all time, the IOC released the final four candidates to host the 2016 summer games, which will coincidentally take place in the year 2016.

I'll bet you can't guess what one of those cities was....

Chicago has advanced to the final phase of the contest to become host city of the 2016 Summer Olympics, although it has ground to make up on its three remaining rivals before the International Olympic Committee's 110 members choose the winner Oct. 2, 2009.

The IOC executive committee decided Wednesday to eliminate three of the original seven bidders, Prague; Doha, Qatar; and Baku, Azerbaijan. That leaves Chicago, Rio de Janeiro, Madrid and Tokyo.

Wednesday's decision was based on evaluations in a report made by an IOC working group. Chicago wound up tied for third with Doha in the rankings. Tokyo placed highest -- followed by Madrid -- with Rio in fifth. The IOC executive board used the rankings as guidance rather than ultimate selection criteria.

"This is a key hurdle to have passed,'' said Bob Ctvrtlik (edit. note: That's a hell of a name you got there Bob.), the U.S. Olympic Committee vice-president for international relations. "Now the bid committee and the city and the USOC and the nation have to unite behind Chicago.''

Whoopee.

Yeah, so it's pretty hard to get excited about something that could possibly happen in eight years, especially when I don't really want the Olympics in Chicago in the first place. But what I don't get is what all the fuss about it.

The world is going to end in 2012 anyway, folks. Don't you people watch the History Channel?

On the Marathon, Mariotti, and the Olympics

One of the bigger stories in the city of Chicago the last few days is the recently completed Chicago marathon.

In short, it was a disaster.

Thanks to the heat and what seems like a general lack of preparation, there were a ton of people that needed to be hospitalized, and even one fatality. 35-year old Chad Schieber, a police officer from Michigan, died as a result of running in the race.

The doctors say Schieber's death was related to a heart condition, not the heat. While I'm sure they're right, I highly doubt that the heat didn't have just a little something to do with it.

Anyway, I'm not here to add to the pile of people in this town writing about what morons the marathon organizers are. I've never been in charge of planning a marathon, and I have absolutely no idea what goes into it (where do you place the cones!?), so I'm not going to pretend I do and tell everyone what they did wrong. It's already been done to death.

But what annoys me about the coverage of this story is that people are acting like those who chose to run had absolutely no say in it. As if once they signed up for the race, they were contractually obliged to complete it.

Anybody who decides to run in one of these things is aware of what's going to come with it. Running 26.2 miles isn't exactly good for the body. All you have do is see somebody who ran a marathon the day after.

It's not pretty.

My point here is that the guy who died could have thought to himself at some point, "Damn. It's hot out here today. Maybe it's not the best idea in the world for me to run 26.2 miles today. I do have that heart condition and all."

Now I'm not placing all the blame on the runners. The marathon organizers have to share the blame. I'm just annoyed we seem to be putting all the responsibility on the organizers.

So moving on, there was only one thing I read yesterday about the marathon that truly made me shake my head, and I'll be you never guess who wrote it.

That's right, Mariotti.

This isn't going to be one of those posts where I rip on Mariotti, though, because the opinion he shared is one that a lot of people in this city seem to have right now. They think Chicago actually has a chance to land the Olympics in 2016, and Mariotti's concerned the debacle that was the marathon could cost the city its chance.

I'm disgusted today. You should be, too. Here we are, a major metropolis in the American heartland that aches to host the 2016 Olympics, and our sport organizers can't even grasp when it's too oppressively hot to stage a 26.2-mile road race for 35,000 runners.

What went down at the Chicago Marathon was an ill-timed lapse in basic common sense that might cost this town its five-ringed dream.

Honestly, would you award a Summer Games to a city where one runner dies, several more end up in hospitals in serious to critical condition and hundreds of others have to be helped through heat-related ailments and exhaustion by a large fleet of ambulances? As it is, U.S. Olympic Committee chief Peter Ueberroth thinks Chicago ranks as low as fourth on his perceived pecking order of 2016 candidates, urging a groundswell of politicking before savvier groups in Madrid, Rio de Janeiro and Tokyo gain insurmountable leads.

Listen, folks. The marathon did not cost this city a chance at the Olympics.

Now this may come as a shock to some of you, but the truth is, this city never had a chance at the Olympics.

Now I know what you're thinking, "Chicago doesn't have a chance?! We're the greatest city on earth! Of course we have a chance!"

I don't disagree that Chicago is, in fact, the greatest city on this planet. At least, of all the cities I've been to, Chicago blows them away. (That's right, Milwaukee, I said it.)

But that has nothing to do with why Chicago won't get the Olympics.

Do you know the biggest advantage Madrid, Rio and Tokyo have over Chicago ?

They aren't in the United States.

Guess what? The rest of the world isn't too high on this country at the moment. Be it the situation in Iraq, or just the way our President acts without seeking any input from places like the UN or anybody else not named God.

The world doesn't like that.

I'm not going to get into politics, because if you think I don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to sports, you should hear me talk politics. You can talk to Panger if you want to get political.

All I know is that when the world is mad at you, the last thing they're going to do is reward you.

So get this through your heads now: Chicago is not going to get the 2016 Olympics.

Hear it, accept it, move on.

Admittedly, I don't want the Olympics here, anyway. You think traffic in and around this city is bad now, just wait until the whole world shows up at the same time.

Don't get me wrong, I know that hosting the Olympics would bring in a ton of money for the city, but a bunch of that would go towards recouping all the money the city would have to spend to prepare the city for the games.

Sure, there will be money left after that, but this is Chicago. It's not going to go to the right places. Yeah, the city could use all that money to help finance it's public school system, but why do that when they could build a new skyscraper!? One even taller than the Sears Tower!

No, they'll just have to build that skyscraper the old fashioned way. By making us pay for it.

Chicago Picked to be U.S. City That Loses Bid for Olympics!!!

Yesterday, the U.S. Olympic Committee board of directors selected Chicago over two-time Olympic host Los Angeles as the U.S. candidate for the 2016 Summer Games.

Chicago focused on the compact, athlete-friendly nature of its plans, which would center the Games in or near downtown, minimizing travel times for the athletes.

But Chicago had to overcome questions about the financial viability of its plans, as the $366 million Olympic Stadium, $1.1 billion Olympic Village and $80 million aquatics center must be built. Chicago 2016 came up with what could be $1.15 billion in guarantees against shortfalls in a projected $2.9 billion operating budget. That includes $500 million approved by the city council, a proposed $150 million in state funds and a $500 million private guarantee.

Here's my favorite part. To sweeten the pot, The Windy City has added a scholarship program for Olympic athletes.

A consortium of Chicago-area colleges and universities has agreed to pay for 120 years worth of scholarships to athletes who compete in a 2016 Chicago Olympics... The idea... "is to help athletes whose education has been interrupted by dedication to sport."

What about, I dunno, scholarships to all the local kids whose education has been interrupted by the Chicago public school system?

It's not enough that we'd have to underwrite billions of dollars worth of buildings, suffer cosmic-sized traffic jams and endure security restrictions that will make Mossad look like Mister Rogers.

Now our universities are going to educate javelin throwers from Latvia.

Finally, a reason to be happy George Bush is President. Given our standing in the world community, a US city doesn't stand a chance of being chosen.

So good luck, Rio de Janeiro, Madrid, Rome, Tokyo and Prague! May you kick our asses in this competition!