Charles Barkley Turns to Boxing to Get In Shape

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Charles Barkley Is Never Going to Gamble Again, Or At Least Not This Week, Maybe Saturday

By now I'm sure you've heard about Charles Barkley and the $400,000 he owes the Wynn Casino in Las Vegas. Apparently the folks at TNT thought it was such a big deal that they made Charles do this sit down with Ernie Johnson before last night's game seven.

For some reason I just don't believe Charles when he says he's not going to gamble anymore. Maybe it's the fact that a few seconds later he says he's not going to gamble right now, or that he's not going to gamble for a year or two, I just don't see the conviction.

Though I should also point out that I could care less if Charles gambles. Do you know how much money the man probably has? When you combine the money from his playing career, the endorsements he had then, the TNT job, and the endorsements he has now, something tells me Chuck ain't hurting for money. If he wants to gamble, let him gamble.

Really, when you get down to it, it's no different than old retired ladies playing instant lotto tickets all the damn time. You got all this money, and you can't spend it after you're dead, so you may as well have some fun with it while you can. Just because Charles gambles with more money-because he can-doesn't make what he does any worse.

Charles Barkley Is a Dumbass

See, I told you.


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Why You Have To Watch TNT's Inside The NBA

Honestly, I love the NBA playoffs, and I've also been pretty open about my love for TNT's Inside The NBA. I mean, I watch the damn show religiously during the regular season, and like the teams they cover, Ernie, Charles, and Kenny step up their show in the postseason.

In last night's show, Kobe followed up his amazing performance against the Nuggets by stopping in and doing an interview with the guys, and of course, that video of him jumping an Aston Martin came up.

This is when the awesome happened.

See, this is what television should be like all the time.

Sir Charles on the Bulls: 'Y'all In Trouble'

I don't really think I need to go any further into how I feel about the Bulls this season, as I've been expressing my opinions all season long. So instead I'll turn it over to Charles Barkley, who is by far the greatest analyst in any sport ever. I generally enjoy watching Charles in the TNT studio with Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith more than the game that's being shown.

Charles did a conference call with Reggie Miller yesterday to talk about the upcoming NBA playoffs when the topic of the Bulls came up. As usual, Barkley didn't hold back.

"They have a bunch of good, little pieces, but they should have made trades," Barkley said. "Who is their best player? We start with that. Who is their best player? To be a great team in the NBA, you have to have at least one really good player. When you think about the Bulls, you don't even know who their best player is.

"When [Luol Deng and Ben Gordon] turn down $10 million to $12 million [per year], I'm like, 'Are you kidding me?' " he said. "First of all, that's highway robbery if you get that much money. They're just good players, not great players.

"If you offer a good player $10 million a year, he should get a pen as fast as he can."

Charles then finished with this salvo about the trades the Bulls never made.

"Whoever didn't make that trade was just stupid," he said. "Hey, Luol Deng is a good player but he's never going to be Pau Gasol and he's definitely never going to be Kevin Garnett. And now you're stuck. You're up the creek without a paddle, plain and simple."

He's 100% right, too. None of us can really say anything to the contrary about it either, because everybody I know was against trading Luol Deng at the time. The only way I wanted to see Deng traded in the last few years was for Kobe, and though I would have gotten over it if Deng had been sent to Minnesota for KG, I wasn't exactly thrilled with that idea at first either.

Of course, it's a lot easier for Charles or anyone to say this now, after we've all seen the disaster that ensued.

It's Time To Tug At Those Heart Strings

I noticed myself doing something the last two days, and it's going to stop. After the NFC and AFC championship games on Sunday, I went and complained about how we were now entering the two-week period where the Super Bowl was going to be needlessly over-hyped until the point that by the time the game comes around, no matter how good it is, it'll be anti-climactic.

Then I went out and wrote about the damn game for two straight days. Sure, the only reason I did it was because there was nothing going on locally worth writing about, but it didn't make it right. So I promise I'm not even going to mention football for the rest of the week.

Unless Pacman Jones goes to a strip club.

The problem with this is there still isn't anything going on around Chicago right now. We've reached the dead zone of the yearly sports schedule, where basketball is only at the halfway point, and the hot stove action in baseball is starting to cool down.

So it's times like these where you have to find those tiny little human interest stories to fill the gap. Luckily for me, Will Leitch found this one for me yesterday at Deadspin, so I didn't even have to do that.

The Cubs had their annual Cubs Convention this past weekend, where fans from all over the country come together to suck off of the collective teat of all things Cub, and talk about how "This is the year!!"

The White Sox are holding their annual SoxFest this weekend, and the atmosphere there is slightly different. It's not so much "I love you" as it is "What the hell are you guys going to do this year to not suck?"

As with all of these things, teams like to trot out their new additions and sacrifice them to the fans as early as possible. After all, they didn't play for the team last year, so it's kind of hard for fans to be pissed off at them for anything.

That will be the case for Nick Swisher, as he makes his first appearance at a White Sox fan fest, and when he gets there, he'll be meeting somebody he hasn't seen in a while.

His kindergarten teacher.

When Brenda Harvey meets Nick Swisher for the first time in more than 20 years soon, the first thing the Crown Point resident will do is see how much Swisher the motivated little boy remains in Swisher the grown man.

"Does his career measure up to the dream he had a kindergartner? Is this how he envisioned it?" Harvey said of some of the first questions she'll ask Swisher.

Harvey had an early scouting report on Swisher, now 27, as his young kindergarten teacher in Worthington, Ohio. At the time, Swisher said he wanted to be a big leaguer just like his father, former Cubs catcher Steve Swisher.

"I remember thinking, 'Poor little boy. He doesn't know the slim odds of becoming a professional baseball player,'" Harvey said. "I'm so glad he proved me wrong!"

It makes me wonder, too. Does my life measure up to what I dreamt when I was a kindergartner? The simple answer is no. No it doesn't.

I haven't been to the moon, I can't fly, I don't have rocket launchers connected to my forearms, and I'm yet to lead the White Sox to their fifth straight World Series title after hitting 100 home runs and winning 32 games as a pitcher, all the while leading the Bears with 2,500 rushing yards and 300 tackles.

Maybe I set the bar too high.

Foul Balls

You Don't Fuck Jesus, Jesus Fucks You - Or at least the people who follow him do. I didn't cover it much here, but a few weeks ago there was a roast of ESPN Radio's Mike and Mike. I didn't see any of it, other than a quick Jeffrey Ross bit, but I heard all about what went on there.

Including ESPN's Dana Jacobsen getting incredibly drunk, and saying some things she probably shouldn't have said. Things like "Fuck Notre Dame" and "Fuck Touchdown Jesus" and of course, "Fuck Jesus." The statements were directed at Charlie Weis, but it's hard to to say "Fuck Jesus" without pissing off a lot of people, and Dana has pissed off a lot of people.

The Catholic League, which is kinda like the Justice League I imagine, would like an apology. From Awful Announcing:

A Catholic advocacy group charges the sports TV network ESPN has failed to respond properly to a graphic rant by anchorwoman Dana Jacobson in which she "attacked Jesus Christ."

Catholic League president Bill Donohue said he pressed ESPN on the issue and received an e-mail with an unsatisfactory statement by Jacobson.

The statement said, in part, "My remarks about Notre Dame were foolish and insensitive. I respect all religions and did not mean anything derogatory by my poorly chosen words." Donohue contended the response "fails on several counts".

"It is obvious, then, that neither Jacobson nor ESPN is dealing with this matter in a professional way," Donohue declared. "To put this issue behind them, ESPN must deal with this issue quickly, publicly and fairly, something it has yet to do. After all, most Christians are yet unaware of this event, but once they learn of it, they are sure to demand accountability."

And by accountability, they mean they'd like to crucify here.

I was raised Catholic, but personally I don't care what Jacobsen said. I've said a lot of stupid things in my life, especially when I'm drunk. Things like "Of course I love you," or "I think peeing off of this roof onto Green Street is a perfectly good idea."

ESPN has suspended Jacobsen for a week for her remarks, which seems a bit much. Twenty Hail Mary's and a couple of Our Father's would probably suffice.

From The Trade Rumors That Better Not Be True Dept. - Are the Bulls about to wave the white flag? There are rumors coming out of New Jersey that the Bulls and Nets are talking trade.

Iannazzone says Chicago and NJ are discussing a trade which would put Andres Nocioni and Thabo Sefolosha in Nets threads, in exchange for Marcus Williams and a triptych of smallish expiring contracts.

Seriously, if this happens, I will not be pleased. Nocioni is the only guy on the team that actually comes to play every night, and is developing into one of our key scorers, and Thabo is finally becoming the player the Bulls thought he'd be when they drafted him last year.

Now they're going to up and trade both of them? Personally I think this is more wishful thinking on New Jersey's part, but given the way this Bulls season has gone, there will probably be a press conference announcing it tomorrow.

I'd also like to bet that triptych was on Ziller's word of the day calendar this morning.

Something To Kill Time At Work - I really can't explain how awesome this is, you kind of just have to watch the video.

I Really Hate ESPN

I've been spoiled. We all have.

I don't know about you but I cannot stand watching the NBA playoffs on ESPN anymore. The brilliance of TNT has ruined it for me.

Everything about TNT's playoff coverage is fantastic. Well, not Craig Sager. I can do without him and his petrified poop. But other than that, magnifique.

I didn't realize how much I loved TNT until I had to watch the Bulls play on ESPN Thursday night with Mike Tirico and Hubie Brown.

Granted, I don't have any problem with Tirico at all, but I would like to shove a screwdriver deep into Hubie's lazy eye.

Hubie after Tyrus Thomas makes a clean block on Lindsay Hunter's layup from behind:

"See, that's a good call. He got him on the body, it's a good call, Mike."

Keep in mind, they still haven't even shown the layup yet on the replay when Hubie declares it a good call. Hunter is still dribbling towards the basket.

They show the replay three times from three different angles, and you know what you never see? Any contact made between Tyrus and Lindsay. Just a kid who can jump 40 feet straight up into the air blocking a midget's layup.

Hubie later into the game after Tayshaun Prince hits a big jumpshot from the corner:

"The thing about Prince is he never gets too excited, and he never gets too down, Mike."

Meanwhile as he's saying this, on the TV Prince is jumping up and down, screaming, and chest bumping his teammates.

But, he's not excited.

It's as if Hubie is just reading off of a cue card and never actually watching the game. Every player is amazing, and any mistakes they make are just once in a lifetime occurrences.

Still, I'm just picking on Hubie. I should also note that despite my extreme distaste for Hubie, I find Mike Breen to be one of the best play by play guy's in the business.

Where ESPN severely lacks is in the studio. The pregame and halftime shows on ESPN are like watching paint dry, only nowhere near as exciting. At least watching paint dry you face the prospect of discovering you have to add another coat. With the ESPN halftime, you know it's going to suck. Absolutely no surprises. It's Fred "I Bring Absolutely Nothing To The Table" Hickman, Greg Anthony, Tim Legler, and STEPHEN "EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT" SMITH. To be fair, Anthony and Legler aren't bad, but they're no Barkley and Smith.

It's all because Inside the NBA on TNT is brilliant. Everyday, every game, Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith, and Charles Barkley keep me interested. And they keep me laughing.

Just to give you an idea of how much I love them, I've generally been watching the entire NBA postseason on my DVR. Even though I've recorded the entire Nets/Cavs series, I've only watched about 5 minutes from each game. But you know what? I've watched all five halftimes.

Seriously, I love the studio show on TNT so much that even when I'm watching these games after work at 2AM, and I have to be up early to bring you the beauty that is Foul Balls, I don't fast forward through halftime.

I have to watch it.

I sacrifice sleep for Charles Barkley.

Now I'm scared because I'm just realizing that the Western Conference Finals will be shown exclusively on ESPN. It's going to ruin it for me. The Spurs-Jazz matchup is going to be great, yet I don't even want to watch anymore.

I will, but it's not going to be as enjoyable as it should be.

As for the Eastern Conference, much like the Cavs-Nets series, the only reason I'll watch is for the studio show.

Do you think I really want to watch the Pistons and Cavs play? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the Pistons, but the fact that the Cavs can be so boring when they have LeBron James speaks volumes.

The worst part of all of this? Charles Barkley knows that the Eastern Conference Final is boring, so he won't even be excited about it. Which in the end, will lead to him being surly and disinterested in the studio.

So that's not going to be any fun either. Of course, Barkley was pretty enjoyable when he was pissed off cuz he couldn't go to the De La Hoya/Meriweather fight, so maybe it won't be so bad after all.

I'll be keeping my fingers crossed.

The "Round Mound" Expounds

I'm a big fan of Charles Barkley. His analysis on Inside the NBA is always inciteful (well, except for his Mavs fixation), and his extracurricular shenigans never fail to entertain.

But I like Barkley most when he turns his eye to the world beyond basketball.

In the most recent issue of The New Republic (yeah, I subscribe), Barkley speaks candidly about racism, classism and Sharptonism.

Here are a couple highlights:

Q: In terms of this rap thing, you were famous for saying that you didn't want to be a role model. Do you think that rappers who might be role models to kids have a responsibility to--have you changed your opinion on this subject at all?

A: We are really struggling in the black community because all our kids want to play sports or be rappers. And they don't even think about being doctors or lawyers or engineers or teachers or firemen or policemen. That is what I tried to do. And everyone is figuring this shit out now. I figured it out when I made that commercial back then. Our kids are getting washed. They are confused. When I go to speak at these schools, 99 percent of these kids want to play sports. They aren't gonna play sports. And that's when I went to Nike about making that commercial. Now as far as the rap thing, I am not sure how I feel about that. ... I used to say it is just music. Don't these people have any common sense? But now I am starting to think, maybe they don't have common sense.

Q: About the Duke case--

A: It was racism. Racism works both ways. The black people are racist. The guy was an idiot--Nifong. But those people assume the white guys were guilty and the black girl was telling the truth. That is reverse racism. Those people were full of shit down there. You have got to be really fair when you talk about race. You can't allow black people to be racist.

Q: Obviously everyone feels badly for these kids. But you hear people say, look, there are black people in America who are wrongly accused every day.

A: But two wrongs don't make a right. That don't justify it. You have to look at things individually.

Q: But does it say something about society--

A: That we are a racist society.

Love his candor. And I wish what he said about the Duke case would get wider play. Helluva guy. (Though he should really lay off those donuts.)

Sour Grapes?

As David Stern would say, what's with all this mishigous about Steve Nash?

First, Charles Barkley and Suns coach Mike D'Antoni get into a dust-up over the way the coach is handling his crown jewel point guard as the team moves towards the playoffs:

"Barkley criticized D’Antoni at length Tuesday night, saying the Suns coach is running the risk of wearing out Steve Nash for the playoffs by playing him too much now. He also said the Suns don’t play their backup point guards enough to allow them to develop confidence.

The next night, D’Antoni fired back at Barkley, pointing to past criticisms of Barkley’s efforts at staying in shape. 'He didn’t train. And he blew championships. If you train, maybe you don’t blow championships...We have a guy who trains.'”

Snap, Mikie.

Now, Shaq is getting into the fracas. According to the Arizona Republic (via Fanhouse):

O'Neal questioned how the media picks MVPs and said the award has been "tainted" the past two seasons. O'Neal was the runner-up for Nash's first MVP in 2005. O'Neal repeated "tainted" references to reporters.

Say what you want, Shaq, but if you want a measure of MVP qualifications, one need only look at the fact that the Suns didn't win a single game without Nash when he was out with back and shoulder problems.

Sure, if LeBron or Kobe or Dirk were out it'd be disastrous for their respective teams too, but factor in overall team performance and let's get real, the only other reasonable contender for MVP would be Dirk Nowitski.

So, sorry, Shaq, ya might wanna do some more running on the court and less running of your mouth. And Charles? Well, he's a great commentator and I love him, so even though the only dunkin' he's seeing is found on a donut box, I'll give him a pass.

Meanwhile, anyone who has a gripe with Steve Nash might wanna back off until the end of the season cuz I get the distinct feeling he could be the NBA's Peyton Manning.

It's Black Rhino Over Seabiscuit by a Length!

Honestly, for pure giggles, this is one of the more entertaining ten minutes I've seen in a long while.

Charles Barkley backed up his fighting words last night when he defeated Dick Bavetta in a footrace during NBA All-Star Saturday Night.

Huh, you say?

Well, the contest was planned after his "Inside the NBA" co-workers questioned whether the 44-year-old, 325-pound Barkley had the stamina to outrun the spry 67-year-old NBA ref.

The best line of the night was after the race when Barkley, looking at the oversized $50,000 check donated by the NBA to the Las Vegas Boys and Girls Club, proclaimed: "We're giving two blackjack hands to charity!"

Unfortunately, this clip doesn't include the video from earlier in the evening which showed Barkley "training" for the event by doing situps lifting only his head and eating Krispy Kremes. Classic.

All-Stars, you have a long way to go tonight to be as entertaining as these two.

Charles Barkley Enjoys His Problem

Remember earlier this year when Charles Barkley admitted to losing over $10 million in his lifetime of gambling?

Well, Charles is still talking publicly about his gambling habits.

Basketball Hall of Famer Charles Barkley admits he has a gambling problem, but said Monday that he's several thousand dollars richer after returning from Las Vegas.

In an interview with Phoenix television station KTVK, Barkley said he won "about $700,000" over the weekend.

"That was all profit [from] blackjack and I bet on the Super Bowl. I had the Colts," Barkley added. "I played a lot of blackjack."

It's a lot of money, but keep in mind that during the same interview Barkley admitted to losing $2.5 million in a six-hour period earlier this year.

Barkley is aware that he has a gambling problem, but being Charles Barkley, he doesn't care.

"It's a stupid, bad habit. I have a problem, but the problem is when you can't afford it. I can afford to gamble. I didn't kill myself when I lost two and half million dollars … I like to gamble and I'm not going to quit."

I can relate to Charles. While Panger is here on the weekend, you can usually find me in Vegas or Monaco routinely risking millions of dollars. This jet-setting, playboy lifestyle of mine is just one of the many perks of being a blogger.

The Basketball Diaries - We Want Barkley

Los Angeles Lakers 132 Sacramento Kings 128 OT

Last night was only another confirmation that no matter the sporting event, if it's televised, Charles Barkley should be doing the color. He doesn't really offer any kind of analysis, but he's entertaining. I want to hear Chuck doing the color on a hunting show. "Oh man. Thass terrible!! You see that deer? That deer is stupid. He just walked right out there, and this guy has a gun. It deserved to die. Thass just stupid." You know you'd watch it. Oh, and the Kings came back from a 21 point deficit in the third quarter and took the lead late in the fourth. They then blew that lead and lost the game in overtime. Kobe didn't score in the first 16 minutes of action, yet finished with 42 points and 10 rebounds. Mike Bibby had 38 for Sacto.

Dallas Mavericks 100 Indiana Pacers 91

The Mavs now have their second 12-game win streak of the season, and they're only 33 games into the season. Thursday night it was Devin Harris taking over the fourth quarter by driving the lane repeatedly for 13 of his 24 points. "We really pushed the ball in transition to get some easy baskets and I was able to finish," Harris said. "We mixed it up and got some easy baskets." Josh Howard had 25, and Dirk Nowitzki had 20.

Detroit Pistons 92 The NOOCH 68

What happens when you take Chauncey Billups away from the Pistons, and Chris Paul away from the Hornets? A game we really didn't want to watch. Rip Hamilton picked up any slack left by Billups absence by scoring 27 points, with 15 of those in the first quarter to set the tone. "I think that our game plan coming into the game was to try to hit first more than anything. Be the aggressor. Don't be backpedaling," Hamilton said. "A lot of times when we play teams like this, we kind of ease our way into the game. I wanted to make a statement from the beginning, to tell the guys on the team: `Yo! I'm coming at these dudes. You better come on with me." That's kinda how we approach this blog, and life in general. You comin' on with us or what?