Patrick Kane Has Upgraded

I spent a lot of time doing a lot of research, but after countless days spent in the dark corner of a room, shunning the outside world for my craft, I believe I have finally figured out why winning a Stanley Cup is so important. Why hockey players spend their lives honing their craft, all in an effort to one day hoist the Stanley Cup over their head, and have their name immortalized on it.

The results are after the jump.

Alexei Ramirez Gets A Contract Extension

While Matt Forte may want a contract extension, it seems that Alexei Ramirez has already gotten one. While the White Sox are yet to announce it officially, it is being reported by Jorge Ebro and confirmed by the El Nuevo Herald -- I subscribe! -- that Ramirez has signed an extension with the White Sox.

The deal is reportedly a four-year contract worth $32.5 million with a club option for 2016 that would pay Alexei $10 million.

A.J. Pierzynski Lost Some Of My Respect

I've always been a fan of A.J. Pierzynski since he joined the White Sox in 2005. When he was with the Twins, like every self-respecting White Sox fan, I hated him. He was a Twin, and an annoying one at that, so he was to be hated.

Still, since he's been here I've grown to appreciate him. When he was a free agent this winter, while I would have understood if the Sox let him walk and went in another direction, inside I was hoping that Pierzynski would be brought back. Of course, that was before I came upon some new information.

Matt Forte Wants A Contract Extension

You know what's more depressing about the idea of 18 inches of snow pounding the Chicago area over the next few days, and knowing I'll be stuck indoors? The idea that a week from today, the football season will be officially over. What makes that even worse is the knowledge that, depending on how the labor situation goes over the summer, it could be a very long time until we have NFL football again. Sure, I'll still have college, and that will get me through the winter, but the idea of an entire year without a fantasy football team.....

I don't even want to finish the sentence. It terrifies me that much.

With that uncertain future in mind, Bears running back Matt Forte would like to get a better idea of where he'll stand in the future financially. So it's not exactly surprising that after a great season behind an offensive line consisting of rubber bands and scotch tape, Forte is broaching the subject of a contract extension.

Mike Adamle Will Dance And Do Head Stands If You Pull Him Over

Remember the night before the NFC Championship Game when I titled a post "Mike Adamle Has Lost His Mind" after he did the NBC newscast that night with CutlerFacePaintCutlerFace? Well, I didn't really think that Adamle was insane at the time. I just thought he was a little overexcited for the Bears game against the Packers the following morning.

Well, now I'm pretty sure he actually is insane. Like get pulled over and dance for the cops while doing a headstand insane.

Search For Santo's Replacement Down To Two

Here's something exciting to think about. Pitchers and catchers report to Cubs spring training in 16 days, and for the White Sox in 19 days. I know that's somewhat hard to believe, but really, baseball season is going to be here before we know it.

Of course, that means that the Cubs don't have much time left to figure out who is going to replace Ron Santo in the radio booth. Spring training will be a good chance for the new guy to develop a rapport with Pat Hughes and get ready for a long season. According to a report in the Chicago Tribune, that new guy will be one of two remaining finalists.

Jay Cutler Is Worse Than Ben Roethlisberger and Michael Vick

Worse Than Hitler

ESPN's Sportsnation ran a poll about which one of the following three quarterbacks is the least likeable: Jay Cutler, Ben Roethlisberger or Mike Vick.  Let's compare the three.

• Ben Roethlisberger - Has won a few Super Bowls, is going to a third, and may or may not have raped a woman in a bathroom stall.
• Mike Vick - Spent two years in federal prison for dogfighting.
• Jay Cutler - Looks sad a lot.

I bet you'll never guess who America hates the most!

Derrick Rose Has Stomach Ulcers

The Bulls have suffered through plenty of injuries this season, losing both Carlos Boozer and Joakim Noah for extended periods of time. Despite the injuries, the Bulls are 31-14 and third in the Eastern Conference behind Boston and Miami. The reason for that is Derrick Rose, who has been phenomenal all season long, and is being lauded as a MVP candidate because of it.

Which is what makes the following news a bit scary. Rose missed practice on Wednesday with "flu-like symptoms" and missed practice again today. And it's not because he has the flu either, it's because Derrick Rose apparently has stomach ulcers.

Breaking: NBA Star Cheats On Wife

Listen, this isn't really the type of story I like to blog about here, but I'm trying to find anything going on in this city that doesn't involve Jay Cutler right now. I was toying with the idea of doing a post on whether or not Derrick Rose is tough enough since he's missing practice today with the flu, but I don't want to mess with the best thing this city has going for it right now.

So instead I'll talk about Derrick's teammate Carlos Boozer, and how he had sex with a woman who wasn't his wife while he was still married. Oh, and she happens to be a contestant on The Bachelor. Which I have never watched, and never will watch.

CSI: Cutler

This video is making the rounds on the internetz this morning, as some Bears fan who calls himself Your Boy Roy did some investigating to try and figure out exactly when Jay Cutler hurt his knee on Sunday. Now, I'm trying to move on from all this, as I'm sick and tired of hearing about Jay Cutler and his toughness right now, but I have to give this video some air time here.

How can you not pay attention to the detective skills of a guy who calls himself Your Boy Roy and drinks beer out of a brandy snifter? You can't.

Runaway Train: Todd Wellemeyer Seems Like A Dick

The Cubs announced yesterday that they signed Todd Wellemeyer to a minor-league contract on Tuesday. It's Wellemeyer's second stint with the Cubs, but none of that matters. What matters is that Todd Wellemeyer seems like a dick.

Car Salesman Fired For Being A Packers Fan

The Bears/Packer rivalry is an old one, with many strong feelings on both sides. Fans on both sides aren't incredibly rational when it comes to their feelings about one another.

There are people whom I regularly converse with on Twitter whom I've hated for the last 48 hours just because they're Packers fans. In a week I'll like them again, but at the moment the wound is still a bit too fresh for me.

Of course, this doesn't mean I'm going to unfollow any of them, or cease all communication with them. Though apparently there's someone running a car dealership in Oak Lawn who couldn't say the same.

You Guys Totally Misunderstood Maurice Jones-Drew

Seriously, I'm trying to get past this whole Jay Cutler knee injury and his manhood debacle too. I'm growing just as tired of it as you are, but damn it if I'm not still bitter about yesterday and need to blow off steam. Then I see a story about Maurice Jones-Drew saying that his comments on Twitter yesterday weren't directed at Jay Cutler.

Seriously, he's actually trying to say that. Why not just go with the MY TWITTER WAS HACKED defense that is so popular?  Anyway, that's what Jones-Drew told the AP, but let's take a look at the evidence.

Jerry Angelo Plans On Giving Lovie An Extension

Hey, a Bears post that isn't about Jay Cutler.

Jerry Angelo took the time to talk to the media today following the end of the Bears season on Sunday, and after getting pretty ticked off at people for questioning Jay Cutler's toughness, things turned to topics that actually matter a little.  Specifically, whether or not Lovie Smith is going to get a contract extension.

It sounds like he is.

Jay Cutler Has A Torn MCL

The news we've been waiting for, at least part of it, is here.  According to Sean Jensen of the Chicago Sun-Times, Jay Cutler has a torn MCL though the severity of the injury is not known at this point.  The MRI Cutler is scheduled to undergo on Monday will give us more information on that.

Can Jay Cutler Recover From This?

A few years ago, Rex Grossman had a terrible performance in the Bears Super Bowl loss against the Indianapolis Colts.  This was nothing new for Grossman or for Bears fans.  Grossman's career in Chicago went up and down, but that rainy night in Miami effectively killed his career in Chicago.  Bears fans were never going to forgive him for that game.

He was then replaced by Kyle Orton, and Orton was then traded to Denver for Jay Cutler.  Now, after leaving the NFC Championship Game with a knee injury in the third quarter, you have to wonder if Cutler will suffer the same fate as Rex.

Another Season Bites The Dust

There's no getting around it, Sunday afternoon sucked.  It's one thing to lose in an NFC Championship Game, getting so close to the Super Bowl.  It's another thing to lose that game against your most hated rival and know that for the next eight months there's absolutely nothing that you can do about it.

Your Packers fan friends -- if you hate yourself enough to have any -- will not stop bringing this up.  I don't even want to think about what will happen should the Packers beat the Steelers in the Super Bowl.

Mike Adamle Has Lost His Mind

When I was at the Illinois and Northwestern game at Wrigley Field earlier this season, I got a chance to meet Mike Adamle.  He was a nice guy, even if he wouldn't accept my challenge to compete against me in The Eliminator.

It was a decision I understood, seeing as how Adamle is getting older, and blogging keeps me in peak physical condition.  Still, as nice a guy as he was that day, these pictures Panger sent me last night are worrying me a bit.

The man is clearly losing his mind.  Though I have to give him credit for pulling off a Cutlerface while having Jay Cutler painted on his face, making for the first ever CutlerfacepaintCutlerface.

Ricky Gervais Is Cooler Than You Thought

Yes, that's right.  Throw Ricky Gervais in with the President as people smart enough to be White Sox fans.  Of course, this should have been obvious to anybody who saw the Golden Globes last week.  About the only thing Gervais didn't do was run down to Brad Pitt's table and just start beating the hell out of him.

What Should Brett Favre Do?

By now you've all seen the LeBron James Nike commercial in which he asks us all what he should have done, and it's a commercial ripe for the spoofing.  Thankfully, someone finally did one for Brett Favre.

A spoof that seems all too perfect, really.

Everything You Need To Know About A.J. Daulerio In A Single Quote

I've never really gotten into the whole sports blogs versus sports journalism debate.  I tend to just do my own thing here, and I don't write this blog to break stories.  This is just a vehicle to get news out there and express my opinion or a smart-assed joke.

I'm not breaking any molds.

As far as other blogs go, I try not to worry about what other sites may be doing.  Plenty of people enjoy reading The Big Lead.  I'm not one of them.  I used to love reading Deadspin, which is basically the parent of all sports blogs, and may have the largest readership of any.  Then Will Leitch left and A.J. Daulerio took over, and, well, I don't much read Deadspin anymore.

Sports Fans Like Getting Drunk At Games

How I Met Your Mother

I know, I'm shocked too.  I've long suspected that the people around me in the seats of Soldier Field, the United Center, Wrigley Field and The Cell may have been intoxicated, but I've never had the proof.

Until now, that is.

Thanks to some doctors at the University of Minnesota, we now have proof of people drinking alcohol and rooting on their teams.

Milton Bradley Arrested

It's been a while since I've had a chance to write about Milton Bradley here.  After his glorious year with the Cubs, he was traded to Seattle for Carlos Silva and we all just moved on.  While Bradley was able to avoid the confrontations in Seattle that he was known for here in Chicago and elsewhere, he did take a leave of absence from the team due to personal reasons.

Now it seems he may be taking a leave of absence from life outside of jail.  King5, an NBC affiliate in Seattle, is reporting that Bradley was arrested for a felony in Los Angeles County.

Let The Jinx Talk Begin

The newest issue of Sports Illustrated.  We're doomed I tells ya!  Doomed!!

Chris Bosh Doesn't Want You To Try Too Hard

I know that over the summer I wanted the Bulls to get Chris Bosh, but with the way that Carlos Boozer has worked out, I'm pretty happy with where the Bulls are at.  Plus, the more I hear and pay attention to Chris Bosh speak, the happier I am that the Bulls didn't get him.

He just doesn't seem like somebody who is all that interested in trying too hard, and is probably best suited to be a third wheel like he is in Miami.  As for what I mean by his interest in trying, check out this quote from Bosh following the Bulls win over the Heat on Saturday night.

Cubs Trade Gorzelanny To The Nats

After sending a boatload of prospects to Tampa Bay for Matt Garza, the Cubs were left with a surplus of starting pitchers, and shortage of players at the minor league level.  What do you do when this happens?  Why you send a mid-level starting pitcher to the Washington Nationals for three mid-level prospects.

Which is what the Cubs did to Tom Gorzelanny on Monday afternoon.

On To The Next One

I'll admit, going into the Bears game this afternoon, I was somewhat nervous.  I knew it was a game the Bears should win, and win easily, but I just didn't know.  After all, the Seahawks were a team that should have been beaten handily by the Saints last weekend, yet they were here in Chicago.

When it comes to playoff football, you can't take anything for granted.  Just ask the Patriots and Falcons.

Wilco+Kanye+Super Bowl Shuffle=Win

I can't remember who I saw post this video on Twitter earlier today, I think it may have been @worstfan, but to whoever it was, I say thanks.  That's a minute and a half of win right there.

Also, I'll be getting to the Bears win over the Seahawks later today.  I'd like to watch the Patriots and Jets first.

Aaron Rodgers Hates People With Cancer

Last week I got somewhat annoyed after reading Rick Reilly's column on Jay Cutler.  I said that I was growing awfully tired of hearing about what type of person Jay Cutler is, because not wanting attention doesn't make you a bad person.  It just makes you shy.

I also said that I don't care what players do off the field, particularly the ones on the teams I root for, because all that matters is how they perform on the field.  This applies to players on other teams as well.  Most of the time.

Then there are times like these.  In which the Bears are now preparing to play the Green Bay Packers and Aaron Rodgers in the NFC Championship.  It's at times like these that I feel the need to point out that AARON RODGERS HATES LADIES WITH CANCER.

Ryan Theriot Is The Enemy Now

There was a time when Ryan Theriot was beloved by Cubs fans.  He was the little white guy that could, and since he was white, tiny, and could hold a baseball bat without falling over that meant he was gritty.

People love gritty.

As time passed, other gritty players came along, and Theriot's flaws were more exposed.  Sure, he could line singles into right field, but he had a lot of trouble getting to any ball further than five feet from where he was standing.

Ron Santo Is Getting A Statue

So what do you do when you run an organization that hasn't done all that much during the offseason to quell an angry fan base, and you're in the middle of hosting all that rage in a Hilton downtown?  How do you react when the Cubs fans who did show up* stumble around the Hilton like the zombies in Walking Dead, screaming "Hendry!"

I tell you what you do, you find something to distract them.  To put another thought in their brains other than ripping you from limb to limb and feasting on your bones.

Bobby Jenks Doesn't Return Fire On Oney Guillen

It's been a few weeks since Oney Guillen took to his Twitter account and unleashed a tirade directed at former White Sox closer Bobby Jenks.  Since Oney's rant, which was nothing more than a personal attack, not much has been made of it.  At least, not as much as I expected there to be.

One man who has been quiet about it the entire time is the person whom the tirade was directed at.  Jenks finally addressed the situation with WEEI in Boston's Rob Bradford.  No, he did not air out any of Oney's laundry.

Corey Crawford's Staking His Claim

There isn't a lot that this years Blackhawks have in common with the version of the team that hoisted the Stanley Cup last season.  Instead of cruising through the regular season the Hawks are scratching and clawing just to hold on to a possible playoff spot this year.

Though, while some things change, others appear to be staying pretty much the same.

Here we are halfway through another Blackhawks season, and once again, the young backup goaltender appears ready to supplant the veteran number one.

Jay Cutler Isn't Gregarious, So What?

Ever since Jay Cutler came into the NFL, there's been a lot of talk about what kind of person he is.  You hear all the same things.  He's not likable.  He's distant.  He's disinterested.  He's arrogant.  Some players think he's a head case.  Some bloggers think he's that loser boyfriend that you just need to let go.

Me?  I don't really care what kind of person he is.  I'm not going to pretend that I'm concerned at all with the type of people who play for the teams I care about.  The only thing I truly care about is what those players do while they're on the field, the court or the rink.  That's it.  Sure, I prefer they don't kill anybody in their spare time, and I'll have some fun with their off the field discretions, but at the end of the day, it's about performance with me.

Runaway Train: Jay Cutler's Beard

Why did Jay Cutler shave his beard?  Was it too itchy?  I've had a beard before, and they can be pretty itchy.

Jay Cutler's Just Messing With Our Heads Now

There's definitely been a change in Jay Cutler since he first got to Chicago, at least in his relationship with the local media.  Last year, he was a bit more distant.  He didn't like answering questions, didn't make a lot of eye contact, and was just dismissive over all.  This year, he's become a bit more amicable.  Maybe it's because he isn't throwing interceptions every other throw, or just because the Bears are winning, but he seems to have finally relaxed a bit.

It seems he's relaxed so much that he's ready to just start fucking with everybody's heads now.  Playing that little game of "What can I say to get everyone to overreact?"  For instance, when asked about the balance of the Bears offense during his weekly press conference on Wednesday, Cutler dropped this little ditty on everyone in the room.

Brett Favre's Sister Nailed In Meth Bust

It took me a while to get into the show Breaking Bad.  I was always hearing about how great of a show it is, but never really had the time or motivation to watch it.  Then, after Panger wore me down slowly and surely, I began watching the first two seasons on DVD and I'm converted.  It's easily one of the best shows on television right now.

By watching the show I've learned a few things about the meth business.  First, I've learned that my AP Chemistry teacher in high school, Mr. Stelter, could have made a lot more money in his life if he'd chosen to do something other than keep my attention for an hour at a time.  Second, I've learned about the types of people usually found in the meth trade.  Crazy people like Brett Favre's sister apparently.

Reed Johnson Is Back On The North Side

The Cubs just got grittier.  And by that, I mean they signed a reserve white guy.

Yes, that's right, after a season away from Chicago, Reed Johnson is back in the fold for the Cubs.  The team announced that it had signed Johnson to a minor league contract on Wednesday.  Not exactly the type of deal that's going to put the Cubs over the top, but Johnson is a valuable player to have off of the bench and in utility situations.

Every Single One Of Michael Floyd's Touchdowns

I'm still a bit giddy about the news that Michael Floyd is coming back to Notre Dame next season, and since there really isn't much else going on in Chicago sports at the moment, I figure why not keep reveling in Floyd.

Thanks to Andy Baekstrom, I can now post this video of all 28 of the touchdowns that Michael Floyd has scored in his first three seasons.  I remember them all like they were no more than three years ago or less.

Michael Floyd Is Coming Back For Another Season

I already posted on this over at CBS, but I have to be professional over there.  That's not so much the way I need to handle things here.  So allow me to let out a loud HELL YES upon hearing the news that Michael Floyd has decided to come back to Notre Dame for yet another season in South Bend.

Here's his statement from the official Notre Dame release.

Behold The Ditka Tree

Yes, that's right.  With Ron Rivera being named the head coach of the Carolina Panthers on Tuesday, that means there are five current NFL head coaches who have played for Mike Ditka in their careers.  Which means that we will have five undefeated teams playing against one another in a Super Bowl Death Match For The Ages next February.

It's going to be epic.

Final Blogpoll Ballot

Well, so ends the college football season, and Auburn is your national champion.  But what about TCU?  They finished the season undefeated as well, you know, and they didn't exactly have a cupcake to face in the Rose Bowl.  Will Tom make the political move, and vote TCU number one overall, or will he go with Auburn?

OH MAN THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING YOU.

Find out where I went after the jump.

Derrick Rose Can Still Jump Really High

I didn't watch any of the Bulls 95-82 win over the Pistons on Monday night because I was rather busy with that whole national title game, but I was lucky enough to catch this clip on Twitter at halftime.

Derrick Rose sees you Blake Griffin.

Report: Michael Floyd Declaring For Draft On Tuesday

Well, so much for holding out hope that Michael Floyd would be returning to South Bend for his senior season.  Even though he's been told he'd likely be a third round pick -- and ESPN has him as the 9th best WR in the draft, and if there are eight better than Floyd, well, damn -- if he were to enter the draft, it seems as though Floyd's made up his mind.

According to John Walters, whom is a former colleague at FanHouse and has very close ties with Notre Dame, Floyd intends on declaring for the draft on Tuesday.

Join Me For A Live Chat On Facebook During Tonight's Title Game

Look at your inbox.  That thing is pathetic.  What's in there?  A couple of forwards from friends, maybe the latest deal from Groupon?  Aren't you cool.  The fact is, your inbox is a reflection of your life.  A full inbox means that you live a very fulfilling life.  People want to talk to you, you're important.  Your input is needed, your approval is craved.

That empty inbox?  If you died tomorrow, would anybody notice?  Probably not.

"Please, Tom.  Tell me how I can have an inbox chock full of emails and have meaning in this world!"

Okay, I will.  Join me tonight on CBSSports' Facebook page as I do a live chat along with tonight's BCS title game between Auburn and Oregon.  Trust me, your inbox will be so overloaded that you'll have enough messages to pass on to your children, and your children's children.

You will be important.  Trust me.  Just help me help you.

Ron Rivera's Finally Getting His Chance

A few years ago, Ron Rivera was running the Bears defense that led the team to the Super Bowl.  He thought that this would vault him to a head coaching gig somewhere else, and quite frankly, so did Lovie Smith.  After all, Smith's plan was to promote then assistant head coach Bob Babich, his boy, to the position that Rivera was sure to be leaving.

Only that head coaching job never came for Rivera.  Then, even though he'd helped put together one of the best defenses in the NFL, the Bears let Rivera go.  Chico went on to coach linebackers in San Diego, while Bob Babich did such a great job at running the defense that Lovie had to take the unit over before finally handing the reins over to Rod Marinelli.

Seattle It Is Then

I don't know if I'm just smart, or if I had simply convinced myself that it would happen because it's what I wanted*, but I knew that it would be the Seahawks coming to Chicago to take on the Bears next week.  It's just been that kind of season for the Bears.  One in which it seems like any break that can go the Bears way usually does.

That's why I knew that the Seahawks would beat the Saints on Saturday, and that Green Bay would knock off the Eagles on Sunday.  If there was a chance for the Bears to face the team that went 7-9 and made the playoffs, then it was guaranteed to happen.

Of course, you know that old saying.  Be careful what you wish for.

I'm Not Liking Richard Dent's Chances

In my mind, Richard Dent is a Hall of Famer.  He may not have a bust in Canton yet, but I hold out hope that he will one day.  But after seeing the list of finalists for this year's class, I'm not all that optimistic that 2011 is going to be the year for the Super Bowl XX MVP.

Just look at the names on this year's list of finalists.

White Sox Closing In On Will Ohman

This isn't exactly the type of news that will cause someone to wet their pants with excitement, but it seems that the White Sox saw the Cubs move earlier today and felt they needed to make a move to steal the headlines away from their crosstown rivals.

Or they just want to add another arm to their bullpen.  Only Kenny Williams really knows!  Okay, no, I know too.  He just wants to add another arm to his bullpen, and by all accounts, it looks like that arm is going to belong to Will Ohman.

The Deacon Played In The Wrong Decade

One of my favorite White Sox players growing up was Warren Newson.  Part of the reason for this was because he had an awesome nickname, as Hawk called him The Deacon.  The other reason was because I thought he was good.

Well, apparently he was better than any of us realized at the time.  For proof of this, head on over to South Side Sox to read the post on Newson written by Jim Margalus.

Cubs Trade For Matt Garza

So just to be clear, although the Cubs have been talking to the Rays for weeks about a possible trade for Matt Garza, it always sounded like Tampa's asking price was too high.  Then, a few days ago the word was that these talks were over because Tampa's asking price was too high.

So of course the Cubs sent five prospects to the Rays this morning for Matt Garza.