The Best Eulogy Ever?

There's been a lot of death this week.  All the people stuck on that crazy island in Lost died, Jack Bauer essentially died because he's now on the run from the United States and Russia and 24 is over, and my iPhone may be done for.

There were also the dreams of Montreal Canadiens fans that suffered a quick death.

Which is what this post is really about.  A brilliant thing that they've been doing over at Puck Daddy are writing eulogies for teams after they've been eliminated.  What's truly fantastic about them, though, is that they're not written by an impartial observer, or a fan of the team.

They're written by fans of that team's arch rival.  Like when the Red Wings were eliminated, Sam Fels over at Second City Hockey penned this magnificent piece of literature on the team.  But as good as that was, it doesn't come close to what Bloge Salming and Down Goes Brown -- two Toronto Maple Leafs blogs -- did to the Canadiens.

Their eulogy was epic, and will stick in your brain for the next few hours, and it's after the jump.

Stanley Cup Final Schedule

Not only do we know who the Blackhawks will be playing in the Stanley Cup Final now that the Philadelphia Flyers finished off the Montreal Canadiens, but we also know when they'll be playing.

Schedule after the jump.

Hit And Run: The Oswalt Landscape

It's hard to blame Roy Oswalt for asking the Houston Astros for a trade. As his longtime teammate Lance Berkman intimated a few weeks ago, it's something that probably should have happened a few years ago, but Drayton McLane's aversion to having to completely rebuild his organization after a World Series appearance has kept the slender six-footer from Mississippi in Houston.

And he has toiled there the last few seasons.

So Oswalt decided to take matters into his own hands. He's being respectful of his organization, one he clearly holds near and dear to his heart, so he's not demanding a trade. He's just asking for them to show him the same kind of respect he's shown the Astros during his entire career...

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I Hope Things Are Different This Time

Growing up in Chicago I wasn't a hockey fan.  There was no complex reason for this, it's just that my father wasn't a hockey fan, so I wasn't a hockey fan.  I was a White Sox fan, I was a Bears fan, and I was a Bulls fan.

That changed, for a time, in 1992.

Like most Chicagoans, I was swept up in the craze that was Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls.  Sure, I was only 11 years old, but I could tell you anything you needed to know about the Bulls during those years.  Of course, it wasn't until the Bulls were making their run at their second title that I began to notice the other team that played in Chicago Stadium.

Next Stop: Stanley Cup Final

Trevor Hoffman Moved to Setup Role

Trevor Hoffman already has more saves than any other closer in Major League history, but now he can stake his claim to having more saves than any other setup man in Major League history. That's because the Brewers announced on Sunday that the closer will have a new role with the team, setting up for new closer Carlos Villanueva.

Hoffman had a discussion with Ken Macha -- who was originally reluctant to change Hoffman's role -- and Brewers pitching coach Rick Peterson on Friday while on a brief hiatus from games to work on some mechanical issues. For his part, Hoffman seems to be taking the demotion well...

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Jose Lima Dies From Heart Attack at 37

Former major league pitcher Jose Lima died early Sunday morning of a heart attack in his home in Los Angeles. Lima was 37 years old.

News of Lima's death was first reported by ESPNDeportes.com.

Lima's wife, Dorca Astacio, said Lima began complaining during the night, and she originally thought he was having a nightmare. She soon called paramedics, but Lima was suffering a massive heart attack and passed away...

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What If Dustin Didn't Bust Out?

God I love these Stanley Cup Playoff commercials.

You Mess With The Bull You Get The Horn Through Your Lower Jaw And Out Of Your Mouth

Big Buff's Game-Winner

Only one win away from a trip to the Stanley Cup Finals.

Look What Washed Up On Madison Street

Getting LeBron Could Mean Getting Bosh As Well

I've been doing my best to avoid talking about LeBron James possibly coming to Chicago this summer because the NBA free agent period doesn't start for another forty days, and I don't much see the point in occupying myself with the "will he or won't he" drama for that long.

If he comes, awesome.  If he doesn't, well, at least I didn't spend the last month and a half of my life jerking off to the idea every waning (wanking?) minute of the day.

All that being said, I did read an interesting quote in a story on ESPN about Chris Bosh and his plans.  Bosh gave the Toronto Raptors a list of preferred teams should the team decide to pursue a sign-and-trade deal.

The Bulls are on the list along with the Heat, Knicks and Lakers.  No real shockers there.  But this quote about what Bosh would like to do did catch my eye.

Nats Owner Takes Fly Ball Off His Face During Batting Practice

Things are going pretty well for the Washington Nationals this season. They're currently at 21-20, within striking range of the division-leading Phillies, they have some kid named Stephen Strasburg tearing through the minor leagues, and the first pick in the amateur draft to boot. So it's no surprise that owner Mark Lerner would be in a good mood and feel like shagging some fly balls with his team during batting practice on Thursday evening.

Though next time he may want to bring a pair of sunglasses. That way he might be able to avoid taking one of those fly balls off of his face...

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Gordon Beckham Is Going To Headbang His Way Out Of This Slump

As we know, Gordon Beckham switched his intro music for Wednesday night's game.  According to the Chicago Tribune, Beckham's original plan was to just go without a song, as he felt he wasn't hitting well enough to deserve one.

And then Paul Konerko stepped in and told him he'd be choosing Bacon's song for him.  And whenever Paul Konerko gets involved in something related to music, Metallica isn't going to be very far behind.

Without further ado, here is Bacon's new song.

ESPN's Josh Elliott Explains Lost

With the help of the New England Patriots. Seriously, even though I don't watch Sportscenter anymore, if I did, Josh Elliott would now be my favorite anchor. If you don't watch Lost you're probably not going to understand a single thing that's going on here, but don't worry.

Even if you do watch Lost you're only going to understand two, maybe even three things, and then just have a whole bunch of other questions you want answers to.

Ozzie Guillen Tweet Of The Day - 5/20/10

Finally, after a long absence from Twitter -- at least from saying interesting things -- Ozzie hit the golf course today and hasn't stopped tweeting since.  Seriously, look at all those tweets today.

Still, this is the best one because things have gotten so bad for Gordon Beckham this season that he changed his at bat music last night, and as you'd expect, the city is in a tizzy.  Why?

BECAUSE THE GOD DAMN SONG IS AWESOME!

Brian Urlacher Doesn't Take Kindly To Gale Sayers' Criticism

Earlier this month Chicago Bears' great Gale Sayers had a speaking engagement in Nebraska, and has tends to happen when the Kansas Comet is out and about, somebody asked him what he thought about the Bears.

"Cutler hasn't done the job. Urlacher, I don't know how good he's going to be coming back. They need a couple wide receivers, a couple defensive backs.  If Lovie doesn't do it this year, I think he's gone.''

All of which is completely true.  Cutler hasn't done what the Bears were hoping he would do, he's just chucked interceptions.  Urlacher missed all of last season after hurting his wrist on opening night, and will turn 32 on Tuesday, so who knows what kind of player he's going to be for the Bears in 2010?

If the Bears don't make the playoffs, Lovie Smith and Jerry Angelo are gone.

It's all true, but since Gale's a former Bear, Brian Urlacher doesn't think he should be saying a damned thing.

John Danks Needs A Hug

The White Sox had a closed door meeting last night before taking on the Angels in which Kenny Williams filled his team in on everything that's been going on, and what they've been hearing.  He let them know that he hasn't discussed trading any of them -- though the Rangers would disagree -- that no coaches are in danger of being fired, and that they need to relax more and remember it's just a game they're playing.

Stop being so darn hard on yourselves!

It's too bad he didn't tell them anything about giving poor John Danks some support.

There's no doubt that Danks has been the best pitcher the White Sox have had this season, but you couldn't tell by looking at his record, and last night's performance was a perfect microcosm of his season.  Danks had pitched 7.2 innings of one hit baseball before giving up two singles in the 8th inning, but even before he gave up those two singles, he was still losing the game 2-1.

Bob Howry Is Here To Save The Season

Great news, Cubs fans!  It appears the problems in the bullpen are no more.  Now that Carlos Zambrano will be making his way back to the starting rotation, the Cubs once again found themselves with another hole in the bullpen.

A hole they've now filled with Bob Howry, according to CSNChicago.com, and he's expected to join the team this weekend in Texas.

It's Howry's second stint with the Cubs, and though he was pretty decent at times in his first venture, things have gone south for the veteran lately.  The Diamondbacks released him earlier this week after he posted a 10.67 ERA in 14 appearances out of their bullpen.  In his 14.1 innings of work, Howry allowed 18 hits and 17 runs.

What's even better is that he'd given up as many home runs as he had strikeouts, six.

Judging by those numbers, he should fit in pretty well here.

Hanley Ramirez Gets a Hall of Fame Lecture, Now Ready to Apologize

It seems that the ongoing saga between Hanley Ramirez and his manager and Florida Marlins teammates is about to come to an end, as the shortstop is in the starting lineup for his team's game in St. Louis on Wednesday night. Apparently all it took was a stern talking to from a couple of Hall of Famers to help Ramirez see the error of his ways.

Ramirez had a closed door meeting with Andre Dawson and Tony Perez on Tuesday night, in which both Hall of Famers did their best to try to explain to the young shortstop what he did wrong in response to his benching by Fredi Gonzalez due to his perceived lack of effort chasing down a ball on Monday night...

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Are You Kidding Me, Cleveland?

Maybe you've seen this video before, but I just became aware of it like two minutes ago.  Apparently the people of Cleveland are so desperate to keep LeBron James from leaving that they decided to shoot this video and sing a horrible song asking him to stay.





Wow, seriously Cleveland?  The best you can do is some chick that was on the Real World?  I think if LeBron actually sees this video it will kill any chance of him returning to Cleveland next year.  I don't even want to fly over the place after seeing it.

Josh Beckett Placed On Disabled List

In a move that shouldn't catch you completely off guard, the Boston Red Sox placed pitcher Josh Beckett on the disabled list on Wednesday afternoon. The Red Sox gave Beckett eleven days off before he finally faced the Yankees on Tuesday night in New York, and the results weren't exactly what they were hoping to see.

Beckett lasted only four and two thirds innings against the Bombers before having to leave the game with stiffness in his back. Before leaving he gave up five runs -- though only three were earned -- while striking out six and walking three. Not a solid outing, but Beckett's ERA actually did drop during the course of the evening, as it's now down to 7.29...

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Corey Wootton Signs A Four Year Deal

The Bears don't seem to be having any trouble getting their draft picks to put pen to paper and sign their first professional contracts this spring.  The team has said that their goal is to have all five of their draft picks signed by May 28, and they've been able to lock up three of the five already.

After signing Josh Moore and J'Marcus Webb to contracts over the last few days, Brad Biggs tweets that former Northwestern defensive end Corey Wootton has agreed to a four-year deal with the team.  Financial terms of the contract aren't known at this time.

That leaves Major Wright and Dan LeFevour as the only two picks who are yet to agree to a deal.  Seeing as how neither were early picks I'm going to say the odds that either of them hold out are between slim and none, and that both will likely have deals before the week is over.

In other, non-draft pick, news the Bears also signed Danieal Manning to a one-year $1.176 million contract for 2010 on Wednesday.

Who Are The Teams Interested In Pierzynski? - UPDATE

While we already know that the Texas Rangers and White Sox have had preliminary discussions about a A.J. Pierzynski over the last two weeks, according to a report from ESPN Chicago's Bruce Levine on Tuesday afternoon, they aren't the only team who has expressed interest in the White Sox backstop.

According to Levine, the Rangers are one of three teams who have contacted the Sox to ask about Pierzynski.

If the Sox are going to move Pierzynski, which would be a solid indication that they've given up on 2010 should such a deal happen, they're going to have to do it before June 14.  That's when A.J.'s ten-and-five rights would kick in, and he'd have the right to block any trade.

What I'm wondering, though, is who are the other two teams that have asked about him?

Dave Bolland's All Over The Ice And Inside Joe Thornton's Head

While most of the credit for the Blackhawks 2-0 lead is going to Antti Niemi, Jonathan "Captain Conn Smythe" Toews and Dustin "There's a Regular Season?" Byfuglien -- and deservedly so -- I'm personally of the opinion that the most important player for the Blackhawks in this series so far is somebody else.

He missed most of the season because of a back injury, and after returning to the ice, he didn't look like the same player he had been last season.  But through the first two games of the Western Conference Final it looks as though Dave Bolland is finding his groove once again.

It's not showing up in the stat sheet, as after being on the ice for 39 minutes through the two games in San Jose, Bolland only has three shots, no points and a +1 rating.  It's one of those cases in which a box score tells you absolutely nothing about what's really going on, because if you saw that line and none of the games, you'd think that Bolland was a non-factor in this series.

But why don't you go ask Joe Thornton how much of a non-factor Bolland has been.

Carlos Zambrano Is a Starter Again

On Monday Carlos Zambrano found out that he'd no longer by an $18 million a year setup man, and that instead he was bound for the vast wasteland that is middle relief in Major League Baseball. Well, a day later, Zambrano won't have to be a middle reliever at all.

It seems you can go home again, because Zambrano is going back to the Cubs starting rotation...

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Oliver Perez Moved to Mets Bullpen

After giving up seven runs in three and a third innings against the Florida Marlins on Friday night, Oliver Perez's manager Jerry Manuel hinted that he might be sending his starter to the bullpen. On Saturday afternoon, Manuel made it official.

The manager said that Perez would no longer be in the Mets' starting rotation, but instead pitching out of the bullpen, though Manuel did not say who would replace Perez in the rotation. The likely candidates are Hisanori Takahashi, or if the Mets feel like bringing somebody up from Buffalo, they may go with Pat Misch or R.A. Dickey...

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Rays Designate Pat Burrell For Assignment, Call Up Hank Blalock

The Pat the Bat Era in Tampa has come to an end, as the Rays announced on Saturday that they'd designated Pat Burrell for assignment and called up Hank Blalock from Triple-A Durham. Burrell, who the Rays signed as a free agent with a two-year $16 million deal after he helped beat them in the 2008 World Series while with the Phillies, never could quite live up to his nickname while with the Rays.

He was hitting .202 with two homers and 12 runs driven in for Tampa Bay this season, and hit only .218 with 16 home runs and 77 RBI during his year and two months with the team...

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Bengie Molina Upset With ESPN

San Francisco Giants catcher Bengie Molina is not fast. In fact, he's very slow. Very very slow. You see that picture to the right? Well, that's not even a picture. That's a video of Molina running full speed.

He's that slow.

Okay, so it's a picture, but that's beside the point. On ESPN over the weekend they showed a highlight from the Giants game against the Marlins. From Molina's point of view it wasn't a highlight as much as a lowlight, and the way it was presented was a further insult. He even took to his blog to write about it...

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In Case You Needed Another Reason For Why The Blackhawks Need To Finish The Canucks Tonight...

There's this.



Kill them.  Kill them dead.

Um, "thanks" to Puck Daddy for posting the video.

Josh Beckett's Next Start Pushed Back to Friday

Neither the Boston Red Sox or Josh Beckett have been able to figure out exactly what the pitcher's problem is this season, but on Monday they made the decision to give themselves an extra 48 hours to find out. Beckett, who was originally scheduled to pitch again on Wednesday against the division rival Blue Jays, has had his next start pushed back to Friday in Detroit.

The reasoning behind the decision has nothing to do with any kind of injury, but, according to manager Terry Francona, will give Beckett another chance to throw a side session in the bullpen under the tutelage of pitching coach John Farrell and Jason Varitek. Varitek has said in recent days that he has some ideas on how to fix the Red Sox ace...

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Report: Big Ten Has Asked Four Schools To Join Conference, Including Notre Dame

Take this for what it's worth, but according to a report from radio station 810 WHB in Kansas City, the Big Ten has already informally asked four different schools if they would like to join the Big Ten. Those schools include both Missouri and Nebraska from the Big 12, the Big East's Rutgers, and some school in northern Indiana that goes by the moniker Notre Dame.

Hit And Run: Braden Really Needs to Let Beef Go Now

As is the case with many people who excel in their field, Alex Rodriguez is a polarizing figure. There are people who love him, and there are people who hate him, but there aren't many in between. Of course, when it comes to A-Rod, most of the opinions you hear about him come from the negative side.

There have been plenty of examples throughout the game of baseball. Curt Schilling, Dustin Pedroia, Ozzie Guillen, and even Alex's former manager Joe Torre have let their distaste for Rodriguez be known publicly throughout the years, just to name a few. All are very recognizable names in the sport, but the latest person to take aim at A-Rod was a pitcher that wasn't very well known outside of Northern California before he took on Rodriguez...

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It's Too Early To Replace Bobby Jenks

Coming into this season I had a feeling that at some point there was going to be a controversy about whom the White Sox closer should be.  Hell, I think most people thought about it when the White Sox signed J.J. Putz over the winter.  Putz, along with Matt Thornton, give the White Sox options other than Bobby Jenks.

That being said, I thought Jenks would have to blow more than one save before his job was put in doubt.

Bobby blew his first save of the season on Sunday, giving up four runs in the top of the ninth to lose to the Blue Jays 9-7.  The big blow was a three-run homer from Fred Lewis.  It was a bad day for sure, and one of a few bad days that Jenks has had this season, but it was the first time Jenks had blown a save for his team.

Though that didn't stop Ozzie Guillen from openly questioning whether Jenks would continue to be his closer.

MLB And Bud Selig Set to Take Control of the Texas Rangers

It doesn't seem as if the battle between Texas Rangers owner Tom Hicks and the creditors he owes $525 million to is going to be coming to an end any time soon, and with that being the case, it looks like MLB is going to take more of a hands-on approach with the sale of the Texas Rangers.

It's being reported by Bizofbaseball.com that if Hicks and his creditors can't come to an agreement on selling the Rangers to a group led by Chuck Greenberg and Nolan Ryan this week, Bud Selig will invoke the "best interest of baseball" clause in the game's constitution and seize control of the Rangers franchise...

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Sami Salo's Children's Lives Flash Before His Eyes

I don't care how much I hate the Vancouver Canucks, what happened to Sami Salo last night is not something I'd wish on any man.  Well, maybe Alex Burrows.

The good news for Salo is, that after initial reports that he'd been taken to the hospital because of a ruptured testicle -- god it hurts just to type that --  the Vancouver Province's Jason Botchford reported late on Sunday night that he'd confirmed it wasn't ruptured.

He was only taken to the hospital in case it had been.

Either way, that can't feel good. 

There's no word on whether or not Salo will play in game six.  I can tell you I wouldn't.

Canucks Implosion Shouldn't Rest Solely On The Players

It's been evident that the Vancouver Canucks have self-destructed in the last two games against the Blackhawks.  There's no need to go into what's happened, because if you've watched either of the games, you know.

If you haven't watched, well then you're not reading this because you don't care.

There have been the dumb penalties by Shane O'Brien, and Alex Burrows.  Two players whose collective IQs don't equal the numbers on their sweaters.  Things are so bad that even the Sedin brothers are starting to lose their minds.

Daniel Sedin is worried about going after Dave Bolland, while brother Henrik -- the NHL's leading scorer -- is giving up on pucks just for the chance to complete a check.  It's bizarro world.

Then there's Roberto Luongo who has given up 11 goals in those two games and right now would probably give up a 10 foot rebound on a shot from Antti Niemi from 200 feet away.

In other words, there's plenty of blame to go around for the Canucks in this series, though their head coach Alain Vigneault didn't seem to be in the mood to share it following game 4 on Friday night.

Just For Laughs: The Wee-Knee

While tweeting during last night's Blackhawks game, one of my followers @brandone reminded me of an epic Pat Foley rant on YouTube (Foley went on a mini-rant discussing the trade between the Hawks and Canucks in 1999 that helped Vancouver land both Sedin twins and got the Hawks a couple draft picks they wasted, and Brian McCabe who they eventually traded for Alexander Karpovtsev) that I hadn't seen in a while.  So I went over to watch it following the game, and also came across this video which I never saw.

I've been laughing ever since.

Dallas Braden Is Still Talking About Alex Rodriguez

If you thought the little feud between Oakland Athletics pitcher Dallas Braden and New York Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez was over, you're wrong.

Braden took umbrage with Rodriguez crossing over the pitcher's mound during a game on April 22. The two exchanged words on the field, and after the game Braden kept going at A-Rod, saying that he should "take a note from his captain over there."

Well, upon hearing of Braden's comments on the situation, Rodriguez said he wasn't aware of any unwritten rules about crossing the pitcher's mound, and that he was surprised somebody with so few career victories under his belt would challenge him. So naturally when CSNBayArea's Mychael Urban asked Braden about the situation again on Wednesday, Braden and his low win total kept on talking.

Even intimating that the only way to settle this feud would not be with a pitch up and in, but with a fist directly to his face...

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Andy MacPhail Isn't Happy With the Orioles Offense

It seems that Baltimore Orioles president of baseball operations Andy MacPhail has stood all he can stand and he can't stand no more. With the Orioles at 7-21 on the season, and having plated only 92 runs so far on the season, MacPhail has decided it's time to make some changes to the Orioles lineup.

And he doesn't just mean juggling the team's lineup either. According to MacPhail, if a few of the team's players don't start producing then they're going to be going on a field trip to the Orioles Triple-A affiliate in Norfolk...

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John Calipari Isn't Coming To The Bulls, Nor Should You Want Him Too

Until the Bulls hire a coach to replace the fine head of hair that was Vinny Del Negro, we're all going to be hearing a lot of rumors about the new coach, a lot of which will make you laugh.  For me, the first such rumor was that Phil Jackson would be leaving Los Angeles to come back to where he won the first six of his ten championship rings.

Which is insane.

The only reason The Zenmaster would leave the Lakers is money, or that he just wants to retire.  Now, if the Lakers aren't going to give him the amount of money he wants, you really think the Bulls will?

The same Bulls organization that is still paying Vinny and Scott Skiles?  What are you, drunk?

Doug Melvin Would Like You to Leave Ken Macha Alone

The Milwaukee Brewers came into the 2010 season expecting to contend for the NL Central title, yet only a month into the season they find themselves six and half games (going into Wednesday night's action) behind the Cardinals with an 11-15 record. As typically happens in these situations, there are plenty of people around Milwaukee calling for the head of manager Ken Macha.

Well the man who actually gets to make the decision on Macha, Brewers general manager Doug Melvin, doesn't feel the same way. Talking to reporters on Tuesday night, Melvin said that the way Macha is being treated is "unfair" and that it's not his fault the team is struggling...

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Kelvim Escobar's Season Is Over

Though can a season that never actually started have an end?

Kelvim Escobar has only appeared in one game since he won 18 games for the Los Angeles Angels in 2007, with that sole appearance coming in one start last year, and it's now become apparent that he won't be pitching in 2010 either.

The New York Mets had signed Escobar over the winter hoping he could help out the back end of their bullpen, but shoulder weakness kept him from ever toeing the rubber in a Mets jersey this year.

Now it seems he never will...

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OMG IT'S JUSTIN BIEBER!!1!

Justin Bieber, who is apparently some kind of teen pop sensation -- though how a kid who looks 7 can be a teen pop sensation baffles me -- threw out the first pitch at the White Sox game on Monday night.

Why should you care?

You shouldn't.

I'm only posting this in hopes of getting some cheap hits from 13-year old girls Googling Justin Bieber.  In fact, I plan on tagging this post with "Justin Bieber Naked."  What?  Don't look at me that way.

I'm a whore, and I'm perfectly all right with that.

Vinny Del Negro Being Fired Tomorrow

The Bulls finished up their season last week, and it seems like after nearly five months of speculation about it, they'll finally go about the business of firing Vinny Del Negro on Tuesday afternoon.  The team has called a press conference for noon tomorrow in which it's expected they'll announce that Del Negro has been relieved of his duties.

Which comes as a surprise to nobody who has paid any attention to the Bulls.  The man has been under constant harrassment from the front office, and even some physical harassment, for a long time now.  Whether it be how many minutes Joakim Noah was allowed to play following his bout with plantar fasciitis, or what kind of hair gel he's using.

He hasn't been allowed to do anything without Gar Foreman or John Paxson's permission.

As for the job Del Negro did in his two seasons as the Bulls head coach, well, he's gotten the team to the playoffs in both seasons, and helped with the development of Derrick Rose, Joakim Noah and Taj Gibson.

Truth be told, the man doesn't really deserve to be fired.  At the same time, though, he doesn't deserve to keep on coaching either.  That's really the best way I can think to describe Del Negro's abilities as a coach.

Sure, his defenders will point out the playoff berths and the development of the Bulls two stars in Rose and Noah, but what in the hell makes them think any other coach wouldn't have done the same thing?

Was it Del Negro, or are Noah and Rose just two good players who are going to get better whether it's Del Negro or my mother coaching them?

The most important thing for the Bulls this summer is not to find some marquee head coach, though somebody with experience would be nice, but to sign one of the top free agents.  I want Chris Bosh.  I hate Dwyane Wade, but if the Bulls somehow got him, I'd likely get over it.

I would love LeBron, but I'd also love Megan Fox to crawl into my bed tonight.  The odds of either happening aren't good.

I don't want Joe Johnson.  Sorry, but he's just a taller Ben Gordon, which is nice to have, but won't make that large of a difference.

They have to get somebody, though.

With the Celtics getting older, having an ever-improving Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah together with a legit star player would instantly vault the Bulls into an Eastern Conference threat.

Hit And Run: Let's Hand Out Awards!

We've entered the month of May, so this week in Hit and Run, I'd like to take a look back at the first month of the season and hand out some awards. Yes, it's early, but let's roll out something easy and fun.

So fellas put on your suit and tie, ladies pull that dress you've been dying to find a reason to wear out of the closet, and let's start handing out some fictional awards....

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Alex Gordon Sent to Triple-A

Ever since Alex Gordon debuted with the Kansas City Royals he was supposed to be the greatest thing to hit the City of Fountains since barbeque, but unfortunately, things haven't quite worked out as they were supposed to. After hitting 31 homers and driving in 119 runs in his first two seasons, Gordon has been beset by injuries over the last two years.

After playing in only 49 games last season, the 2010 campaign was going to be an important year for the former second overall pick, but Gordon missed the first ten games of 2010 while waiting for a broken thumb to heal. Since returning on April 17, Gordon has hit .194 (6-for-31). He's also been supplanted at third base by Alberto Callaspo, so in an effort to get him regular at bats, the Royals have sent Gordon down to Omaha and recalled Mike Aviles...

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