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Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Spread Em: Your Handy Foul Balls Super Bowl XLIII Betting Guide
Since all the writing I'm going to be doing later tonight and on Saturday will be for NBC, I figured I would get my Super Bowl XLIII preview out of the way now. It's not actually a preview, per se. It's more of a here's what I've placed bets on for Sunday's festivities.I know that the more popular theory about this weekend's game is that the Cardinals are going to either win or cover, but I get a different feeling entirely. You see, the truth is that if Kurt Warner wins another Super Bowl it's basically going to be impossible to keep him out of the Hall of Fame, and I don't care how many writers this week have told you that Warner deserves to be in the Hall of Fame because they have print space to fill, he doesn't deserve to be in the Hall of Fame.
His numbers are pretty stellar, this much is true, but Hall of Famers don't just disappear for five years in the middle of their career and from 2002-2006 that's exactly what Warner did. Much like our good friend Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, who will be sharing his thoughts with you momentarily, I think the Steelers win this one pretty easily.
Sure, Arizona will stick around for a while in the first half, but in the second half I think Pittsburgh goes up by two scores and since Arizona will have absolutely no running game against the Steelers, that will force Warner to drop back every play. Going against the Steelers defense when they know you're passing every play is not a fun position to be in, even if you have Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald to throw to.
Anyway, on to Carl's betting tips for you this Sunday.
Okay, since you can't actually bet on any of those things -- though I wish you could because I'd totally take the over on Brett Favre mentions -- here are the best I have placed for Sunday's game. All bets were placed at BetUS.
For the game itself I took Pittsburgh -6.5. Like I said, I think the Steelers win this one pretty easily. On to the props.
Kurt Warner's Total Passing Yards: 221-230 at +1000 - Again, like I said, I don't see Kurt having that great of a day, but the fact the Cardinals will have no choice but to throw means he should finish somewhere between 200-250 yards passing, so I went for the middle.
Ben Roethlisberger's Total Passing Yards: 176-190 at +1200 - The Cardinals defense has been very good so far in the playoffs, but I think the Steelers run game finally solves them this weekend. Which means that Ben won't be dropping back as much, plus I think the Steelers will have a lead in the second half and run more. Plus, Ben has finished between 176-190 yards passing six times this year including the playoffs. It's not exactly a stretch, and at +1200, seems too good to pass up.
Player to Score First TD of Game: Gary Russell +1600 - When the Steelers were in the Super Bowl three years ago I placed a $10 bet down on Roethlisberger to score the game's first tuddy at 30/1 odds. He did. It was awesome. Two years ago I put another $10 on Devin Hester to return the opening kickoff for a touchdown at 40/1 -- which was a ridiculous payout considering it was Devin Hester. We all know what he did. Last year? Last year I didn't bet. So this year I look to keep the streak alive with Pittsburgh's new goalline specialist.
Super Bowl MVP: Nate Washington +4000 - Okay, now I mostly made this pick based on the payout. I mean, I laid $5 on it and if I'm right I get $200 in return, so it's not exactly much of a risk. Plus there's the fact that Washington is a free agent after this season and he wouldn't be the first role player to have a huge game in the Super Bowl, win the MVP, and then sign a huge contract in the offseason because of it before dropping off the face of the Earth. And when it happens, it'll probably be with the Bears!
So yeah, that's what I've got. If you've seen anything you like feel free to share in the comments.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Bartolo Colon Is Off To a Great Start
When the Chicago White Sox jettisoned Javier Vazquez off to the Atlanta Braves for prospects Tyler Flowers and Brent Lillibridge, Kenny Williams may have found his catcher of the future, but it left a bit of a hole in the team's starting rotation. Sure, there were questions about Vazquez's ability in big games but those 15 wins and 200+ innings every year aren't easy to replace....Continue reading at FanHouse
Larry Bowa Doesn't Believe in the Dodgers Offense Sans Manny
The impact that Manny Ramirez had on the Dodgers as a team last season was pretty obvious. He took an offense that wasn't exactly intimidating to opposing pitchers and made it pretty darn scary. Where as a young Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier could do some damage on their own, if you put Manny between them in the lineup they become legitimate threats...Continue reading at FanHouse
Repot: Feds Have a Positive Urine Test From Barry Bonds
You may remember back in 2001 when Barry Bonds was in the midst of his chase of the single-season home run record, there was a lot of talk about his possible steroid use. If you don't recall that, how was your trip to Antarctica, anyway? There was also a quote from Bonds at the time in which he said that baseball could test him every day and he'd never test positive. Of course, considering that we sit here eight years later and there still isn't a reliable test for HGH, that doesn't exactly say much....Continue reading at FanHouse
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Cubs Add Aaron Heilman to Bullpen
You know, getting traded once can probably be quite the ordeal for a baseball player. If you've been in a city for a while, you've more than likely bought yourself a home, and maybe you're married with kids so packing up all your stuff and moving across the country can't be easy. Both Aaron Heilman and Garrett Olson have gone through this type of thing recently, as Heilman was sent from New York to Seattle in the J.J. Putz deal, and Olson left Baltimore for Chicago in a trade for Felix Pie only ten days ago...Continue reading at FanHouse
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Boras Says Manny Has Several Suitors
The closer we get to spring training the more likely it is that Manny Ramirez is going to sign with the Los Angeles Dodgers. It just makes sense. The Dodgers want him to stay in Los Angeles after the spark he brought to the team after coming over last summer, and they're the only team whose made a deal close to what Manny and Scott Boras think Ramirez deserves...Continue reading at FanHouse
Monday, January 26, 2009
Radomski Claims To Have Taken Urine Tests For Dwight Gooden
Tomorrow Kirk Radomski's book "Bases Loaded" will hit bookshelves all across the country, and inside it will spill all the details of every baseball player he has ever supplied steroids to during his time spent as the Mets towel boy from 1986-95. Radomski, of course, was the main source of information in the Mitchell Report, and now he figures it's his turn to make some money off of all this to help pay off some of those lawyer fees...Continue reading at FanHouse
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Mark Teahen to Try Second Base
Ah the annual rites of spring. The snow starts melting, trees start finding themselves populated by leaves and singing birds, and Mark Teahen gets ready for a position change. I tell you, you can set your watch to it. In 2007 Teahen moved from third base to right field to make room for Alex Gordon before moving from right field to left field last season to accomodate Jose Guillen. Of course, now that the Royals have Coco Crisp in centerfield that probably means David DeJesus is going to start seeing more time in left field...Continue reading at FanHouse
Dustin Pedroia's Brother Arrested on Child Molestation Charges
The 2008 season was a great one for Dustin Pedroia. The 5'9 second baseman became only the eighth player in American League history to win the MVP, a Gold Glove, and a Silver Slugger award in the same season, while also being the first second baseman to win the MVP since Nellie Fox in 1959. The only thing that could have made the year better would have been a second consecutive World Series title, but alas the Sawx fell short in the ALCS against the Rays, though it was no fault of Dustin's...Continue reading at FanHouse
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Jim Leyland Sings The Hits
The 2009 season is going to be a make or break year for Tigers manager Jim Leyland. If the Tigers can bounce back from a dreadful 2008 season, odds are The Black Lung will stick around unless he wants to leave. If the Tigers finish towards the bottom of the AL Central again, then the choice will likely be made for him. So Jimmy is probably feeling some pressure this year, and although he has his cigarettes to help deal with the stress, his players don't have the same liberty.
And what better way is there to soothe the souls of young men then by belting out an R&B hit from the 70s? That's exactly what Leyland did on the Tigers recent trip to the Motown Museum, singing the Stylistics' "Betcha By Golly Wow" and thankfully somebody at the Detroit Free Press got the whole thing on video...
See the video at FanHouse
And what better way is there to soothe the souls of young men then by belting out an R&B hit from the 70s? That's exactly what Leyland did on the Tigers recent trip to the Motown Museum, singing the Stylistics' "Betcha By Golly Wow" and thankfully somebody at the Detroit Free Press got the whole thing on video...
See the video at FanHouse
Barack Obama's Fanhood Increases Merchandise Sales
I don't know if you've heard by now, but our new Commander-In-Chief Barack Obama is a big fan of the Chicago White Sox. Seriously, he is. Even if he doesn't talk about it all that much or ask Illinois soldiers in Afghanistan via a live feed at one of his Inaugural Balls -- there's a joke in there somewhere, just can't figure it out -- whether they're Sox of Cubs fans, it's still true...Continue reading at FanHouse
Friday, January 23, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Haha, The French Suck At Life
Just got an email from Panger with the subject line of "Best Headline Ever" and let's be honest, that's a pretty strong statement. There have been a lot of headlines throughout history of the printed word, and God knows that with the blog explosion in recent years, there are more hilarious headlines being written every day, so before I clicked the link inside the email I made sure I cleared my mind of any prejudice.
I just care THAT MUCH.
Then when I hadfinished masturbating fully prepared myself to judge fairly, I followed the link and guess what? Panger wasn't lying. I was greeted with the following headline.
Yes, you read that right. Now of course after reading that headline there's no way in hell you can't read the article, and here's what I learned.
I just care THAT MUCH.
Then when I had
Yes, you read that right. Now of course after reading that headline there's no way in hell you can't read the article, and here's what I learned.
Former French president Jacques Chirac was rushed to hospital after being mauled by his own 'clinically depressed' pet dog.
The 76-year-old statesman was savaged by his white Maltese dog - which suffers from frenzied fits and is being treated with anti-depressants.
The animal, named Sumo, had become increasingly violent over the past years and was prone to making 'vicious, unprovoked attacks', Chirac's wife Bernadette said.
Now here is a picture of Chirac with the depressed and ultra-violent dog, Sumo.
How in the hell could that dog "maul" a man Chirac's size bad enough that he had to be sent to the hospital? There's something that somebody isn't telling us here.
Mrs Chirac said: 'The dog went for him for no apparent reason.
'We were already aware the animal was unpredictable and is actually being treated with pills for depression.
'My husband was bitten quite badly, but he is certain to make a full recovery over the coming weeks.'
The former French First Lady did not reveal where on his body Chirac was bitten.
Okay, now it makes sense. Seems Jacques -- by the way, is there anybody in France who isn't named Jacques? Can't they have an original name like Tom? -- got bit in his Kibbles and Bits. Now, I have no proof of this being the case, but that dog couldn't do any damage to you if you handed him a gun unless you put the ol' Skippy spread on your Pepe' Le Pew, and Chirac is French so we already know he's a dirty pervert who does nothing but drink wine and play weird sex games all day.
I mean, what the fuck do you think made the dog so depressed? Let's just hope the poor little fella doesn't get salmonella on top of everything else.
Source: Prince Fielder Close to Signing New Contract With Brewers
For a while it seemed that the Brewers and Prince Fielder were going to be heading to arbitration to hammer out a deal for Fielder in 2009. Fielder wanted $8 million, the Brewers were willing to go to $6 million, and in between the two Scott Boras sat like Mr. Burns tapping his fingers together while plotting evil schemes to block out the sun in Milwaukee until Prince got his money...Continue reading at FanHouse
John Mozeliak Responds to Internet Trolls
One of the things I've always hated about the online chats at sites like ESPN is the filtering of questions asked to the "talent" being featured in those chats. I don't want to see Joe Morgan answering a question about how he feels about CC Sabathia's deal with the Yankees, I want to see him answer a question like: "How in the hell do you keep your job considering that you don't know about anything not concerning yourself or the Big Red Machine?"...Continue reading at FanHouse
John Paxson Is Captain Not-So-Obvious
When speaking to reporters at the Berto Center yesterday to give his assessment of the Bulls now that they've played over half their games this season, John Paxson finally admitted to something that anybody who has watched the team play this season has known for a while already."We're not very good right now."
Really, John? What was your first clue? The 18-25 record you currently have? The fact that the team is giving up an average of 102.3 points a game? Losing home games to both the Minnesota Timberwolves (7-14 on the road) and the Oklahoma City Thunder (3-17 on the road) within a week of each other? What was it?
To be fair to Paxson, at least he's taking responsibility for putting this team together, but at the same time he's still not being completely honest. K.C. Johnson compiled a list of some of Pax's quotes from yesterday, and while they're pretty blunt, John still isn't telling the whole story. So let's take a look at what Paxson said, and then I'll tell you what he means.
On the Bulls' play: "I'm obviously not happy. I don't think my expectations were such going into the season thinking we were going to be a top-level team. But what I want to see is the team play together. And right now, through 40-plus games, we're not doing that. And that concerns me."What he means: We suck. Really bad, and that worries me because I put this shitbox of a team together and I'm probably going to lose my job because of it.
On the coaching staff: "The only person I'll evaluate right now is myself, and I obviously haven't done the job of putting the type of team I want on the floor in terms of competitiveness and effort. That falls on me."What he means: Listen, I really wanted D'Antoni, but Jerry Reinsdorf didn't like him so he went to New York instead. Then when Doug Collins pussed out I was stuck trying to find somebody at the last minute and I chose Vinny Del Negro. He's just as bad of a coach as I am a general manager, and I'm totally going to fire his ass after the season.
On the possibility of a trade: "What's inhibiting a lot of deals is the luxury tax because you have a ton of teams right up against it. To do a deal, the dollars have to work within a very small amount of money. Paying the tax is a real issue, especially with some of the things going on in the world business-wise. It's just a smart move to be respectful of what that tax means.
"We're looking. And players can't be looking over their shoulder all the time either. They have to accept that they have to play and compete and perform. My job is to field that team. Right now, we're not the type of team that I want."What he means: Nobody wants to take on Larry Hughes' contract without giving me bad players with big contracts right back. So, yeah, I can make a trade if I want to but we're still going to suck.
On the porous defense: "It's two things. The level of personal commitment to that side has to be there. And paying attention to whatever the scheme is you're trying to run. I know [coach Vinny Del Negro] and his staff have tried to simplify a lot of things we're doing defensively to try to get consistent at something. Even though we haven't always been consistent moving the ball offensively, I still think we can score enough. But we're giving up far too many points and far too many easy points. The defensive end has to get better, or we're going to continue like [this]."What he means: Vinny has no fucking idea what defense is, let alone how to coach it.
On whether the Bulls purposely will clear salary-cap space to wait for the stellar 2010 free-agent class: "I want to try to make our team better today — 2010 is a long way off. There are always avenues you can go down to get off contracts. Teams like a lot of our pieces because they fit alongside an established star. I'm not saying they're offering a lot in return. And that's what we're trying to find, another established player to put alongside [Derrick] Rose."What he means: Well, yeah, that would probably be the smart thing to do as far as the future of the Bulls organization is concerned, but I won't be here if I start planning for 2010 and my job is more important to me than this team's future. So until then I'm just going to keep on adding crap to the roster. FTW!
On whether Rose is regressing: "I wouldn't say that. I'm not sure what's expected. He's going to have games where he doesn't play as well as he would like. I haven't seen one rookie who doesn't have some ups and downs. He's playing very well."What he means: Derrick isn't regressing at all. He's already the best player on the team, but he is a rookie so there will be highs and lows. More than anything I think it's just everyday he wakes up and realizes he has to go play with freaking Joakim Noah as his big man, and that could depress anybody.
On Luol Deng since returning from injury: "He has been good, real active. He's running the floor and doing the things he does well. We get mired in quick shots that always hurt you as a team. If they don't go in, you have no floor balance and your transition defense is poor. Then other guys start hunting for their shots because they haven't touched the ball for a while. Lu isn't a quick-shot player. He needs an offensive flow. When he's at his best, we're moving the ball."What he means: I should have traded him for Pau Gasol.
Hope that helped!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Some Helpful Advice For the Minnesota Twins Regarding Joe Crede
As a White Sox fan I'm generally not in the business of helping out the Minnesota Twins seeing as how their the White Sox' biggest rival, but there have been some new developments in which I feel I have to step forward. Over the last month and a half as I've scoured the internets reading rumors on free agents and the teams interested in them, I've seen a tidbit over and over again...Continue reading at FanHouse
Rich Harden Opts Out of WBC
With the Chicago Cubs not even sure they are going to have Rich Harden available to them on Opening Day this season because of his balky right shoulder, they couldn't have been very happy to see Harden's name amongst the prospective players for Canada's team in the World Baseball Classic this spring. After all, when he eventually ends up on the disabled list this season they want it to be thanks to an injury he suffered in a Cubs jersey in their futile bid to bring home a World Series title. Canada's futile attempt to win the WBC be damned....Continue reading at FanHouse
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Martin Havlat Will Make You Rich
The Blackhawks didn't have their best night on Monday, falling to the Minnesota Wild 4-1 at the United Center in what was only the third time the Hawks lost in regulation at home in 22 games. Still, while most of the sell out crowd left the United Center somewhat bitter thanks to the performance they just witnessed, there was one fan who was thrilled.See, there's this promotion that the Illinois Lottery does that involves giving a million dollars to one lucky ticket holder. If the Blackhawks manage to score a goal at the 10:00 minute mark of the second period -- which is the halfway point of the game for you hockey virgins or mathematically challenged -- a random fan wins $1 million. Well, the Hawks lone goal last night came from Martin Havlat. Guess when he scored it.
Havlat scored the Hawks lone goal in a 4-1 loss to Minnesota at that exact moment, sending an as-yet-unidentified season ticket-holder sitting in Sect. 326 home $1 million heavier in the wallet.
The winner met Havlat outside the Hawks locker room following the game and looked a bit stunned (go figure) as he thanked the Hawks winger.
Something tells me that whoever the guy is, his season tickets aren't going to be in the 300-sections next season. The team will introduce him before their game against St. Louis on Wednesday night, so be sure to show up and find out who he is. That way you'll know whose family member to kidnap and hold for ransom. Spread the wealth, I always say.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Rangers To Sign Omar Vizquel
Most of the time when it comes to drama and sports in and around the city of Dallas, it has something to do with the Cowboys. Maybe the Rangers noticed how popular the Cowboys have gotten because of it, because they've been creating their own drama this winter within their own infield. You all know the story by now. Team tells shortstop to change positions, shortstop tells team where they can stick their position change, shortstop then tells team he was drunk and didn't mean it, and just wants to move on -- or over as the case may be -- and that he loves them...Continue reading at FanHouse
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