Why God Invented Little Brothers

I have a twin sister, whom I love very much, but while I was growing up I always secretly wanted a little brother. For the most part, my time growing up with my sister was filled with torture and abuse. Things like her chasing me with a knife, cutting my basketball in half, spraying Windex in my eyes.

As a child I was pretty sure my sister was Satan. Any attempts on my part for revenge were futile because anytime I tried to get her back she'd pull out the "I'll tell dad you did (fill in anything I could get in trouble for)!"

I'd use my superior intellect to respond "But I didn't (do that thing you're going to get me in trouble for)!"

"Well who do you think dad's gonna believe?"

Yeah, she had my balls in a vice there.

So I wanted a little brother so I could have somebody of my own to torture and abuse. Someone to blackmail, to hit in the face with baseball bats...

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If you're reading this dad, it's not too late. My birthday is in October!

Via With Leather