Tim Tebow Will Cut Your Penis

University of Florida quarterback is an all around threat. He became the first sophomore in the history of college football to win the Heisman Trophy. There's nothing the 6'3 232 pound quarterback can't do. Not only did he throw for 3,286 yards and 32 touchdowns last season, but he also rushed for 895 yards and 23 touchdowns.

That's a whole helluva lot of production, 4,181 yards and 55 touchdowns to be exact. Tebow isn't satisfied with just owning opponents on the football field, though, as he's taken his interests elsewhere. The latest field he's decided to dominate? The most Filipino penises circumcised.

Tebow, who has no surgical training, was visiting an orphanage his father's ministry runs in the country and assisted with the care of locals who had walked miles to the temporary clinic the ministry helped organize.

"The first time, it was nerve-racking," he said. "Hands were shaking a little bit. I mean, I'm cutting somebody. You can't do those kinds of things in the United States. But those people really needed the surgeries. We needed to help them."

Richard Moleno, a Florida graduate and aspiring doctor, said: "You could see he was really into it. He thought it was cool. I'd make a stitch, he'd cut a stitch. He got his hands a little wet in surgery."

I think this is where I'm supposed to make the "he's gone from carving up defenses to carving up Filipino boys" joke, but I'm better than that. Besides, there's nothing I can add to this that Richard Moleno didn't just tell you.