Please Stop Masturbating To The Dewey Decimal System
Since I only care about Penn State football and not the basketball team, it would take a pretty insane story to get me to write a post here about Penn State basketball, or one of the team's players.
I'm not talking "Penn State basketball player scores 55 points" crazy, or "Joe Paterno retires to take over school's basketball program." I'm talking "masturbating in the school library" insane. (Okay, I'd cover the Paterno story.) Which is why I'm grateful for point guard Stanley Pringle and his need to shoot take a load off.
Penn State Police confirmed today that they have filed charges against Nittany Lions basketball player Stanley Pringle in an incident involving public masturbation that occurred last Thursday in Pattee Library.Wait a second...that's a crime? That's how I met my last three girlfriends!Police said Pringle, the team's point guard, sat behind the victim in the stacks section of the library, attempted to start a conversation with the woman and began masturbating. Police have filed charges of public lewdness and disorderly conduct against him in connection to the incident, but Centre County District Judge Jonathan Grine, who is out of the office, was unable to sign the criminal complaint as of 2 p.m. today. Without the signed complaint, Pringle cannot be formally arrested.
At least we know why Stanley's last name is Pringle now, because once it popped, he couldn't stop.
Well, the scouting reports were right, he does have excellent ball handling skills.
I can do this all day, people.
Seriously though, this just goes to show how bad Penn State's basketball team is. The damn point guard on the team has so much trouble picking up girls at the school, he has to resort to jerking off behind them in a library.
2 comments:
I guess he's good at stroking the three?
This is his younger brother and this story is old but it’s still killing my family how people think he would do such a thing. Just beacause my brother has Locks in his hair people be discriminating against him and now people believe he’s a bad guy well all yall r doing is hurting us. How can anyone believe in such a story? Why believe in this story? Any one who knows him would say that he has no troubles scoring off the court. This story hurts me every time I look at it but i refuse let every blog pick at him. How would you feel if you get accused of this and it airs every where on the internet? I guess it dosen’t matter he’s just someone who plays basketball with no feelings at all. Thats the world for ya.
Post a Comment