Bobby Knight Retired? Awesome.

As you can tell by the title of this post, I'm extremely excited about the news of Bobby Knight's retirement. And by extremely excited, I mean I don't care. It's just that the Super Bowl is over, and baseball doesn't start until March. What the hell am I supposed to do for the next month and a half?

What else am I supposed to write about this morning?

It's a question I've been looking around all morning for an answer for, and I just can't find it. The biggest story in sports right now, aside from the Patriots loss which I don't care about anymore, is the fact that Bob Knight retired yesterday. It's a big deal, yes, as Knight is one of the college coaching legends, but let's be honest, he hasn't been relevant in seven years.

That's when Knight became coach of Texas Tech, and aside from fun videos of him arguing with his neighbor about some buckshot, I haven't paid much attention to him since.

My main question about this story is why Knight chose yesterday to do it. It's somewhat hypocritical of a man who spent his career preaching commitment to his players to up and leave halfway through a season, isn't it? Is it because he just achieved victory #900 a few weeks ago, and figures he has nothing left to coach for?

Is it because he knew that since this is the dead time in sports, if he retired yesterday he'd be the biggest story?

Maybe he's telling the truth, and he's just tired.

I don't know, and I don't think it really matters. All that Knight has been good for the last ten years is a soundbite, so I can think of no better way to honor his time as a coach then by letting you listen to him talk some more.



The man has a way with words.

Foul Balls

Gisele Won't Keep Her Word - Before the Super Bowl took place this last weekend, Tom Brady's girlfriend Gisele Bundchen made a promise to us all. She said that if the Giants somehow managed to upset her boytoy's team, and win the Super Bowl, she'd run through midtown Manhattan naked.

Well, the Giants lost, so I've flown to New York and have been walking the streets of Manhattan for the last 36 hours, and I haven't seen her yet. It doesn't look like I'm going to, either.

"It was a mistake and I'm sorry I said it. I don't know what I could have been thinking -- Midtown Manhattan is a parking lot any time of day or night. It'd take 30 minutes just to make it from the Theater District to 34th Street. And what if I ran into the Naked Cowboy and had to pose for pictures with every out-of-town Tom, Dick and Harry? Tack on another 30 minutes, easily. How 'bout I simply flashed my breasts from a billboard in Times Square and call it a day ... will that work?"

No. No it definitely will not.

This Is Just Mean - Imagine your a high school senior from a small town, where you play football. Nobody in the history of your town has ever gone on to play Division 1 college football, but you have a shot.

Then the phone calls start coming. It's Cal head coach Jeff Tedford, and he wants you to come to Berkeley to play on his offensive line. After a few weeks you decide you want to go to Cal, and you set up a press conference in your hometown to announce your decision.

A bunch of people show up, including your family (They look so proud!) and a couple of news stations who are covering the story for that night's local news. You announce your decision to attend the University of California, and everyone celebrates. You feel like a God for one night in your life.

Then a few days later, you find out it was all bullshit. That's what happened to offensive lineman Kevin Hart of Fernley, Nevada.

But it appears that Hart, pictured above with Fernley coach Mark Hodges at Friday's ceremony, was the victim of a prank. Somebody, it appears, has been impersonating Tedford. There never was a scholarship offer — let alone any official contact — from the Golden Bears.

Hodges, who has been a coach for more than 20 years, now says the matter is a "law enforcement investigation."

Oregon was another so-called finalist for Hart, and somebody appears to have been impersonating an Oregon representative as well. An official from Oregon confirmed Hart was not being recruited. The validity of Hart's other finalists — Nevada, Illinois and Oklahoma State — remain in question.

The lesson of the day so far has been don't trust anybody. Not Bobby Knight, not Gisele Bundchen, and now anybody you talk to on the phone. They're all lying to you!