The Basketball Diaries

Houston Rockets 94 Washington Wizards 68

See, Yao Ming was holding the Rockets back. The Rockets were able to win their 13th straight game only hours after learning that the face of the franchise and communists everywhere, Yao Ming, is out for the season with a broken foot. The 41-year old Dikembe "Who wants to sex" Mutombo started in Yao's place, and scored 4 points, grabbed 8 rebounds, and blocked 4 shots. In other words, Houston better feed Tracy McGrady like crazy the rest of this season if they think they're going to have any chance of making the playoffs now. Which they won't.

Miami Heat 107 Sacramento Kings 86

The only bigger longshot in the NBA than the Rockets making the playoffs at this point is the Miami Heat winning a game. That never happ....what the? Holy shit! The Heat actually won a game. I guess that means the Rockets have a chance after all. (Just kidding.) The Heat's victory over the Kings on Tuesday night was their first in a month, snapping an 11-game losing streak. "I know we've had it in us," a visibly relieved Heat coach Pat Riley said. "I don't know where it's been. But tonight, we played extremely well. We just played a complete game for 48 minutes. I feel like a mosquito in a nudist colony. I know what to do. I just don't know where to start." You know, it's weird. That's exactly what I was thinking too.

Golden State Warriors 105 Seattle Sonics 99

One of the team's poised to feast on the rotting corpse that is the Rockets playoff chances is the Warriors, and they did their job on Tuesday night. Monta Ellis had 30 points, Baron Davis had 20 points and 10 assists, and Austin Croshere (!?) scored 14 points to lead Golden State over the Sonics. Croshere has played like 3 minutes all season, yet there he was in the third quarter scoring all 14 of his points without missing a shot. "The last few years, my role has been to be ready, not knowing if you're going to get a DNP or play 27 minutes," Croshere said. "That's tough for younger players, but I've been doing it for a while now. ... It felt good to be out there. I didn't really do anything special. We've got four great scorers out there, so I was just reading the double-teams and getting to the basket." I didn't even know he was still alive.

Elsewhere...

• Magic 102 Nets 92
• Bucks 105 Cavs 102
• TWolves 111 Jazz 100
• Suns 127 Grizzlies 113
• Lakers 96 Blazers 83