Will Leitch is Far From the Maddening Crowd

So, I came home last night to find my very own copy of God Save the Fan by Deadspin’s Will Leitch.

Of course, I eagerly tore into it (it was that or watch Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? which, sadly, I already know the answer to) and I must say, it's a great read. Basically Deadspin in long form with a heavier environmental footprint - and unlike Deadspin, you can drop food on it while you're reading!

All in all, a big thumb's up. Go buy it. Now. And while you're at it, stock up on a few for your friends and family.

But...

I have one nit to pick with Will and his book: his entire premise.

Will's central theme is that "we the sports fans" are being left out of the mainstream sports media equation and that it's time we wrested power back from the evil ESPN overlords and took control of the stories that really matter to the fans.

Never mind that the first example Will used as proof of media bias and ineptitude was the lack of national coverage of Michael Vick's herpes (cuz when I think of problems with football coverage, my mind immediately races to genital cold sores). I'm talking about the bigger issue Will presents, as he states in his introduction:

"It's natural that [the sports media] would be threatened by fan empowerment; after all, we're the ones who pay for all this. If we all realized that, hey, we don't need to listen to these idiots on television screaming at us... they'd be out of a job. But it's vital for sports fans to realize that we don't need them, that we can choose what we want now. We just have to take charge and realize our power. Hopefully, this book will help with that."

Huey Long lives! Let the people decide! We can choose what we want! No longer do we need bombastic talking heads and agenda-laden sportswriters telling us what the story is! We can do it ourselves!

There's only one problem with that: Will doesn't believe it himself.

Deadspin is the Pakistan of sports blogs: democracy as appearance, not reality.

You see, Deadspin controls who is allowed to comment on their blog. You need to be granted a "backstage pass" before you can leave any bon mots on the site. So, like a gated community or a hot college frat, prospective D'spinners have to jump through the appropriate verbal hoops to get permission to be heard. And good luck if you write something stupid cuz Deadspin is now even using rejected commenters tryouts as fodder for some of their stories.

Don't misunderstand. I think exclusion is a good thing. God knows, in a country where 15 million sports fans cheer for a team solely because they like the color of the uniforms, it's smart to be a little careful about who you let in. If you want to see what pure democracy looks like, try this - not pretty.

But let's face it: Deadspin and its commenters are about as representative of the US sports fan base as this lass.

It's kinda hard for me to buy the whole premise Will is selling when his actions prove he knows that the majority of fans are as stupid, short-sighted and boring as any ESPN talking head.

(Witty, funny brilliant) pot, meet kettle.

Foul Balls

Savvy Observations - Well, it only took fifty games and a piss-poor 23-23-4 record, but after his teams' dismal outing against the Columbus Blue Jackets last night (the friggin' Columbus Blue Jackets?) Blackhawks coach Denis Savard finally let it rip, reaming out his players in the press conference that followed:

"This is a divisional game, we're fighting for our lives here, we want to get into the playoffs, we had a nice crowd and this is what they give us? I think they forgot last summer or two summers ago or three summers ago what we gave them (contracts). We committed to them. They were very happy when they signed it. Well, commit to us, commit to the jersey, commit to the people here. They don't want to commit to the Indian, let's go upstairs and get them out of here."

You heard him, boys. Best commit to the Indian or the Indian will [insert funny but undoubtedly racist one-liner here].

Why Condoms Are Good - Chicago Bears' Brian Urlacher finally gets to spend time with the result of his one-night stand: his two-year-old son.

After a day of meetings on Thursday, a Will County judge dismissed all pending litigation between the Bears linebacker and infamous star-fu**ker Tyna Robertson, after the two agreed on a new court order requiring Urlacher to drive their son back and forth to spend time with each of his parents.

"It was a great day in court," Urlacher said in a phone interview Thursday evening. "I achieved what I wanted to achieve, and that was to see my son more. That was the goal from the beginning. All she wanted was money and fame."

It's good to see that a sports star can be just like us. You know, go out and get shitfaced, get in the wrong chick's pants and and have to pay the price for the rest of his life. Except for the part about him living in a $5 million dollar lakefront villa instead of a cramped Schaumburg studio apartment that reeks of garlic from the neighbors next door, we're all just the same!