The Cubs Will Rape You Any Way They Can

The Chicago Cubs have it made in the city of Chicago. They haven't won a championship in 100 years, yet they own the city when it comes to baseball. Except for the two year period that was 2005 and 2006 when the White Sox won the World Series, the only story in town when it comes to baseball is the Chicago Cubs.

Of course, you already know that. It's not like I'm hitting you with any shocking news here.

It must be a wonderful thing for ownership to know that no matter how bad the team performs, no matter how many dumb mistakes they make, and no matter how many times they break their fan's hearts, people are going to show up everyday. They're going to sit out there in the bleachers, drink their beer, and have themselves a great time.

It's great!

People tend to think White Sox fans are jealous of the Cubs because of this type of thing. I can't speak for Sox fans who are jealous of the Cubs, because I'm not jealous of the Cubs or anything they have. So maybe they are. Me?

I have my own reasons to criticize this team. I see the Cubs as abusers more than anything. They have a great thing going with their fanbase, but yet they try to screw their own fans as often as possible.

A few years ago the Cubs started their own ticket scalping operation across the street from Wrigley Field, Premier Tickets. They were literally buying tickets from themselves to key home games, games against the Cardinals and White Sox to name a few, and then selling them across the street from Wrigley for much higher than usual face value.

A very thinly veiled attempt to get as much money out of your pocket as they possibly can. There was a bit of an uproar, but in the end, Cubs fans are willing to pay whatever they have to anyway so it died down.

And now this morning we find out, from Michael Sneed(!?), that the Cubs have found a whole new way to get every last dollar out of your cold dead hands.

Sneed has learned the best new seats in the house at Wrigley Field, also known as the 70 new "bullpen box seats" scheduled to be built next to the dugout along the third base line, will be auctioned off to the highest bidder!

"That way, everyone will have an equal shot at purchasing a seat within smelling distance of the chewing tobacco in the dugout," a Sneed tipster said. "It isn't known yet whether the seats will be auctioned per game or per season," the source said.

In other words, the new bullpen box seats are a complete microcosm of how free agency works in baseball. No matter what they say, it's not equal.

When Alex Rodriguez opted out of his contract this winter, everybody in baseball had a chance to make him an offer. Of course, teams like Tampa Bay couldn't afford to pay A-Rod what he wanted while the Yankees could, and now Rodriguez is still a Yankee.

The worst part of all of this? Well, before the Cubs started their own scalping agency, nobody else in baseball had done anything like it before. Now just about every team has different ticket prices set for certain games that are considered "premium" over just the "regular" games.

So how long until every team in baseball adapts this auction policy, and none of us can afford to go to a game anymore? Just remember that when the day comes, whom we can thank for all of it.

Foul Balls

Jose Canseco Is After Magglio - Jose Canseco has another book coming out about steroids in baseball called Vindicated. It's scheduled to be released by Opening Day, but it's hard to say how the thing is going to sell since it's not going to be as shocking to anyone as Canseco's first book, Juiced.

So when you aren't sure how well the book is going to sell, you have your publisher leak stories like this so you can get some free exposure for it.

Jose Canseco offered to keep Magglio Ordonez "clear" in his upcoming book if the Detroit Tigers outfielder invested in a movie project promoted by Canseco, The New York Times reported Wednesday night.

The newspaper cited "a person in baseball with knowledge of the situation" in a report on its Web site and said four people in baseball, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said Major League Baseball referred the matter to the FBI.

Ordonez decided not to go forward with a complaint, so the FBI didn't open a formal investigation, the newspaper said. Ordonez spoke to Tigers president Dave Dombrowski, who contacted MLB.

"I didn't want to press charges against him," Ordonez was quoted as saying. "I don't want any problems. He is probably desperate for money. I don't understand why he is trying to put people down."

Canseco of course was teammates with Maggs on the White Sox in 2001. So did Jose basically threaten Magglio? Of course he did. He's Jose freaking Canseco. The National Enquirer could run a story that Canseco and Bat Boy are writing a book together, and I wouldn't rule it out.

An Answer To JayBandit's Question - In yesterday's post a question was posed of me in the comments section from reader JayBandit.

Jay asked,

Is there a reason you guys don't really cover the Blackhawks much at all???

The answer is yes, Jay. A few reasons.

It's not that I don't like the Blackhawks or hockey in general. Granted, I'm not as big on hockey as I used to be, but it's the sports own fault. My biggest problem with the Hawks was always Bill Wirtz, and now that Dollar Bill is dead, I like the direction the organization is starting to take.

That said, I still can't watch a lot of the games on television, which presents a problem in and of itself. The biggest reason I don't cover the Blackhawks very much around here is I just don't ever get a chance to watch them play.

When you combine the fact that half the games aren't televised, that I have another full time job, and that I have to cover the AL Central, and AL West along with Big Ten basketball and football for FanHouse, I just don't have the time to work in Hawks games.

Now if they ever come out with a DVR that can record three things at once instead of two, it may be a different story.