Crede's Back (So is Panger)
As any Balls regular knows (Tom, Silvio), I've been MIA from here for awhile. When I knew the writers' strike was imminent, I took an actual [deep breath] job to tide me over. But the project's coming to an end and I told Fornelli to expect some Panger bylines here again soon.
So it shouldn't have been a shock to get an email last night from the Foul Fuhrer himself asking me to write a small piece for today.
The problem wasn't the request. It was me. It's only been a few months but I was nervous. I emailed back: "Can't even remember how to write this stuff."
Fornelli's response:
"Intro
Quote
Opinion
Dick Joke
It really is a classic formula."
CREDE'S BACK?
Fans of Joe Crede are breathing a little easier today. It won't be made official until this morning but the Chicago White Sox third baseman has agreed Thursday to a one-year, $5.1 million contract.
Crede, who played only 47 games last season before back surgery, was Chicago's last remaining arbitration-eligible player. He batted .216 with four homers and 22 RBIs last season.
His bonuses under the new deal include $50,000 each for reaching 400, 425, 450, 475, 500 and 525 plate appearances.
Don't get too excited, this really doesn't mean much for those of us praying he'll stay in Chicago. While no team is going to touch Crede until they see what he can do in spring training, if he performs well and it looks like he's fully recovered, chances are we still won't be seeing Joe in black and silver on Opening Day.
Joe Crede's dick is so big, Steven Hawking has a theory about it.
3 comments:
"This ensures another year of Crede swinging his big stick around on the south side of town" didn't suffice?
It will take me a long time to reach that level of dick joke writing skill.
I have faith in you.
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