Spread Em: NFL Week 15

It's that time of the week again. The time when I feel the need to prove to you all once again, that nobody, and I mean nobody, is as good as I am at picking losers. Every Friday here at Foul Balls I will pick a winner in every NFL game that weekend, and I will be wrong the majority of the time. Let's get to this week's picks.

Saturday Game

49ers vs. Bengals (-9) - I hate taking the Bengals, but I think the Niners are one of the teams that the Bengals not only should beat, but actually will beat. San Fran's offense can't score, their defense can't really keep anybody from scoring, and their quarterback and head coach are feuding through the media. The Bengals meanwhile haven't had anybody arrested in months, so things are looking up in the Nati!

Early Games

Saints (-4) vs. Cardinals - I think the Saints can do the same thing Seattle's been doing lately, and that the Patriots have done a lot this season, just abandon the run game and throw every play. For the most part it's what they did against Atlanta on Monday night, and it worked.

Bucs vs. Falcons (+14) - I'm only picking the Falcons in this game on the theory that they're gonna be so pissed off from Bobby Petrino's quitting on them to go to Arkansas, and just come out and beat the hell out of Tampa on Sunday. Either that or Tampa's offense will be just mediocre enough to let the Falcons hang around.

Dolphins (+4) vs. Ravens - Now I'm not saying this will be the game the Dolphins finally win, I've already learned my lesson for saying such stupid things. I'm only picking the Dolphins here because I don't trust the Ravens to beat anybody by 5 points, let alone to do so on the road. Also, if this is the only game available in your area on Sunday, I suggest you score some points with the woman and tell her "You know what honey? Fuck football! I want to spend the day with you!" Then fake sick before the afternoon games start so you can watch them.

Browns vs. Bills (+6) - Can you believe this game has big time playoff implications in the AFC? I'm really not sure which way I want to go in this game, I just know that Buffalo's been good to me all season, and when I'm not too sure I always take the points. So....Buffalo it is.

Rams vs. Packers (-9) - For most of the season the Packers biggest hole was their lack of a running game. The last few weeks Ryan Grant has filled that hole pretty well, and he's doing it during the right time of the season. Green Bay keeps rolling this week against the Rams.

Steelers (-3.5) vs. Jaguars - I really like the Jaguars. I do. It's just that everytime I see them go against one of the elite teams in the AFC like the Colts or Pats, they generally struggle. I don't know that the Steelers can be considered one of the AFC's elite, but they can beat anybody at anytime, and they're playing at home. So I'll take the Steelers.

Patriots (-22.5) vs. Jets - I was thinking earlier this week that if Bill Belichick really wanted to rub it in to the the Jets, there was one thing he could do. He should have come out yesterday and told the media that the Patriots would not be dressing their punter this weekend. They were going to leave him on the inactice list. "We don't plan on using him." Because really, I don't think the Patriots will need him this week. Though there is a wild card in this game. Will the Patriots be clear headed? They haven't played this early in the day in quite some time.

Panthers vs. Seahawks (-8) - The Panthers suck and the Seahawks don't.

Chiefs (+4) vs. Titans - Vince Young just really seems to be regressing this year, and Kansas City is a tough place for any team to go and play. I think the Chiefs pull one out at home this weekend.

Late Games

Raiders vs. Colts (-11) - The Colts are finally starting to play like the Colts in recent weeks, and it seems they're peaking at the right time. They still won't have Marvin Harrison but it looks like Peyton is finally comfortable with Anthony Gonzalez, and though they still don't have Dwight Freeney on defense, it hasn't really seemed to cause the unit to suffer that much. As long as they keep Justin Fargas in check, this game should be rather easy for Indy.

Lions (+11) vs. Chargers - Last week I didn't think the Lions had any chance in hell of staying with the Cowboys, yet they did. So this week I'm going to give them some credit and say they'll stay within range of San Diego. Of course, this means they'll lose by 30.

Cowboys vs. Eagles (+11) - I'm just going with my "NFC East Matchups Are Always Close" theory in this game. I'm not that confident in this pick, but whatever, I'll go with it.

Primetime Games

Giants vs. Redskins (+5) - See previous game.

Vikings (-10) vs. Bears - The last time these two met the Vikings and Purple Jesus ran all over the Bears at Soldier Field. They did this without any kind of passing attack whatsoever, and now Tavares Jackson looks like an actual quarterback. The Bears will be starting Kyle Orton, and they've always struggled at the Metrodome. Not to mention this is on Monday Night Football, and the Bears always embarass themselves on national broadcasts.

Last Week: 9-7

Overall: 104-83-9

All spreads courtesy of Bodog