As The White Sox Sit With Thumbs Up Their Ass

I haven't exactly been pleased with Kenny Williams and the White Sox this offseason. Just yesterday I complained about the trade for Carlos Quentin, and at FanHouse I got on Kenny Williams' case for not getting involved in any trade talks for Dan Haren or Erik Bedard.

Then the Tigers made that trade last night, and the 2008 baseball season has already been ruined for me. If you didn't hear about the trade yet, here are the particulars.

The Marlins and Tigers have agreed in principle to a deal that would send Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis to Detroit for young left-hander Andrew Miller, outfielder Cameron Maybin, backup catcher Mike Rabelo and pitchers Burke Badenhop, Dallas Trahern and Eulogio De La Cruz, SI.com has confirmed.

Good God.

It happened again! Just a few weeks after the Angels came out of nowhere and "stole" Torii Hunter from the White Sox, the Tigers do the same thing and snatch not only Miguel Cabrera, but they get Dontrelle Willis too?

As if that isn't bad enough, there are reports coming out of Cleveland that the Indians are close to pulling off a deal that would send Jason Bay from Pittsburgh to Cleveland.

A rumor on ESPN.com surfaced during the day that Cleveland and Pittsburgh were discussing a possible deal that would send Bay to the Indians in exchange for catcher Kelly Shoppach and left-hander Cliff Lee.

Asked if he knew if there was any substance to the rumor, Bay sounded surprised.

"I have not heard one bit," Bay said over the phone. "You [reporters] are my eyes and ears. I get all my information from reading."

So let's recap.

The Tigers, who finished second in the AL Central last season, have added an MVP caliber third baseman to their already potent lineup and a left-handed pitcher that's capable of winning 20 games a season to their already stacked starting rotation.

Seriously, take a look at the Tigers projected starting lineup this season after making this deal.

1. Curtis Granderson
2. Placido Polanco
3. Magglio Ordonez
4. Gary Sheffield
5. Miguel Cabrera
6. Carlos Guillen
7. Ivan Rodriguez
8. Edgar Renteria
9. Marcus Thames/Jacque Jones

That lineup is going to score over 1,000 runs this season for Detroit.

The Indians won the division last year, and though Jason Bay isn't as big a landing as Cabrera and Willis, he'll still be a huge boost to an already dangerous Indians lineup.

The White Sox finished in fourth place, far out of contention, and they traded their most consistent pitcher for Orlando Cabrera and got Carlos Quentin.

But don't worry, Sox fans. Kenny and the Sox are doing everything possible to make this a winning team again! At least that's the crap they want us to believe.

In truth, I think the Sox would love to be a winning team again, just as long as they don't have to spend too much money to do so.

Seriously, I'm so pissed off at this team right now that I'm starting to sound like Jay Mariotti, and that only serves to piss me off even more. What the hell is the plan on the south side? How can Kenny Williams tell us with a straight face that he thinks this team is going to be able to compete in the AL Central next season?

Even the Royals are out there and spending money on free agents like Jose Guillen. Sure, Jose Guillen isn't going to win a division for anybody, but let me ask you this. Who would the White Sox have been better off going after? Jose Guillen whom you know is going to hit about .270 and hit 20 home runs and drive in around 75 RBI while playing left field? Or some lifetime .230 hitting project like Carlos Quentin who will compete for a starting job in left field?

Well, if you're trying to win this season, you go after Guillen. If you're just trying anything to plug in a hole, you go after Quentin.

So what the hell are you going to do to fix this, Kenny?

"You try to do things that make sense and you can afford," Williams said. "I can't give you a dollar if I don't have 50 cents. Decisions are made awfully easy for you."

Really? I didn't realize we were in Tampa.

The White Sox can't afford to get the big players? That's odd, I seem to remember that being the case before 2005 when US Cellular Field was empty most of the time. Ever since then though, the Sox have been playing in front of packed houses the last two seasons.

Did you let all those extra people in for free? Are they not buying any beer or nachos? Where is all that money going?

There is some good news though, Sox fans. There's a rumor out there that the Sox are currently talking to the Royals about trading for David DeJesus. Oh boy! And now with Miguel Cabrera off the market, more teams are going to be interested in Joe Crede, and the Sox are going to get another prospect you've never heard of that will never develop into anything for him!

Exciting times on the South Side!!

Foul Balls

Cubs Lead Race For Japanese Guy With Awesome Name - While the Cubs haven't really done anything this offseason either, it's not as big a problem seeing as how they actually won their division this season and don't have as many glaring holes. They are the favorite to land one of Japan's best hitters though.

Whether the White Sox are serious about Japanese free agent Kosuke Fukudome, the Cubs remain the team to beat for the services of Japan's top hitter.

While being careful to respect the cultural nuances of the trans-Pacific pursuit of the outfielder, the Cubs have made it clear Fukudome is their top offseason target. And indications from those close to the Japanese side of the process suggest the Cubs are at the front of a large pack of suitors.

I'm not sure how you pronounce Fukudome's name, but even after I find out, I'm going to keep pronouncing it the way I have been. Fuck-You-Dome. In fact, I already have a t-shirt idea I'm going to get Silvio started on, and it's awesome. So the Cubs better sign this guy.

Travis Henry Is Vindicated - Back in September Travis Henry tested positive for marijuana, and was facing a year long suspension by the NFL. Nobody doubted that Henry had in fact been smoking some of the demon weed because it wasn't exactly the first time he'd been busted for it.

Still, Henry maintained his innocence, and vowed to fight the positive result. He was so vocal about it that I almost believed him. Now I have no choice but to.

Denver Broncos halfback Travis Henry won an appeal of his one-year drug suspension and will be able to finish out the remainder of the season.

The NFL informed Henry in September he had failed a test for marijuana. He disputed the results and sued the NFL to avoid a suspension. He contended the league violated its substance abuse policy by not allowing an expert of Henry's choosing to be present for the testing.

Henry was so happy about the news, that he immediately went out and impregnated 7 more women.

Rose Bowl Tickets Are In Demand - If you're planning on following the Illini to Pasadena for New Year's, it's not going to be easy to get tickets.

The school has been given 26,000 tickets to the game. First dibs go to school donors (unfortunately, my "donations" to the trees on the quad don't count) and season ticket holders. After them the student season ticket holders get a chance to buy tickets.

After that the school will put whatever's left on sale for the general public next week. So far the school's already received 12,000 ticket requests, so I don't like the general public's odds. Thank God for StubHub!