A USC Coed Laments Her Team's Loss

[An acquaintance of mine was at the Coliseum last night and has agreed to share her feelings after the Trojans' stunning loss to the Stanford Cardinal - Panger]



Hi, guys.

Honestly, I don't have much to say. I'd be lying if I told you last night wasn't the worst thing that ever happened to me. Except for when my hairdresser left my highlights on too long and I looked like Britney Spears on crack, which is to say, Britney Spears.

Anywho, I'm a "glass half full" kinda girl, so I look at this whole thing as good news/bad news.

The bad news is we pretty much eradicated our national title hopes by losing our first home game in six years to a third-rate program coached by a guy who was clearly messing with Coach Carroll's head when he proclaimed this summer that USC might have the best team in the history of college football.

The good news? My trust fund kicks in next week, I got these bitchin' new veneers, and this cool guy I met at Starbucks said he said he has a part for me in his next movie!!!

Okay, I gotta go and find somebody to write a paper for me. Toodles!