Is Charlie Weis Just The Wizard of Oz In A Fat Suit?

Because Fornelli was at his sister's wedding yesterday afternoon, I felt compelled to do something I rarely ever do, watch an Irish football game from start to finish.

Here's what I came away with:

1. Demetrius Jones knew what he was doing getting the hell out of Notre Dame.
2. Charlie Weis is incompetent.

Watching the game just took my breath away. Mangled plays that high school players would know better than to try. Snaps sailing over the head of the quarterback. So many fumbles, baubles and missed tackles that when one of the announcers mentioned Weis' passion is special needs kids, I began to wonder if he hadn't loaded the offensive line with them.

This is the post-Brady Quinn era team he puts together?

I can hear Weis' defenders: "But he's had to replace all the key offensive positions."

So what? He's been at Notre Dame for three years. Three years to recruit and train in anticipation of this very season. Three years to create a team in his own image and he puts together an offensive line a Pop Warner team could pick apart?

Oh my God, maybe he has created a team in his own image.

I don't care how many players you lose, this is a top program; your kids should be able to execute the basics. And spectators should be able to witness a whisper of potential, a moment where you sit back and say, "Okay, I see why Weis recruited him."

For me, anyway, there wasn't one of those moments to be had.

But beyond yesterday's joke of a game, two things bother me even more.

First, the way Weis handled the whole quarterback situation. What he did to Demetrius Jones was unfathomable, pulling his starting quarterback out of the first game of the season before the end of the first half.

Think about it. You've had seven months - an entire off-season - to put your team and strategy together and in the span of less than 30 minutes, you change your mind. I mean, I'm more decisive about what dress I'm wearing to a party than Weis is about the lynch pin of his offense?

(And while we're talking about Jones, let's consider the kind of relationship Weis must have fostered with his young charge that in just three weeks he went from starting quarterback at Notre Dame to a student at a Northern Illinois. What the hell is that about? What coach worth his salt would let a situation devolve to that point?)

Second, in an ESPN article today with the incredible title, "Notre Dame Decides to Start Season Over," Weis is quoted as saying:

"We are going back to our first day of installation of training camp. That's what we're putting in [Sunday], just as if it were the first day of training camp. And everything is even steven, like it's the first day out there and everything's up for grabs."

Earth to Coach Weis: this isn't a Sunday morning golf game. You don't get a mulligan here. It's too friggin' late to go back to the first day of training camp. And besides, given what we've seen over the last three weeks, your training camp must have sucked. Why on earth would you do it again?

No wonder this guy is so bad at losing weight. He probably starts every morning with egg whites, then by the end of the day he's inhaling cartons of Twinkies washed down with a few dozen Yoo Hoo's, then he wakes up the next morning chirping, "Hey, it's a new day! Pass the egg whites!"

Seriously, someone tell me why this guy is so revered.

Cuz he coordinated the Patriots offense under Bill Belichick? Belichick hasn't exactly suffered with Weis' departure. (All he had to do was buy a new camera.)

Because he helped Tom Brady develop as quarterback? Taking credit for Tom Brady's development is like Eileen Ford taking credit for making Giselle Bundchen pretty.

For the sake of all the Irish fans out there, I sure hope I'm wrong, but I don't think Charlie Weis is anywhere close to being the genius you all think he is.

In fact, I'm guessing that within a couple years, he'll be packing his bags and disappearing into the night, muttering, "Pay no attention to the man behind the very big curtain."


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