Crones 1, UC Berkeley 0

God, I love it here in California. The warm climate, the incredible vistas, the whack-job Wiccan wannabes who hijack other peoples' backyards and get away with it.

A judge on Wednesday refused the University of California, Berkeley's request to immediately evict a group of protesters who took up residence in an oak grove threatened by the planned construction of a campus athletic center.

The judge agreed, however, to schedule an Oct. 1 hearing on whether to grant the school an injunction that would lead to the protesters' removal from the stand of trees they have occupied for nine months, according to campus spokesman Dan Mogulof.

Mr. Mogulof, no offense, but you're employing the wrong strategy here.

Take a look at these protesters, a good hard look. What do you see?

That's right, women who haven't had sex since 1957.

Can you blame them for naming their houseplants, dressing their dogs in hand-knit ponchos and trying to save the biggest wood they've seen in fifty years?

For God's sake, it's so obvious: if you want to solve this problem, they need to get laid.

I suggest enlisting some of your randy professors emeritus by appealing to their school spirit. "Nail one for the Gipper!"

Trust me, give these hoary minxes a taste of the "Big O" and they won't care if you nuke Marin County.

via FanHouse