Cowpoked

Well, wasn't that just fantastic?

The Bears were beat in every facet of the game Sunday night, and they deserved every second of the 34-10 beatdown received at the hands of the Cowboys.

I dare you to find one facet of the game where you can say the Bears did a good job.

Go ahead, take your time.

If you said something and weren't being sarcastic, you're an idiot. Leave this site immediately and go read Mariotti's column.

The first half of the game was okay. The second half was horrible.

Couldn't move the ball. Couldn't stop Dallas. Couldn't tackle. Couldn't catch. Couldn't stop pulling groins. Couldn't catch any kickoffs or punts.

Couldn't do anything.

For a few seconds I thought I'd entered some crazy time warp and was suddenly watching last week's Notre Dame game.

Here's one thing I have to know, though. I'm pretty sure the Cowboys only ran the ball once during the second half before they'd blown the game open. So why then didn't the Bears just start dropping everybody into coverage? Isn't that what the Tampa-2 is? I know they really only use it on third downs, but when you know the offense is going to throw, every down is a third down.

It's tough to blame the defense for this one. When when you're on the field all night, you tend to get worn down.

No, this loss was a full team effort but I think the brunt of the blame has to go to the offense, and that midget in the #8. The Dallas defense was absolutely horrible in the first two weeks of the season, and we could only manage 10 points against them?

The time has come for Brian Griese to take over the starting quarterback position.

I've finally had it with Grossman.

Is Griese better than Grossman? Not exactly, but the key is he's not as bad.

I mean, seriously, what the hell do the Bears have to lose at this point? What more do they need to see from Grossman to realize that the kid is just not cut out to be a NFL quarterback? I know I defended him for a while, but I have seen the light. Rex has to go.

Still, it's not all Rex's fault. I think Silvio put it best when I asked him why we don't just pull Grossman when we were down late, and he replied,

"Yeah, and bring in receivers that run complete routes and that can catch. A running back that can pick up blitzes and doesn't fumble. Defensive backs that can tackle, and a defensive line that doesn't get faked out by the quarterback all the time."

Of course, you'll notice that even though he muffed two kicks and fumbled another, neither of us mentioned Devin Hester. He's the only offensive weapon we have, so I guess we'll just have to allow him to have a bad game from time to time.

Next Sunday's game against Detroit can't get here soon enough. I have to get this taste out of my mouth.

Monster of the Midway

• Mike Brown - Brown got hurt in the season opener, and is out for the season. So obviously he didn't play last night, and that makes him the only guy on the team who didn't fuck up somehow. Way to go, Mike!

Dumbass of the Day

• Bernard Berrian - This could easily go to Rex, but I think at this point there's no need to point out the fact he sucks. We all know. So today I'll give it to Bernard Berrian who dropped three passes, one of which probably would have been a touchdown. When you have a quarterback that sucks as bad as Grossman, you cannot afford to fuck up.

Other Thoughts

• Maybe it was the fact we were getting killed, but was I the only one pissed off by all the commercials in Spanish and the graphics? Yeah, I know we're the Osos de Chicago. I learned that shit in high school. Wow. All I know is that when I watch soccer on Telemundo or Univision they aren't giving me anything in English.
• Note to Adam Archuleta: Next time when trying to tackle somebody, try using your arms. What you want to do is wrap them around the guy you're tackling, and drag him to the ground. It's a crazy new wave theory, I know, but try it sometime. You won't be sorry.
• Another piece of gold from Silvio: the Bears need to have more sex to strengthen up those groin muscles. I'm looking at you Vasher and Briggs.
• Speaking of Briggs, when we first heard he wasn't coming back in the second half, I couldn't help but wonder if he'd gotten into another car accident at halftime.
• Finally, I'd just like to thank the Redskins for blowing their lead against the Giants, and as a result, killing my teaser bet. What kind of asshole would root for that team?