Karch Kiraly Is An GEPILF*

While I surely miss my hometown of Chicago (and my adopted hometown, Washington, D.C.), there are some advantages to living in Los Angeles.

For example, while most of you are wilting in crippling heat and humidity, I have my windows open and at this very moment am feeling a cool 72 degree onshore breeze tickle my face.

Another example: I get to spend this weekend ogling one of my favorite all-time athletes Karch Kiraly, 46, as he plays in his farewell tour at the American Volleyball Professionals Manhattan Beach Open.

Or so I thought.

In case you don't know him, Kiraly is the Michael Jordan of pro beach volleyball.

He's the oldest player to compete in the sport and continues to beat competitors literally half his age. He's won at least one tournament in 24 of the 27 seasons he has played, spanning four different decades. Kiraly is the only volleyball player in Olympic history to win three Gold medals, having been part of the United States' Gold Medal indoor teams in 1984 and 1988, and winning the Gold Medal in beach volleyball at the 1996 Atlanta Olympic Games.

And did I mention he's unbelievably cute? One of my first crushes was Karch.

So seeing him in his farewell appearance, well, that was gonna be something special.

But all is not cool breezes and firm abs here in La La Land. For you see, Karch.... my fingers can barely... type this.... Karch is hurt. A strained left calf.

So what was supposed to be his one last stop in Manhattan Beach has been scratched. Instead, Karch will be fully dressed and calling the action for NBC for Saturday's women's final and the men's final on Sunday.

Karch accepts his fate.

"...that is always the risk that anybody takes if they want to catch an almost 47-year-old athlete one more time. You never know how healthy somebody is going to stay and I've been lucky for much of the year, but this one caught up with me."

I'm not quite as sanguine. I wanted to see the guy.

Oh well, thank God for youtube.

*Guys with Enlarging Prostates I'd Love to F**k

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