High Five

A brief tour of the interweb while getting first in line for a John Doe, I mean, Joe Smith Bulls jersey

1. Chicagoans have spoken: We want Mark Cuban to buy the Cubs! [Fanhouse]
2. Scott Van Pelt interviewed Deadspin's Will Leitch on ESPN radio yesterday. Leitch's first suggestion for making ESPN better? "Fire Dan Patrick." [ESPN Radio]
3. Next stop for this translator, the United Nations. [The Big Lead or here]
4. A new R&R feature: Douchebag of the Week. The inaugural and much-deserving winner, Florida Marlins' President David Samson. [Rumors and Rants]
5. Personally, I was hoping Zidane was going to headbutt the salesman. [youtube.com]