This Just In: Mark Cuban is Bonkers

Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, has decided that their first round loss in the NBA playoffs was not due to the complete collapse of his team.

No.

He's decided it was a vast conspiracy, led by the evil and all-powerful NBA warlord and Golden State Warriors coach Don Nelson.

Cuban contends that Nelson, while a coach for the Dallas Mavericks, gathered "confidential information" which he then used to tattoo the Mavs, Dirk Nowitski in particular.

So, get this, he's suing to prevent Nelson from coaching Golden State against the Mavs in the future.

Don Nelson's attorney, John O'Connor, who must truly love getting $800 an hour for dealing with this sorry shit, said sarcastically, "I suppose he [Nelson] knows Nowitzki likes to go right instead of left, but normally that's not a trade secret."

This battle has a long and proud history behind it:

".. [It's] an extension of an ongoing feud about compensation between the two men, who together resurrected the Mavs' franchise. Nelson sued Cuban last winter, claiming he is due $6.5 million in deferred payments...

"Cuban contends Nelson forfeited the money when he accepted the Golden State job because it breached a "non-compete" clause in his Mavs contract, a $200,000-a-year consulting position that ran through 2011.

"O'Connor said Cuban had stopped paying Nelson before he took the Golden State job and Nelson believed he was no longer bound to the "non-compete" clause."

I was ready to cast this off as the ravings of another billionaire whackjob, but then Foul Balls received an email from an anonymous reader.

In it was a disturbing photo taken when Nelson was coaching the Mavs.

It clearly shows Nelson was indeed going undercover to gather secret info about the team.

This, sir, is what I believe you attorneys call, "Exhibit A."

Mister O'Conner, Esquire, what do you have to say for your client now, huh? Huh?



with thanks to Deadspin and Uwe Blog