Tank Johnson Pulled Over in Arizona

Well, Tank Johnson's promise to be a new man and one day win the NFL's Man of the Year award lasted a a little over a month at least. Good for him.

Unfortunately, it ended Friday morning in Arizona.

Police in Gilbert, Ariz., pulled Johnson over at 3:30 a.m. Friday and cited him for "being impaired to the slightest degree," Sgt. Andrew Duncan told the Chicago Tribune in a story posted on its Web site.

Johnson had been going 40 mph in a 25 mph zone when the officer "made observations that led him to believe Johnson was impaired," Duncan said.

A "very cooperative" Johnson was taken to the Gilbert police station where officials drew blood for a blood-alcohol content test, Duncan said. Afterward, Johnson was released.

Test results aren't expected for up to two weeks, Duncan said.

Wait a minute. Impaired to the slightest degree?

What in the hell does that mean?

If I cut my finger at work, and then drive home, am I impaired to the slightest degree? If I kill a hooker and then snort 15 lines of Columbia's finest off her stomach, am I impaired to a slightly worse than a tenth of a degree?

Could Tank being impaired to the slightest degree have anything to do with the fact it was 3:30AM and he was just tired?

Also, since when do they draw blood? I thought they had breathalyzers for that type of thing? Why the hell do they need two weeks? Do they need the time to plant something in his blood so it comes back as a positive?

Are Cardinals fans still that upset over the Bears comeback victory last season on Monday Night Football? If they are, shouldn't they be going after Brian Urlacher or Devin Hester?

What the hell did Tank do?

As you can see, I have more questions about this incident than I do facts. Personally I think Tank got pulled over for speeding, and then the cop realized who he was, and decided to dig a little further.

Of course, this isn't going to bode well for Tank if he wants to get his suspension reduced to six games instead of eight. Hopefully if it turns out it's nothing more than a speeding violation, Roger Goodell won't punish him for that.

We'll keep you updated on this story as it develops. Well, unless I'm slightly impaired. In which case, I don't know what I'll do.