Not Right, Said Fred

You know the story a couple days ago about the 1000 pound "feral hog" killed by some kid from Alabama?

Well, turns out the hog's name was Fred.

That's right, the "wild beast" that 11-year-old Jamison Stone hunted down for three excruciating hours was someone's pet.

Rhonda Blissitt's pet, to be precise. She got him for a Christmas present three years ago.

Evidently Rhonda lost the Christmas spirit and tired of Fred, cuz four days before he was killed, she sold him to Lost Creek Plantation, a game preserve where people can go and "hunt" for animals.

The "hunter's" father, Mike Stone, claims he had no idea Fred was Fred:

"We were told that it was a feral hog and we hunted it on the pretense that it was a feral hog."

Given Fred's portly stature, it's a safe bet he had a pretty comfortable life before that ill-fated day. So I'm guessing the first hour or so of the "hunt" went something like this for poor Fred:

"Wow, these guys want me to work for my treats today. I guess I have to run a little bit to get them to give me my sweet potato slop. Well, you gotta do whatcha gotta do... Okay, guys, joke's over, where's my dinner?... What the f---???"

To review: well done, Rhonda Blissitt, for selling your pet to be hunted down and killed in a game preserve. Nice work, Mike Stone, teaching your kid how to "hunt" by taking him to a place where the animal has absolutely no chance to escape. And Jamison? Good luck with the rest of your life. You're gonna need it.

I think this story needs a little theme music, don't you?