Morning Wood - I'm Not Sure What Happened

Chicago White Sox 5 Tampa Bay Devil Rays 4

Ok, so here's what I remember, though it could have all been just one strange dream. The White Sox finished a game with more runs scored than their opponent. I have no idea what it means, I just know that I'm very, very scared. Seriously, I was up all night just counting the seconds until the meteor hit. I'm not going outside today, and for your safety, I don't think you should either. Terrible things are going to happen. Terrible, horrible things! The Sox got clutch hits when they needed them! Then after the pitching staff would give up the lead, the Sox would take it back. So....scared...so....cold.....help......

Chicago Cubs 10 Colorado Rockies 9

The Cubs had an 8-3 lead in this game, and then gave up 6 runs in the 9th before before an Alfonso Soriano single won the game in the bottom of the 9th. The best part of the game was when another baseball fan-obviously aware of the aforementioned apocalypse-charged onto the field after Bob Howry following Troy Tulowitzki's three-run homer that gave Colorado a lead. He was then treated to a clothesline by security. The Cubs have now won four in a row, and if I can take a moment to address Cubs fans now, I'd like to.

Seriously. Listen. I know you just swept the White Sox, and have a nice little streak going here. You should be happy, you're winning. That said, can you please shut up with all the talk about how you're going to win the division and go to the playoffs? Wow, you swept the White Sox. The team with the third worst record in baseball. Congrats. You're still three games under .500 and 7.5 games out of first place. Gloat all you want about sweeping the Sox, it's your reward for doing it, but shut the fuck up about the playoffs already. And I know what you're thinking, but trust me when I say that I'd be telling my fellow Sox fans the same thing if the tables were turned. The only difference is Sox fans would get a whole post for it. You guys just get this.

Ok, back to our regularly scheduled programming...

Seattle Mariners 9 Boston Red Sox 4

As if you needed any more proof that the world is about to end, Jeff Weaver won his second straight start on Monday night. He only pitched 5.2 innings, but allowed only a single run against the Red Sox. That means in his last two starts, Weaver has thrown 14.2 innings and allowed a single run? Are you scared yet? You should be.

Elsewhere...

AL

• Indians 5 A's 2
• Rangers 8 Tigers 3
• Blue Jays 8 Twins 5
• Royals 5 Angels 3

NL

• Braves 4 Nationals 1
• Mets 2 Cardinals 1
• Brewers 6 Astros 1
• Dodgers 8 DBacks 1
• Giants 4 Padres 3