Hey Hawk, Can the Corn
As a lifelong White Sox fan, I've watched quite a few Sox games in my lifetime. It's hard to believe, I know, but that doesn't change the fact that it's true.
Of course, that means I've spent a lot of my life listening to Hawk Harrelson call the games.
Now, I know that people generally seem to love Hawk or hate him.
Me? I've always kind of fallen in the middle.
I don't mind him being an unabashed homer, as long as he doesn't take it to a level where he sounds completely ridiculous. Like when he starts pulling out the conspiracy theories about how the home plate umpire is giving the White Sox a completely different strike zone than the other team.
Listen, Hawk. Just because an ump makes one bad call does not mean he has a vendetta against us for killing his mother when he was a little boy.
There's also some of Hawk's catch phrases. The "hang wiffum," "can of corn," the "duck snort," and of course the "You can put it on the board, yeeees." I like some, I don't like some.
But in the last week, Hawk has introduced a new phrase into his daily lexicon that is driving me insane.
During a Sox loss to the Pirates, Jim Thome hit a deep drive to left field that was caught by Jason Bay, robbing Thome of a home run and the Sox from the lead. As Bay drifted back, Hawk went into another one of his old standbys.
"Stretch! Stretch! C'mon stretch! Get back there!!"
Then Bay caught the ball.
"Dadgummit!!"
I laughed. I thought it was just the good ole boy in the Georgia born-and-raised Hawk poking his head out for a moment in the booth.
Then in the next Sox game, he said it again. And in the game after that. In fact he now says it everytime something bad happens.
A deep fly ball to center that's caught at the track?
"Dadgummit!!"
The bullpen surrendering their 17th home run of the ball game?
"Dadgummit!!"
Ozzie Guillen turning down Hawk's latest advances?
"Dadgummit!!"
Ok, so that last one isn't true, but you get the point.
Anyway, Hawk. I'm begging you. Stop saying it.
In the history of dumb things I've ever heard announcers say, this one is right up there.
Quite frankly, the only logical next step is for you to start playing "Dueling Banjos" on the air. And I don't want that hillbilly shit creeping into my White Sox game. This is baseball. If you want to be a redneck, go call NASCAR races.
Also, if you want to take this personally and refer to me or my website on air like you do Mariotti, thereby giving me all sorts of pub, feel free. You can even call me a hiney-bird. Just know that I hate Mariotti too, and would in all likelihood be honored by it.
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6 comments:
Hate to say it, Hawk, cuz I love you, but Fornelli's right, dadgummit.
And Fornelli, as a gesture of respect to Hawk, I think you should send him a free MUCK FARIOTTI t-shirt.
getting swept at home by the northsiders? Dadgummit!
I got to experience Hawk this week during the Marlins series. I am disgusted at his homerism.
http://tinyurl.com/2wsn3z
yeah, what Len Kaspar said
how sweep it is, Hawk!
Hawk is horrible. Worst announcer in the history of baseball.
That "He gone" is the most obnoxious tag line I've ever heard in nearly 50 years of listening to baseball announcers. I would even rather hear Bob Prince babbling about Green Weenies than the the Hawk's HG thing.
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